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MOVIE REVIEW: Bloody Knuckles (2014)

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Do you want to be offended? I don't necessarily say that in a mean way or anything like that; I mean do you want to be offended in a way that will make you end up cracking a smile and just hating yourself a little bit after? Then you should watch Bloody Knuckles. This Canadian horror comedy is a surprisingly hilarious, and oh so juvenile, film that underneath all the dick and fart jokes offers up a surprising commentary on the nature of offensiveness in this politically correct world.

The story of the film revolves around underground comic book artist Travis (Adam Boys), whose comics are delightfully offensive and unflinching in honesty. His work manages to piss off a local crime lord, and before you know it, Travis has his drawing hand severed. Travis subsequently begins a downward spiral into depression...until his severed hand mysteriously comes back to life and begins a mission of bloody, and hilarious, revenge. Along for the ride is Travis' plucky newspaper reporter love interest (Gabrielle Giraud) and eventually a gay, S&M themed vigilante (seriously). There's more going on too, but seriously, you've got to see this shit for yourself instead of reading me describing it.

Written and directed by Matt O'Mahoney, Bloody Knuckles is a total fucking hoot. Though it offers up plenty of offensiveness and all, like I had said earlier, it's never mean spirited. When this movie is funny, it's funny and supremely enjoyable. The cast somehow manages to keep straight faces throughout the absurdity of it all, and all of them turn in some pretty good performances too. It should also be mentioned that for a low budget film, there's some surprisingly good effects work in terms of makeup, blood, and the severed hand moments as well.

Now Bloody Knuckles isn't going to win any awards or anything, but for what it is, it's pretty damn good. It offers up enough blood and laughs to keep you entertained, and it's briskly paced enough so you'll be glued to the screen for its whole running time. If any of what I've described sounds up your alley at all, give this a look.

Rating: 4/5

Posted by Nick Durham in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW: Maniacts (2001)

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Writer and Director: Curt Cressler (as C.W. Cressler); Stars: Jeff Fahey, Kellie Waymire; Rating: R; Run Time: 92 min; Genre: Action | Comedy | Drama | Horror; Country: USA; Language: English; Year: 2001

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While Order Valium From India classifies Maniacts only as Action | Comedy | Drama, I've taken the liberty of adding horror because it touches on our genre as well as any of the categories they assigned it. Sometimes compared to Natural Born Killers, Maniacts is one of those rare gems the dedicated horror fan finds by accident. Loosely the story of two serial killers who fall in love while both are in the Edgemare Institute for the Criminally Insane, Maniacts is a dark comedic commentary on the treatment of the mentally ill and society in general. Written and directed by Curt Cresslar (as C.W. Cressler), Maniacts also questions what is sane and insane, noting that ‚Äúbeing good and doing what's right, they aren't always the same thing‚ÄĚ.

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Joseph ‚ÄúJoe‚ÄĚ Spinelli (Jeff Fahey) is dubbed the Blueblood Killer for his having killed only members of elite society, arrives at Edgemare where Elizabeth ‚ÄúBeth‚ÄĚ Windsor (Kellie Waymire) is already incarcerated. Known as the Hitch-Hiker Killer, Beth becomes amazingly strong when she is angered ‚Äď strong enough to snap a man's neck - feat that Joe finds entrancing and endearing. Reaching out to Joe, Beth shows appreciation for the shock value of Joe's pranks, seeing a touch of the artisit in his handiwork and attention to detail. Although his stunts land him in solitary, Joe finds them rewarding enough to continue since Beth appreciates them as much as he loves doing them.¬†

Beth, meanwhile, has to reconcile herself regarding Joe. As she finds herself interested in him, Beth asks him if he has killed any actually bluebloods. Believing herself to be a descendant of Queen Elizabeth, it would be unthinkable of her to continue associating with Joe if he had killed actual bluebloods. Lucky for both of them, he had not, and the two are free to continue their budding relationship. Even luckier, they have a friend inside an otherwise completely corrupt asylum. Mason (Mel Winkler), an ex-felon asylum attendant, sees what the rest of the staff cannot or do not want to see: the sadistic methods of the matron and her staff of bullies are destroying any chance that these ‚Äď and any of the other ‚Äď inmates have.

Jeff Fahey is always good, regardless of the genre, and he excels in this multi-faceted piece. We laugh with him, we cry for him, and we want to help him. No matter what he goes through, we cannot help but feel for him. Kellie Waymire as Beth is enchanting. Small, perky, happy, thoughtful, and charismatic, Beth is the perfect partner for softspoken Joe. Leslie Easterbrook (Police Academy) plays the inmate's matron with a quite a bit of a nod to Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher) in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Matron Knull, however, is more of a caricature of Louise Fletcher's Nurse Ratched allowing us to laugh in a way that Ratched could not. There was no comedy there; only brutal reality.

Matron Knull is assisted in her sadistic handling of the day-to-day operations of the asylum by her questionable staff, the appropriately named Bull (Bob Koherr) and Carp (Simon Brooke). Meanwhile, the director, Dr. Denton Speck (Bob Bancroft), is more than happy to allow Knull to run the place as it leaves him open to pursue his political aspirations. When things take a turn for the truly dark, Mason is unable to continue to allow the corruption he sees and helps Joe escape. Everything changes when Joe returns for Beth.

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While it is not strictly horror by any means, Maniacts manages to portray the horror of contemporary society with humor, poignancy, drama, and a bit of action. Maniacts is a dark comedy, heady and worth watching more than twice.

NOTE: There is an edited version without the blood. Do not watch that one.

7/10 claws ‚Äď Dedicated to actor Joe Spinell.

Posted by Woofer McWooferson in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments

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By: John Roisland

If you're anything like my family, we have Halloween/horror movie décor decorating our house year round. For years we always looked forward to finding all the new items covering the shelves come Halloween season . These items aren't so much items that we use for the front yard to scare and amuse local trick or treaters with, but more for personal use.

A talking, life-sized Pinhead standing in the corner, over sized coffee mugs that read poison or witches brew on them. Zombie playing cards, Frankenstein and Bride of  salt and pepper shakers; the list goes on and on.  Every room in our house, from bedrooms to living room, kitchen and bath included, all have something from our finds in our holiday haunt shopping.

Major name holiday stores would come into towns, and rent out buildings that once housed a semi large store,  and set up a Halloween mega store. They hang a huge banner on the outside of the building , and it's business as usual. I used to leave work early to go I was so excited! I was like a kid in a candy store! I didn't need December 25, this was my Christmas!

The props, the outfits, the animatronics, and knick-knacks were overwhelming. We could and would spend hours in these stores that shall remain nameless.

Over the last few years, the shelves are less and less stocked, and the product is and has become a lot  more lackluster. The quality has dropped and it just seems to be so...generic. The thrill was dwindling and our collecting started to slow down.

The quality of the products was becoming more and more cheaply made. The look of mass production definitely had seemed to take over. And the animatronics, granted some were cool...or could have been, just seem to be loud and annoying! Where they once had full size animatronics of horror icons,  i.e. the headless horsemen, Frankenstein, Pinhead, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Hannibal Lecter, Freddy're now given clowns or zombies...that seemingly wiggle and scream thru small very distorted speakers.

We did  stop by one of these mega stores and took a look around. My hopes were high...but still didn't expect much, and good damn thing. The prices are honestly, ridiculous. I have no problem paying for good quality items, but when they are cheaply made, cheaply colored, and horribly packaged, then I have an issue with that. The economy is in the shitter as it folks, fuck corporate America, give the people a break and they will respond and support you a lot better! By the end of our trip, we had spent way too much on way too little. If not for a coupon that they had sent me via email, for $10 off our purchase, I would have been kinda pissed. Considering the best thing we bought was a Friday the 13th Jason pint glass for $10.00 .

Overall I walked away happy that I got to see all the Halloween stuff, but at the same time I was so disappointed at what they had. Even half of the items were the same things I had seen for the past few years. It doesn't really give me much hope for the future. Funny thing, is I had even contemplated doing this piece since Halloween, and had actually just deleted the pix and videos I had taken while visiting the store, really wish I had them to share with you so you could see my points.

Now, would running or working at one of these places seem like a dream job, YES...would I still love to have half of their inventory?? YESSS. Who in the mind wouldn't love to be surrounded by all of it, even if for just a few months out of the year!?! But from a consumer's stand point, especially one with kids, and one who respectfully collects this year round, I sure as hell hope they see this message and reconsider before ordering their mass produced shit to stock the shelves with, because to be honest, I'm finding better quality items at places like Walgreen's and even Dollar Tree!

These stores do bring many smiles and joy to many who believe that Halloween is but once year, as opposed to everyday like myself and so many others, it's just disappointing to see what the inventory was to what it has become.

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Posted by John Roisland in EDITORIALS, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW: Stung (2015)

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Horror comedies are a tricky thing to get the ball rolling with: sometimes they work really well and offer a good mix of scares and humor, but on the flipside, sometimes they don't offer enough of either, or one will end up dominating the other, and the whole affair will feel uneven. Stung is a horror comedy that doesn't necessarily do anything wrong or even badly, but it doesn't do enough to be too memorable either in the realm of the horror/comedy film. That being said, while it isn't perfect, it does end up being very serviceable and even mostly enjoyable regardless.

The story revolves around a pair of caterers (Matt O'Leary and Jessica Cook) working at an upscale garden party in a rural area, and wind up becoming targets for mutated killer wasps. Said mutated killer wasps lay their eggs in their prey, so as you can imagine, there is lots and lots of slaughter on the menu. Clifton Collins Jr. (Star Trek, Boondock Saints II) is on board as a hilariously creepy momma's boy, and genre stalwart Lance Henriksen is here as well, doing what he does best...which is be Lance Henriksen.

Stung is the directorial debut of visual effects artist Benni Diez, who shows loads of promise behind the camera, does pretty well in terms of the technical aspects the film has to offer. Not to mention the fact that the creature and makeup effects are surprisingly good as well. The gore effects are occasionally nasty, and there's some moments of crap CGI effects as well, although that's to be expected with a low budget creature I guess. The cast is good; playing their parts fairly straight given the subject matter...except for Lance Henriksen. He hams it up and chews more scenery than a cow chews grass. But it's Lance, and I can't stay mad at him even if I wanted to.

So yeah, Stung isn't anything special, but for what it is, it's plenty enjoyable. It's currently on Netflix, and is a good time killer if you have an hour and a half to spare. I mean hey, there's worse ways to kill actually getting stung by a wasp. Fuck that noise.

Rating: 3/5

Posted by Nick Durham in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW: Charlie’s Farm (2014)

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Charlie's Farm is the new Australian slasher from writer/director Chris Sun starring Bill Moseley, Kane Hodder, Tara Reid and Aussie strongman Nathan Jones. I had heard of the project for a while and assumed, as I think many others did, that it was based on the Manson family. Possibly fueled by the continued rumors that Bill Moseley was set to star asCheapest Valium Online Buy. Despite Bill himself calling shenanigans multiple times the rumor persisted.

But no Charlie's Farm is not a docudrama or fictionalized tale of the Manson family and their own farm. No, it's a down and dirty Australian slasher film, and it's pretty damn good. It's not Citizen Kane,it's not an exceptionally deep movie, but what it does it does well.

Charlie's Farm doesn't go for humor like seems to be the norm for a lot of slashers now. There is some joking around and lite humor between the characters but when the killing starts, it business time.

The story focuses on a group of campers looking for a new experience. Hearing the legends of Charlie's Farm they decide to head there for a couple days of camping and exploring the legends. It seems Charlie's Farm was the home of a family of cannibals that preyed on back packers. When the locals got fed up they attacked the farm killing the head of the family played by Moseley, and his wife. In the confusion the couple's young son Charlie (Cameron Caulfield) escapes into the woods. Years later he is rumored to be lurking nearby, The campers find that young Charlie has grown into a seven foot monster of a man, played by Nathan Jones (Mad Max: Fury Road), with his parents taste for mayhem.

One of the really cool things about Charlie's Farm, is we get to see Kane Hodder in a different role than he's most known for. The man who was Jason ( and always will be to his fans) has a large role, out of mask or makeup, and he's playing a heroic role. I don't want to give away too much, but it's not just a cameo, and we do get to see a fight between the two big men.

Bill Moseley (The Devil's Rejects) is basically playing a slightly older version of Otis Firefly. That's not a bad thing, as no one plays crazy, cannibal killer better than Bill. He has limited screen time but he hams it up with insane aplomb. But Nathan Jones as the grown up Charlie Wilson is the star of the show. He's big, impressive, strong and has a flair for interesting kills. If there's a down side it's that he doesn't have that much screen time, and we don't really see him till late in the film. Still, he would make am impressive killer to hold down a new franchise.


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Tara Reid in Charlie's Farm

The biggest surprise for me was Tara Reid. She didn't annoy me nearly as much as usual. You kind of get used to the hot mess Tara, from tabloids and her show Taradise. Her last few film roles have been less than impressive as well. In Charlie's Farm she at least pulls it together and does a semi competent job, at least by Tara standards. She's still (***potential spoiler) a poor choice for a final girl, and co-star Allira Jones would have been a better choice

The rest of the kids, although they all seem a bit older than your usual slasher victims, are just that, your average cookie cutter victims. Sam Coward, as ‚ÄúDonkey‚ÄĚ tries to be funny, and it's actually slightly amusing to see him attempt and mostly fail at humor. Allira Jones as Melanie, has the most personality of all the ‚Äúkids‚ÄĚ and a beautiful smile. The campers are rounded out by Dean Kirkright as Jason.

There's enough gore and kills in Charlie's Farm to keep the gore hounds happy, although it might not send them into a blood fueled ecstasy. It's not on the level with films like The Green Inferno but it's at decent levels for a slasher flick. It is a bit slow in the middle, and the heavy Aussie accents may make it hard to keep up with some of the dialogue in the slow parts.

So while Charlie's Farm isn't breaking new ground, or reinventing the slasher, it's a good throwback to the more serious, less campy horror films. It's not great but it's good enough, and it's got Kane being a good guy. It gets a solid 6 and a half out of ten stars. If you like slashers, check it out, and if you're a fan of Kane, run and grab a copy today.

Posted by Allen Alberson in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments

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It seems the latest trend in horror viewing is on the small screen, ie. television. From Ash vs. Evil Dead, American Horror Story, Bates Motel, and Tremors is even in the works. Now one  of the Masters of Horror, and my personal all time favorite director, the legendary John Carpenter is jumping on the small screen bandwagon.

According to a recent¬† pod cast from the folks at Killer POV podcast who recently interviewed Sandy King, John Carpenter’s producing partner and loving wife, made mention of the two putting out four television series, that god bless them, are all in the horror realm!

John Carpenter, as you know, has put out such legendary classic titles like , Halloween,¬†The Thing, Christine, The Fog, They Live, Prince of Darkness, Big Trouble in Little China, and my personal favorite, Escape from New York. All movies Carpenter has for the most part written and directed…and added his known signature score to most as well.

Now,¬†I’m not a¬†TV person…at all! I’ve seen a few episodes of most horror series that are out, and for the most part, I enjoyed what I had seen. But I just don’t do television, I’m strictly a movie guy.¬†Years ago I had a TV theory as a matter of fact. I would see the ad for a new¬†TV series starring a well known actors name. Well, it always seemed that the show usually didn’t do so well, and the said actor wasn’t heard much from after that. So my thoughts were, when you hit the small screen, you were usually headed out. Seems maybe times have turned around. For Mr. Carpenters sake, I do hope so. Not that I don’t have faith in the man, but I would hate to see this be his final show.

Carpenter is said to direct all four pilots as well as produce them all with his wife King. No other information is available at this time as far as actors or even what network the shows will air on. But we will keep you filled in as the news unfolds.

Having met Mr. Carpenter a few years ago at a Spooky Empire  Convention in Orlando Florida, where my wife Stephanie and I presented Mr. Carpenter with a one of a kind , hand made  R.J. McReady (The Thing) doll, made by our dear friend Toy Mangler, which was one of the highlights of my career, I want to wish the best of luck to you Mr. Carpenter!!

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REVIEW: The Blood Lands (2014)

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(original title WHITE SETTLERS)
"They don't belong here"
Directed by Simeon Halligan
Starring Pollyanna McIntosh, Lee Williams and Joanne Mitchell


Sarah and Ed are a newlywed couple looking to get away from their stressful city lives in England. They find an old vacant Scottish home at an unbelievable price and after seeing it, they decide to take on a renovation project and dive into the quiet country lifestyle head first.

Their first day on the property and in the home is an idyllic one. The stuff newlywed dreams are made of. But the boxes aren't even unpacked before Sarah begins to feel that maybe they are not alone and things begin to get decidedly creepy and unsettling. It doesn't take long before there are unwelcome masked visitors who come calling. And they are not friendly.

Perhaps the incredible price they got on this old homestead wasn't such a steal after all...


I am really fond of home invasion type films so when I saw The Blood Lands while surfing through netflix selections,  I had to check it out. Home invasion films really get to me as far as fear levels go, so I was all in. 

For the most part The Blood Lands is your typical home invasion film but from time to time, there were a couple of nail biting scenes that were filled with tension and I found myself unable to sit still. 

The film does start off a little slowly but once things start happening and the cheap false scares end, the creepiness really begins to assert itself as the film begins to pick up speed and it manages to pull you in. Sort of. 

The acting is decent and the picture lighting and sound quality were excellent and because of that, the scenes were loaded with plenty of extra tension and adrenaline. There really wasn't much to be had in the way of gore but we do get a few glimpses of it now and again. 

I quickly became a little annoyed at the poor decisions exhibited by Sarah after she and Ed become separated and I spent over half of the movie waiting for Sarah to grow a spine and start defending herself instead of just trying to elude her attackers. Reduce the numbers of those trying to kill you, I always say. But maybe that's just me.

Although she does have some considerable skill at eluding the attackers, Sarah just sort of aimlessly drifts from place to place with no real intent on her part becoming clear. It doesn't even appear that she is actively looking for her husband, which for a newlywed couple seemed very strange to me but I digress. When she finally discovers him tied up in the barn with one of the pig mask wearing attackers it's more like she just happened upon it but it is then that she finally starts to show some initiative and strikes back, attacking the man and wounding another.

Their characters become a lot less likable as they continue to make one stupid decision after another and the further into the film I got I kinda just want to assist the masked assailants that are terrorizing them. It was almost as if they had no instinct to fight back or even attempt to protect themselves. It seemed to take an unusually long time for them to go into survival mode. Because of their lack of action, it was hard to get emotionally invested with them and care much either way if they survived the night or not. 

As far as home invasion films go this one was a bit on the weak side and a bit predictable at times. I was a bit surprised the ending but had it not been for one key scene in particular (which I won't spoil for you) I would have enjoyed the film much less. All in all it wasn't a terrible film but it was nothing groundbreaking either. 

I give The Blood Lands  7/10 territorial douchebags

Posted by Amy Mead in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
COMIC REVIEW: Clive Barker’s Next Testament

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As I had mentioned before in Valium Order Overnight Delivery for IDW's Clive Barker Omnibus, Barker has dabbled in comic books for quite some time. While there were some original titles for Marvel in the 90s that didn't last long, a majority of Barker's previous works have been adapted into comic book form like Hellraiser, Nightbreed, The Thief of Always, etc. Next Testament is something different entirely. What happens when you find out that God is in fact real? And when I say God, I don't mean the nice and kind and forgiving God that Christians believe in, I mean the nasty, unforgiving, and vengeful God of the Old Testament.

Yes folks, the God in Clive Barker's Next Testament is a bit of a prick to say it lightly.

The story of Next Testament revolves around an entity called Wick, who claims himself to be the one, true God. After being found by a wealthy nutjob named Julian, Wick declares that he is not happy with how humanity has developed in his absence. In fact, he's kind of bored by everything and everyone, and comes to the conclusion that he wants to shake things up a bit...and that is saying it lightly.  What follows are events of cataclysmic proportions, with Julian's son Tristan and his girlfriend Elspeth are caught in the middle as the whole world around them literally plunges into pure hell. That's all I want to spill about the story, just trust me when I say that you really do have to see what unfolds here to really believe it and appreciate it.

In case you haven't realized it just yet, Next Testament is fucking crazy. Co-authored by Barker and Mark Alan Miller, there are events and scenarios depicted here that are unlike almost anything else you'll see in a comic book. The artwork by Haemi Jang is brilliant and vibrant and a sight to behold, especially as the series reaches its conclusion. If there's any drawbacks, it's that supporting characters come and go with little impact or reason, and the aftermath from the final showdown is a little underwhelming, but other than that, Next Testament is a treat.

So yeah, it goes without saying that you should give Clive Barker's Next Testament a look. Whether you're a fan of Barker or a fan of horror comics in general, you're bound to get plenty of enjoyment out of this. All twelve issues are collected across three trade paperbacks, so get out there and pick these up.

Rating: 4.5/5


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Have you ever wondered if the places around you are haunted? Most of the posts you see are usually the most haunted in the world or in a certain state. How frustrating! Not everyone can travel that much, and have the extra time in the day to research what's haunted around them. Well, that's okay because I am here to do some research for you. My goal is to bring you at least five haunted places, one city at a time. The first in this series will be of the town I live in: Tampa Florida.

Tampa Theater

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The Tampa Theater was built in 1926 and was designed the architect John Eberson. His inspiration for the theater came from the gardens of Italy, and France with Persian shrines and Spanish patios mixed in. It is a breath taking theater complete with a ceiling that mimics the sky.  It is absolutely gorgeous. I fully recommend going, and going early so you can take in the design without distracting you from the movie/play/concert.
If you ask anyone who works for the Tampa Theater they will tell you it is haunted. There has been reports of cold spots, ghostly figures, the sounds of doors opening and closing, hearing footsteps, and the sounds of doors opening and closing. One of the ghostly figures that has been seen is of a woman. It is believed that she died before the theater was built and that she is waiting for her fiance. There are also reports of seeing Foster Fink Finley in the projection room when no one else is around. Foster Fink Finley was the projectionist for the Tampa Theater from 1930 to 1965. His final day on the job was also his final day alive. He collapsed in the projection room and died that day of a heart attack. During an investigation paranormal researcher reported seeing someone in an old Tampa Theater uniform. It is believed that it might be Robert Lanier, Sr. Robert Lanier, Sr was a ticket taker employed at the Tampa Theater and had the only known death on the property. On May 29th, 1959 he was found near the box office on the marble tile. His skull was crushed and it is still unknown if he was murdered or if he fell down the stairs.


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Originally Plant Hall was the Tampa Bay Hotel. Henry Plant opened the hotel in 1891 and it boasted 500 rooms within 5 stories. The hotel was built to be the best and most lavish hotel of the time. If you ask me, they nailed it. It is a beautiful ornate Victorian style building with Moorish minarets. It is eye catching to say the least. The hotel closed in 1930, but in late 1933 Tampa Bay Junior College moved in and later became the University of Tampa.
Plant Hall has a variety of haunted experiences. People have reported seeing a man in a three piece brown suit with red eyes. In one event when the witness turned a fled from him he reappeared in the next room drinking tea. There have been reports of seeing Victorian era servants still carrying out their duties. On professor reported seeing a mist that had a figure like shape to it that moved through the wall as soon as he began to pay attention to it. Many have heard whispers, chatter, and dice rolling. Students have reported having the lights shut off on them while studying alone. Even if people don't see or hear anything a lot of people have reported the feeling of being watched.


Britton Cinema 8

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Britton Cinema 8 is situated in a shopping plaza that was built in 1956. It has changed hands a number of times through out the years.
Employees of Britton Cinema 8 have heard their names being called and voices inside of empty theaters. One guest reported the chairs next to her creaking as if someone was pushing the seat down to sit next to her. Another guest said that as he was enjoying a movie inside of an empty theater he started to notice people appearing in the seats in front of him. The women's restroom has it's own resident ghost. People have heard stall doors close and lock on their own as well as toilets flush. However, I couldn't find reports of the water being run. Gross ghosts; wash your hands.


Crown Colony House [Busch Gardens]

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Located inside of Busch Gardens the Crown Colony House was originally called The Old Swiss House. The Old Swiss House was built in 1964 and was a replica of a Swiss restaurant. In 1982 it was shut down and used by the entertainment department for rehearsals and auditions. It was later renovated and opened back up in 1990 as the Crown Colony House.
Employees of the Crown Colony House have encountered a mist in the dining room that they believe to be an eight year old girl named Wendy. She's also said to stop the elevator between floors. During closing employees have reported hearing voices, laughing, and children playing inside of building. Guests and employees have said to have seen an elderly bartender and some have also caught a glimpse of a pianist sitting at the piano before he vanishes. A full apparition of a woman wearing a white night gown has also been seen by employees. Many have experienced flickering lights and unexplained cold spots.


Sunshine Skyway Bridge

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The original Sunshine Skyway Bridge was built in 1954. It had a vertical clearance of 150 feet and sported only two lanes. In 1971 they added a southbound span. However, tragedy struck twice in 1980. On January 28th, 1980 USCGC Blackthorn [a buoy tender] collided with Capricorn [a tanker] while trying to pass underneath the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. Twenty-three servicemen died in the collision. On May 9th, 1980 MV Summit Venture [a freighter] was passing under the Sunshine Skyway Bridge when it hit one of the support columns. The bridge collapsed taking 8 vehicles with it. One of the vehicles was a greyhound bus that was taking a group of college kids to Miami. Thirty-five people died in that incident; there were only two survivors. One man swam to shore and the other was able to stop his car 14 inches before the collapsed area of the bridge. A new bridge was built and opened in 1987. Sunshine Skyway Bridge has 4 lanes of traffic and a vertical clearance of 197 feet. There have been upwards of 200 suicides from the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. In an attempt to counteract the high rate of jumpers the state has put in six crisis hotline phones along the center span in 1999 and began 24-hour patrols.
In the 60's and 70's people started reporting to police of potential jumpers on the original Sunshine Skyway Bridge. Sometimes when the officers went out to help they could find no evidence of someone being their search for a body would turn up nothing. These reports are ongoing. Some drivers have stopped to pick up a you woman hitch hiking on the bridge, but the closer they get to the summit the more upset she gets. When the person turns to console her she is gone. There has also been reports of her making it all the way to the end of the bridge only to have disappeared leaving a wet spot on the seat. Parts of the original Sunshine Skyway Bridge are now used a piers and are a popular fishing spot. On the tenth anniversary of the bridge collapse people reported seeing an old style grey hound bus filled with young people that were just staring ahead. People also report hearing screams and squealing breaks early in the morning on the pier. A paranormal dive team went to investigate under the bridge and found a strange unexplained light phenomenon. Some have seen a pioneer woman wearing a grey dress and hovering over the water underneath the bridge. Witnesses say she has a sullen look to her and she never interacts or notices them. No one is sure where she came from or what happened to her in her life.


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Back in August of 2014, it was announced director Adam Schindler (Delivery: The Beast Within) was set to direct upcoming home invasion horror thriller, Shut In, which was originally slated for a 2015 release. The name has since been changed to Intruders and is finally set for its theatrical and VOD run on January 15, 2016 and will be released throughValium Online No Customs (an E1 company).

Film fest hit Intruders will star Beth Riesgraf (TV series The Librarians) , Martin Starr (Dead Snow), Rory Culkin (Signs, Scream 4) and Jack Kesy (TV series The Strain) and is reported to be a home invasion horror with a bit of a twist, a sort of Home Alone meets You're Next. 

The synopsis of the film is as such:

A trio of criminals breaks into a house thinking it is abandoned. However, it is inhabited by an attractive young woman with a severe case of  agoraphobia so incapacitating she would rather stay in the home and contend with the bad guys, than venture out of it in an attempt to escape them. Little does this trio of bandits know that agoraphobia is just ONE of her mental issues.

There is much more to this demure woman than meets the eye and soon a deadly game of cat and mouse unfolds as she pulls a few tricks of her own and wages a war on the unsuspecting criminals who never saw her coming. 

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MOVIE REVIEW: Boxing Helena (1993)

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Directed by Jennifer Chambers Lynch

Story written by Phillipe Caland

Screenplay written by Jennifer Chambers Lynch

Starring Julian Sands, Sherilyn Fenn, Bill Paxton, Kurtwood Smith and Art Garfunkel


Dr. Nick Cavanaugh is a successful surgeon living on a posh Atlanta estate who is as lonely as the day is long. Lonely and harboring some pretty hardcore mommy issues, he becomes obsessed with the beautiful and beguiling Helena after a clandestine one night stand. He is unable to shake the memory of her, in spite of being engaged to his lovely fiance Anne. His enchantment with Helena leads him to many careless acts, including climbing the trees outside her apartment and peeping on her and pretty much stalking her. 

Nick throws a party one night and foolishly invites Helena. He is forced to witness her flirt with a young man at the party. Helena becomes the talk of the party when she removes her dress and goes for a nice, sexy stroll through the majestic water fountain in Nick's garden and then leaves with the young man she just met. The way Nick feels for Helena is written all over his face as he watches her in the fountain, leading to an angry confrontation with his fiance Anne in which he denies any sort of relationship with Helena. 

The next day Helena returns to Nick's estate to retrieve something she mistakenly left something behind at the party.  This leads to an awkward standoff between Nick and Helena and she tries to leave in a hurry and winds up getting hit by a car in front of Nick's property, leaving her with some pretty gnarly damage to her legs.

Lucky for Helena (or is it?), Nick is a surgeon and he is able to treat her right there in his home and keep her alive. However, when Helena finally wakes, she discovers that both of her legs are gone and she is virtually a prisoner in Nick's palatial home. Nick uses excuse after excuse as to why he is keeping her there and eventually Helena tries to strangle him. bad move on her part as she then wakes up and her perfectly healthy arms have also been removed.

She is now completely dependent upon the man who has taken his obsession to another level and she is beginning to resign herself to the fact that she may never make it out alive...



Buy Valium India Onlineis the directorial debut from Jennifer Chambers Lynch and it garnered just as much controversy during its creation as it did once it played to shocked audiences upon its completion. There were many legal woes as a lawsuit was filed against Kim Basinger for backing out of a verbal agreement to play the titular role. The studio won and it cost her a cool seven million dollars, thus placing the film in the spotlight before it was even in the can. 

It turns out it was what was best for the film in the long run. I cannot see this film being even half as good with Basinger in the role of Helena. I have a hard time seeing anyone but the sexy siren Sherilyn Fenn (yes, she is my woman crush) playing her, even knowing that Madonna was up for the role at one point. Sherilyn Fenn is Helena. No question about it for me. I think she is the only one who could exude the sexiness required for the role and do it any justice.

Jennifer Chambers Lynch gets a lot of hate for this movie but I personally love it. I have since my first viewing upon the film's video release WAY back in the nineties. I don't care what anyone says, I think her direction on this film is fantastic. I have also heard that Fenn and Sands have both received criticism for their performances in the years since the films release, but I think the roles of Nick and Helena were played exactly the way they needed to be, by who they needed to be. Being that Chambers Lynch adapted the screenplay from Phillipe Caland's story herself, their performances were more than likely exactly what she was after. 

Given the subject matter, one might be led to believe that the film would be ultra gory but that is not the case here at all. We are not made privy to the act of Helena's limbs being taken from her, we are only made witness to the aftermath and Helena's shock upon waking up and realizing that parts of her are missing. We witness her downward mental spiral and it is truly horrific and heartbreaking to watch her decline into anger, sadness. and despair and it is almost heartbreaking to watch, until we start to see that in spite of everything, she has retained her fiery spirit after all. She unleashes her fury and holds nothing back with her verbal tirades upon Nick. She abuses him right back with her words and it's very refreshing to see. 

While Boxing Helena is not your typical horror film by any means, even without the gore and jump scares, the film is quite terrifying purely based on its subject matter alone. It takes a really unhinged person to subject someone you "love" to the humiliation he places upon Helena. The thought of going through what Helena does makes my skin crawl. SO creepy. 

Say what you want about Boxing Helena, but I myself love it. It may not be in your face horror but it is truly horrific nonetheless. I have watched it countless times and will watch it countless more. If you haven't seen it yet (and I don't know how that's possible) you need to. Immediately. 

I give Boxing Helena a solid  9/10 



Posted by Amy Mead in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
RECAP: Ash vs Evil Dead, S01E03, Books From Beyond

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Well episode three has the show up to full speed and the plot is starting to thicken. We open with Ruby not far behind Ash and the others, as she arrives at Kelly’s parents farm. She finds the graves left behind by our heroes and interrogates Kelly’s deadite Dad. We find out that the deadites know who Ruby is. We also find out that she has a dagger much like the one left behind at the cabin… And we’ve all been wondering what happened to that!

Meanwhile, Ash and company arrive at the book store, Books From Beyond, to see Lionel and have him translate a spell to reverse what Ash has mistakenly unleashed. Detective Fisher is leaving as Ash enters, and once outside she requests the police sketch to see if that is the man she is pursuing. Upon making a positive identification she goes to her car to get her gun and go back in. Across the street Pablo and Kelly are waiting in the car and, just as Pablo realizes he is falling fast into the friend zone with Kelly, they see Fisher cocking her gun as she re-enters the book store.

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The two follow her in and just as she draws her sidearm and announces she is a police officer, Pablo hits her from behind and knocks her unconscious. ‚ÄúShe say she was a cop?! Oh shit! I just knocked out a cop.. It was self defense.‚ÄĚ Lionel from the book store is strangely o.k. with all the chaos and allows them to cuff her in the back room. He‚Äôs more interested in the book. He‚Äôs fascinated, almost obsessed.. ‚ÄúIt‚Äôs real‚ÄĚ he says as he examines the book. It proves his life ‚Äúhas meaning‚ÄĚ and goes on to explain the origin and uses of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis.

Turns out the book was written by ‚ÄúThe Dark Ones‚ÄĚ, beings not human nor demon, as a weapon against humanity, with the power to create portals connecting our world to the underworld. Bound in the flesh and inked with the blood of the dammed, the dark ones used the book to hold power over all mankind. Cool little animated back story ensues, and essentially, it‚Äôs a tool of evil. Pablo being Pablo, says ‚ÄúI wish we could just summon an answer‚ÄĚ. Ash being Ash takes it one further and tells Lionel to summon the ‚Äúweakest‚ÄĚ demon in the book and ask it how to undo the other spell.

Lionel suggests Eligos, a lesser demon who possesses knowledge of hidden things. Ash says he sounds like a total nerd, get him out and lets chat .They succeed in summoning him, and in the end it seems that wasn’t the best of ideas. That whole scene, actually the whole episode was chock full of that genius dark comedy/horror that keeps me coming back each week. This episode has so much great dialogue, and its my favorite episode so far. But , for me anyway, each episode is better than the last and the show just keeps getting better.

Bruce Campbell is perfect as always, and Lucy Lawless is as hot as she’s ever been. Pablo's character finally won me over in this episode, and next episode we meet his uncle the brujo. Kelly's goin’ thru a lot right now, and understandably conflicted. Amanda Fisher is cuffed to the bookcase in the store and about to be attacked by deadite Lionel, and Ruby is gonna’ catch up to Ash sooner or later. Stay tuned for episode four Brujo. New episodes Saturday nights on Starz.

COMIC REVIEW: Hellblazer

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I love comic books, always have and always will. That being said, there was a time in my adolescence where I had grown tired of the typical superhero fare to come from Marvel and DC. In all honesty, I had just grown plain old bored. At that time in my youth, I had mistakenly figured that that was all there was in terms of comics: dudes in spandex punching each other out...because reasons.  Then something happened...I discovered Vertigo Comics.

Vertigo Comics is the mature-labeled imprint of DC Comics, specializing in much more graphic and nasty storytelling than their mainstream brethren would. Among my initial discoveries from Vertigo were classic titles like Neil Gaiman's Sandman and Garth Ennis' Preacher; both of which are legendary comics in their own right...but the very first Vertigo book I ever laid eyes on was something called Hellblazer. Hellblazer revolved around the chain-smoking, wise-cracking Brit, John Constantine. Constantine deals in black magic and bad luck by trade, often finding himself in the middle of plots involving demonic possession, serial killers, and other sorts of general nastiness. In his travels he has managed to cross (and literally flip off) Satan himself, gotten lung cancer, used his friends and loved ones as pawns in his various plots, and has managed to piss off nearly everyone that has come in his path...

...John Constantine is my fucking spirit animal.

Originally introduced in the pages of Alan Moore's legendary run on Swamp Thing in 1985, Constantine became an almost instantly loved character. He was given his own series with Hellblazer in the beginning of 1988, with writer Jamie Delano fleshing out the character's complicated backstory. Hellblazer would run for 300 issues before concluding in 2013 (and subsequently relaunched as just Constantine as part of DC Comics' company-wide relaunch of their shared universe). Throughout the decades, a variety of well-known and well-revered writers, including Grant Morrison, Garth Ennis, Paul Jenkins, Warren Ellis, Brian Azzarello, Mike Carey, Peter Milligan, and plenty more besides, have tackled the title and character, and have crafted some truly amazing and horrific stories.

If I could recommend any Hellblazer to check out, I'd recommend Original Sins first. This collects the first dozen or so issues of the series, and really crafts John's background and his nature of occasionally doing good deeds by doing bad things...and the fallout that follows. DC/Vertigo has started reprinting a number of the collected works and still releases them sporadically, so this is the easiest one to pick up first. After that, I recommend tracking down the Dangerous Habits (which was more or less the basis for that Keanu Reeves-starring abortion of an adaptation from 2005), Haunted, and Hard Time. These are all essential Hellblazer stories (at least to me) and deserve your time and attention.

So, whether you only know about the character of John Constantine from the aforementioned Keanu Reeves shitfest, or the dreadfully underrated TV show from last year, and you want more of him; please do yourself a favor and check out Hellblazer. It is without a doubt one of the greatest long-running series' ever put to paper, and remains one of the best horror comics of the modern era. Thank me later.

MOVIE REVIEW: Let Us Prey (2014)

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Let us Prey

Directed by Brian O'Malley
Starring Pollyanna McIntosh, Bryan Larkin and Liam Cunningham


Buy Cheap Valium Online opens up on waves crashing upon a shoreline and a man, mysteriously appearing on top of the jagged rocks and then advancing toward the rural seaside Scottish village. 

This mysterious man, (known to us only as Six) has decided to appear on what is PC Rachel Heggie's first night on the job and almost immediately, craziness and confusion begin.

After waking from a horrible nightmare, Rachel prepares for work and on her walk into the precinct, she witnesses a  speeding car hit a man who is just standing in the middle of the road. She approaches the vehicle, but upon further inspection, she sees that no one is there. No wounded, broken body. No victim. The man has simply vanished. She hauls the driver in and alerts fellow PC's to be on the lookout for the man. 

A team of fellow officers apprehend the man and bring him to the station. Straight away things seems off with him somehow and begin to get weird and this man Six, seems to know a lot things he shouldn't about the other people in the building, officers and criminals alike. Things that there are no way he could possibly know.

Before long this mysterious stranger seems to be running the show and seemingly takes over the minds, and souls, of everyone present and they all become increasingly aware of the various crimes they are guilty of, as well as the price that must be paid for them. 

Through a series of flashbacks, it becomes evident that Rachel survived some sort of horrific ordeal when she was young and we see that she and Six have met once before, a long time ago and we begin to get a sense that maybe this night's happenings are not as random and off kilter as they appear...

Let Us Prey moves along a little slowly and is slightly confusing at first but in the long run, it does a lot to help feed into the apprehension and tension of the film. Once the film gets moving, and some questions are answered, the more carnage there is. There was a fair amount of blood, for a gore hound such as myself to enjoy and some of the kills were pretty gruesome indeed (My personal favorite is the table leg in the socket kill) and once it starts, it's pretty much relentless until the very end. 

In addition to blood and carnage,  I am also a big fan of watching total douchebags who deserve a proper ass kicking get what's coming to them and Let Us Prey definitely delivers in that aspect.  Watching Rachel's fellow officers get their comeuppance was truly a delight and even though I could sympathize with the prisoners more than the officers, it was fun watching them meet their end as well. 

I also really enjoyed the acting by the whole cast but particularly the interaction between Rachel and Six, especially at the films climax. 

In spite of the slow burn I did enjoy this one tremendously and would recommend the rest of you giving it a watch. There are far worse ways to waste your time and money, trust me. Do yourself a favor and check this one out. 

I give Let Us Prey 7/10 assholes who had it comin'

Posted by Amy Mead in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
GAME REVIEW: Escape Dead Island (PS3, XBOX 360)

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I have a love/hate relationship with the Dead Island franchise, like severely. I enjoy the idea of what the Dead Island games offer: survival horror on a zombie-infested island where you have to be resourceful and use whatever you can at your disposal to survive. What's always killed those games for me is that they all wind up being the same thing: go from point A to point B (and occasionally point C) to do some shitty fetch quests, stab a zombie now and then, rinse and repeat. Boom. That's Dead Island. Critics and gamers have always been split on the end result of the games, but the series has its fans, and that's all well and good.

And then we have

Escape Dead Island is a game that promises to be something different. It's a third person action game that starts out kind of interesting enough, as you play as a sword-wielding ninja taking down zombies in a lab. Plus the graphics are cell-shaded so it looks like you're playing a moving, breathing, comic book. Sounds pretty fucking cool right?

Yeah well, it's not. Like at all. Escape Dead Island is a tiring bore that makes me want to staple my balls to a ceiling fan and turn it on full fucking blast.

The ninja level I mentioned earlier only lasts for the game's prologue, as immediately after you are put in the shoes of the game's toolbag main character Cliff; who is investigating the zombie events taking place on the island from the original game...or an island close to that island...I don't fucking know, it doesn't matter, it's still a fucking island. There's no RPG-ish elements here like there are in the other games, and the action is pretty straight forward, and just plain fucking boring. Customization options are practically nonexistent for anything and everything here too, so yeah...boring.

Now believe it or not, I can get past a game being boring for the most part...if the thing's mechanics aren't broken that is. The mechanics of Escape Dead Island are so damn broken that it isn't even funny. Controlling your character is a chore as most of the time it feels like you're walking through fucking molasses, hit detection is all over the place, and the game's AI  is a joke. Not to mention the stage design doesn't help matters. So many times I lose track of where the fuck I'm supposed to go because everything either looks the same, or because there's no real clear distinction of where the fuck I'm supposed to go. Half of that is due to the blandness of the game's environments, while the other half is just due to shoddy game design. Oh well, at least the game has fluid graphics and the sound design isn't bad. Well, mostly that is.

So yeah, if you like the Dead Island franchise, Escape Dead Island may be worth your time just because it's a spinoff of the series. Other than that though, there's damn little here to recommend for anyone else. If you've ever wanted to play a shittier version of Ninja Gaiden with zombies, then I guess give this a look. For the rest of you, leave this game on the shelf. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drown my sorrows away with bottom shelf liquor.


Posted by Nick Durham in GAME REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW: Dead Snow (2009)

MOVIE REVIEW: Dead Snow (2009)


By : John Roisland


In 2009 the snow covered mountains of Norway were invaded by Nazis. Flesh eating Nazis, and did I happen to mention that they are also dead?

Writer/ director Tony Wirkola who also brought us Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead, Hansel + Gretel: Witchhunters (written by),  brings you one of my most loved in the zombie film genre, DEAD SNOW.


A passer by  warns them of evil things in the area, of course  our group pays them no mind until they discover a box containing old  gold jewelry and golden coins. Then, things get fun.

Seems the new treasure was once a buried treasure that belonged to , ... you guessed it, NAZIS!!! Now they are rising from the snow covered earth to reclaim what is theirs got it, NAZI ZOMBIES!!! Seems during WW II, the Nazis would bury their new found treasures during the war in the hills. Seems like I smart thing to do, after all, who's going to find it...other than a group of now drunk friends on a weekend outing.

Let me tell you what, I am in way shape or form trying to sound like I am supporting the SS, but damn, those outfits were awesome!!!

The films is a horror comedy, and a great job they did covering both ends! There's enough blood spraying to make a thousand vampires drool. And the best way to explain the comedy aspect of it is to compare it to the likings of Evil Dead meets Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. And it works!

The film stars, Vegar Hoel (Dead Snow 2, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters), Stig Frode Henriksen (Dead Snow 2, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters), Charlotte Frogner (Dead Snow 2), Evy Kasseth Rosten (Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Max Manus), Jenny Skavlan (Body Troopers) and was released by Euforia Film and Barrents Film AS.

Sadly enough when the film hit the states, it bombed, bad! It only grossed 41k. The film has however turned into a bit of a cult horror classic, and seems to be gathering more fans all the time!

The film to me is a pure fun time, and posses some truly classic scenes. How could you not get into a film where a guy hangs off a cliff holding on to dear life, a zombies intestines .

This and its sequel Dead Snow 2 : Red vs Dead are both currently on Netflix, so if you haven't, must!!


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Posted by John Roisland in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 1 comment
MOVIE REVIEW: Tales of Poe (2014)

MOVIE REVIEW: Tales of Poe (2014)

By: Stephanie Roisland


Tales of Poe 2014

Directed by: Bart Mastronardi of MastroPiece Productions and Alan Rowe Kelly of SouthPaw Pictures

Produced by: Nicole Alexis, Robert Kuiper, Bart Mastronardi and Alan Rowe Kelly

Associate Production by: Amy Lynn Best, Mike Watt and Marcus A. DeCosta

Screenplay by: Bart Mastronardi, Alan Rowe Kelly and Michael Varrati

Music and sound design by: Tom Burns/ Really Horrible Music

Including a cast of: Adrienne King, Amy Steel, Caroline Williams, Randy Jones, Lesleh Donaldson, Desiree Gould, Alan Rowe Kelly, Debbie Rochon and Bette Cassatt


I was personally looking forward to reviewing this film, as an Edgar Allen Poe fan myself, this was intriguing and anticipated.  The ambitious and twisted portrayal of these writings was a refreshing approach to these horror classics.

Over a great many years, Poe has spoken to the world of love, death and the struggles life pans out for those in the grasps of a dark cloud. We each in our minds have built a story, where the characters come alive, we tend to think towards the obvious and literal terms in which he writes. What if we didn't, what if we really analyzed the depth of his words and the embraced the darkness in his heart.  That's what Tales of Poe has done, made a film and characters to match the emotions spoken in his works. The characters reach out and grab you in this beautifully made reenactment of the dark and macabre.


The Tell Tale Heart was amazingly preformed, a few of those actors being Desiree Gould, Adrienne King and Alan Rowe Kelly. Nurse Malliard was a sinister bitch with a true power trip, while the real murderous and scary presence was the quiet Private Nurse. I loved the feel of this segment of the film. Miss Lamarr was a terrorizing sight and that bell! I don't think ever in my life I will forget the sound of those repetitive chimes and the overwhelming echo they unleashed. The ending of this amused me to no other, I really enjoyed the bloody finish.


The Cask was an abrupt entrance into a story that had been building for years. A celebration to a future, one thinks its forever, and the others' plan differs just a bit. This story has one twist and then another, never think at any time you have the upper hand because a set of stairs and some cement can fix that uneven karma real quick. I really enjoyed the setting of this and the underground catacombs were super creepy. The cast included Brewster McCall, Alan Rowe Kelly and Randy Jones. Mr. Kelly played Gogo Montresor and I must say did it brilliantly. His presence is exuberant and had me captivated from the first word spoken. I love how he takes center stage and holds your attention till the end.


The last and final segment of this brilliant production is Dreams.  Supported by a cast composed of Brewster McCall, Caroline Williams, Adrienne King, Amy Steel and Bette Cassatt as" the Dreamer". This was a horrifying and yet gorgeously dark look into the world of dreams. The tapping of the umbrella foot sounds of a grandfather clock pendulum and Caroline Williams owned the Angel of Dreams character. Though she was good and had a sense of calming in her presence, the horror and murderous blood scenes were a nice treat. Some sad but some a little amusing and confusing all in one, exactly the way you feel in a vivid dream. Bette Cassatt was a wonderful addition to the feel of the film, her character was made for her. She has this delicate essence to her and she nailed it in my opinion.  The makeup in this film was dark but exuberant , some bloody and gruesome and others creepy and sinister. They all carried an Alice in Wonderland feel, which was a pleasant surprise in a silent film. The narration in the middle and towards the end was a welcomed treat but not needed to understand what was happening.

Tales of Poe is a great addition to the horror community and is welcomed by me. It has been screening at various film festivals across the United States and Canada including New York Horror Film Fest, LA Horror Fest and H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival. The film has received 16 awards and continuing press since its release and Alan Rowe Kelly has stating that they are "courting distributors for the right home".  Please checkout the trailer posted above or the website

Posted by Stephanie Roisland in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW: The Children (2008)

MOVIE REVIEW: The Children (2008)

By Amy Mead

The Children poster

The Children

Directed by Tom Shankland

Starring Eva Birthistle, Stephen Campbell Moore, Hannah Tointon and Jeremy Sheffield


2008 Ghost House Underground film, The Children focuses on two sisters and their respective families who gather together to celebrate the Christmas holiday. The celebration starts out as a typical and idyllic family gathering, complete with laughter, screaming kids and  an angsty teenage girl who would rather be anywhere but there. The pleasant atmosphere quickly turns into a living nightmare for the parents when all the children start exhibiting signs of some sort of sickness. Something which they had earlier dismissed as car sickness begins afflicting all of the kids and they all have the same symptoms which culminates in some very erratic behavior. 

The kids all begin vomiting up some seriously nasty looking goo and before you know it, they all become infected with some sort of strange virus/murderous rage and turn on their parents without much provocation, and seemingly with glee. Before the parents involved can completely grasp the full scope of what's happening, the kids begin killing them methodically and once they get started, they make damn quick work of it. 

The Children is a bit confusing in that we never really get any questions as to why this is all happening really answered. What triggered this whole thing? Why the hell is this happening? And why are only children affected? We are given a few hints but they come so early on in the film that we don't realize we need to be looking for them. And Unfortunately the few hints there are, really don't clear much up for the audience. 

The film is well acted, extremely well shot and it is filled with plenty of shock value. Fortunately, the violence against the children is never overplayed or drawn out, the kill scenes are blessedly short and thankfully, not exceedingly graphic, thereby making it much easier to watch. Although the scenes are still quite gut wrenching to witness and they give off a general feeling of unease and discomfort.

Anything involving violence towards small children usually makes me more than a little squeamish and I normally find it really hard to watch it, if I can at all. The way Shankland shoots the scenes make them much easier to digest, but it doesn't change the creep out factor by any means. The fact that these kids are just going wildly homicidal on their own parents and people they once loved, from out of nowhere was/is profoundly disturbing and Shankland doesn't shield us from that aspect of the story at all. If you're a parent, you'll totally understand where I'm coming from. 

As far as killer kid films go, The Children stands tall and is definitely worth a one time viewing and who knows? Maybe you'll even end up making it a part of your holiday horror traditions like I have in my house. 




Posted by Amy Mead in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW: Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby (2013)

MOVIE REVIEW: Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby (2013)

By Amy Mead

Coffin Baby

Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby

Directed by Dean Jones

Starring Chauntal Lewis, Bruce Dern, Brian Krause and Chris Doyle


After the body of her murdered sister is discovered and the crime, as well as countless others, continue to go unsolved, our main character Samantha is abducted, held captive, tortured and branded for no apparent reason other than the antagonist is a twisted psycho.

After being forced to not only sleep with corpses but consume them, she slowly begins to lose what fragile hold on sanity she has retained after her sister's tragic and senseless murder. 

It seems that Coffin Baby is at it once again.  And unfortunately, and that's where any similarity to its 2004 predecessor, Toolbox Murders ends. 

I have no idea what the hell it was I just watched. I went in thinking that Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby would be a continuation of the story that we were given with the 2004 remake of 1978's The Toolbox Murders. I was wrong. Seriously wrong. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to anything that was happening and there was zero character introduction to be had, so when awful things started happening to victim Samantha, I genuinely could have cared less what was happening to her, let alone feel any sort of sympathy for her.

The film rolled and with each minute, I became more and more annoyed by the character and her incessant (and unconvincing) screams and pleas for help and I cared even less what happened to her. I actually wanted her to die. Violently. And as soon as possible. 

I  watch a lot of indie productions and as far and cinematography, lighting and sound go, this was some of the worst I have ever seen. And I've seen my fair share of terrible movies, believe me but this one in addition to all its other shortcomings also barely has a plot. 

Unfortunately, for the most part, the acting was even worse. Chauntal Lewis' portrayal of Samantha was completely unconvincing and not believable in the least. Instead of commiserating with our victim, I wanted to slap her in the face with a hammer and kill her myself.  Sadly, veteran actor Bruce Dern is the only real talent in this film. 

Aside from what are some pretty good practical effects, the only other thing I liked about Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby was that it ended.

Having been a fan of the 2004 remake, I  had been looking forward to it since I first heard about it a while back,  but for me personally, it was probably the biggest disappointment of 2015. It was an utterly pointless, confusing and uneventful yawnfest. I almost fell asleep twice while watching it. 

I'm pretty sure knowing in advance that it was pretty much a sequel in name only and had nothing much to do with the previous story line (other than Coffin Baby once again being the perpetrator), wouldn't have made me hate the film any less. Although, I may have avoided it altogether.

By the time the credits rolled I wanted both my time and my rental fee back. Unless wasting your time and money is what you're into, I suggest you avoid this piece of cinematic garbage like the plague. I wish I had. 

I give Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby 4/10 

Posted by Amy Mead in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
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