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INTERVIEW: Writer/Director Jared Cohn

INTERVIEW: Writer/Director Jared Cohn

Where we talk Dead AfterLife, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Serial Killers, and Mental Fitness

Jared Cohn We're All Animals - chilling / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

Horrormadam here, guys, and I had the privilege of interviewing actor/director Jared Cohn. Best known for 13/13/13, Hulk Blood Tapes, and Feed the Devil for acting and Hold Your Breath, The Horde (which got a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes), and Little Dead Rotting Hood for his directing.
For those who do not know yet, Dead AfterLife is a currently in development film written by Michael Joy. And Michael knows horror, he is the CEO of Marketing Macabre, CEO of Joyhorror Entertainment, Director of Marketing for Artsploitation Films (that just released Red Christmas starring Dee Wallace), and Operations Manager for Horrornews.net. I am really looking forward to Dead Afterlife because of its unique and interesting premise. Imagine watching your own funeral as a ghost and then the unthinkable happens, your undead body climbs out of your coffin and starts killing and eating your friends and family. Pharmaceutical Scientist, Donald Conlee faces this conundrum after he’s murdered and is administered his own “Awake”, super drug. His death was only the beginning of his problems. The Gatekeeper has given Donald a time limit to return his Zombie-self to the ground, or else his soul can never gain entrance into Heaven. To complicate matters, he finds out that his murderer is at the funeral and his girlfriend is in grave danger. How can a couple of disgruntled gravediggers and a hearse driver help Donald’s lost soul find the way? Or maybe the real question is how can the spirit world defeat the living dead?

Jared Cohn on Stepmother / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

House of Tortured Souls: Is that an amazing premise or what? I asked Director Jared Cohn about this budding horror film.
Jared Cohn: I am a big fan of Michael Joy and looking forward to working with him, he is plugged into the horror community. Look this is a really cool story we got ghosts vs zombies, we got amazing talent on board to act in this. This project is gonna be a bad ass horror movie, straight up. It’s ghosts and zombies fighting each other, it’s gore there’s lots of blood, there is death and a funeral, it can’t lose.

Jared Cohn working on set / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

And Jared wasn’t kidding about the amazing talent. They just signed on Dee Wallace (Cujo, The Howling), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Bill Moseley (The Devils Rejects, House of 1000 Corpses), Kane Hodder (Victor Crowley in Hatchet, and Jason Voorhees from some of the Friday the 13th films), Bill Oberst Jr. (Scream Queens, Priest), David Gere (Bleed For This), Andy Gates (Garden Party Massacre), David Vescio (Hick), Mindy Robinson (Lizzie Borden’s Revenge), WWE wrestling star Diamond Dallas Page( Devil’s Rejects), And first timer professional wrestling legend,The Universal Heartthrob, Austin Idol.
Jared Cohn with William Shatner / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

Jared Cohn with William Shatner

HoTS: I was really excited about the prospect of seeing ghosts fighting the living dead on film and asked Jared about that.
JC: I am a fan of practical effects and I would also love to incorporate some CGI to enhance the ghosts visually. Really want to do something cool and a little different if we really want it to be scary and to pay homage to some of the great classics. That would go a long way towards making it look cool, make it look good. But in order to do that, you have to rely on the resources that are available. Which some could consider a cop out answer but it’s true. I would love someone like Vincent Guastini (Under The Bed, Requiem For A Dream, V/H/S Viral, and The Dark Tapes), he does creature suits, ghosts, zombies, makeup. To get someone like him on board would be amazing, but he is not cheap. But he would make amazing looking ghosts and zombies, those are the kind of things you need obviously if you want that big budget look, you need those premium people. We are still waiting on the financing to go through though but it is getting a lot of press so it is just a hurry up and wait game, but I am extremely excited to get going.

Jared Cohn sunlight / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

HoTS: I then had to ask Jared about a film that I saw on IMDB that he is directing that is in post-production called Street Survivors: The True Story of the Lynyrd Skynyrd Plane Crash because I am a fan of the band and found this title so intriguing.

JC: I got the movie shot, there are just some legal difficulties going on. Kind of waiting until March to see whats going on with that one. I’m very proud of that movie so I am really hoping it can see the light of day. It happened because of Cleopatra Entertainment, I love those guys. They gave me great opportunities to make movies, big fan of that company. I am going to be doing some music videos for them that I am very excited about. I used to do a lot of music videos back in the day in New York. I like getting back to my roots. I used to do more cinematography, stunts, editing, and camera work and lately I have been focusing on acting and directing but it is so great to go back and relearn everything and expand.

Jared Cohn on set / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

When researching the film, I found that Jared wrote the film from a story by Skynyrd drummer Artimus Pyle. It depicts the band’s tragic history centering on Pyle and his experiences of the events surrounding the chartered-plane crash on October 20, 1977, that killed original band members Ronnie Van Zant, Steve Gaines, and backing vocalist Cassie Gaines, Steve’s sister. An assistant road manager and the two pilots also died in the crash after the plane ran out of fuel over Mississippi after the final show of the Street Survivors tour. Ian Shultis, Taylor Clift, Samuel Kay Forrest and Rich Dally III have been cast in the film and the legal battle continues.
HoTS: Next, I asked Jared about his film Death Pool starring Sara Malakul Lane (Jailbait, Kickboxer Vengeance), Randy Wayne (Hellraiser Judgement, Hold Your Breath), James Cullen Bressack (Bethany), and Shawn C. Phillips (WTF!, Cannibal Cop). I just loved how this film dealt with the whole cult of personality. The premise is this:
Johnny Taylor has a big problem: he LOVES to drown good-looking girls. When he sees water and attractive females together, something in his head begs him to kill – the psychological result of a traumatic near-drowning during his childhood at the hands of a twisted babysitter. Fighting the urge to act on his sinister thoughts most of his adult life, Johnny finally succumbs to his dark instincts when the only work he can find is around water, cleaning pools. Filled with colorful characters, beautiful women and set against the backdrop of the LA party scene, Death Pool encapsulates the desire for fame, the lust for desire, and the urge to kill.

JC: I think that was one of the more interesting movies that I have made, it had a message. Social media, fame, the upsides and the downsides, and the reactions of people to someone who is killing people. There are a lot of serial killer groupies. It’s nutty, but in a weird way it is understandable also. There are many people out there that are contemplating killing someone, not that they go out and do it but it’s the idea. To analyze the psyche behind those people who do these things, those that find that extreme violence is their only outlet is interesting.
Jared Cohn on set with William Shatner / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

Jared Cohn on set with William Shatner

HoTS: I also asked him about who his directing influences might be.
JC: I think that Alejandro Inarritu (Amores Perros, Birdman, The Revenant) and Damian Chazelle (La La Land, Whiplash) have really great style. There are so many great and talented people out there.
HoTS: We then talked about what he is doing for 2018:
JC: I am keeping positive, focusing on mental health, and spirituality. You can be the busiest and most successful person in the world, but if you are not feeling great mentally, physically, and spiritually, you cant get your best work done. So I am trying to raise awareness, you know, help people who feel like they could use a boost in life. I would like to give back rather than just make movies. I would like to help people. Many people are suffering quietly, and I want them to know that they are not alone. If I can do something in that regard, it makes me feel better. Not that this is about me, I just want to give back. I’ve made some mistakes. I have some regrets, so I understand the challenges. It is good to talk about, doing interviews, and talking about various movies and being able to bring awareness to the problem of people’s mental health.
Lastly but cool as hell is the fact that Jared became a licensed FAA 107 certified drone remote pilot for taking absolutely stunning aerial shots for filmmaking and commercial use. Check out Drone-Shots.net to find out what’s available. He is also a Pro-paintballer and a black belt in Shaolin Kempo Karate.

Jared Cohn with drone / Image: Jared Cohn - Instagram

Please check out more on him at:



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INTERVIEW: Clarissa Jacobson of Lunch Ladies (2017)

INTERVIEW: Clarissa Jacobson of Lunch Ladies (2017)

Short, Comedy, Horror:
Interview With Clarissa Jacobson

Hello everyone, this is the Horrormadam here with the second in my series celebrating the Gifted Heroines of Horror and Women In Film. I was honored to interview the brilliant Clarissa Jacobson on her new short film Lunch Ladies which she wrote and produced. To say I enjoyed this short would be a gross understatement, I loved it! So well written, so well acted, so well directed. The only thing I want out of it…is more! But before we get into that, a quick tease to wet your appetites!

Now that your interest is piqued, let me tell you the extraordinary premise in Clarissa’s own words.

Clarissa: For the past twenty years, obsessed Johnny Depp fans and fraternal twin sisters, Seretta and LouAnne Burr, have shared a miserable existence as high school lunch ladies serving up rubbery chicken parts, ammonia-treated government meat and whatever else the cash-strapped national lunch program sends their way. This year is going to be different: The twin’s Cheesy Burger Bites recipe is the Grand Prize Winner of Johnny Depp’s Cook for Kid’s Charity Event. Convinced this is their ticket out of high school hell town and that “The Depper” will hire them to be his very own Personal Chefs, their dreams are shattered after a snotty head cheerleader pushes them one step too far. This forces the Lunch Ladies to ask themselves – WWJD? What would Johnny do?

Bet you didn’t see that coming, did you? To all of those naysayers out there that say there are no new ideas, I say that you aren’t thinking outside the box. Clarissa’s clever story is outside the box, maybe even outside of leftfield and that is what makes it so surprising and refreshing.

Let’s see what else Clarissa had to say about Lunch Ladies and filmmaking:

Clarissa: When we first started out it was a bit disheartening, the first director said that no one would want to see this movie because no one wants to see two middle-aged female leads. Clarissa and I discussed this for a little while, especially how one of the nice things about the horror genre, is that horror does not discriminate. Young, old, beautiful, different looking, black, white, gay straight-in horror films we embrace them all.

Clarissa went on to discuss people thoughts on her influences:

Clarissa: I have heard John Waters (Serial Mom, Cecil B. Demented, Hairspray), John Hughes (The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Home Alone), and Tim Burton (Edward Scissorhands, Corpse Bride) and I grew up on them and I love them. They’re saying that and its funny how it just seeps in and it is the biggest compliment.
Clarissa: This was my first time producing a movie and I had so much luck drawing the right people to me. The first set designer we had dropped out like one week before shooting and I was like don’t worry about it, just go with the flow. Then brought in this husband and wife couple, Ray and Alicia Ho that were one hundred times better. What happened is I just totally stepped out of the way and the most amazing people helped me and worked on it. They were all at the top of their game and everybody brought what they brought, everyone did their job and when we finished it was everything that I wanted. Exactly what I imagined in my head, even better.

I said to her how amazing that was that she was able to get what she wrote, everything that was in her head to fruition.

Clarissa: It really was magical. My writing mentor, he was a tap dancer on Broadway when he was younger. He came on as a producer also and he did the dancing scene in the cafeteria. What I had written was rhythmic and he said he had this crazy idea, how about we do a mash-up? We will have ballet dancers, hip-hop dancers, and tap dancers and I was like Joe, I have no idea what is inside your head but you are the most talented person I know so do what you want.

I was also honored to speak to Joe, who turns out to be Joe Bratcher who has been acting since 1976 in some really great shows like All In The Family, Laverne & Shirley, and The Rockford Files, and in films like The Howling and Coma. He also runs The Twin Bridges Screenwriting Salon, the longest running screenwriting classes in Los Angeles. He told me how hard Clarissa had been working and how much he loved working with her and what a great person she is. He also backed up the story Clarissa had just told me by saying that she really went to bat for him with the director. She really wanted him to create his vision for the cafeteria scene because she knew it would work.

Clarissa: The director was awesome, but that’s how everybody was, they all brought really creative shit to it. The director J.M. Logan is an award-winning filmmaker and who has filled nearly every position in the business over twenty-five years. Out of hundreds, credits include Kidnap, Manson Family Vacation, The Circle, The End Of The Tour, Stoker & Annabelle. He said his goal is to be as close to the script as possible. At one point he was like there is this scene at the beginning, it was gonna be expensive to do and I was concerned what might happen, it might not work. I was like you know we can just cut that and we can just do the scene in front of the school than we don’t need to get a car. And Josh was like NO! That is whats written in the script and that’s what we’re gonna do. And the car scene I mean the car scene is so great for starting out the movie, he was so adamant, he and everybody came up with great ideas, like the whole concept with the Russian posters, so inventive I just loved it.
Clarissa: I also had a hard time finding a location. I called like a hundred schools. This one place is like we read the script and we’ll never let you film your movie here! They acted like I had written a porn! But I wanted a John Hughes type of school kind of upper-class. Josh the director had a friend that was like call these two Catholic schools and I was freaking out because I couldn’t find a location. So I called these two schools and they both said I could film there. The only thing was that they had really big kitchens and we needed it to look run down so we just filled it with all this stuff. And then Josh had the idea to use these eastern block like posters which along with the lunch trays were the only real punches of color. We filmed over two weekends, four days with twenty thousand dollars. It was really great and everyone was really fun but the last day was the hardest, we didn’t get out of there till four a.m. We had one hundred and thirty people working on it and everyone is coming back to do the feature which is already written.

I asked her then, it is winning so many awards you would think someone would just jump on it? Atlanta Horror Film Festival 2017 (winner: Best writer/producer and Best Director), Nightmares Film Festival 2017 (best writer/producer, director), and the South African Horrorfest 2017 (Best writer/producer and director).

Clarissa: Well its still new so a lot could happen in the next couple of months. We started our run in August which went great and we had nothing in September, but we had a lot in October because it is Halloween. So we have only been on the film festival route for about four months and it goes on for a year and a half. The majority of competitions and stuff aren’t until next year. So we are just working our asses off to get it noticed. And I definitely want to give a shout out to the horror community. I LOVE the horror community, they are my kind of people! I didn’t start out writing horror, I thought it was a comedy. When I saw it on the screen I couldn’t believe that came out of my head! All I could think was, where did that come from and what was wrong with me? I have always been a closet horror fan, I love The Exorcist, Let The Right One In and The Shining. One time I was writing a Gothic horror story and as I went dark, I realized the dark side is the most creative place to be. In it, you can do anything.


I want to thank Clarissa Jacobson again for taking the time to talk to me at the
House of Tortured Souls and also thank her for writing such a unique horror/comedy short. I cannot recommend it to you highly enough readers. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but I know that you will not be disappointed when you see it. All I am waiting for now is the full-length feature to be made so I can enjoy the further escapades of the Lunch Ladies! And from now on I may even find myself asking as I go through life…WWJD?

Clarissa also wanted to say a big thank you to Fire The Animal who wrote and performed the song Bury My Body, courtesy of Couch Guys Records and Antoni M. March who did the score.

And, like I said before, I don’t want to give any spoilers but some fun trivia: Lunch Ladies used 10 gallons of blood, 10 gallons of slime/goo, 15 gallons of “food,” 40 pounds of potatoes (200 pounds brought to set) and 13 pounds of ground meat. And Clarissa told me the meat had been left out and smelled like hell and they had to have the school back together for when the kids came in on Monday and she had to Febreeze everything to death (pun intended).

Before I send you on to the link so you can check out some more fun information on the Lunch Ladies I wanted to tell you the name of said ladies who are more Gifted Heroines of Horror. Donna Pieroni at Seretta and Mary Manofsky as LouAnne. These women were so wonderful and entertaining, so looking forward to much more from them!

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INTERVIEW: Brooke Lewis (2017)

INTERVIEW: Brooke Lewis (2017)

Brooke Lewis / Photo credit: Roger A. Scheck

Photo credit: Roger A. Scheck

One of the Hardest Working Women in the Business

-Scream Queen, Amazing Actress, Author-

Hello readers, and thank you for joining me on another part of my series on celebrating the Gifted Heroines of Horror and Women in Film! I had the honor, joy, and just great time interviewing the most wondrous Scream Queen Brooke Lewis. When I say she is hardworking, I feel that I may be using that phrase inadequately. She is an actress, scream queen, Certified Life Coach and Dating Coach, Author, singer, producer, columnist, voice-over artist, has her own talk show/ web series, a clothing line, upcoming make-up line, and is also a hugely altruistic philanthropist. She makes me tired just thinking about it. One of my favorite things about her that we talked about is that she has a wonderful distinction in horror in that she has never been killed in a  horror film…yet.
Brooke is an award-winning actress who has starred in such films as the thriller iMurders (2008) with Gabrielle Anwar, William Forsythe, Tony Todd, Frank Grillo, Billy Dee Williams, and the amazing Charles Durning. Sinatra Club (2010) with Jason Gedrick, Danny Nucci, and Michael Nouri. And one of my new favorite shorts Sprinkles (2010).
House of Tortured Souls: Knowing she’s acted along such greats I asked her what some of those experiences were like I was especially interested in her work with Charles Durning known for being the King of Character Actors.
Brooke Lewis: You know I did five films with god rest his soul Charles Durning, yes I used to dine with the man. Adults really get it, Oscar-nominated for Dog Day Afternoon, When a Stranger Calls, TootsieCharles Durning. I mean are you kidding me? I have worked with Michael Pare: Eddie and the Cruisers, Streets of Fire, and The Philadelphia Experiment, he’s my friend. The legendary Billy Dee Williams: Mahogany, Star Wars: Episode V-The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi. I am not sure if the younger generation understands the magnitude of that. When I was a young girl, I was in high school and I was obsessed with Candyman and then I found out I was going to be starring next to Tony Todd, someone has got to be kidding me! I was so scared to be going on set but he is so great! The celebrity and fame have never changed him, he has done so much acting, even on Broadway. Tony is really more than meets the eye. Its crazy, I have gotten to work with both Costas and Loius Mandylor. Saw for Costas and My Big Fat Greek Wedding” for Louis.The thing is that they are just brilliant actors. One of my dearest kindred spirits is The Hills Have EyesSuze Lanier-Bramlett. She is like my soul sister. She was Bambi on Welcome Back Kotter, you know Barbarino’s girlfriend. We sit and talk about yesteryears, her life as an actress, being young and in Hollywood vs my experience and it is so scary. I don’t know if the younger generation of moviegoers will be able to distinguish between real stars of that era vs Youtube sensations with no real acting chops.You cant just get together with a few friends and spill ketchup on your boobs film it on your phone, dub yourself a Scream Queen and call it horror. Horror fans are way too intelligent for that. To know and understand the careers of people like Charles Durning or Billy Dee Williams or Margaret Colin and Larry Hankin from Home Alone may be out of their purview.
HoTS: I next asked Brooke about being a woman in horror and being a Scream Queen.

Brooke Lewis Brooke Lewis Brooke Lewis
BL: I embrace being a Scream Queen. I earned it! I am very proud to be on any lists where the greats like Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau, and Dee Wallace along with the newer generation like my girls Felissa Rose and Debbie Rochon and the list goes on and on. As far as acting in horror, anything I have done in the horror genre is by choice. I am committed to a certain standard. People come up to me and are like but you did a film like Slime City Massacre? Yes, I did and thank you very much it won me the 2010 Golden Cobb award!

HoTS: And readers that was a hot year for horror! I checked her competitors that year and they were impressive. For BEST SCREAM QUEEN:
Debbie RochonSlime City Massacre
Victoria MauretteBulletface
Kristina KlebeZone of The Dead
April Monique BurrillChainsaw Sally
Brooke LewisSlime City Massacre
BL: People can say what they want, it was an ultra-low budget sequel to the cult classic “Slime City” (1988) and I had to make a decision, a choice when I made that film. When Greg Lamberson came to me and said you are one of the new IT girl Scream Queens of 07-08, read my script and see if you want to get involved. Look at any of the roles and maybe you wanna come in and produce in some way, and we bonded right away. That man is one smart man and he is an amazing writer and a great director. If you see the movie, the undertones and the subtext is amazing it covers drug addiction, gentrification, politics, US vs Canada, abortion, and it goes on and on. There are so many smart messages underneath the campy, gory, fun stuff, that I was inspired to do it. I am so glad I did because it became one of the horror films that I am most known for. Horror embraces strong women. I am a short, curvy, voluptuous, ethnic woman, horror embraces that pin-up look which I have always been grateful for. Horror always embraces outside the norm, I am not the typical Hollywood starlet look and horror does not discriminate. Not like most movies where you have to look like a supermodel in order to get naked, in horror real people have sex.
I can only speak for myself and some of my peers, I choose to be a powerful woman in horror. I don’t just act in horror, I have done Broadway, and thrillers, and mob movies, I just wrapped an amazing dramedy called 1/2 New Year, I do it all because I am an actress but the stuff that I have chosen to do in horror and I am very proud of it. I feel like I have got to do some great stuff, made some great films with some really great people.
HoTS: I then wanted to find out about the Ms. Vampy talk show/web series, But before we get into that, let me introduce you to Ms. Vampy. Ms. Vampy is America’s funniest, sexiest, sassiest and most extraordinary board certified Life Coach and Vampiress! Her personality is as big as her hair and is often described as Betty Boop meets Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. She has two books, Ms. Vampy’s Teen Tawk and Coaching From a Professed Hot Mess. I have read them both readers and cannot recommend them highly enough. Ms. Vampy gives sage advice and does so in such a relatable and entertaining way.

BL: What do I get cast in usually in the mainstream? Hooker, stripper, because I have big boobs and big hair and I wear high heels because I am short so naturally…the hairstylist, the guidette, which I love and that’s how Ms. Vampy was born. I looked at the body of my biggest work and at that point in time, ten years ago it was mobster movies, it was comedy, big hair and guidette roles that I used to play like in Tony N’ Tina’s Wedding where I got my start  on Broadway which I love, then add horror to the mix. It came to me that this had never been done before and it is a lot of what my horror fans embrace about me. And I thought why not? Ms. Vampy is a Brooklyn, big-haired vampire guidette with a heart of gold. On the teen talk show, we talk about everything from the LGBTQ community, to racism, to sexism, to bullies and it was very important to me to get this done. It needs to be made and I will not stop till it is done correctly. She is from the Vamprelli crime family, killing people and drinking blood is declasse so she eats everything else that is red. So everything needs the suspension of reality because she has a heart of gold and tons of positive messages. She’s my alter-ego. She talks about everything that I have experienced in my life. Also there is the teen smash hit TV/talk show/web series Ms. Vampy’s Tween Tawk, Teen Tawk & In Between Tawk, which won the Honolulu Film Awards 2012 SILVER LEI AWARD, the coveted 18th Annual Communicator Awards (2012) AWARD OF DISTINCTION for Social Responsibility and Los Angeles Film Awards May 2017 INSPIRING WOMAN IN A FILM AWARD .

I wanted to bring to your attention readers three of her new projects. Psycho Therapy (2016) a short film was written and directed by another great woman in film and horrorStaci Layne Wilson. It has won twenty-one awards already, including awards for Brooke and her production company Philly Chick Pictures. Philadelphia is her hometown hence the name. The other is a film she already mentioned called 1/2 New Year which is in post-production so make sure to keep an eye out for it. The last was the aforementioned Sprinkles short film which has twenty-five wins also for Brooke and Philly Chick.

Brooke Lewis Brooke Lewis

Brooke also has partnered with Rock n’ Roll Lifestyle Company Metal Babe Mayhem to brand and launch their ‘Rock Your Hot Mess’, ‘Ms. Vampy’ and ‘Scream Queen Brooke Lewis’ clothing lines. She was also branded with the hypoallergenic Makeup and Skincare Company TASH Cosmetics to launch their ‘Profess Your Hot Mess’ and ‘Ms. Vampy Girl’ makeup lines. I told you this woman was busy!
As far as being a columnist she has the distinction of writing for the Huffington Post as a contributor which she started in 2012. With such great articles as “Ask the Drama Queen”, “Hollywood Darlings Let Their Light Shine With Anti-Bullying Campaign”, and “Ageism and Heterosexism in Hollywood.”
And if you were wondering about the singing she signed with Tazmania Records/Metropolitan Records and released the freestyle dance hit “Get Me Off Your Mind”. Released in 2009 and on the album Tazmania Freestyle In-motion vol. 13.
Brooke strongly believes in charity work that empowers women and young adults. She is active in several charities that support Breast Cancer and Anti-bullying and can be found feeding the Skid Row homeless at the Los Angeles Mission which I saw when she showed a few pictures at Christmas, best looking Santa’s helper out there. She is also a proud Breaking The Chains Foundation (BTCF) Celebrity Ambassador. Brooke is a proud member of Women In Film and Film Independent. She was also the Hot Hunks of Horror Hottie for 2009 and the co-captain of Dread Central’s Bowling for Boobies.
She also told me that people would say to her, with her cleavage, high heels, big hair, and makeup how did she expect to be taken seriously as an intelligent woman?And she would say to them really? She has more degrees than six of them combined. For her naysayers I will say this, she majored in rhetoric and communications, she minored in both theater and criminal justice. She was also Inducted into ‘Outstanding Filmmakers Of The Year’ at the first Hollywood Dreamz International Film Festival 2017 and for me to list all of her awards and accolades, I would need to get new hands after typing because mine would fall off!
Brooke Lewis / Photo credit: Roger A. Scheck

Photo credit: Roger A. Scheck

Brooke Lewis on the web:

So for myself, Horrormadam and everyone at the House of Tortured Souls I want to say thank you so much to Brooke Lewis and also huge congratulations on her fiancee’s proposal on September first (her birthday) 2017. Brooke is such a sweet, intelligent, and kind woman and she deserves all the best. And as she and Ms. Vampy would tell you. Be you…And be fearless and definitely Vamp It Out!
Metal Babe Mayhem: Scream Queen Brooke Lewis (SQBL)
Discount code #BROOKE16 to receive 20% OFF!
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HoTS Christmas Edition: A Christmas Carol

HoTS Christmas Edition: A Christmas Carol

Flashing colored Christmas lights
ChristmasCarolLogo / Fair use doctrine.
I have mentioned before how spooky winter was in the olden days. The last of a fallen animals body heat leaving their body, even the brief fog humans made as they breathed in the chili air had people thinking of spirits. Also, the improper storage of the last harvest caused wonderful hallucinations. They would pile up their grains and the dampness caused mildew; also, rye was often contaminated with ergots, which scientists now believe is the cause of the Salem tragedy. Charles Dickens was, of course, born quite a bit after that occurred. Still, the mists and, by that time, 'nose powder' (and the fact that Dickens was an English novelist with rock star status), helped to make A Christmas Carol as popular as it became.
Alastair Sim-A Christmas Carol (1951) / Fair use doctrine.
Charles was not only an awesome author but an incredible actor, making him the best of storytellers. He would pack the crowd when doing his book tours, Charles Dickens acting out his own words on the stage was a sight to see. A Christmas Carol was published in 1843, just a few decades after much of America started celebrating Christmas again ( The Puritans saw Christmas just as a time for the poor to wassail the rich, and also believed that Dec the 25th became the popular date to celebrate the birth of Christ to cover up the Roman holiday Saturnalia (which was a festive celebration of the God Saturn) many Christian Holidays 'occur' during the time of more 'uncivilized heathens' Holidays, so nothing new there.

Muppets-A Christmas Carol / Fair use doctrine.

Dickens was inspired to write A Christmas Carol one night after he spoke one night at a charity event for Manchester Athenaeum. He was broken hearted and worried about the outcome of the poor and ignored children. After the event, he roamed the chili, night air streets (it was October after all) and became obsessed with getting his story out in time for Christmas.

A Christmas Carol is still reenacted every year across the nation on many stages. And has been turned into a movie, not once but 49 times! From old cranky men to muppets, to animated versions of Jim Carrey!

The first being put out in 1908, Tom Ricketts was the first screen Scrooge.

ScroogeMcDuck-A Christmas Carol / Fair use doctrine.

Some of the more popular Ebenezers have been:

Alastair Sim

George C. Scott
(yep dude from The Exorcist)

Patrick Stewart

Bill Murray

Michael Caine

Jim Carrey

Flashing colored Christmas lights
I am delighted by the fact that the most popular Christmas story is filled with ghosts, hauntings, nightmares, and a vision of one's own death. Nothing better than scaring the Christmas spirit into someone. 😉

Posted by Tammie Parker in FAMILY HORROR, FEATURED CONTENT, FICTION AND POETRY, HORROR HEROES, HORROR HISTORY, PARANORMAL, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
THE DARK SIDE OF CHRISTMAS

THE DARK SIDE OF CHRISTMAS

With Christmas upon us, we venture through the veritable treasure trove of dark stories of yuletide fair. Here is a short list of 9 Christmas tales and traditions used originally to promote the darker (and in some cases oddly comical) side of the holiday period. Whilst some are purely laughable by today’s standards, others are still used to scare children into being good all around the world.
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1. KRAMPUS:

Krampus / Fair use doctrine.The most obvious on the list and easiest to recognize, KRAMPUS has gained a notoriety with horror fans through various films in recent years.
KRAMPUS is a Christmas character from Austria, who on KRAMPUS Night (December 5th) each year appears to scare and maim. Some say he is Santa Claus’ evil twin brother and, like his brother, has a duty each year to perform. Unlike his kindly brother who delivers gifts to good girls and boys, KRAMPUS has the opposite job and will beat and punish all of the naughty children.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

2. CAGANER:

The Shitter / Fair use doctrine.This odd little custom is used in Spain, Portugal, and Italy.
As usual, a nativity is set up and decorated with the expected characters on display – Jesus, Mary, Joseph, three wise men and perhaps a shepherd. However, in these three countries, you may also add a character known as CAGANER.
CAGANER is literally translated as ‘the crapper’ or ‘the shitter’, and his figurine (which traditionally depicts a man, pooping with his pants around his knees and with a pile of poop at his heels) is usually placed in the corner of a traditional nativity scene. Children are encouraged to find him, as part of their Christmas ritual. The CAGANER is not a new custom, having been around for a few hundred years. It is a bit of a shitty custom, I know, but I will admit I was intrigued by the concept of a man crapping in my nativity scene.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

3. WITCHES:

Brooms - WitchesIn Norway each year, it is perceived that WITCHES and evil spirits will ascend on the towns in search of brooms to ride on to do their evil bidding on Christmas Eve. To thwart this evil, the Norwegians will hide all brooms on Christmas Eve and fire a warning shot outdoors with a shotgun.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

4. FRAU PERCHTA:

Frau Perchta / Fair use doctrine.Continuing on with our witch folklore, FRAU PERCHTA is another occult Christmas legend from Austria and Germany. It is known that FRAU PERCHTA visits children through the 12 days of Christmas, from December 25th until January 6th. She is seen as both good and bad.
Thought to have descended from an Alpine goddess of nature, FRAU PERCHTA will reward good children.
However, she is very well known for her gruesome punishments for the bad, including one fearful tale of ripping out internal organs and replacing them with garbage.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

5. HANS TRAPP:

Hans Trapp / Fair use doctrine.In certain regions of France, the tales of HANS TRAPP circulate as an anti-Santa.
Dressed like a raggedy scarecrow when he visits, HANS TRAPP was a wealthy man who worshiped Satan and became greedy and evil.
The stories say that HANS TRAPP was about to eat a small boy when he was punished by God and struck by lightning, killing him instantly. However, his dark soul still returns to scare children (looking like a scarecrow) each Christmas, as a reminder that they still have time to be good.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

6. PERE FOUETTARD:

Pere / Fair use doctrine.PERE FOUETTARD was an evil French butcher who many still fear today.
Said to be a ghoul whose name translates as ‘Father Whipper’, PERE FOUETTARD lured children to their deaths whipping and cutting them (primarily by slicing their throats).
A gruesome tale of 3 young boys he led into his butcher’s shop, was the one that cemented his fate as a part of Christmas’ evil side.
It was there that he murdered them, chopped them up and salted the remains.
St. Nicholas came to the boys’ aid and resurrected them, before enslaving PERE FOUETTARD as his dispenser of punishment, by whipping them naturally.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

7. WEREWOLVES:

Werewolf / Fair use doctrine.Yes …I said WEREWOLVES!
According to varied legends, Lycanthropy is very much included as part of some countries Christmas legends.
In The World Encyclopedia of Christmas, Olaus Magnus (a Swedish folklorist) wrote regarding werewolves gathering on Christmas night to “rage with wondrous ferocity against human beings, by attacking their homes and devouring the inhabitants”.
This was supposedly in Prussia, Livonia, and Lithuania.
However, that is not all of the Christmas-werewolf connection.
In modern times, it has since been reduced to merely being born on Christmas Day is cause enough to believe that person will become a werewolf.
It is seen that being born on December 25th is mocking Jesus Christ and so you must be punished.
Sorry to all you December 25th born children, perhaps steer “clear of the moors”?
Flashing colored Christmas lights

8. GRYLA:

Gryla / Fair use doctrine.GRYLA is an Icelandic legend of a woman with 13 sons (known as the YULE LADS) and her cat Jólakötturinn (see story available on this page about the YULE CAT).
In Iceland, it is customary to receive a gift of new clothes to wear on Christmas Eve. Usually, good workers receive clothes as a gift from employers, and children from their parents.
For those children considered naughty, who do not receive new clothes in time for the festive season, GRYLA comes out from her home and seeks them out -to devour them.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

9. THE YULE LADS:

Like their mother GRYLA, THE YULE LADS were not at all nice to encounter during the holidays. Tales of their numbers vary from five to thirteen, and their antics range from mere pranks to acts of cannibalism.
Either way, these ‘lads’ were to be feared and were usually seen as henchmen for their mother.
In more recent years each of their 13 characters has evolved (since a poem published in 1932 by Jóhannes úr Kötlum) and THE YULE LADS have been seen as more impish, mischievous and less aggressive. In fact with recent toys, stamps and images available they appear more like the seven dwarves than evildoers.

Posted by Michelle MIDI Sayles in FEATURED CONTENT, MONSTERS AND CREATURES, MYTHS AND LEGENDS, SATANIC/DEMONIC, STAFF PICKS, WEREWOLVES, 0 comments
Last Minute Christmas Shopping, Oh the Horror

Last Minute Christmas Shopping, Oh the Horror

DancingSantaSkullI would not dream of starting the list without our very own merch at TeePublic. You can get any of the designs below on everything from throw pillows to tapestries.

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Here are some good ones from Funko Pop: Annabelle; Jason, Freddy, and Sam; and Krampus!

Funko Pop - Annabelle

Here’s the lovely Annabelle.

Funko Pop - Freddy, Jason, Sam

How about a trio of Halloween classics – Mini Freddy, Jason, and Sam.

Funko Pop - Krampus

And what good would a Christmas be without Krampus?

Christmas ribbon and bells with holly divider

How about getting your loved one a sweater for Christmas? 😉 You can pick up a Krueger sweater on Amazon.
Amazon - Freddy Krueger sweater
And are gloves on your list? You can pick up a Krueger glove on Amazon. But why stop at one?
Amazon - Freddy Krueger's glove
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House of Tortured Souls – Artists of the Month
Many of our previous Artists of the Month have special sales going on.

Check out this tee from Don England. He has many other T-Shirts on sale for only $10.95! They go up to a size 3x.

Maxwell Blackheart has many original pieces for sale on his Etsy page. Check this one out.
Max Blackheart - Christopher Lee Frankenstein

RF Pangborn has this lovely original (framed) on sale for $125. Such a charming piece. 🙂

Christmas ribbon and bells with holly divider

More Amazon
Amazon has an awesome section of horror movie collectibles. Check them all out!
Overlook hotel keyAmazon - Kill Time Coloring Book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And for fans of The Walking Dead, Amazon has some awesome collectibles.
Amazon - The Walking Dead calendar
American Horror Story fans will love the selection of AHS merchandise on Amazon.
Amazon - American Horror Story Graphic
Christmas ribbon and bells with holly divider

Don’t have Amazon Prime and don’t want to pay that shipping fee? How about Walmart. 😀 Select shipping to store so you don’t pay shipping.
Walmart - Mystery Mini Horror Classics Series 3
Christmas ribbon and bells with holly divider
Gamestop
How about Friday the 13th for XBox One? 😀
Gamestop - Friday the 13th Xbox
Or BioShock The Collection? 😀
Gamestop - Bioshock collection
Christmas ribbon and bells with holly divider
Etsy
Or how about a completely unique approach to showcasing your love for horror? The couple behind EclecticGoodsVa paints sneakers (and totes, hats, anything that sits still long enough).
EclecticGoodsVa-Pennywise shoe
Christmas ribbon and bells with holly divider
I hope I helped someone, I know how ‘frightening’ Christmas shopping can be. Don’t forget to connect with us on social media.
Like House of Tortured Souls on Facebook
Follow @HOTorturedSouls on Twitter
Subscribe to House of Tortured Soulson YouTube
Christmas tree of stars color changing

Posted by Tammie Parker in ART AND VENDORS, EVENTS, FEATURED CONTENT, FRIENDS OF THE HOUSE, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
House of Tortured Souls Gear for the Holidays – And Year Round

House of Tortured Souls Gear for the Holidays – And Year Round

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AVAILABLE NOW AT TEEPUBLIC

Looking for the perfect gift this holiday season just got a lot easier with House of Tortured Souls gear. You can get everything from T-shirts to tapestries to phone cases in six great House of Tortured Souls designs.
Check out the array of great items below. All designs are available on all products listed. Click on the links and head over to TeePublic to pick up your very own House of Tortured Souls gear. There's something for everyone! Don't forget to make a wish list for yourself while picking up gifts for your friends, family members, and assorted tortured souls.

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Adult Apparel

T-Shirts

Tri-Blend T-Shirt (Extra Soft) HoTS Murder in the Pumpkin Patch

Design: Murder in the Pumpkin Patch
Style: Classic T-Shirt

Tank Tops

Junior Athletic Racerback Tank Top HoTS Basic-F

Design: Basic
Style: Junior Athletic Racerback Tank Top (Female)

Hoodies

Classic Zip Hoodie HoTS The Dead Always Scream

Design: The Dead Always Scream
Style: Classic Zip Hoodie

Crewneck Sweatshirts

Female Raglan Pullover - HoTS Bloody Good Time

Design: Bloody Good Tim
Style: Female Raglan Pullover

Long Sleeve T-Shirts

Premium Long Sleeve - HoTS The Mansion

Design: The Mansion
Style: Premium Long Sleeve

Baseball T-Shirts

Baseball T-Shirt - HoTS Murder in the Pumpkin Patch

Design: Murder in the Pumpkin Patch
Style: Baseball T-Shirt

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Kids Apparel

Kids T-Shirts

Youth T-Shirt - HoTS The Mansion

Design: The Mansion
Style: Youth T-Shirt

Kids Hoodies

Youth Hoodie - HoTS Murder in the Pumpkin Patch

Design: Murder in the Pumpkin Patch
Style: Youth Hoodie

Other

Onesie - HoTS Behold the Evil

Design: Behold the Evil
Style: Onesie

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Home Goods

Wall Art

Poster - HoTS The Dead Always Scream

Design: The Dead Always Scream
Style: Poster

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Notebooks

Spiral Notebook - HoTS The Mansion

Design: The Mansion
Style: Spiral Notebook

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Mugs

Travel Mug - HoTS Bloody Good Time

Design: Bloody Good Time
Style: Travel Mug

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Pillows

  • Throw Pillow, Extra Small, 14"x14"
  • Throw Pillow, Small, 16"x16"
  • Throw Pillow, Medium, 18"x18"
  • Throw Pillow, Large, 20"x20"
  • Throw Pillow, Extra Large, 26"x26"
Pillow - HoTS The Dead Always Scream

Design: The Dead Always Scream
Style: Throw Pillow

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Totes

  • Tote Bag, Single and Double Sided, 13"x13"
  • Tote Bag, Single and Double Sided, 16"x16"
  • Tote Bag, Single and Double Sided, 18"x18"
Totes - HoTS Basic

Design: Basic
Style: Tote Bag

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Tapestries

  • Tapestry, Small, 36"x26"
  • Tapestry, Medium, 60"x51"
Tapestry - HoTS The Dead Always Scream

Design: The Dead Always Scream
Style: Tapestry

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Cases and Stickers

iPhone Cases

  • iPhone 8
  • iPhone 8 Plus
  • iPhone 7
  • iPhone 7 Plus
  • iPhone 6
  • iPhone SE
  • iPhone 5
  • iPhone 5c
iPhone 8 Case Slim - HoTS Bloody Good Time

Design: Bloody Good Time
Style: iPhone 8 Case Slim

Galaxy Cases

  • Galaxy S8
  • Galaxy S7
  • Galaxy S6
  • Galaxy S5
  • Galaxy S4
Galaxy S7 Case Slim - HoTS The Mansion

Design: The Mansion
Style: Galaxy S7 Case Slim

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Laptop Cases

  • 12” Laptop
  • 13” Laptop
  • 15” Laptop
Laptop Case - HoTS Behold the Evil

Design: Behold the Evil
Style: Laptop Case

Stickers

Sticker - HoTS Basic_3-1/2x2-7/8

Design: Basic
Style: Sticker

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House of Tortured Souls
Designs Available at TeePublic

Head on over to TeePublic and check out all the HoTS gear available. Don't see a product you want? Email us about it, and we'll see what can be done.

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Connect with House of Tortured Souls on Social Media

Like House of Tortured Souls on Facebook
Follow @HOTorturedSouls on Twitter
Subscribe to House of Tortured Soulson YouTube

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Posted by Woofer McWooferson in ART AND VENDORS, EXCLUSIVE, FEATURED CONTENT, 0 comments
Gorehound Mike’s 2017 Naughty and Nice List

Gorehound Mike’s 2017 Naughty and Nice List

Christmas time is finally upon us, and just as we put away our favorite Halloween movies, we also get out those classic yuletide classics. Or clas-sicks as the case may be. Instead of a rehash of all the countless holiday horror films, I thought I`d give you my rundown of favorite and least favorite. Or my Naughty and Nice list.

NAUGHTY

Elves (1989)

Elves (1989) / Fair use doctrine.I have oft heard of this VHS era film, and I finally decided it was high time to check it out. And seeing how I was making this list — and checking it twice — what better excuse? Elves is interesting in that it takes the horror holiday movie in a different direction than just a killer Santa, and I respect that a lot. The plot as insane as it also attempts something just a little bit more creative as well. However, sadly, the film takes itself far too seriously, and the lack of the titular elves is disappointing. Mix this with an all over the place plot, bad dialogue, and even worse acting, and you have a film you wouldn’t want to give to your worst enemy.

Silent Night (2012)

Silent Night (2012) / Fair use doctrine.Silent Night, Deadly Night (1980), if we are being totally honest with ourselves, wasn’t a stellar movie. However, I love it for its over-the-top camp and intentional tongue-in-cheek humor. For me, those are the main reasons it’s a cult classic that really deserves the love it gets from fans. Silent Night, however, is pure garbage. It lacks any of the fun, dark sense of humor that made the original a fan favorite. This time around we get a cold, joyless movie which muddles through its confused plot just to get to a kill scene. The real horror is seeing a once great actor like Malcolm McDowell reduced to this bottom of the barrel crap.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (1987)

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987) / Fair use doctrine.And speaking of Silent Night, Deadly Night, Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 is bad despite its cult infamy. “It’s Garbage Day!” Yes, Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 has some fun moments, but it recycles a huge chunk of the first film, so much so that I feel like the director of the first should be credited as co-director. Talk about lazy. After the film is done “recapping”, the rest is just lazy, cringe-worthy dialogue and a rather dull plot. Once you get past its “cult status”, it’s really just part one with a small amount of crap added to fill out its runtime.

To All a Goodnight (1980)

To All A Goodnight (1980) / Fair use doctrine. I don’t mind a good killer Santa movie, but one thing a movie shouldn’t be is dull. To All a Goodnight seems to follow the slasher pattern but forgets to inject anything original, interesting, or compelling. Despite a few good kills, the film is essentially a snooze fest and seems to get lost in its own inept plot.

NICE

Krampus (2015)

Krampus (2015) / Fair use doctrine. It’s rather fitting that I’m writing about Krampus for two reasons. One is that December 5th is Krampus day, and the second is that two years ago I saw this gem in theaters. The Krampus trend has been incredibly popular for a while now, and it was only a matter of time before someone made a movie to fill the void. Thankfully, we got Krampus, a wildly creative black horror comedy, that (surprisingly) has a heart in its dark twisted center. Many have compared it to Gremlins as it acts as both a legit horror movie with moments comedy and yet actually sneaks in a message (without being heavy-handed or sappy). I really implore anyone who hasn’t seen it to do so ASAP as it’s a really fun movie and something that has future cult classic written all over it.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) / Fair use doctrine. NAUGHTY! Of course, no holiday horror list would be complete without this trashy but fun horror gem. Silent Night, Deadly Night isn’t what you’d call a great movie; however, I love it — flaws and all. It wisely doesn’t take itself too seriously and plays up its camp status. It’s the black comedy that really keeps this from being too clichéd or too depressing. And when you’re dealing with kids in horror, it’s a good route to go. Some films have cult status that I feel isn’t really deserved, but I have to say this one truly is an enjoyable film, and it’s awesome that it is as beloved as it is.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) / Fair use doctrine. Looking for something from a different country? Look no further than Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, a highly clever film from Finland. Instead of killer Santas or little elves, Rare Exports takes a totally different spin on the holiday horror and the end result is fast-paced, creative, and (most importantly) engaging. You really invest in the characters, and the film’s childlike perspective really helps sell the fantasy and horror of the piece. I can’t say enough great things about this movie, and if you are looking for something completely different, you will not be sorry. Not a slasher, but a damn clever little movie that deserves to be more praised.

Christmas Evil (1980)

Christmas Evil (1980) / Fair use doctrine.Christmas Evil may just be my favorite on this list. It has more of a special meaning to me since the star, Brandon Maggart, gave me an exclusive quote for my book The Ultimate Guide to Strange Cinema, which follows my review of the film. For anybody who has never seen Christmas Evil, it’s not a traditional slasher like Silent Night, Deadly Night; rather, it is more psychological. To me, this makes it more disturbing and interesting – think Santa Claus meets Taxi Driver. This is not to suggest it doesn’t have any bloody moments, but the fact that they are used sparingly makes the impact all that more shocking. Anybody willing to give it a chance, Christmas Evil is a masterfully done movie and well worth checking out.

Black Christmas (1974)

Black Christmas (1974) / Fair use doctrine.The granddaddy of all slashers is often cited as Halloween (1978); however, as much as I love and respect that film, Bob Clark’s Black Christmas did it first. Black Christmas is a wonderful whodunnit slasher that really grips you from the very first frame and doesn’t let up until your nerves are shattered by the twists and turns. Its setting and tropes would be often copied, including its killer point of view, the setting of girls alone in a dorm, and the mystery surrounding the slaughter. I will even say I enjoyed the remake a lot though not as much as the classic 70s version.

That is my Naughty/Nice list -I hope you all enjoyed it, and I hope everybody has a very Horrifying Winter Holiday and a Scary New Year.

Posted by Mike Vaughn in FEATURED CONTENT, MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
Artist of the Month – December 2017: Tony Blake

Artist of the Month – December 2017: Tony Blake

I found December’s AotM because of my love for The Walking Dead once again. 🙂

And even though this was one of the most horrible occurrences on my favorite show, Steven was impressed!

One of the reasons Tony Blake’s art stands out is the fact he uses color pencils! You guys should know by now I love different. 😉

Here is his brief bio:

Tony is from Great Yarmouth in the UK. He is a full-time freelance artist and is currently studying for a degree in art. He is 41 years old. Married with three children.

Our Q&A:

House of Tortured Souls: How long have you been into horror art?
Tony Blake: Always loved horror art from a young age. First ever character I drew was Freddy from a t-shirt my dad brought me.

HoTS: Did you have a teacher or go to art school??
TB: I’m self taught.

HoTS: Who is your favorite monster?
TB: Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund).

HoTS: Do you have booths at conventions or any art galleries?
TB: I do comic cons across the UK and my art was featured in the Z-Nation exhibit at the Spokane Museum of Art.

HoTS: How old were you when you started drawing?
TB: Probably about 5. Once I went to school. It was all I could do as I had problems with reading and writing, I’m dyslexic.


HoTS: What is your favorite method, pencil, charcoal, the blood of innocents?
TB: I use Prismacolor and Faber-Castell Polychromos pencils for the last two years love them.

HoTS: Do you have a fan page? Twitter? Instagram?
TB: Yes!

antblakeart
@TonyBlake76
@tonyblakeart

HoTS: Do you do commissions?
TB: Yes always doing what the customers want.

HoTS: Are you working on something now?
TB: Currently drawing Bill Murray as Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters.

HoTS: What advice would you give anyone interested in starting this career?
TB: Best advice I can give is practice, practice, never give up and always try new styles, and if that doesn’t work sell your soul to the devil.

Throughout the month of December, Tony is selling original pieces $80! :-O #Floored!!

Posted by Tammie Parker in ART AND VENDORS, FEATURED ARTIST, FEATURED CONTENT, INTERVIEWS, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
SPOTLIGHT: Justin “Schock” Terrell

SPOTLIGHT: Justin “Schock” Terrell

It is a great honor for me to introduce next HoTS 'In the Spotlight' Artist: our own Justin Schock!
Justin has done a tremendous amount in the background for House of Tortured Souls this year, so he well deserves this title - and much more! As with many artists, his talent spills over in more than one genre. He records metal music!
Here is a brief bio of Justin "Schock" Terrell:
horror-artist-inthespotlight-justin- schock-jackolanterns-300x300
Schock was a nickname given as a stage name in the early 2000s and kind of just stuck with me all these years... I was born in 1982. I was born and grew up in Anderson, IN. I still live nearby but try to disassociate with the town. Haha! I have one kid, a daughter, who is 9 years old and acts like she's 14. Kids... I'll tell ya. Currently, my normal day job is the Loss Prevention Supervisor for Kohl's in Anderson, IN.
And now for our Q&A:
House of Tortured Souls: When did you start drawing?
Justin “Schock” Terrell: I started drawing at a young age, like stupid young. I can remember drawing at 3 years old or so.
horror-artist-inthespotlight-justin- schock-beardskull-300x300
HoTS: What was the first picture you remember doing?
Schock: When I was younger, I would draw comic strips like Garfield and Peanuts while attempting to mock the style. I then moved on around, 4 or 5 years old, drawing Spiderman and Wolverine mostly before developing my own techniques.
horror-artist-inthespotlight-justin- schock-jason-300x300
HoTS: Who inspired you when you began?
Schock: I just started drawing things always utilizing pencil only. I use to not care for markers and such. The traditional look of pencil appealed to me. I honestly can't say if I had anyone influence. There were, of course, comic books and cartoons, but I never got the names of the artists. My uncle, Mike Ball is an amazing traditional artist. I mean he doesn't use computers. He was always showing me tricks as a kid, and I admired a lot of the work he did.
HoTS: Who do you follow now?
Schock: Now that I'm older and pay attention to things, some of my favorite artists are James Rowe, Alex Ross, Nikki Bruin, and Scott Anderson. Then there is this one dude, not sure of his real name, but his store is called Electric Zombie. And Ghoulish Gary is hands down amazing, as is Jason Edmiston. Really, there are a lot of insane artists out there.
HoTS: Do you have a favorite creep?
Schock: Favorite creep...hmm well I'm always all over the monsters. It's hard to pick, ya know? Ever go shopping and you see Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein stuff everywhere, but then there's that one off Leatherface item, so you're torn? Do I pick up the traditional monster thing? Or get the slasher? I'm a horror fan, and it's just too hard to pick.
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HoTS: What is your most prized piece?
Schock: I have a couple pieces that are prized. One is a full pencil/colored pencil piece I did of Reagen from The Exorcist, and the other is a non-horror pencil drawing of ballerina legs/shoes. Both of those are amazing to me because I didn't know I could produce such work.
HoTS: Do you do art shows, comic cons, or any vendor's markets?
Schock: I have never done any of the cons or markets namely because it takes a lot of money to get started and I totally don't have that kind of loot. But, one day, I will be all over it. I have never done an art show. The art world is a cruel mistress. Fun fact about my region of the world, er, the city: I was told by an artist collective here I was not allowed to join their little club of artists because of my work being mainly horror-influenced. And I went from traditional pencil and paint to almost all exclusively digital coloring, even using Wacom pens to draw without paper. Very snobby artists here. So art shows would only happen, again, if I had the money for it, and if I was more well known.
HoTS: Are you working on something now?
Schock: As of now, I am working on some watercolor paintings, the annual Drawlloween pictures which I'm doing all pencil this year, images for HoTS. As well as working on my next record. I make hardcore/metal music also. All written and recorded by myself called xSCHOCKx, which can be found here: xschockx.bandcamp.com I jump around mediums, drawing, painting, music and even writing. Working on a collection of short stories with a friend. No title yet, but its very X-rated and scary all at once.
horror-artist-inthespotlight-justin- schock-regan-300x300
HoTS: Do you do commission work?
Schock: I do, indeed, do commission work. I'm always open to anything graphic design in advertising, drawings, logo design, the list goes on and on. A list of services and prices can be found on my site (listed below), and it does not have to be limited to horror works. That's just my thing. I've done stuff for the MS people, Diabetic Youth Foundation, and even random churches. A good artist doesn't limit his focus.
HoTS: Do you have a fan page? Twitter? Instagram?
Schock: I am all over the social media and Internet. Heres a list:
Damn that's a lot. Nah, but I do a lot of different things artistically and sometimes they blend together. I use my nickname for both my artistic and musical endeavors, so that it’s easy to promote both.
Folks, be on the lookout for more of Justin. He is amazing, and we here at HoTS plan on keeping him around for many moons to come.
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Posted by Tammie Parker in ART AND VENDORS, FEATURED ARTIST, FEATURED CONTENT, IN THE SPOTLIGHT, INTERVIEWS, 0 comments
WiHM: Jamie Lee Curtis

WiHM: Jamie Lee Curtis

Jamie Lee Curtis was my first (and still my top go to) Scream Queen. She was 19 when she played the role of Laurie Strode in Halloween.
And boy did she play the hell out of the role!! The horrified faces she made, the shaky hand with the butcher knife, and that scream! She would later play that role three more times in Halloween II, Halloween H2O, and Halloween: Resurrection and had a voice role in Halloween III.
Jamie held on to the audience after Halloween with her banging body, which she took full advantage of in Trading Places, A Fish Called Wanda, and the infamous hotel scene from True Lies.
I mean isn't the perfect damsel in distress look?
Her ability to play any type of role amazed watchers and added even more to her fans list!!Jamie is one of the incredibly talented actresses that can go from horror to family movie (Freaky Friday), back to horror, and onto your 'typical housewife' in a dramatic adventure.
The show Scream Queens was conceived based on her, and she, of course, has a role in it to freak the audience once more. 🙂
Posted by Tammie Parker in FEATURED CONTENT, IN THE SPOTLIGHT, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
WiHM: Kathy Bates

WiHM: Kathy Bates

Kathy Bates is the one and only Grand Dame of Horror.
Oh, if only Annie Wilkes (Misery) heard the cockadoodie filth coming out of Sunny Soke's (Bad Santa 2) mouth, what a scene that would be. Kathy's performance in Misery is talked about to this day! How did a normal looking, I dare say Plain Jane type, woman pull that off? I mean her performance was absolutely stunning! Then, she goes from dark horror to Fried Green Tomatoes and then back to another Stephen King adaption Dolores Claiborne. Holy Hell, woman!
Kathy has gone on to play roles in every genre andbalways stuns the crowd with her performance – usually as an evil bitch. 🙂 Have you seen her as the Queen of Hearts in Syfy's Alice?
Alice -- Pictured: Kathy Bates as The Queen of Hearts -- Syfy Photo: James Dittiger
It is for that fact that I was floored a few months ago at the announcement that she had received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. WTF do you mean? Just now? Shouldn't she have received that back in the early 90s?! Who is in charge of handing out these stars?
Now we can all enjoy hating her on American Horror Story, which she has been in many seasons. Of course, her performances are always spot on. She is equally amazing and comfortable in horror and/or dramatic roles. Each season of AHS she plays a completely different type of role than the last, and she nails it every time.
Kathy has turned evil stare downs into an art form. Her look alone could give a yeti sunburn, and, as I said before, looks like a completely normal person. This is why her performances so memorable.
Posted by Tammie Parker in FEATURED CONTENT, HORROR HEROES, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
The History of Krampus

The History of Krampus

By Tammie Parker
Fans of horror like to think of another guy in a fur coat this time of the year: Krampus. He has been around for centuries now, and is growing more popular in these times. Krampus originated in the Alpines region. He is said to be part goat, part man, and all demon. krampus-red He walks upright on goat hind legs, is covered in fur, has goat horns, and sports a long curling pointed tongue. Krampus is Deutsch (German) and derives from the word krampen, meaning claw. Now doesn't he sound like a rootie pacutie!
In some regions of Europe ,Krampus is one of the Companions of Saint Nick. Knecht Ruprecht, Belsnickel, and Zwarte Piet are the others. Krampus and St. Nicholas are often seen together in books, and on Christmas cards. Krampus has been featured on cards since the 1800s in Europe.
krampusstnick krampussaintnicholas
Krampus comes the night before The Feast of Saint Nicholas. This night is called Krampusnacht. He carries a sack full of switches and goes into every house to find the misbehaving children. With eyes rolling all directions, tongue lashing in and out, krampus-sledtotheunderworldstumping with one goat hoof and one man foot (I imagine that is from versions blending together), he would sniff out the bad ones. Krampus would whip them, throw the naughty child into his sack and take them back to the Underworld, where they would be lost forever.
Then, with all the rotten children gone, St. Nicholas could come. Saint Nick only deals with good children.
In other versions, Krampus would just leave lumps of coal instead of presents. But who wants to hear about that when we have claws, fur, and an underworld?
Nothing like the good ole days and demons to scar a child for life huh! Maybe if this snot-nosed heathens now had some demons to fear they wouldn't be so disrespectful. Hell, maybe we could get some shirts tucked in!
In Germany, it used to be popular to pass around holiday cards with Krampus decorating the front. Just look how lovely these are.
krampus-childreninbasket2 krampus-childreninbasket
Until Krampus was outlawed in 1923. OUTLAWED! Craziness! Luckily, in the 60s, he started to appear again. Many cities in the Alpines have parades today, where they dress up as Krampus.
krampus-parade2 krampus-parade4
It's called Krampuslauf (Krampus run) Where drunk men dressed as krampus run around the streets. It's pretty much *St.Patty's day meets Mardi Gras meets Christmas*, and it is certainly time for America to embrace Krampuslauf!!!!
Merry Krampuslauf!
Posted by Tammie Parker in FAMILY HORROR, FEATURED CONTENT, HORROR HISTORY, IN THE SPOTLIGHT, MYTHS AND LEGENDS, 0 comments
RECIPE: Halloween Soup

RECIPE: Halloween Soup

By Tammie Parker

This soup became a tradition when my twin sons were growing up. We called it Witch's Brew, but it has many names (Biohazard Soup, Stuff and Thangs Soup, Clown Soup, etc). The trick is to add ingredients that you can say are something incredibly creepy or disgusting (tomato juice is now blood for example), but use names that will go with the title of the dish. Thus, for Witch's Brew, chicken wings become bat wings and green beans become goblin fingers. For Clown Soup, cherry tomatoes are clown noses, spiral cut different colored vegs for a clown's rainbow wig, and so on. The only thing you need to know to make all of this weirdness come out tasting great is simple seasonings (salt, pepper, garlic powder, crushed red pepper-easy!) and to slow cook the soup.

fearpremiere-food-biohazardstew2I'm having a TWD Premiere Party (if that wasn't drilled into your head yet from previous articles 😉 ), so my soup will contain a lot of shredded or ripped body parts (hearts, guts, limbs - thangs Lori!) and blood.

Here's a list of examples to help you out (I hope you make Clown Soup 😀 because this is the perfect year for it!)NOT ALL OF THESE GO IN ONE PARTICULAR THEMED SOUP (for instance if you are making for a TWD party, there wouldn't be any Dragons' Tongues. That's InShane!! :

  • Tomato juice (1 large can – sufficient for the soup base) = Blood
  • Stewed tomatoes (1 can) – partially rip apart by hand = Hearts
  • Raw chicken wings (4) = Bat wings
  • Smoked oysters (1 can) = Ogre hearts
  • Hominy (1 can) = Teeth
  • Smoked sausage (1/2) (peeled) = Skinless fingers or Limbs of a goblin
  • Spiral cut vegetables (potatoes, zucchini, carrots) (1 each) = Guts
  • Spinach (to taste) = Ogre Skin
  • Pearl onions (to taste) = Eyeballs
  • Bacon (4 slices cut in half) = Skin
  • Red kidney beans (1 can) = Rat hearts
  • Baby Carrots (1 pkg) = Dragon's tongue
  • Ribs (small package) = Guess
  • Hot dogs (1 pack cut in fours) and spaghetti noodles (2 per hot dog quarter) broken in half. Poke four noodle through each hot dog (THIS IS TO BE ADDED AT THE END) = Zombie virus
  • Angel hair pasta (1 serving) = Hair (If you want to use noodles, please remember they will go end at the end because they will get too soggy.)

1. Combine your choice of items 1 – 13 in large sauce pan over medium heat.
2. Cover and cook for 1 hour, stirring occasionally.
3. Add items 14 and 15 if desired.
4. Cook 10 more minutes.
5. Serve.
6. Enjoy.

Servings: Plenty of leftovers.

fearpremiere-food-biohazardstewHave fun and be disgusting! 😀

Posted by Tammie Parker in FAMILY HORROR, FEATURED CONTENT, HALLOWEEN, STAFF PICKS, 2 comments
HALLOWEEN CONTEST: Submit Your Scary Story

HALLOWEEN CONTEST: Submit Your Scary Story

WE WANT YOUR SCARY STORIES!

By Tammie Parker

Image: Woofer McWoofersonWe know tons of you have your own scary stories. They be actually be real story or something you went through or even something you witnessed first hand. We want to hear about them, and we're going to publish them EVERY day between October 24th and Halloween. You will, of course, be credited. Each story will start with the title. Don't worry - if you can't think of a title, we will. Then your name, where you're from, and any other introductory information your story requires.

The deadline to submit your scary story is 15 October 2016 midnight all time zones. This allows us to process the entries and communicate with the authors.

Image: Woofer McWoofersonAll entrants will become automatic Friends of the House and will have their names and stories posted on our site. From the submissions, three winners will be chosen based on creepiness (of the story, not the entrant). Winners will receive horror mystery bags.

To enter, email your scary story to us at admins@houseoftorturedsouls.com, subject: Scary Story Contest.

We’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

We are looking forward to being creeped out by our fans! Winners to be announced on November 8, 2016.

Posted by Tammie Parker in EXCLUSIVE, FAMILY HORROR, FEATURED CONTENT, FRIENDS OF THE HOUSE, PARANORMAL, 4 comments
House of Tortured Souls LIVE, S01E01

House of Tortured Souls LIVE, S01E01

House of Tortured Souls LIVE

Sunday, 17 July 2016
Season 01, Episode 01

It's the very first episode of House of Tortured Souls LIVE! Join our hosts, John, Andrew, and Dixie as they talk horror. We are horror all the time. It's the first show and we are still working out the kinks. Did someone say kink? Okay, back to horror. In this first episode we do introductions, then we move on to talk about the new Ghostbusters movie. Who are you gonna call?

After that, we talk about the upcoming Scares That Care Weekend 3, and the Scares That Care charity itself. If you are anywhere near historic Williamsburg, Virginia on July 22-24, 2016, get your ass to the Double Tree Hilton for Scares That Care Weekend 3.

Finally, we send a special salute out to a living legend of horror. THE master of horror who finally gets some just recognition. Who is it? Listen to find out! Most of all keep coming back. The gang has great chemistry born of friendship and a mutual love of horror. Tune in, and turn it up!

Special thanks to Rocky Gray for our opening music and our artwork. You the man, man!

Posted by Allen Alberson in FEATURED CONTENT, PODCAST, 0 comments
Salute: 50 Years of Dark Shadows

Salute: 50 Years of Dark Shadows

Welcome to Collinsport


Woofer McWooferson

This tribute is dedicated to Jason "Egg" Brown who is no longer with us. Jason was a smart, funny, and kind person, and he had a way with words as anyone in The Vortexx chat will tell you. Rest in peace.

Egg with Mod Ghoul, who left us in July of 2015.

Dark Shadows - Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins

Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins

Despite Dark Shadows airing between 1966 and 1971 when I was three- to eight-years-old, I have fond memories of rushing to watch it when it came on. How much of this is from the original airing and how much is from its syndication run I do not know. Memory is a tricky thing. Either way, Dark Shadows was a big deal for me and many other young horror fans. With witches, vampires, werewolves, gothic architecture, flashbacks to period piece episodes, and storylines inspired by the likes of Shelley, Poe, and Lovecraft, Dark Shadows was nothing like anything we'd seen on TV before. And we couldn't get enough of it.

Dark Shadows - Kathryn Leigh Scott as Magie Evans

Kathryn Leigh Scott as Magie Evans

Created by Dan Curtis after he dreamed of a mysterious young woman on a train, Dark Shadows began as a gothic soap opera following the lives of the Collins family of Collinsport, Maine (named for the family) and eventually morphed more into a supernatural soap opera. The show really took off in the second after the character of Barnabas Collins was introduced and Jonathan Frid joined the cast. Barnabas was eventually revealed to be a Collins ancestor who was cursed to be a vampire after he refused to return to the witch Angelique (Lara Parker), his former lover.

Dark Shadows - Joan Bennett as Elizabeth Stoddard Collins

Joan Bennett as Elizabeth Stoddard Collins

Barnabas was imprisoned by his own father in a chained coffin with a cross on the inside of the lid, but returns after his coffin is disturbed by contemporary Collins' looking for the family's alleged jewels. It doesn't take long for Barnabas to assume the role of a ladies man while feeding off the citizens of Collinsport at night. He is most taken by Maggie Evans (Kathryn Leigh Scott) because she resembles his long lost love Josette.

Dark Shadows - David Selby as Quentin Collins

David Selby as Quentin Collins

Interestingly, Barnabas was not supposed to be a regular, but his enormous popularity persuaded the producers to bring him on board completely. It even took quite a while before any character used the word vampire to describe Barnabas. Until that time, characters merely referred to him as one who “walks at night but...ain't alive” and “one of the undead”.

Dark Shadows - Nancy Barrett as Carolyn Stoddard

Nancy Barrett as Carolyn Stoddard

Other show regulars include Joan Bennett (who was on for the show's entire run) as Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, who had not ventured outside of her palatial home in over eighteen years, Alexandra Moltke Isles (for which producers received a great deal of criticism because of her age and lack of experience) as Victoria Winters, Nancy Barrett as Carolyn Stoddard (Elizabeth's daughter), Louis Edmonds (who also stayed for the show's full run) as Roger Collins (Elizabeth's brother), and David Selby as Quentin Collins.

Dark Shadows - Alexandra Isles as Victoria Winters

Alexandra Moltke Isles as Victoria Winters

Bennett, Barrett, and Edmonds were acting veterans who brought an air of legitimacy to the show and offset the perceived problem with having an unknown in a key role.

 

It's difficult to imagine now, but Dark Shadows was first and foremost a soap opera – a dark, gothic soap opera, but a soap opera nonetheless, and it originally aired on daytime television. With only a weekly budget of $70,000, they managed to create 1,125 episodes of one of the most beloved horror shows of the 20th century and spawn countless variations, including:

-House of Dark Shadows (1970) – feature length movie
-Night of Dark Shadows (1971) – feature length movie
-A television revival show in 1991 (featuring a very young Joseph Gordon-Levitt)
-Two book series of Dark Shadows, one consisting of 32 books and a novelization of House of Dark Shadows and the other a trilogy by Lara Parker, the actress who played Angelique
-Countless magazine articles and features
-A comic strip
-Comic books
-Two board games
-Coloring books
-Two jigsaw puzzles
-A View-Master reel
-A series of audio dramas with many members of the original cast

Yes, Dark Shadows was a seminal production that paved the way for many other horror television shows, and television was the better for it.

Dark Shadows cast

The cast of Dark Shadows

Posted by Woofer McWooferson in FEATURED CONTENT, HORROR HEROES, HORROR HISTORY, TRIBUTE, 0 comments
Pain Dead Three: An Original Horror Story by Jason Messenheimer

Pain Dead Three: An Original Horror Story by Jason Messenheimer

The following is a work of fiction, written by Jason Messenheimer. Jason has given House of Tortured Souls his permission to post his short stories.

Pain Dead Three

So here I am writing again. It’s not because I’m not worried about someone reading this. No, it’s more along the lines that I’m scared right now. Very scared. I’m just glad that I managed to have the foresight to actually stock up on food and water. Just wish I would have been smart enough to get some books in the home. But no, I never thought that one through.

So. Writing. Again. By hand. I imagine this is what it was like all those hundreds of years ago when everything was written with quill and ink. Ugh. How the hell did people survive back then? I’m hating it right now without the electricity. I can’t have a generator because it makes too much noise. I am in a basement with a lantern. I can’t write upstairs because it’s dark outside and the last thing I need is light going through the cracks between the boarded up windows and drawing the attention of unwanted neighbors.

I have learned a few things about these zombies. First of all, there is no book or movie that ever gets what these things are exactly right. The most significant thing I've learned is that they attack by smell. I’m pretty sure of it. I’ve been scared once or twice while foraging and when the adrenaline hits they pick up on me very quick. The trick is getting my heart rate to go down before I became someone’s snack.

One strange thing I’ve noticed is that during the night the zombies stop wherever they are. They don’t wander around like in the movies. If someone is running around making a bunch of noise or waving around a flashlight they will investigate. Other than that, they pretty much stop when it’s dark.

Another thing that I noticed from books and movies that they got wrong is the fact that if someone gets bitten they are usually done. C’mon, when some dumb motherfucker gets bit their adrenaline must be kicking into overdrive. Most of the bites that I’ve seen happen are usually pretty deep. So whatever in in their mouth that turns people into zombies is pretty much tossed around their blood system in a matter of seconds. Each one is different depending on how deep they were bit, how much they were bleeding, or how many zombies were snacking on them when they were bit. You have to excuse me, now. All of these talking about zombies eating has made me work up an appetite.

One last thought before I go is about something that has always bothered me since the beginning of this whole mess. Why the fuck in the movies did they always think that shooting a zombie in the head will kill it a second time? Hello, they are already dead. There is nothing going on upstairs. Chopping off the head will allow you to escape, but shooting them in the head? Waste of a fucking bullet. Save those for the living dumbasses.

Well, that sucked. I almost managed to get my ass killed today. Another thing I learned about zombies is they can track by our bodily functions. I ate the rest of my food up a couple of days ago and I was going out to forage. I don’t know where the scary Krysta went off to, but since she was gone, I figured it was my chance to go for a food run. I got about twenty steps away from my door when my stomach growled. Well, long story short, there were about three zombies around the side of the house and when they heard my stomach growl they realized that dinner was served. Luckily I wasn’t that far away from the door and I made it back inside before they could see me. Heard them walk right on by the door and keep walking. If you’ll excuse me now I’m going to try to eat some paper so my stomach will have something in it so I can try this shit again.

Only made it about five feet away from the door this time when I heard the now familiar click, click, click of familiar teeth. As soon as I heard that I turned around and went back into the house, locking the door after me. I heard Krysta walk up to the door, drop something heavy, and I heard the clicks fade away. I waited a couple of minutes before I opened up the door. There was a box of various canned goods sitting on the doorstep. I picked it up and looked for her. She wasn’t within earshot, so I took my canned goods, said a quiet thank you, and stepped back into the house and locked the door behind me.

Two hours later the clicks came back. Same story as before. Krista came up to the door, dropped something, hit the door once, and walked away. I took off to the door to see what she had left me. Two gallons of water and a half gallon of vodka. Not sure if it was by choice or by accident. I’d marry that zombie now if I wasn’t afraid she would bite off my finger while putting a ring on it. I’m also pretty sure that I couldn’t find someone to marry us. God forbid should I have to consummate the marriage. Gah, I need a drink.

Holy shit, what a night. Drank way more that I probably should've . Don’t really remember what happened last night. All I know is I woke up next to an open back door with familiar clicks going on that sounded like gunshots going off in my head. I sobered up really quick and opened my eyes. Krysta was standing over my head with a machete in her hand. She was looking down at me with a look that said ‘stupid’. I looked down at my feet and there were three mangled bodies of zombies that were there. Apparently in drunken stupidity I opened the door and passed out. Krysta must have come in and protected me in my drunken slumber. She sliced all the arms and knees with it and chopped off their heads for good measure. She took care of my dumb ass.

Well, fuck it. When I sober up I’m going to look for wedding rings. Just need to make sure that they have pulses attached to them. I need to take care of my girl since she took care of me. Feel stupid for ever thinking she would hurt me.

Two days later I found the ring for my girl. It just happened to be attached to one of the most hated people from my former life. I don’t really want to go into very many details on who it was. I will be a little happy to let you know what I did. It was not a pretty picture.

First of all I drugged the son of a bitch. Found a tranq gun a few days ago. Shot him right in the balls. Then I dragged him back to where I had my little party with Steve Sticks. Then the fun began.

There were no drugs used to help me with this motherfucker. I sound proofed the room where the party began. So yeah, I sound proofed it a second time.

The first thing I did was removed the boobs nails in his fingers and toes. He started screaming and whining and crying about how much pain he was in and how he wanted his nails back. So I obliged him. I gave him his nails back. Ground them up in a drink and let him drink them. It was a hundred and ten in the room so he gulped the water with his nails down really quick. I don’t think he even tasted the finely ground glass in his tasty beverage. He then swore at me that if he ever got out of the chair he was going to kill me for taking his nails off. But hey, I’m a nice guy so I made sure that he couldn’t get out of his chair. I gave him his nails back. All ten of them. Inch and three quarters, galvanized. Then I covered them up with bandages. Did I forget to mention that I soaked them with salt and lemons? He shit himself and I needed to cover up the smell.

That’s as far as the torture went. I just wanted to make sure that he couldn’t get out of his chair. I just kept feeding him three times a day. Chicken broth, water, and finely ground glass. Took a week for the motherfucker to die from internal bleeding.

I didn’t feed him to Krysta. He was so stupid in life I was pretty sure it was contagious. But she was insistent, so I removed his stomach and intestines. Don’t need my girl getting indigestion. It was weird when I was removing his insides. Thought he was dead. Apparently I was wrong. It was quite weird. Krysta was looking at me like I was the scary one.

Posted by Machete Von Kill in FEATURED CONTENT, 0 comments
Back to Pain Dead: An Original Horror Story by Jason Messenheimer

Back to Pain Dead: An Original Horror Story by Jason Messenheimer

Back to Pain Dead

PainDead

The following is a work of fiction, written by Jason Messenheimer. Jason has given House of Tortured Souls his permission to post his short stories.

So here I am writing about this shit again. Still can’t figure out why. Still don’t give a flying fuck. Been a busy day. Walking slowly, not breathing, and looking for specific people to get back at them.# It’s painful to try to get back at somebody and then stumbling into them shambling around being an undead dumbfuck. Ugh. Such is life.

I did manage to get myself a new toy. Only had to take it off the hands of one of the high school jerks. Wait, let me phrase it differently. Actually, I had to take his hands off him. I had just finished sighting in a sniper rifle and I went out to test my newfound sniping skills. Didn’t take long to find my target. It just happened to be Fuck Face Mikey and his little harem.

Let me tell you a little bit about Fuck Face Mikey. He was one of those genetically perfect jocks. Played for all the varsity teams. Pretty much got a free ride through high school because he was the one who could score the points to win the games. Lord, how I hated this motherfucker.

So there I was looking out my scope trying to when I heard this loud mouth yelling, waving around a katana, and having the audacity to be not wearing a shirt. What made it even worse was the fact was he was with two of the super skanks from school and they were running with him in their underwear. Fuck, this zombie apocalypse makes people do some weird shit.

So Fuck Face Mikey had a katana that probably made him feel like Billy Badass. He was screaming at the zombies trying to draw their attention to him. When they got close enough he would slice at their knees, making the zombies fall over. He would then cut their arms off at the elbows so that they couldn’t crawl after them. Not a very nice thing to do. I figured I’d give the zombies coming at him a little bit of a fighting chance. Seriously, if Krysta came around here all that work I put into that girl would have been a waste of time.

It seemed that the longer the apocalypse went on the easier it seemed that the living were getting smarter at getting away from the dead. Not cool. They were squirming out of grips and avoiding bites like it was no big deal. It was to me.

So I figured I would give chica a little bit of an edge. I went to a hardware store and found some nails. I put them through the back of the hands so they were just sticking out the other side of her hands. She could grab, and hopefully be able to hold her victim. If they pulled away from her, they would lose a chunk of their flesh and hopefully bleed out quick. I covered her hands with some fingerless gloves.

I toyed around with the idea of making a set of metal teeth for Krysta and decided against it. Not only would it change her snap, snap teeth into clang, clang and draw unnecessary attention to her, it would involve a little risk that I was not going to take. I would have to put my fingers into the snapping mouth. Fuck that.

The final thing I had to do to make Krysta my perfect little undead weapon was trying to get the undead stink off of her. I’m not even going to tell you what kind of hell I went through while I was getting her cleaned up in the shower. Uhg, nasty. It still makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth when I think about it. Then it was just a matter of dressing her, putting her hair in her face so no one could see her, and giving her marching orders.

Usually I just let her roam around. She always came back to the hideout sometime during the night, always alone, and if I didn’t give her any orders the next morning she would go wandering around by herself around noon.

I was hoping that she wasn’t in the neighborhood. It would suck if I lost my only friend during all this. I also had a sneaking suspicion that there probably wasn’t another female zombie who responded to me calling them chica, or anything else I’d say. I’d probably get the same reaction if I went up to one of these zombies and introduced myself as dinner. God forbid if I had to clean up another zombie. Fuck that.

So there I was lying on my stomach, watching Fuck Face Mikey lift his katana up in the air looking to slice another zombies arm off at the elbow. His arm came down, but the only thing that came down on the zombie was blood coming out of the stump where his hand and forearm used to be.

Chaos ensued. One of the super skanks actually had the brains to actually take off her bra and use it as a tourniquet. I blew her kneecap to shit. The last one turned and ran. She got about thirty yards before I shot her in the back and paralyzed her. Now all I had to do was wait until the dead got their dinner eaten and dispersed. Then I was going to get my new toy and head home.

On the way back home it was just another walk of not breathing and not drawing attention to myself. I was about to turn the corner when I heard a woman screaming. I also heard the breaking of glass. I almost forgot where I was and what I was doing. I quit going home and starting following the screaming and broken glass. Thankfully there were no zombies in the area. I still did the walk because you never know.

I turned the corner to see Krysta screaming and taking a bike and just beat the shit out of another window. I stopped in my tracks totally confused. She kept screaming and the last swing of the bike slipped out of her hands as it destroyed the window. Krysta went through the window still screaming.

I walked up to the broken window and I was just in time to hear another scream. I looked in through the window and realized that Krysta had broken into the local paper. There was a man in there hiding under his desk. There was a name plate that said Dan on the desk.

Krysta kept screaming at him and kept trying to grab him. I think she was doing some serious damage to her throat because she was bleeding some blackish sludge out of her mouth. She finally got a hold of Dan around the throat. I was expecting her to take a bit of him. Instead she lifted him up and slammed his head over and over again into the desk. Brains, teeth, and broken ceramic from coffee cups went sliding everywhere. A couple of zombies had shown up and were trying to get through the window. I was assuming Dan was dead at this point.

Krysta saw the two zombies trying to get in. She screamed and yanked Dan’s arm off at the shoulder. She walked up to the two zombies and took Dan’s arm, swung it like a baseball bat, and broke both of their jaws. She then walked up to the window, dropped the arm, and pulled herself out.

I walked up to her, “Chica,” I said, “are you alright?”

I did not expect an answer. Instead she turned around and looked at me. It scared the hell out of me when she gurgled, “He….. no… get… to…… live…… like……. you. He….. no…. deserve….. to……. be……. like……. me.”

“Ok,” I said, “let’s get you home and get you cleaned up.”

I don’t know what the fuck happened today, but for the first time since the dead came back I was actually scared.

Posted by Machete Von Kill in FEATURED CONTENT, FICTION AND POETRY, 0 comments