christmas

With Christmas upon us, we venture through the veritable treasure trove of dark stories of yuletide fair. Here is a short list of 9 Christmas tales and traditions used originally to promote the darker (and in some cases oddly comical) side of the holiday period. Whilst some are purely laughable by today’s standards, others are still used to scare children into being good all around the world.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

1. KRAMPUS:

Krampus / Fair use doctrine.The most obvious on the list and easiest to recognize, KRAMPUS has gained a notoriety with horror fans through various films in recent years.
KRAMPUS is a Christmas character from Austria, who on KRAMPUS Night (December 5th) each year appears to scare and maim. Some say he is Santa Claus’ evil twin brother and, like his brother, has a duty each year to perform. Unlike his kindly brother who delivers gifts to good girls and boys, KRAMPUS has the opposite job and will beat and punish all of the naughty children.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

2. CAGANER:

The Shitter / Fair use doctrine.This odd little custom is used in Spain, Portugal, and Italy.
As usual, a nativity is set up and decorated with the expected characters on display – Jesus, Mary, Joseph, three wise men and perhaps a shepherd. However, in these three countries, you may also add a character known as CAGANER.
CAGANER is literally translated as ‘the crapper’ or ‘the shitter’, and his figurine (which traditionally depicts a man, pooping with his pants around his knees and with a pile of poop at his heels) is usually placed in the corner of a traditional nativity scene. Children are encouraged to find him, as part of their Christmas ritual. The CAGANER is not a new custom, having been around for a few hundred years. It is a bit of a shitty custom, I know, but I will admit I was intrigued by the concept of a man crapping in my nativity scene.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

3. WITCHES:

Brooms - WitchesIn Norway each year, it is perceived that WITCHES and evil spirits will ascend on the towns in search of brooms to ride on to do their evil bidding on Christmas Eve. To thwart this evil, the Norwegians will hide all brooms on Christmas Eve and fire a warning shot outdoors with a shotgun.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

4. FRAU PERCHTA:

Frau Perchta / Fair use doctrine.Continuing on with our witch folklore, FRAU PERCHTA is another occult Christmas legend from Austria and Germany. It is known that FRAU PERCHTA visits children through the 12 days of Christmas, from December 25th until January 6th. She is seen as both good and bad.
Thought to have descended from an Alpine goddess of nature, FRAU PERCHTA will reward good children.
However, she is very well known for her gruesome punishments for the bad, including one fearful tale of ripping out internal organs and replacing them with garbage.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

5. HANS TRAPP:

Hans Trapp / Fair use doctrine.In certain regions of France, the tales of HANS TRAPP circulate as an anti-Santa.
Dressed like a raggedy scarecrow when he visits, HANS TRAPP was a wealthy man who worshiped Satan and became greedy and evil.
The stories say that HANS TRAPP was about to eat a small boy when he was punished by God and struck by lightning, killing him instantly. However, his dark soul still returns to scare children (looking like a scarecrow) each Christmas, as a reminder that they still have time to be good.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

6. PERE FOUETTARD:

Pere / Fair use doctrine.PERE FOUETTARD was an evil French butcher who many still fear today.
Said to be a ghoul whose name translates as ‘Father Whipper’, PERE FOUETTARD lured children to their deaths whipping and cutting them (primarily by slicing their throats).
A gruesome tale of 3 young boys he led into his butcher’s shop, was the one that cemented his fate as a part of Christmas’ evil side.
It was there that he murdered them, chopped them up and salted the remains.
St. Nicholas came to the boys’ aid and resurrected them, before enslaving PERE FOUETTARD as his dispenser of punishment, by whipping them naturally.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

7. WEREWOLVES:

Werewolf / Fair use doctrine.Yes …I said WEREWOLVES!
According to varied legends, Lycanthropy is very much included as part of some countries Christmas legends.
In The World Encyclopedia of Christmas, Olaus Magnus (a Swedish folklorist) wrote regarding werewolves gathering on Christmas night to “rage with wondrous ferocity against human beings, by attacking their homes and devouring the inhabitants”.
This was supposedly in Prussia, Livonia, and Lithuania.
However, that is not all of the Christmas-werewolf connection.
In modern times, it has since been reduced to merely being born on Christmas Day is cause enough to believe that person will become a werewolf.
It is seen that being born on December 25th is mocking Jesus Christ and so you must be punished.
Sorry to all you December 25th born children, perhaps steer “clear of the moors”?
Flashing colored Christmas lights

8. GRYLA:

Gryla / Fair use doctrine.GRYLA is an Icelandic legend of a woman with 13 sons (known as the YULE LADS) and her cat Jólakötturinn (see story available on this page about the YULE CAT).
In Iceland, it is customary to receive a gift of new clothes to wear on Christmas Eve. Usually, good workers receive clothes as a gift from employers, and children from their parents.
For those children considered naughty, who do not receive new clothes in time for the festive season, GRYLA comes out from her home and seeks them out -to devour them.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

9. THE YULE LADS:

Like their mother GRYLA, THE YULE LADS were not at all nice to encounter during the holidays. Tales of their numbers vary from five to thirteen, and their antics range from mere pranks to acts of cannibalism.
Either way, these ‘lads’ were to be feared and were usually seen as henchmen for their mother.
In more recent years each of their 13 characters has evolved (since a poem published in 1932 by Jóhannes úr Kötlum) and THE YULE LADS have been seen as more impish, mischievous and less aggressive. In fact with recent toys, stamps and images available they appear more like the seven dwarves than evildoers.

THE DARK SIDE OF CHRISTMAS

THE DARK SIDE OF CHRISTMAS

With Christmas upon us, we venture through the veritable treasure trove of dark stories of yuletide fair. Here is a short list of 9 Christmas tales and traditions used originally to promote the darker (and in some cases oddly comical) side of the holiday period. Whilst some are purely laughable by today’s standards, others are still used to scare children into being good all around the world.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

1. KRAMPUS:

Krampus / Fair use doctrine.The most obvious on the list and easiest to recognize, KRAMPUS has gained a notoriety with horror fans through various films in recent years.
KRAMPUS is a Christmas character from Austria, who on KRAMPUS Night (December 5th) each year appears to scare and maim. Some say he is Santa Claus’ evil twin brother and, like his brother, has a duty each year to perform. Unlike his kindly brother who delivers gifts to good girls and boys, KRAMPUS has the opposite job and will beat and punish all of the naughty children.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

2. CAGANER:

The Shitter / Fair use doctrine.This odd little custom is used in Spain, Portugal, and Italy.
As usual, a nativity is set up and decorated with the expected characters on display – Jesus, Mary, Joseph, three wise men and perhaps a shepherd. However, in these three countries, you may also add a character known as CAGANER.
CAGANER is literally translated as ‘the crapper’ or ‘the shitter’, and his figurine (which traditionally depicts a man, pooping with his pants around his knees and with a pile of poop at his heels) is usually placed in the corner of a traditional nativity scene. Children are encouraged to find him, as part of their Christmas ritual. The CAGANER is not a new custom, having been around for a few hundred years. It is a bit of a shitty custom, I know, but I will admit I was intrigued by the concept of a man crapping in my nativity scene.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

3. WITCHES:

Brooms - WitchesIn Norway each year, it is perceived that WITCHES and evil spirits will ascend on the towns in search of brooms to ride on to do their evil bidding on Christmas Eve. To thwart this evil, the Norwegians will hide all brooms on Christmas Eve and fire a warning shot outdoors with a shotgun.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

4. FRAU PERCHTA:

Frau Perchta / Fair use doctrine.Continuing on with our witch folklore, FRAU PERCHTA is another occult Christmas legend from Austria and Germany. It is known that FRAU PERCHTA visits children through the 12 days of Christmas, from December 25th until January 6th. She is seen as both good and bad.
Thought to have descended from an Alpine goddess of nature, FRAU PERCHTA will reward good children.
However, she is very well known for her gruesome punishments for the bad, including one fearful tale of ripping out internal organs and replacing them with garbage.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

5. HANS TRAPP:

Hans Trapp / Fair use doctrine.In certain regions of France, the tales of HANS TRAPP circulate as an anti-Santa.
Dressed like a raggedy scarecrow when he visits, HANS TRAPP was a wealthy man who worshiped Satan and became greedy and evil.
The stories say that HANS TRAPP was about to eat a small boy when he was punished by God and struck by lightning, killing him instantly. However, his dark soul still returns to scare children (looking like a scarecrow) each Christmas, as a reminder that they still have time to be good.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

6. PERE FOUETTARD:

Pere / Fair use doctrine.PERE FOUETTARD was an evil French butcher who many still fear today.
Said to be a ghoul whose name translates as ‘Father Whipper’, PERE FOUETTARD lured children to their deaths whipping and cutting them (primarily by slicing their throats).
A gruesome tale of 3 young boys he led into his butcher’s shop, was the one that cemented his fate as a part of Christmas’ evil side.
It was there that he murdered them, chopped them up and salted the remains.
St. Nicholas came to the boys’ aid and resurrected them, before enslaving PERE FOUETTARD as his dispenser of punishment, by whipping them naturally.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

7. WEREWOLVES:

Werewolf / Fair use doctrine.Yes …I said WEREWOLVES!
According to varied legends, Lycanthropy is very much included as part of some countries Christmas legends.
In The World Encyclopedia of Christmas, Olaus Magnus (a Swedish folklorist) wrote regarding werewolves gathering on Christmas night to “rage with wondrous ferocity against human beings, by attacking their homes and devouring the inhabitants”.
This was supposedly in Prussia, Livonia, and Lithuania.
However, that is not all of the Christmas-werewolf connection.
In modern times, it has since been reduced to merely being born on Christmas Day is cause enough to believe that person will become a werewolf.
It is seen that being born on December 25th is mocking Jesus Christ and so you must be punished.
Sorry to all you December 25th born children, perhaps steer “clear of the moors”?
Flashing colored Christmas lights

8. GRYLA:

Gryla / Fair use doctrine.GRYLA is an Icelandic legend of a woman with 13 sons (known as the YULE LADS) and her cat Jólakötturinn (see story available on this page about the YULE CAT).
In Iceland, it is customary to receive a gift of new clothes to wear on Christmas Eve. Usually, good workers receive clothes as a gift from employers, and children from their parents.
For those children considered naughty, who do not receive new clothes in time for the festive season, GRYLA comes out from her home and seeks them out -to devour them.
Flashing colored Christmas lights

9. THE YULE LADS:

Like their mother GRYLA, THE YULE LADS were not at all nice to encounter during the holidays. Tales of their numbers vary from five to thirteen, and their antics range from mere pranks to acts of cannibalism.
Either way, these ‘lads’ were to be feared and were usually seen as henchmen for their mother.
In more recent years each of their 13 characters has evolved (since a poem published in 1932 by Jóhannes úr Kötlum) and THE YULE LADS have been seen as more impish, mischievous and less aggressive. In fact with recent toys, stamps and images available they appear more like the seven dwarves than evildoers.



Posted by Michelle MIDI Sayles in FEATURED CONTENT, MONSTERS AND CREATURES, MYTHS AND LEGENDS, SATANIC/DEMONIC, STAFF PICKS, WEREWOLVES, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW (RETRO): Beware, My Lovely (1952)

MOVIE REVIEW (RETRO): Beware, My Lovely (1952)

Beware, My Lovely:
The Forgotten Noir Christmas Nightmare

Director: Harry Horner; Writer: Mel Dinelli (based on his 1950 play The Man); Stars:
Ida Lupino, Robert Ryan, Taylor Holmes, Barbara Whiting, OZ Whitehead; Rating: UNK; Run Time: 12 min; Genre: Crime, Drama, Film-Noir; Country: USA; Language: English; Year: 1952
I recently did my Naughty and Nice list of fairly well known Christmas time horrors, and it got me to reflect on this often forgotten gem. Sure, when we think of alternative festive movies, we might pop in Die Hard or The Ref – and those are both perfect choices. However, if you are looking for something black and white (and a bit off its rocker), allow me to take you down the shadowy, hellish streets of noir for a neglected classic. RKO wasn’t a small studio, but they weren’t big, either. That meant that their films, especially the noirs, were grittier and altogether more edgy. They tackled subjects that many of that many of the studios weren’t and, in the case of Beware, My Lovely, take a raw look at mental illness with a seasonal backdrop.Ida Lupino in Beware, My Lovely
The film opens in 1918 (an oddly specific time) in a small Norman Rockwell-type of town during the holiday season. A kindly war window, Helen Gordon (Ida Lupino), hires a handyman to do some work around her apartment building. It just so happens that somebody is a deranged man named Howard (played to the hilt by Robert Ryan) with a murky past. Ms. Gordon soon finds herself menaced by the shady-looking character and unable to escape his clutches.
Robert Ryan in Beware, My LovelyI believe I first saw Beware, My Lovely on TCM and was floored as I, a noir lover, had never heard of this before. And it even starred one of my favorite Hollywood heavies – Robert Ryan, who never really got the kind of iconic status as somebody like Robert Mitchum or James Cagney despite being in many great films. For me, nobody plays a bad guy quite like him. Beware, My Lovely is a wonderfully creepy character study of a person clearly suffering from mental disease, and Ryan plays it brilliantly. Howard’s character is a complete mystery, and the movie isn’t interested in spoonfeeding us what fuels him. This lack of motivation is actually pretty off-putting. The whole thing plays out like one strange, unending nightmare with a head-scratching opening which is never explained. In fact, a lot of this movie doesn’t really make sense, but it’s so barking mad that it really doesn’t matter. It’s even weirder because it takes place around Christmas. In fact, that theme is played up and not simply relegated to background dressing. The fact that this movie got made baffles me, but to make it a sort of Christmas movie is just incredible.
Sadly, I don’t believe this movie was ever officially released on home video except for VHS, and the one a found on Ebay was $30. But if you search, you might be able to find a copy somewhere. TCM also plays it, so if it comes on, please DVR it. So snuggle up with your best fellow or dame, grab a stiff drink, and enjoy this very Noir-Christmas film. Maybe the only one ever made.

skeletal santa in snow

Posted by Mike Vaughn in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments
The History of Krampus

The History of Krampus

By Tammie Parker
Fans of horror like to think of another guy in a fur coat this time of the year: Krampus. He has been around for centuries now, and is growing more popular in these times. Krampus originated in the Alpines region. He is said to be part goat, part man, and all demon. krampus-red He walks upright on goat hind legs, is covered in fur, has goat horns, and sports a long curling pointed tongue. Krampus is Deutsch (German) and derives from the word krampen, meaning claw. Now doesn't he sound like a rootie pacutie!
In some regions of Europe ,Krampus is one of the Companions of Saint Nick. Knecht Ruprecht, Belsnickel, and Zwarte Piet are the others. Krampus and St. Nicholas are often seen together in books, and on Christmas cards. Krampus has been featured on cards since the 1800s in Europe.
krampusstnick krampussaintnicholas
Krampus comes the night before The Feast of Saint Nicholas. This night is called Krampusnacht. He carries a sack full of switches and goes into every house to find the misbehaving children. With eyes rolling all directions, tongue lashing in and out, krampus-sledtotheunderworldstumping with one goat hoof and one man foot (I imagine that is from versions blending together), he would sniff out the bad ones. Krampus would whip them, throw the naughty child into his sack and take them back to the Underworld, where they would be lost forever.
Then, with all the rotten children gone, St. Nicholas could come. Saint Nick only deals with good children.
In other versions, Krampus would just leave lumps of coal instead of presents. But who wants to hear about that when we have claws, fur, and an underworld?
Nothing like the good ole days and demons to scar a child for life huh! Maybe if this snot-nosed heathens now had some demons to fear they wouldn't be so disrespectful. Hell, maybe we could get some shirts tucked in!
In Germany, it used to be popular to pass around holiday cards with Krampus decorating the front. Just look how lovely these are.
krampus-childreninbasket2 krampus-childreninbasket
Until Krampus was outlawed in 1923. OUTLAWED! Craziness! Luckily, in the 60s, he started to appear again. Many cities in the Alpines have parades today, where they dress up as Krampus.
krampus-parade2 krampus-parade4
It's called Krampuslauf (Krampus run) Where drunk men dressed as krampus run around the streets. It's pretty much *St.Patty's day meets Mardi Gras meets Christmas*, and it is certainly time for America to embrace Krampuslauf!!!!
Merry Krampuslauf!
Posted by Tammie Parker in FAMILY HORROR, FEATURED CONTENT, HORROR HISTORY, IN THE SPOTLIGHT, MYTHS AND LEGENDS, 0 comments
MOVIE REVIEW: Holidays (2016)

MOVIE REVIEW: Holidays (2016)

By John Roisland

Holidays-Torrent-2016-Full-HD-Movie-Download

Holidays is a 2016 horror film i just checked out. I want to say i liked it, but it’s not one that I think I'd add to my library.

Holidays is another anthology film set much like the ABCs of Death, in that they gathered up a handful of writers and directors, and instead of them pulling letters out of a hat, a calender was thrown in the mix and each was given a holiday to make a short on.

Holidays-2016-m

Holidays tackled include:

  • Valentine’s Day (a nerdy swimmer in high school cutting out a team member’s heart to give to their coach)
  • St. Patrick’s Day (a woman giving birth to a snake with a pompadour)
  • Easter (a deformed half Easter bunny and half Jesus)
  • Mother’s Day
  • Father’s Day
  • Halloween
  • Christmas ( Seth Green puts a smile on your face)
  • New Year’s Eve

 

The New Year’s Eve segment, directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer, who brought us Some Kind of Hate in 2015, stole the show.
Ending the year and the film was New Years Eve

The big name throwing his hat into the ring is Silent Bob himself, Kevin Smith who brought us Red State in 2011 and Tusk in 2014 and countless non horror films. Smith brings us a rather different event for my personal favorite holiday, Halloween... webcam porn. I'm gonna leave it at that for you to check out, but i will tell you that it IS in Smith style and one other thing, i clinched!

All writers and directors added their own dark twist and flare on not only the holiday, but added a bit of folklore into some of them as well. Some pieces I obviously enjoyed more than others, as I'm sure you will as well. Some were moved along, some tended to drag, others honestly made me wonder just what the HELL did I just watch!?!

HOLIDAYSREVFEAT

I for one am a huge fan of anthologies, maybe because if one sucks, you know its not going to be much more than 10-15 minutes long, or maybe its because my brain can only comprehend for that amount of time. Regardless, i enjoy and welcome them.

Holidays is worth a watch and is currently on Netflix. Run time is about 1 hour and 45 minutes, and the film actually is not rated. But, no, this is not one for the kiddies!

I give Holidays a 6/10

 

Keep It Evil..

Posted by John Roisland in MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover: Even Scarier Solstice

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover: Even Scarier Solstice

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover
Part 3 of 3: An Even Scarier Solstice

An Even Scarier Solstice from the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society.

An Even Scarier Solstice from the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society.

This final segment of my three part holiday tune recommendations looks at An Even Scarier Solstice, the second solstice carol album from the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society (HPLHS). Once again, the good folks at the HPLHS take themes, characters, and events from Lovecraft and Lovecraft-inspired writers, set them to traditional carol tunes, and then perform them beautifully. This album is equally as clever as its predecessor, a worthy follow up to their first foray into holiday tunes.

Here's a list of the tracks and a brief description of each:

1. "We Wish You a Scary Solstice" (1:04) Excellent way to open the album because children love the Old Ones, too!

2. "The World in Terror and Madness Lies" (3:55) It's that time of the year... time for great Cthulhu to rise!

3. "Mountains of Madness" (1:37) Why walk in just a winter wonderland when you can walk in the mountains of madness? One word: Shoggoths.

4. "A Cyclopean Tomb (Down in Deep R'lyeh)" (1:30) There's no place like home, and there's no home like R'lyeh!

5. "Death to the World" (2:02) A carol that examines the best outcome if the Old Ones come. Praise the Old Ones.

6. "Awake Ye Scary Great Old Ones" (1:30) The tale of the Old Ones to the tune of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”.

7. "Mi-Go We Have Heard on High" (1:15) What do Mi-Go want?

8. "The Shoggoth Song" (0:44) Be careful what you wish for!

9. "It's the Most Horrible Time of the Year" (1:23) Some claim this is the most wonderful time of the year, but this song reminds us why that's not so.

10. "Harley Got Devoured by the Undead" (2:52) Taking a more modern tune, this gem tells the story of the statement of Randolph Carter.

11. "It's Mi-Go!" (2:03) Mi-Go! Why DO they put our brains in cans?

12. "A Brumalian Wish" (2:10) An original tune with an excellent period feel.

13. "Look! Professor Angell Brings" (2:42) The heralding angels have nothing on Professor Angell!

14. "The Cultist Song" (2:21) A song about the cultists who work to help bring about the return of the Old Ones to the tune “Merry Christmas to You”.

15. "Death May Die" (2:35) Key parts of the Necronomicon to “Auld Lang Syne”.

16. "The Festival" (1:12) A song inviting a distant family member to partake in the ancient rites and rituals of his bloodline.

17. "Eerie Dreary Solstice" (1:22) Who wants a “Holly Jolly Christmas” when you could have an “Eerie, Dreary Solstice”?

18. "The Deep One Song (Solstice in R'lyeh)" (2:34) Deep Ones, not chipmunks, will mate with humankind on this day.

19. "The Worst Hotel" (2:15) Our narrator was less than satisfied with his Innsmouth accomodations.

20. "Unholy Night" (5:01) Another song about the coming of the Old Ones because there can't be too many songs about the main prophecy in the Cthulhu mythos.

21. "We Three Friends of H.P.L. Are" (6:24) Robert E. Howard, Clark Ashton Smith, and Robert Bloch sing the praises of H.P. Lovecraft and his extraordinary imagination.

22. "Blue Solstice" (2:40) Elvis (or an celebrity sound alike) mourns a solstice without Cthulhu.

23."Go Summon Up the Dead Ones" (2:58) Celebrate your ancestors, but oh so carefully – unless you want to die.

An Even Scarier Solstice is the second of two original Lovecraftian-themed holiday albums from the folks at HPLHS. As with the first CD, An Even Scarier Solstice can be purchased from the online store.

An Unbearably Scary Solstice

An Unbearably Scary Solstice

If you want an extraordinarily special solstice treat, the HPLHS has a bargain double header with A Very Scary Solstice and An Even Scarier Solstice bundled with their songbooks and packaged lovingly in a collectible tentacle stocking that even has room for more stocking stuffers. This treat, commonly known as An Unbearably Scary Solstice, can be purchased here.

10/10 – More top notch Lovecraftian holiday music!

Posted by Woofer McWooferson in MUSIC REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover: Scary Little Christmas

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover: Scary Little Christmas

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover
Part 1 of 3: Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas

Tales from the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

Tales from the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

As December rolls on more winter holidays overtake us, some might like to bust out holiday tunes with a bit of a macabre and maniacal bent than is offered from mass-marketed traditional holiday tunes. Three holiday favorites around our house are Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas a 1994 release from Tales from the Crypt, A Very Scary Solstice, and An Even Scarier Solstice 2003 and 2006 releases from the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society. These three beauties are must-haves for the lover of horror holiday carols.

This first of three reviews examines Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas, a wonderfully creepy featuring carols sung by the Cryptkeeper (John Kassir), from traditional tunes to a Christmas rap, and each song is guaranteed to amuse horror lovers in every home. Here's a list of the tracks and a brief description of each:

1. Intro to album (0:51) Exactly what it sounds like.
2."Deck The Halls With Parts of Charlie" (1:55) The joys of using body parts to “Deck the Halls”.
3. "Juggle Bills" (3:17) Santa's not going to "Jingle Bells" this season.
4. "We Wish You'd Bury the Misses" (2:20) Christmas present for self interferes with property values.
5. "Moe Teitlebaum" (2:32) What's more Christmassy than embalming? (To the tune "O Tannenbaum"/"O Christmas Tree")
6. A Christmas Card for the Cryptkeeper (0:51) Spoken Christmas poem from Hannibal the Cannibal.
7. "Christmas Rap" (3:22) Rappin' to “Jolly Ol' St. Nicholas”, the Cryptkeeper outlines the gifts he would like for Santa to brin his creepy friends.
8. Intro to Cryptkeeper's Family Christmas (0:32) Exactly what it sounds like.
9. "Cryptkeeper's Family Christmas" (2:03) The Cryptkeeper describes holiday dinner with his family to the tune of “Good King Wenceslas".
10. "T'was the Fright Before Christmas" (3:55) The Cryptkeeper reads his own version of “'Twas the Night Before Christmas”.
11. "Twelve Days of Cryptmas" (3:42) What can you get your love this Cryptmas?
12. Intro to Revenge of the Cryptkeeper (0:24) Exactly what it sounds like.
13. "Revenge of the Cryptkeeper" (2:18) To the tune of “Up on the Housetop”, The Cryptkeeper describes his dream of stopping Santa's giving spree.
14. "Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas" (2:21) Homey story of a man who does anything to get home for Christmas (over the Cryptkeeper singing to the tune of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”).
15. "Should Old Cadavers Be Forgot" (3:38) The Cryptkeeper ushers out the old year with a cadaverous parody of “Auld Lang Syne”.

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas comes with an exclusive Christmas comic and can be enjoyed throughout the holiday season and all year long! If you're lucky, one of the copies available on Amazon will still be available when you read this...

8/10 – Fun for young and old!

Posted by Woofer McWooferson in MUSIC REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments
The Walking Dead: Who is Negan?

The Walking Dead: Who is Negan?

By Nicole Robinson

Negan

Fans of The Walking Dead comic book series have long awaited to find out who was going to be playing the notorious villain Negan. It was recently announced that The Good Wife and Supernatural alum, Jeffery Dean Morgan, was cast, bringing about speculation that Negan will be appearing sometime during season 6. This was all but confirmed after that mid-season finale’s sneak peek of Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham’s encounter with The Saviors. For those fans that do not read the comic series, you are probably wondering to yourself “Who is Negan and why should I care?”

For those of you wondering this very question, here are some answers.

Negan is a very important comic character and first appears in the series during issue #100. He is the leader of the Saviors. The sneak peek gave us our first introduction to Negan’s group in a very accurate portrayal of their comic counterparts. This is not a small group, but in fact is an entire community like Alexandria and Negan is their leader. He uses fear and brutality to secure their loyalty with burning faces with an iron as example of one punishment for breaking the rules.

From the very beginning, it is very clear that Negan has a special type personality. In his first appearance, his introduces Rick and friends to Lucille, a baseball bat wrapped in barb wire which he uses to random choose his first victim. He knocks at the gates of Alexandria demanding HALF of everything. Half of all of the supplies, weapons, and ammo that the community has collected in exchange for protection. The protection they need is from The Saviors.

Negan randomly choose a victim from a subdued group which happens to be Glenn. While a pregnant Maggie, Rick, and Michonne watch, he beats Glenn to death with Lucille in one of the most memorable and graphic scene of the entire series. This also establishes a lot about the character that is Negan and his impact on the dynamic of the story.

The death of Glenn is one which strikes at the very hearts of Rick and Maggie as well as the rest of the survivors. We learn very quickly that Negan is very narcissistic and charming with absolutely no sense of remorse. He hears Glenn beg for his life and yet he still smashes Lucille into his skull and at one point even laughs and says “He is taking it like a champ”. Rick swears to avenge Glenn and kill Negan but this does not even phase him. He just laughs more and beats Rick with his bare hands before leaving.

Negan is a psychotic, witty, intelligent, and brutal. He occasionally will display a warped sense of sympathy but lacks empathy completely. And he is coming to the TV counterpart during the second half of season 6. Jeffery Dean Morgan was recently announced to have been casted as the iconic villain settling any questions as to whether or not Rick would come face to face with Negan before season 7. Does this spell the end for Glenn?

So far the television series has mixed up the death count to be different from the comic counterpart. Bob replaced Dale as tainted meat. Tyresse died at Shirewilt Estates last season in a reverse of sorts having first appeared at Wiltshire Estates previous to the prison in the comic. Sasha seems to be taking over the role of Andrea as the sniper. Chances are the writers will do the same for Glenn especially after the whole dumpster ordeal. One major theory that seems to hold the most weight is that Daryl will be the one to meet Lucille if and when Negan shows up this season.

Before you start getting out the riot gear, think about this a little. We have been seeing less and less of Daryl this season as if we are being weaned off of him. His story seems to have become very stale since Beth died. What more does Daryl Dixon really have to offer The Walking Dead? He has come to terms with his past and who he is. He trusts people a lot more now, even going out as a recruiter for Alexandria. He became a valued member of the group, really growing out of the whole racist redneck image we had of him in season 1.

Another aspect to consider is that Daryl is second only to Rick as the most popular Character on a show that claims “No One Is Safe”.  The moment that Negan arrives and brutal ends Glenn is one of the moment significant moments of the entire comic series. Glenn has played second fiddle to Daryl since the start, having has a much larger role in comic series as well as being a fan favorite. Whomever gets Lucille has to make a huge impact.

The major point about Glenn’s death is that is makes the readers really hate Negan. There is no one else besides that Daryl that could make the audience hate Negan on the level we need too for the TV series. The legions of fan screaming “If Daryl Dies We Riot” can only keep him safe for so long. The appearance of Negan brings about a new chapter for The Walking Dead and Lucille is thirsty.

It will a long wait for the 2nd half of season 6. The first 8 episodes started out strong and ended…. Well…. Good. When season 6 picks back on Valentine’s Day with the episode “No Way Out”, here is to hoping they make it up to us with a lot of death, especially for Sam. He really needs to die for speaking a syllable while walking through a herd in a walker gut covered bed sheet.

Posted by Nicole Robinson in BOOKS, COMICS, AND PUBLICATION REVIEWS, EDITORIALS, REVIEWS, SERIES REVIEWS, 0 comments
AMC’s The Walking Dead: Start to Finish

AMC’s The Walking Dead: Start to Finish

 No Way Out

By Nicole Robinson

Walkers take Alexandria

Last week’s episode of The Walking Dead saw the wall of Alexandria come tumbling down when the tower fell and “Start to Finish” picked right where it left off after a foreshadowing opening scene of ants devouring a cookie in Sam’s room.  A flood of walkers came pouring into the streets of the community where the group calls home and Rick has fallen to the ground.

Rick being Rick, shots at the incoming herd in a fury of wasted bullets as he screams for everyone to get into their houses and keep quiet. Deanna is injured after she falls on a blade and is bleeding from her side and leg.

The action came fast and furious after that as the survivors all separated into different hiding spots — Carol and Morgan in one house, Rick, Carl, Michonne, an injured Deanna, Jessie, and the kids in another. Maggie is trapped up on a tower, while Eugene, Rosita, and Tara are in a garage. Denise is stuck with the Wolf that Morgan has locked up.

Each group takes stock of their situations, none of which seem to be very good considering the streets are quickly filling up with zombies.  Deanna discovers that, in addition to her other rather painful and threatening wounds, she had been bitten in the side during her fall. In what are probably the most appropriate words of the entire episode, she says “Well Sh**”.

Carol appears to have a concussion as the result of a fall and tricks Morgan into thinking she is resting so she can escape and kill the wolf he has locked up. The two fight after a stand-off but both are knocked out just as Tara, Eugene, and Rosita walk in and the Wolf takes Denise hostage with a knife to her throat. He demands their weapons and Tara and Rosita kick over their guns while Eugene surrenders his machete. This is a seemingly odd move considering they had two guns and outnumbered him but for entertainment purposes we can let it slide. He escapes with Denise as hostage leaving us wondering if one or both of them will survive the mega herd that is flooding into Alexandria.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, teen angst posterchild Ron locks Carl in a garage in an attempt to kill the son of the man who killed his father. Walkers break up the fight and get into the house.  Carl takes Ron's gun and gets in the best line of the night in response to Ron's attack, "Your Dad was an A**hole". Deanna takes on the herd until her six bullets are gone in a final stand of strength that results in being eaten off camera.

The group decides to shroud themselves in bedsheets covered in walker guts to make an escape by walking right through the crowd. Sam decides that walking through a massive herd of flesh eating zombies is the perfect to get his mom’s attention and says “Mommy” right before the credits role and we are left to process until the show returns on Valentine’s Day next year.

 

LUCILLE IS COMING

Meeting Negan's henchman

During the first commercial break of Into the Badlands a 2 minute sneak-peak showed Abraham, Sasha, and Daryl on their way home in a truck when they are stopped by a group of bikers with big guns. A shiver of glee goes down every comic reader’s spine as the speaker for this group tells them ALL of their property belongs to… Negan. That’s right. The Saviors have arrived and Lucille is coming.

Negan and the Saviors, first appear in issue 100 of the comic book counter part of the series and knocks at the gates of Alexandria demanding half of everything in exchange for not killing everyone. When Rick turns him down he uses a baseball bat wrapped in barb wire named Lucille to beat to death fan favorite Glenn as Rick, Maggie, and the rest of the survivors watch helplessly as Negan taunts them, saying things like “He is taking it like a champ”.

The Saviors are a mix between a biker gang and a psycho cult and Negan is the most ruthless one of them all, using fear to exploit supplies and loyalty out of the members as their leader. He does the same to the Alexandria and Rick as well as the surrounding communities that we can look forward to coming soon as well. The Hilltop also appears around this time in the comics and that brings about the arrival of resourceful badass Paul Monroe aka Jesus. Tom Payne was announced to be playing Jesus back in September bringing the assurance we will be seeing him at some point during the second half.

Not long ago it was announced that Jeffery Dean Morgan has been casted to play Negan and will appear during the second half when it returns in February. For those of us that read the comic, it will be a long winter break waiting to find out how this is going to play out on the small screen. Looks like there is going to be a lot of itch a**es until The Walking Dead returns.

In case you missed the sneak peek, watch it here: 

 

Posted by Nicole Robinson in MONSTERS AND CREATURES, REVIEWS, SERIES REVIEWS, ZOMBIES, 0 comments