“Death Race”

TV: Blood Drive (2017)

TV: Blood Drive (2017)

With their newest offering Blood Drive, the SyFy Channel makes the jump onto the horror series bandwagon by adding their own dark, twisted, and yet hip show to the mix.
Everyone who knows me also knows that I’m not much of a TV person. I’ve always been a movie kind of guy. Over the past few years, yes, I will admit there have been some very appealing shows. Bates Motel, The Exorcist, Ash vs Evil Dead, and Hellavator – very entertaining and I loved the concept of the show, and, most recently, American Gods.
Plus, I love seeing that more and more horror style shows are coming to the surface. It proves that horror is alive and well! When I first heard of Blood Drive and saw that it was a SyFy Channel series, I swore I heard taps playing far off in the distance. To me, the SyFy Channel (no offense to anyone), seems to put out the worst original shows ever made. They’re just pure low budget, badly acted piles of shit! Many people actually eat those kind of shows up, and more power to you, but they’re not for me.
Then I then saw the trailer for Blood Drive, and I have to admit that I was really taken by the quality of what I saw – good looking quality, great looking quality actually, high action, acting looking passable, and BLOOD…lots of blood!!!
The premise of Blood Drive is a race where people are forced to participate. Once the race has begun, it’s win or die. There’s a catch, you see, because the cars are fueled with human blood. So it is not only a race; it’s a race to stay alive as the blood that fuels your ride is that of your competitors.

The Blood Drive Facebook page calls it the “BLOODIEST SHOW ON EARTH” and welcomes all perverts, nymphos, freaks, and felons while also proclaiming , “finally a show for cannibals and psychopaths”!
I must admit that the show looks pretty damn good…kind of a Death Race, The Road Warrior, and The Fast and the Furious got together in an ugly threesome and the result was this bastard child. The show has a deliberate grindhouse feel to it as well. I like that! Who knows? Maybe this will be the SyFy show to win me over.
The show premiered Wednesday, June 14th, so check back Sunday for a review from Brenda Wilder Antlitz.
*Editor’s Note: We will have a review of Blood Drive soon and apologize for the misunderstanding.
-Woofer McWooferson, Editor-in-Chief
Keep It Evil
Blood Drive / Fair use doctrine.
Posted by John Roisland in TELEVISION REVIEWS, 0 comments
FILM REVIEW: ANARCHY PARLOR

FILM REVIEW: ANARCHY PARLOR

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By: John Roisland

Anarchy Parlor is the story  of a few friends on vacation in Vilnius, Lithuania. While out one night  partying, one of the guys runs into a long blonde haired heavily tattooed young lady by the name of  Uta, played by Sara Fabel (Gang Busters) who is  very aggressive with the guy, and mentions that she is an apprentice at a local tattoo shop. With this being said, immediately he and one of his friends goes with the girl back to the tattoo parlor, so he can try to put the moves on his new found love, and his friend…well she wants to get a tattoo to remember their trip by.

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When the three of them alive at the tattoo parlor the guy and Uta go downstairs for a quick little fuck fest while the girl Amy, played by Tiffany DeMarco (Raze, Its Dark Here) stays and waits for the artist, played by Robert LaSardo (Death Race, Human Centipede III, Strangeland , Nip/Tuck). LaSardo and Amy speak for a while getting to know each other, earning a trust amongst them, and decides on a small tattoo to get. Downstairs, Uta has now drugged our young friend and is passed out unconscious. As LaSardo finishes his tattoo on Amy, she passes out from the drug he put into her drink.

The morning after, the rest of the  friends come looking for their now lost friends who were last seen going to this tattoo shop. When they get there, they are of course told that they were there, but had left in the wee hours of the night.  The group leaves, very upset and angered…they are sure their friends are in that shop!

Meanwhile, down in the basement better known as a dungeon if you will, we find LaSardo and our apprentice with our new victims tied to a slab strip down to their underwear lying on their stomachs. It is here that we find out the real meaning of Anarchy Parlor. LaSardo and his apprentice perform the art of cutting the skin from the backs of their victims claiming it to be the purest form of canvas. Meanwhile our other friends have made their way back to the tattoo shop forcing their way in claiming that they know that their friends are here as they searched throughout the building they find a body hung in the basement, with Amy still on the slab.

It is explained  by LaSardo’s character that he has  been hired to do portraits, of all the members of the oldest and wealthiest family in Lithuania. But the portraits are to be done…on the purest form of canvas there is.  Hence the reason why LaSardo skins his victims.

The movie overall was highly entertaining! It sadly enough will not win any awards although I must say on a high point that Robert Lasardo’s  character I think was written for him. He absolutely nailed this performance. Having had the pleasure of meeting and personally speaking with Robert LaSardo a few times, I can tell you that many personality traits in his character are  very, very similar to Robert’s own mannerisms in real life, (and I say this with the utmost respect) Lasardo is a very well spoken gentleman, who chooses his words wisely…so did his character. He obviously put a lot into his role.  So I definitely must  give hug props to my friend Mr. LaSardo on his performance.

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There are some decent blood and gore scenes in the film,  watching somebody get skinned kinda makes you cringe a little bit. There is small feel of Hostel during the film, but not one to make you say its a rip off. I did enjoy the ending…I like where they went with it, that’s all I’m gonna  say about that!

The film was both written and directed by Devon Downs and Kenny Gage and brought to you from A Team Entertainment.

I recommend giving Anarchy Parlor a shot, and next time you’re in a tattoo shop…you might not want to go wandering around.

 

Keep It Evil.

 

Posted by John Roisland in Categories, 1 comment
HALLOWEEN HORRORS: Strangeland (1998)

HALLOWEEN HORRORS: Strangeland (1998)

By John Roisland

Strangeland

October 2, 1998, was a time when people were still learning about the Internet and body modification was really breaking through. Director John Pieplow brings us Strangeland.

The story is about “Captain Howdy” (played by Dee Snider of rock band Twisted Sister, who also wrote and produced the film), a sadist Internet predator who invites other internet friends over for a party, where they soon meet their end.

Kevin Gage (Heat, Blow, G.I. Jane, Laid to Rest) the town sheriff is quick on the case after his daughter, played by Linda Cardellini (Grandma’s Boy, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Freaks and Geeks), falls to the hands of Captain Howdy.

The chase continues to find Howdy, and the scenes of the torture with his victims and his own self mutilation are actually pretty impressive. A few scenes are actual text book history of how different cultures used different devices to either torture or elevate one to a higher sense body limitations.

Now I’m not saying its the best film ever made…it’s not. At moments its actually kinda slow. But I will give Dee props on his first attempt and writing, producing and starring in….he put forth a very valiant effort. At the box office, this film actually lost money. If not for its huge impact as a cult classic…it would have been a complete bomb!

It offers a pretty impressive cast, aside from Dee Snyder, Kevin Gage and Linda Cardellini it also stars Elizabeth Pena (Jacobs Ladder, Down in the Valley, Things Behind the Sun), Brett Harrelson (The People vs. Larry Flynt, From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money), Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street, Wishmaster, Urban Legend, 2001 Maniacs, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon), Amy Smart(The Butterfly Effect, Crank, Just Friends, Starsky and Hutch) and Robert Lasardo (Death Race, The Human Centipede III, Anarchy Parlor, Nip/Tuck). Now with this line up, one would expect a little more…but they only acted in it

For those head bangers out there like myself, the film did have a pretty kick fucking ass soundtrack though: Bile, Pantera, Megadeth, Coal Chamber, Anthrax, Soul Fly and Hed PE to name a few.

I can’t say this is honestly on my every year must watch Halloween films…but it is always this time of year when I do think about it the most. Does that count?

I REALLY want to say better things about the film, but sadly it is what it is, a great idea, that just wasn’t executed to its fullest potential.

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“So much flesh…so little time”- Captain Howdy

Posted by John Roisland in HoTS HALLOWED HALLOWEEN HORRORS, IN THE SPOTLIGHT, MOVIE REVIEWS, STAFF PICKS, 0 comments