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By The Crimson Executioner
Woofer McWooferson
Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!
Happy Thanksgiving to all our friends in THE VORTEXX! We have a great line-up of hosts, shows, and movies for your holiday pleasure, including one new movie making its Vortexx debut on Friday, along with an all-day Double Turkey Day Marathon at the Peninsula of Horror on Saturday and a Misty Brew Fangsgiving Special on Sunday to conclude the holiday weekend. On Wednesday we will announce the winner of our prestigious Golden Turkey Award for Horror Host of the Year. An All-Day Marathon of the recipient's shows will begin immediately after the award is announced culminating in a brand-new show by our award-winner on Thanksgiving Day.
Our hosts are Arachna & Deadly and Ron Purtee on Sunday, Vincent Grimmly & Phydeaux on Monday, Freakshow & the Bordello gang on Tuesday, Bobby Gammonster & Boris the Buzzard on Wednesday, Scarlett Kaiju & CJ the Werewolf on Friday, Professor Gillman and Master Vyle at the Peninsula on Saturday, Misty Brew next Sunday -- and, of course, our Golden Turkey winner (who may be one of the hosts previously mentioned or, then again, maybe not) on Thanksgiving Day itself.
CHRISTMAS DADDY will make all your Christmas wishes come true!
Christmas is little more than a month away, and that means our very own bearer of Yuletide gifts CHRISTMAS DADDY will be coming to The Vortexx soon to make your Christmas wishes come true. A new slack module . . . a membership in the Puppy of the Month Club . . . a Dr Lady action figure . . . a singing Sluggo plushie that also does lap dances. . . . Those are just a few of the wonderful gifts that Christmas Daddy has given to our viewers in years past. Whatever your wish may be this year, just send an e-mail to Christmas Daddy at The Vortexx North Pole and he'll do his very best to make it happen. You can reach Christmas Daddy at

Sunday (11/20). 9:00 P.M. (ET) [Time approximate.]

BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another cinematic gem from the Golden Age of Black & White -- THE MESA OF LOST WOMEN (1953) starring Jackie (Uncle Fester) Coogan and George (Ro Man) Barrows in one of his rare non-gorilla roles. It's got mad scientists, gigantic spiders, voluptuous women, and dwarfs! How can any movie with a combination like that possibly go wrong? Join us tonight and you'll find out. [Movie poster by Sean Hartter courtesy of Saturday Fright Special.]

Sunday (11/20). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
WOLF COP (2014)

Please Note: Arachna's show will be preceded by a MOVIE HOUSE HOT TAKE with Ron Purtee. Tonight Ron takes a few moments to talk about the Canadian horror-comedy WOLF COP (2014).

Monday (11/21). 9:00 P.M. (ET)

NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE with Vincent Grimmly and his co-host Phydeaux presents a Vortexx favorite -- HORROR EXPRESS (1972) starring Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, and Telly (Kojak) Savalas. Our three stars find themselves traveling on the Trans-Siberian Express, accompanied by the frozen remains of a primitive humanoid creature who, needless to say, doesn't stay frozen for long. As always, Vincent has added some pizzazz to the mix with numerous sound inserts and other extras. Meanwhile back at Castle Pappdeckel, Phydeaux comes down with a fatal case of the bird flu. Is Phydeaux REALLY dead? Find out tonight in this fun episode.

Tuesday (11/22). 9:00 P.M. (ET)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt and Marijohuana celebrates its 100th episode with a Vortexx favorite -- SPIDER BABY (1968). In one of the best roles of his career, Lon Chaney, Jr., stars as Bruno, the caretaker of three orphaned siblings who suffer from "Merrye Syndrome" - a rare disease which causes them to mentally, socially, and physically regress backwards. Lon also sings the title song as the opening credits roll! Sid Haig, Carol Ohmart, and Mantan Moreland co-star. Tonight's episode was filmed at the October 1 live show at the Al. Ringling Theatre in Baraboo, Wisconsin.

Wednesday (11/23). 9:00 P.M. (ET)

MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT with Bobby Gammonster and Boris the Buzzard presents DOMINIQUE IS DEAD (1979). Academy Award winner Cliff Robertson, who could play good guys (including an American president) and bad guys with equal ease, stars as a greedy husband who drives his wife (Golden Globe and Emmy Award winner Jean Simmons) to suicide so that he can get his hands on her fortune . . . only to find out that she has come back from the dead to haunt him! Dominique is dead, all right. She's all messed up. Jenny Agutter, Simon Ward, Ron Moody, Judy Geeson, and Flora Robson round out a strong cast in this British made-for-television horror-mystery-thriller.

Wednesday (11/23). 11:00 P.M. (ET) [Time approximate.]
The Vortexx

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring to you . . . THE GOLDEN TURKEY AWARD FOR 2016! The Golden Turkey Award is the highest honor The Vortexx can bestow upon a horror host. Each year one host is selected from among all the fine hosts whose shows have aired on our channel as the recipient of this prestigious award. Previous winners have been Victor von Scary, Justy Ghost, Floyd Cadaverous, Freakshow, Bobby Gammonster, and Cnl. Graves. Who will be the next host to join this prestigious group? Come by tonight and find out!

Wednesday (11/23). 11:15 P.M. (ET) [Time approximate.]
The Vortexx

Be sure to stick around after the award ceremonies for THE GOLDEN TURKEY DAY MARATHON featuring four movies hosted by this year's award winner. Obviously we can't tell you the name of the winner or the names of the movies, because that would ruin the whole surprise. But we'll be posting a promo on the Vortexx group page and the Vortexx fan page Wednesday night as soon as the award is announced. The marathon will run from approx 11:15 P.M. on Wednesday until 9:00 P.M. on Thursday.

Thursday (11/24). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
The 2016 Golden Turkey Day Award Winner
EEGAH! (1962)

Now that Thanksgiving is almost over and you've had your fill of turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pie, come on by The Vortexx for our THANKSGIVING GOLDEN TURKEY DAY SPECIAL! Tonight we will be airing a brand-new episode hosted by the winner of the 2016 Golden Turkey Award. We can't tell you the name of the host, but we will tell you the name of the movie. It's none other than EEGAH! (1962) starring Sluggo's heartthrob Arch Hall, Jr. and co-starring Marilyn Manning. Arch and Marilyn play a couple of clean-cut teens named Tom and Roxy who stumble across a giant prehistoric caveman (Richard Jaws Kiel) in Bronson Canyon (the same place where Ro-Man cavorted a decade earlier). Roxy befriends the caveman and gives him a shave, and the big galoot falls in love with her. This is a love story that you know cannot end happily. Arch Hall, Sr., plays Roxy's dad, while Arch's mom (Addalyn Pollitt) and Ray Dennis Steckler (aka Cash Flagg) appear in smaller roles.

Friday (11/25). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
The Vortexx premiere of

MANSION of MYSTERY with special guest host Tripp Punter presents The Vortexx premiere of SLIPSTREAM (1989) directed by Steven (TRON) Lisberger. Bill Paxton (of Titanic and Aliens) stars as a bounty hunter in a dystopian future who kidnaps a murderer (Bob Peck) out of the hands of two police officers (Mark Hamill of Star Wars and Kitty Aldridge) so he can claim the bounty for himself. The two men travel among several bizarre societies with the police officers in hot pursuit. The strong supporting cast includes F. Murray Abraham (Amadeus), Robbie Coltrane (Harry Potter), and Ben Kingsley (Gandhi). Meanwhile our guest host Tripp Punter, leader of the Legends of Fifteen Minutes Ago, and his trusty A.I. Caiaphas set out to reassemble the team after the events of their last appearance in July. Their mission is complicated by a stowaway who mistakes Tripp for another, more famous time traveler, leading to a series of visits to other times and places, each housing a familiar face. The events of this fun episode, entitled "No Time Like the Future", lead into the epic season finale, coming next month.

Saturday (11/26). 3:30 P.M. (ET)

Welcome to the THE PENINSULA OF HORROR'S DOUBLE TURKEY DAY MARATHON! Our good friends at the Peninsula of Horror -- the showcase for Florida's finest horror hosts -- will be airing a full day and night of shows presented by PROFESSOR GILLMAN SHOW and HOUSE OF MASTER VYLE PRESENTS. We guarantee that each show will be a turkey fit for Thanksgiving. The times below are approximate. A hosted chat will begin, as always, at 8:00 P.M.
  • Saturday (11/26). 3:30 P.M. (ET) – WOMEN IN THE NIGHT (1948) – A World War II melodrama set in Shanghai, China about group of women held prisoner at a German officer’s club. Hosted by Master Vyle.
  • Saturday (11/26). 6:00 P.M. (ET) – UFO: THE TRUE STORY OF FLYING SAUCERS (1956) – A pseudo-documentary about (you guessed it!) flying saucers. Hosted by Prof. Gillman.
  • Saturday (11/26). 8:00 P.M. (ET) – THE ROBOT VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY (1958) One of K. Gordon Murray’s many Mexican imports. Hosted by Prof. Gillman.
  • Saturday (11/26). 9:00 P.M. (ET) – THE MESA OF LOST WOMEN (1953) Starring Jackie (Uncle Fester) Coogan and George (Ro-Man) Barrows. Hosted by Master Vyle.
  • Saturday (11/26). 10:45 P.M. (ET) – TEENAGERS BATTLE THE THING (1958) A movie about a mummified ape that was re-released 18 years later with extra footage as Curse of Bigfoot. Hosted by Prof. Gillman.
  • Saturday (11/26). 12:00 P.M. (ET) – THE RIDERS OF THE WHISTLING SKULL (1937) A supernatural western starring The Three Mesquiteers (Bob Livingston, Ray “Crash” Corrigan, and ventriloquist Max Terhune). Hosted by Master Vyle.

Sunday (11/27). 9:00 P.M. (ET)

We end our Thanksgiving Weekend with MISTY BREW'S FANGSGIVING SPECIAL! Tonight Misty will be presenting an assortment of holiday treats, including a cartoon short, vintage TV ads, a 30-second turkey drop, turkey dressing tips from Misty, and a music break with Black Oak Arkansas, and much, much more! George Burns & Gracie Allen will also be dropping in for dinner tonight. It's gonna be a lot of fun, so don't miss out!
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