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By The Crimson Executioner
Woofer McWooferson

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS! We've got a great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies coming your way this week including several shows with political themes in keeping with the election season. FOUR movies will be making their Vortexx debut, including a Formerly Crappics Election Eve Special on Monday, a Bordello of Horror Election Day Special on Tuesday, a political thriller with many guest hosts on Mansion of Mystery on Friday , and a freaking hilarious episode of Alternative Realities on Saturday. For the remainder of the week, we have Roger Corman, Arch Hall, Jr., Klaus Kinski, and Bela Lugosi. Our hosts this week are Arachna & Deadly, Freezer Mortis, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Edgar von Ghoul, Mr. Lobo, Scarlett Kaiju & CJ the Werewolf, Dr. Sigmund Zoid & Sluggo, and Misty Brew. And be sure to check our Sponsors section for a great deal on Vortexx tee shirts! Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

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BEWARE THEATER returns to The Vortexx with a brand-new episode and another classic from the Golden Age of Black & White. Tonight Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly are hosting Roger Corman's CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA (1961). Anthony Carbone, doing his best Bogie imitation, plays small-time crook Renzo Capetto who hatches a scheme to steal the national treasury of a Caribbean island with the help of a mythical sea monster -- who turns out to be real. Betsy Jones-Moreland plays Renzo's girlfriend Mary-Belle Monahan. Ed Wain (actually Academy Award winning screenwriter Robert Towne) is agent Sparks Moran. Beach Dickerson steals every scene he's in as a guy who communicates with animal noises. Don't expect to be scared, because it's all played for laughs.

Monday (11/07). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
and The Vortexx premiere of
1984 (1984)

As the election season draws to an end, we all have a very crucial decision to make on this important evening. Are you going to watch cable or network news. . . . Or are you going to watch THE FORMERLY CRAPPICS ELECTION EVE SPECIAL with Freezer Mortis. Tonight Freezer will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of 1984, made in the year 1984 and starring John Hurt and Richard Burton. Much like the George Orwell novel, this film adaptation is bleak and dreary but it's created that way on purpose, unlike the usual bleak and dreary fare we air in The Vortexx. Freezer feels that tonight's movie doesn't emphasize the concept of "Ministries" quite as much as the novel, so he's going to remedy that deficiency with some special guest hosts, who will be reporting from various Ministries about what was actually happening in the year 1984. So those are your choices, folks. We hope you choose what you believe is best for yourself, your family, and our country.

Tuesday (11/08). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
and The Vortexx premiere of

Join us tonight for a BORDELLO OF HORROR ELECTION DAY SPECIAL! As the election returns roll in, Freakshow will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of Mike Davis's PRESIDENT WOLFMAN (2012). The President of the United States has been bitten by a werewolf and is loose on the streets of Washington on a killing rampage! This comedy-horror political satire is based on the 1973 movie Werewolf of Washington, which has been re-cut, re-dubbed, and beefed up with additional footage culled from more than one hundred government instructional shorts, classroom education movies, vintage stag reels, and other features that have fallen out of copyright -- and out of public favor. This is a one-of-a-kind movie that you won't want to miss!

Wednesday (11/09). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
Starring Arch Hall, Jr.

Arch Hall, Jr. returns to The Vortexx as MIDNIGHT CHILLERS with Edgar von Ghoul presents THE SADIST (1963). The character Arch plays in tonight's movie is definitely not the clean-cut, wholesome guy you saw in Eegah and Wild Guitar. In what is undoubtedly the best (and by far the scariest) movie role of his career, Arch plays crazed serial killer Charlie Tibbs, inspired by real life killer Charles Starkweather. Marilyn Manning (who played Arch's girlfriend Roxy in Eegah) is his teenage girlfriend Judy (inspired by Stark's real-life honey Caril Fugate) who's even more whacked out than he is. Together, Charlie and Judy terrorize a trio of high school teachers, who are on their way to a Dodgers game in Los Angeles when their car experiences engine trouble and they're forced to pull off the road to the gas station/junkyard where the two killers happen to be hiding out. Arch's convincing performance, a taut script and decent direction by James Landis, and outstanding camera work by soon-to-be famous cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond make this one our favorite Arch Hall, Jr. movie.

Thursday (11/10). 9:00 P.M. (ET)


CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents CREATURE (1985). One of the many Alien rip-offs that popped up during the 1980s (they even used the same special-effects team), this movie at least benefits from an all-too-brief appearance by the great Klaus Kinski, a good musical score, a dash of nudity, and some pretty gory special effects (exploding heads, etc.). It's about some astronauts who land on Titan (the largest moon of Saturn) and encounter an alien being who transforms some of them into parasite-infected zombies (think Planet of the Vampires meets Night of the Living Dead). You can be sure that Mr. Lobo will add just enough spice to turn this cheese ball of a movie into a tasty treat!

Friday (11/11). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
The Vortexx premiere of

The election may be over, but the political intrigue continues as MANSION OF MYSTERY with Scarlett Kaiju and CJ the Werewolf presents A VERY VORTEXX . . . KIDNAPPING?? Sluggo Gonzales, our Dear Leader and freely elected President of The Vortexx, has mysteriously disappeared. But not to worry, Scarlett and CJ are on the case, tracking down an all-star list of horror-host suspects to find out the truth. While our two hosts are thus engaged, Mrs. O'Brien, Mittens, and Ralphie stay behind in the Mansion to host The Vortexx premiere of THE KIDNAPPING OF THE PRESIDENT (1980) starring William (Capt. Kirk) Shatner as an intrepid U.S. Secret Service agent battling terrorists who have abducted the President of the United States (Hal Holbrook) during a diplomatic mission to Toronto. Veteran actors Van Johnson and Ava Gardner also star. Will Capt. Kirk and Scarlett & CJ succeed in rescuing the two presidents? If you're a fan of horror hosts (and who in The Vortexx isn't?), this is one episode you can't afford to miss!

Saturday (11/12). 8:00 P.M. (ET)
The Vortexx premiere of

ALTERNATIVE REALITIES with Dr. Sigmund Zoid and Sluggo presents The Vortexx premiere of Guy Gilray's SCREAM OF THE SASQUATCH (2006). It's a family-friendly comedy (i.e., no harsh language or sexual content) about some morons hunting for Bigfoot and the challenges they face along the way. Renowned anthropologist and Bigfoot expert Dr. Seymour Rimbaud adds a veneer of respectability to the proceedings, discussing the possibility that Bigfoot might be real. Meanwhile back at Alternative Realities, Dr. Zoid discovers that a Sasquatch is on the loose in The Vortexx, and he enlists the services of veteran gator wrassler Virgil Grissom to track him down. Oregon-born artist-musician Guy Gilray, whose 2010 film It Came For Friendship But Found Food was a big hit when it aired in The Vortexx last January, shot tonight's film at Mount Hood National Forest in Oregon on an estimated budget of $5,000.

Sunday (11/13). 9:00 P.M. (ET)


MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents WHITE ZOMBIE (1932) starring Bela Lugosi. It's the first zombie movie ever -- and still arguably one of the best! Fresh from his success in Dracula, Lugosi plays the evil Murder Legendre, who can control people with a little white powder, a hand clench, and a nasty glare. In addition to great sets (borrowed from Universal) and lots of living dead (courtesy of master makeup man Jack Pierce), there's some pretty weird music, some of it by Xavier Cugat. [Bela Lugosi artwork courtesy of Bradley Beard.]

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