John Kassir

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover
Part 1 of 3: Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas

Tales from the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

Tales from the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

As December rolls on more winter holidays overtake us, some might like to bust out holiday tunes with a bit of a macabre and maniacal bent than is offered from mass-marketed traditional holiday tunes. Three holiday favorites around our house are Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas a 1994 release from Tales from the Crypt, A Very Scary Solstice, and An Even Scarier Solstice 2003 and 2006 releases from the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society. These three beauties are must-haves for the lover of horror holiday carols.

This first of three reviews examines Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas, a wonderfully creepy featuring carols sung by the Cryptkeeper (John Kassir), from traditional tunes to a Christmas rap, and each song is guaranteed to amuse horror lovers in every home. Here’s a list of the tracks and a brief description of each:

1. Intro to album (0:51) Exactly what it sounds like.
2.”Deck The Halls With Parts of Charlie” (1:55) The joys of using body parts to “Deck the Halls”.
3. “Juggle Bills” (3:17) Santa’s not going to “Jingle Bells” this season.
4. “We Wish You’d Bury the Misses” (2:20) Christmas present for self interferes with property values.
5. “Moe Teitlebaum” (2:32) What’s more Christmassy than embalming? (To the tune “O Tannenbaum”/”O Christmas Tree”)
6. A Christmas Card for the Cryptkeeper (0:51) Spoken Christmas poem from Hannibal the Cannibal.
7. “Christmas Rap” (3:22) Rappin’ to “Jolly Ol’ St. Nicholas”, the Cryptkeeper outlines the gifts he would like for Santa to brin his creepy friends.
8. Intro to Cryptkeeper’s Family Christmas (0:32) Exactly what it sounds like.
9. “Cryptkeeper’s Family Christmas” (2:03) The Cryptkeeper describes holiday dinner with his family to the tune of “Good King Wenceslas”.
10. “T’was the Fright Before Christmas” (3:55) The Cryptkeeper reads his own version of “’Twas the Night Before Christmas”.
11. “Twelve Days of Cryptmas” (3:42) What can you get your love this Cryptmas?
12. Intro to Revenge of the Cryptkeeper (0:24) Exactly what it sounds like.
13. “Revenge of the Cryptkeeper” (2:18) To the tune of “Up on the Housetop”, The Cryptkeeper describes his dream of stopping Santa’s giving spree.
14. “Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas” (2:21) Homey story of a man who does anything to get home for Christmas (over the Cryptkeeper singing to the tune of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”).
15. “Should Old Cadavers Be Forgot” (3:38) The Cryptkeeper ushers out the old year with a cadaverous parody of “Auld Lang Syne”.

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas comes with an exclusive Christmas comic and can be enjoyed throughout the holiday season and all year long! If you’re lucky, one of the copies available on Amazon will still be available when you read this…

8/10 – Fun for young and old!

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover: Scary Little Christmas

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover: Scary Little Christmas

Holiday Tunes for the Horror Lover
Part 1 of 3: Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas

Tales from the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

Tales from the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

As December rolls on more winter holidays overtake us, some might like to bust out holiday tunes with a bit of a macabre and maniacal bent than is offered from mass-marketed traditional holiday tunes. Three holiday favorites around our house are Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas a 1994 release from Tales from the Crypt, A Very Scary Solstice, and An Even Scarier Solstice 2003 and 2006 releases from the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society. These three beauties are must-haves for the lover of horror holiday carols.

This first of three reviews examines Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas, a wonderfully creepy featuring carols sung by the Cryptkeeper (John Kassir), from traditional tunes to a Christmas rap, and each song is guaranteed to amuse horror lovers in every home. Here's a list of the tracks and a brief description of each:

1. Intro to album (0:51) Exactly what it sounds like.
2."Deck The Halls With Parts of Charlie" (1:55) The joys of using body parts to “Deck the Halls”.
3. "Juggle Bills" (3:17) Santa's not going to "Jingle Bells" this season.
4. "We Wish You'd Bury the Misses" (2:20) Christmas present for self interferes with property values.
5. "Moe Teitlebaum" (2:32) What's more Christmassy than embalming? (To the tune "O Tannenbaum"/"O Christmas Tree")
6. A Christmas Card for the Cryptkeeper (0:51) Spoken Christmas poem from Hannibal the Cannibal.
7. "Christmas Rap" (3:22) Rappin' to “Jolly Ol' St. Nicholas”, the Cryptkeeper outlines the gifts he would like for Santa to brin his creepy friends.
8. Intro to Cryptkeeper's Family Christmas (0:32) Exactly what it sounds like.
9. "Cryptkeeper's Family Christmas" (2:03) The Cryptkeeper describes holiday dinner with his family to the tune of “Good King Wenceslas".
10. "T'was the Fright Before Christmas" (3:55) The Cryptkeeper reads his own version of “'Twas the Night Before Christmas”.
11. "Twelve Days of Cryptmas" (3:42) What can you get your love this Cryptmas?
12. Intro to Revenge of the Cryptkeeper (0:24) Exactly what it sounds like.
13. "Revenge of the Cryptkeeper" (2:18) To the tune of “Up on the Housetop”, The Cryptkeeper describes his dream of stopping Santa's giving spree.
14. "Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas" (2:21) Homey story of a man who does anything to get home for Christmas (over the Cryptkeeper singing to the tune of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”).
15. "Should Old Cadavers Be Forgot" (3:38) The Cryptkeeper ushers out the old year with a cadaverous parody of “Auld Lang Syne”.

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas comes with an exclusive Christmas comic and can be enjoyed throughout the holiday season and all year long! If you're lucky, one of the copies available on Amazon will still be available when you read this...

8/10 – Fun for young and old!

Posted by Alan Smithee in MUSIC REVIEWS, REVIEWS, 0 comments