MOVIE REVIEW: The Lazarus Effect (2015)

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By Nick Durham

Do you want to see some of the worst that mainstream horror has to offer? Look no further than The Lazarus Effect. A shit-stained retread of Flatliners that features a very talented cast all amounts to a total waste of 83 minutes of your life. Seriously, I can't shit on this movie enough, even if I tried. I could eat a full course meal from motherfucking Taco Bell and I still wouldn't have enough shit to spew towards amalgamation of awfulness.

Frank (Mark Duplass) and Zoe (Olivia Wilde) are an engaged couple that are working on a serum to bring the recently deceased back to life. Their assistants range from an annoying smoker (Evan Peters), a tech guy/shitty comic relief (Donald Glover), and camera girl (Sarah Bolger) that doesn't do much besides look hot. All five of these actors on their own are talented, but all five of them are phoning it in so hard in their performances as shitty stock characters that we literally don't give two shits about what happens to them. Ray Wise is here too in a blink and you'll miss him cameo, but in that literal minute and a half screen time he has, he gives the most memorable performance out of the whole fucking crew.

After bringing a dog back from the other side, bad things happen, and eventually Zoe finds herself among the recently deceased. Why not try this new miracle on her? She comes back, and one by one, everyone gets picked off. It's so damn predictable that you will be able to figure out who gets whacked when, and even with the attempt of giving Zoe some kind of character arc thanks to a traumatic experience in her childhood, nothing helps elevate The Lazarus Effect as anything more than being cheap, easily digestible, mainstream horror bullshit that deserves none of your time. Not to mention that even though the film is predictable, it's also flat-out boring and anything but scary. I caught this on Netflix recently out of sheer boredom, and I wish I'd spent my time doing something more constructive, like watch my cock get smaller.

So yeah, in case you can't tell, I didn't like The Lazarus Effect. Everyone involved in this deserves better, and goddammit, I deserve better for sitting through it. Fuck this movie. No wait, you know what? Don't fuck this movie and don't let your friends fuck this movie either; it's un-fuck-worthy.

Rating: 1/5

Posted by Alan Smithee


Lmao! Right on!..KK

See whilst The Lazarus Effect isn’t the best, it does have some nice ideas thrown in with competent acting. You think this is the worst cinema has to offer? Believe me there’s a lot worse out there waiting for you, watch Sickle, then you might appreciate this on some small level.

Oh no, I have seen much worse than “The Lazarus Effect”, I’m shitting on this so much mainly because of the fact that this film takes a potentially good premise and wastes it. Plus it wastes an otherwise talented cast of actors and the whole thing turns into a cliché-ridden bore. I don’t mind bad movies, but I’ve seen truly terrible films that are anything but boring, and I would recommend any of them over this film.

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