MOVIE REVIEW: Maggie (2015)

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By Nick Durham

I really want to see that horror/drama film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger…file that under things I’d never, ever think I’d ever hear myself say.

Maggie had received a lot of press since its inception, mainly because it features Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger as the lead in a zombie that doesn’t feature him taking down hordes of the undead. Instead, it’s a subdued drama about a mid-western (yet Austrian accented) farmer trying to take care of his bitten daughter (Abigail Breslin) as the whole world begins a descent into hell. By all rights and purposes, such a film should not exist, but here we are.

Maggie isn’t quite a horror film for the most part. It’s actually kind of hard to really classify this flick. The zombie element of course is rooted in horror, but the film is actually more of a drama…and holy shit is it a fucking depressing one at that. From the stark landscapes and haunting imagery, to the overall tone of the world this film is set in teetering on the verge of an apocalypse (yet the humans are still in control), this is where Maggie manages to succeed the most.

Now, let’s talk about the acting. Everyone’s made a big deal out of Ah-nold here, and with good reason. Believe it or not, he does fairly well here, and I can’t believe I’m actually typing those fucking words. If there’s one major flaw with having Arnold in the lead of a movie like this…well, it’s that he’s ARNOLD FUCKING SCHWARZENEGGER! No matter how old he is, no matter how much he manages to emote and actually put on a decent acting performance, I just can’t get away from the fact that he’s ARNOLD FUCKING SCHWARZENEGGER. This is The Terminator, this is Conan the motherfucking Barbarian, this is the ultimate action hero from the 80s and 90s and one of the most recognizable stars in the history of celluloid. Seeing him in a role like this, it’s just hard to separate him from his other screen personas and still take him seriously here, but that’s just me. Aside from Arnold, the rest of the cast does well, particularly Breslin as the doomed teenage daughter who is literally seeing herself rot away.

In closing, Maggie is an interesting dirge of zombie horror/drama, made all the more interesting because of its star. Arnold aside, this movie is worth watching if you want to see a zombie flick doing something different, which in itself is a nice change of pace. Still though, it’s nothing really special in the least, but I can think of way worse zombie movies, and Arnold movies, that could waste your time more.

Rating: 3/5

Posted by Alan Smithee

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