Krampus on the Mantle-Making Christmas Creepy and Fun

If you’re anything like me, you pass each December wondering why we have yet to get much in the way of hellacious half-pint horror films based off Elf on the Shelf. How has that creepy little tattle tale yet to inspire some Chucky-style slasher film, preferably involving stuffing a victim’s mouth with marshmallows till they burst, all the while flashing that stupid little smile?

But fear not, horror fanatics, for FYE has come up with a high counter to help quench our thirst for horror during the cuteness overload of the Yule season: Krampus on the Mantle. The European Christmas demon has officially arrived in the mainstream, thanks to his appearances in various media such as America Dad and The Colbert Report, but most notably the 2015 film. Now he comes right into your home in tiny form; his cured horns come to help add some hellacious hoots and hollers to your holiday.

Courtesy of FYE’s own website:

“Watch out kids, there’s a new Christmas tradition. Krampus is coming to town and he’s on a mission. Unlike St. Nick, who rewards good kids with toys, Krampus dishes out terror to bad girls and boys. Watching you, children, no need for a letter, Punishing naughty kids for ever and ever. Kids who are bad will be shaking in fear, But, too late, Krampus is already here. Sharp claws, pointed fangs and menacing horns. If he decides you were naughty, from this world you’ll be torn. When he comes for you, hear his chains and bells clank. You know you’re in trouble, this is definitely no prank. Thrown in his sack, no matter how much you yell, Won’t see a thing as he drags you to hell. Keeping you confined for an entire year. Punishment so awful, you’ll wish you weren’t here. Don’t want to see Krampus? Don’t give him a reason. Be good all year long. Survive the Christmas season. See old St. Nick and all the joy that he brings. Opening presents by the tree while everyone joyfully sings. Don’t do bad things, and always remember, Krampus is watching. He’ll be back next December!”

Although this depiction is a bit off from the big guy’s traditional appearance in greeting cards and woodcuts, it still does his general appearance justice. While he is not typically depicted wearing the mock Santa hat and coat, the cloven hoof, gnarled talons, and protruding horns are all present. His gleeful growl of Grinch-like menace and beady red eyes should help to keep even the most insubordinate of children in line-or encourage the genuinely adventurous to new heights of naughtiness. Parents looking to introduce their children to the delights of Holiday Horror should keep an eye out!

Posted by Daniel Ryan

I am a 36 year old man from New Jersey with a lifelong passion for horror, science fiction, true crime, and cryptozoology. I will do my utmost to be a worthwhile contributor to House of Tortured Souls.

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