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MOVIE REVIEW: Santa’s Slay (2005)

 

By : John Roisland

Santa's Slay poster

Made by Media 8 Entertainment and Rat Entertainment.

In his writer/directorial debut, David Steiman,  brings you his 2005 horror/comedy Santa's Slay.

The story is based around two teenage kids, Douglas Smith (Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters, Terminator: Genisys) and Emilie de Ravin (Once Upon a Time, The Hills Have Eyes (2006)), who must save their small town of Hell, Michigan from being destroyed by...you guessed it! Santa!

The movie opens with probably one of the best, comedic openings, at least in a...horror...comedy film..? I don't know, but the opening is awesome! Its a nice fancy holiday diner with the likings of James Caan, (Misery, Elf) who is uncredited in this film, Fran Drescher ( The Nanny, The Beautician and the Beast), Chris Kattan ( A Night at the Roxbury), Rebecca Gayheart (Urban Legend, Jawbreaker) as they all sit at the table, yelling, insulting , fondling each other, in just a way, to make Santa's naughty list.  Well , guess who comes down the chimney to take care of those bad boys and girls...Santa, played by famous WWE wrestler, Bill Goldberg (The Longest Yard,  Ready to Rumble) has at the family with death by turkey drumstick, Christmas tree star thrown to the back of the skull, and being set on fire...yeah, I think that about wraps it up.

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The story then moves on to the grandfather of one of our teens, Robert Culp (The Greatest American Hero) , who is turns out, actually an angel , who some many many years ago, made a winning bet with Santa that he had to be nice to all mankind and give gifts at Christmas instead of mean and angry. Well the bet had ran its tolls and time was up. Santa was back to wreak havoc! Hence the name, Santa's Slay !

Santa flies thru their in his sleigh pulled by a carnivorous bison, who eats a valet at a strip club that Santa stops by to spread his holiday fear to all the bad girls working there. With Christmas ornament hand grenades, he definitely had something to put in their stockings!

This film is so bad it awesome! The soundtrack sounds if they used contestants from a karaoke bar and the special effects are awful, ...these are all small parts of what give this film its charm.

I will say, Goldberg was really good! Yes, he did some wrestling moves and it was easy to spot them, but honestly, for a bad Santa he pretty much nailed it...quite the Billy Bob Thorton, Bad Santa...but pretty damn good!

Now, I'm not going to tell you to run out and get this movie if you haven't seen it, cause its not worth it, but it is a fun movie. Santa's Slay  is much more comedy than horror, but people are murdered ,...so there is that ! But if you happen to be going to a holiday party,....the kind where everyone's going to be getting tanked, this might be the movie to bring with.

The film also stars Dave Thomas (Grace Under Fire/ Strange Brew),  who plays a naughty town priest, and Saul Rubinek ( Unforgiven, True Romance) who is the teens boss at a local Jewish deli and not a Santa supporter.

 

3/10

Keep It Evil

 

Posted by John Roisland

Horror fan bringing my love for the genre to world in as many forms I can- website, podcast, vlogs, and coming soon, producer! Through this, I am living my nightmarish dreams. Join me.... if you can handle it!

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