Scary Good Drinks-Fat Bastard Bloody Red


Summer may have only just begun, but for any horror fanatic the mind is already venturing three months into the future to that first whips of autumn air and the first hint of the Halloween season to come.

Fortunate for us, retail doesn’t wait.

And what better way to prepare than with a nice glass of Fat Bastard Bloody Red.  Pardon, I meant PHAT Bastard, because that is surely what this wine is.  A popular table wine at a reasonable price, Fat Bastard is best recognized for its great quality as an off the shelf brand, and for its memorable hippo mascot.  Its memorable name comes from its creator Thierry Boudinad, who, upon tasting the rich and full bodied vintage he had brewed, exclaimed “Now THAT’s a fat bastard!”

And boy was he right.

The legend for this bottle certainly makes some bold boasts: “Juicy and spicy, the ripe blood-red nectar stays long and rich in the mouth, much appreciated by Count Dracula for its resemblance to his favorite beverage. Bat stew and confit of calf brains are some of the wonderful classic combinations but as these exquisite specialties can be difficult to source today, perfectly delicious with grilled burgers, fried chicken, and pumpkin pie. Fat Bastard Bloody Red is remarkably impressive and plush!”

And thanks to this wine being so good, I’ll forego their lie, for thanks to Bela Lugosi we all know that Dracula never drank…wine.  But indeed, this would make a fine wine for a barbecue or hot summer evening on the porch as you await the coming fall.  While its color is far more purple than blood red, there is no denying the richness and boldness of its flavor.  It is far more fruity than most dry red wines, but not sugary enough to be considered a sangria.  Its lingering tang is testament to citrus fruits used in its brewing, and while there is little hint of spice you can surely detect the faint taste of wood barrel.

But by far this brand’s biggest selling point is its memorable label, changed each year to suit the season.  This year we enjoy a dark purple background littered with reaching zombie hands, wispy spider webs, and lurking ghosts as our yellow eyed not-so-happy hippo glances over his shoulder to dare us to partake.  Just looking at it puts me in the Halloween mood months ahead of time!

So while our favorite time of the year may be off yet, I invite you all to join me in pouring a glass and toasting the season to come.  Cheers!

Visit FAT BASTARD WINE to see what other great spirits they have to offer

Posted by Daniel Ryan

I am a 36 year old man from New Jersey with a lifelong passion for horror, science fiction, true crime, and cryptozoology. I will do my utmost to be a worthwhile contributor to House of Tortured Souls.

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