Abel Ferrara

We want to hear your thoughts!

HELLABRATION DELUXE! Thirty-One Days of SHOCKTOBER: Day Seven – 10/07/18

HELLABRATION DELUXE! Thirty-One Days of SHOCKTOBER: Day Seven – 10/07/18

10/07 – 1993: BODY SNATCHERS




Of the approximately half-dozen remakes there have been, since director DON SIEGEL first terrified the world with INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, based on Jack Finney’s timeless sci-fi terror tale, two standout versions are, for me, the smartest of the bunch. The first is PHILIP KAUFMAN’S dark satirizing of the San Francisco “self-awareness” scene back in 1978, and BODY SNATCHERS, the often-unsung version directed by genre favorite ABEL FERRARA (MS. .45, KING OF NEW YORK, FEAR CITY, BAD LIEUTENANT).  Ferrara’s ferocious, take-no-prisoners sensibility and dark sense of humor was a glove-like fit for an adaptation worked on by no less than five writers, which included STUART GORDON, DENNIS PAOLI and LARRY COHEN.

The oft-told story was still very flexible in terms of where it could be set and how it reflected the times in which it was being re-told. And what better place to set a story about assimilation, blind compliance and loss of identity, than on an ARMY BASE? Brilliant.






GABRIELLE ANWAR (SCENT OF A WOMAN) plays Marti Malone, the oldest daughter of the Malone family, along with dad Steve (TERRY KINNEY of HBO’S OZ), and little brother Andy (REILLY MURPHY).

As good as everyone is in the cast, though, the must-see performance of the film comes from…MEG TILLY as mom, Carol Malone. Yeah, the same Meg Tilly you knew from THE BIG CHILL is here to deliver a “bigger chill” of a totally different kind, with a monologue that’s as chilling as any pivotal “possession” scene in the other versions, including the original.

Filming at an actual base as well as the surrounding areas in Selma, Alabama, Ferrara and DP BOJAN BAZELLI (PUMPKINHEAD) were able to infuse this version of Finney’s story with the same sharp sense of dread and paranoia that is inherent in the other successful versions.


Other interested parties who become involved in the nightmarish events that begin to engulf both the soldiers on base and civilians alike, include characters played by BILLY WIRTH (THE LOST BOYS), CHRISTINE ELISE, (CHILD’S PLAY 2), R. LEE ERMEY (FULL METAL JACKET) and FOREST WHITAKER (THE CRYING GAME, A RAGE IN HARLEM).

There’s so much more I want to say about this ‘hidden’ gem, but once again, it’s one of those cases where the less I spoil for you, the better it will be if you’re seeing it for the first time. In fact, try doing a ‘double’ with this and the Kaufman version!

HELLABRATION DELUXE! Thirty-One Days of SHOCKTOBER: Day Five – 10/05/18

HELLABRATION DELUXE! Thirty-One Days of SHOCKTOBER: Day Five – 10/05/18


THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.  Or “When Starling Met Lecter.” Oh, yes.  The horror film that famously – or infamously – swept the Oscars. And no, I don’t give two shits in a high wind how people have tried to re-classify it: “psychological drama”, “police procedural”, “intense crime thriller.” Bullshit. When people like Larry Cohen, William Lustig and Abel Ferrara have made similarly-themed films, critics looked so far down their noses at those guys and their work, their condescending eyeballs nearly rolled out of their skulls. But because the film had a high-toned pedigree both in front of and behind the camera, they nearly broke their spines bending over backwards to call it anything else but what it is. And what it will always be to me: a very well-made horror film.

Unless you started cave-dwelling at the top of 1991 and hadn’t emerged until now, you know all about this masterpiece from late, great, extraordinary director JONATHAN DEMME: rookie FBI agent Clarice Starling (a peerless performance by JODIE FOSTER) is given a dog’s dinner of a task. An elusive serial killer by the name of Buffalo Bill, a.k.a. Jame Gumb – who got his nickname from the score of women he’s kidnapped, tortured, killed and then skinned (in that very order, if they were lucky) -is on the loose, and to help try and catch him, Clarice has to consult the one brilliant doctor who might know exactly how to find and stop this madman.

But that’s the catch.  That ‘doctor’ is one Hannibal Lecter (SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS in the role that won him the Oscar), and though his IQ is through the roof, he’s even more insane than Bill. Buffalo Bill skins people. Dr. Lecter eats them.  (Your best, snarky “Jack Sprat” comment goes here.)

And did I mention that this film gives you a “two-fer”? Actually, so much more than that. On one level, you have the battle of wills between Hannibal and Clarice, which also has the underpinnings of a creepy yet fascinating kind of ‘love’ story: Lecter’s keen intellect and spooky proclivity for reading and dissecting people and their minds with a single glance, versus Starling’s quiet, almost unflappable reserve and steely resolve. Then on yet another level, you have the whole woman-trying-to-break-the-glass-ceiling, as she has to endure the usual indignities of surviving and trying to thrive in what is essentially an old boys’ club.

And yet still on a third level, you have the harrowing Buffalo Bill story, as Clarice and the Feds race against time to save his latest victim from becoming part of the ‘skin suit’ he is meticulously sewing together, to…transform? Possess women’s bodies in the most extreme way possible? With someone this crazy, who knows?

Adapted by TED TALLY, from the insanely popular bestseller written by THOMAS HARRIS, to serve as the second part of his “Lecter Trilogy” (beginning with RED DRAGON and ending with the controversial HANNIBAL), this one had it all: legendary cinematographer TAK FUJIMOTO on camera; HOWARD SHORE taking care of the tense and unsettling score, and a supporting cast of aces that included Demme’s old mentor ROGER CORMAN, DIANE BAKER, SCOTT GLENN, CHARLES NAPIER, KASI LEMMONS, FRANKIE FAISON, BROOKE SMITH in a career-defining role as a stubborn victim; ANTHONY HEALD as Hannibal’s doctor, who manages to out-sneer even WILLIAM ATHERTON for the “Completely, Insufferably Smarmy” Award.

And most importantly of all, the “shoulda-been-nominated”-worthy turn by TED LEVINE as Jame/Bill, who gave us the chillingly phenomenal and iconic scene with the killer that was composed almost on the spot by him and Demme, (if you’ve seen the movie even once, you know the scene I’m talking about: “Goodbye Horses.”)

And once you’ve glimpsed this top-notch tale of tension, terror and one of the most nail-biting climactic confrontations ever commended to film, director Michael Mann’s version of ‘Red Dragon,” MANHUNTER – the one that really started it all – is more than worth your time to check out, as well as the lesser but still stunning remake, RED DRAGON; the third movie in the trilogy, HANNIBAL, with JULIANNE MOORE subbing for Foster and genre maven RIDLEY SCOTT directing, and even HANNIBAL RISING, the prequel that attempted to tell Lecter’s back story, with a mixed amount of success.



The Vortexx – Hosted Horror: Schedule for 10 July 2016 – 17 July 2016

JULY 10 - 17, 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts_02


Welcome to WORST OF THE WORST WEEK in The Vortexx! Truth be told, we air a lot of crappy movies all year round in The Vortexx, but some are definitely worse than others. A few weeks ago we polled our viewers and came up with a list of the 7 ABSOLUTE WORST MOVIES we have ever inflicted on our viewing audience. This week we're airing them in roughly reverse order starting on Monday with the "least”worst and culminating next Saturday and Sunday with the absolute "worst” of the worst. Our hosts are Gorenard the Beerbarian, Sluggo and Sluggles, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Nigel Honeybone, Remo D., Scarlett Kaiju and CJ the Werewolf, Mr. Lobo, and The Bone Jangler, Nocturna & HARMony. "Enjoy" the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Vortexx-Lady Frankenstein-20160710_Gorenard

Sunday (7/10) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)

THE GOLDEN HORDE with that manliest of manly-men hosts Gorenard the Beerbarian presents LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971). Before we get to the really bad stuff on Monday, we're going to start off the week by watching a fairly decent movie. It's a heart-warming, gut-churning story about a daughter's love for her dad. The daughter is Tania Frankenstein (Rosalba Neri aka Sara Bay), who takes up where dear old dad (Joseph Cotten) left off, after he is killed by his stripey-pants creation. It's two monsters for the price of one, as the doctor's horny daughter creates a handsome new creature for her sexual pleasure and then screws him on the operating table while the Universal mob storms the castle. Co-starring Mickey (Crimson Executioner) Hargitay and directed by Mel (Gravis Mushnik) Welles.

Vortexx-Driller Killer-20160711_Sluggo

Monday (7/11) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
Abel Ferrara's DRILLER KILLER (1979)

SLUGGO'S STRANGE TAILS with Sluggo and Sluggles kicks off our Worst of the Worst Week with Abel Ferrara's DRILLER KILLER (1979). Ferrara (billed as Jimmy Laine) plays a young artist who slowly goes nutzoid after a loud punk band moves into a nearby apartment and an art dealer laughs at his new creation, eventually resorting to power tools to take out his frustrations. Believe it or not, this movie actually has its share of fans, who admire its evocative depiction of 1970s New York City street life. And even in this less-than-stellar early effort Ferrara, who would go on to bigger and better things with The Addiction, Body Snatchers, Bad Lieutenant, and King of New York, shows the makings of a decent director. In between segments of the movie, Sluggo will be providing some sweet relief with Slime Time News and a musical guest.

Vortexx-Ghosts of Hanley House-20160712_Bordello

Tuesday (7/12) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Mary Johuana presents the movie everyone loves to hate -- GHOSTS OF HANLEY HOUSE (1968). For anyone not familiar with tonight's offering, it's is a really awful movie about a group of people who accept a bet to stay inside a house that was the scene of multiple murders. Imagine House on Haunted Hill gone horribly wrong, and that's the movie we'll be watching tonight. Our viewers ranked this one as "third worst" but we're airing it out of order tonight as a new-to-The-Vortexx episode of Bordello. Freaky will attempt to make up for the film's lack of quality with footage from Wizard World Madison, including interviews with Barry Bostwick, Muppet Babies creator Guy Gilchrist, and Rabbit Ears TV; musical guests The Pistols at Dawn; and a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut.



Wednesday (7/13) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)

THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW with Nigel Honeybone presents the one, the only, the incomparable MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE (1966), which celebrates its 50th anniversary this year. That's right, folks! All your friends will be back tonight -- Torgo (John Reynolds), The Master (Tom Neyman), Michael (director Hal Warren) and Margaret (Diane Mahree), Little Debbie (The Master's real-life daughter Jackie Neyman), The Master’s wives, the two teens in the car, the two girls in the convertible, and Peppy the Poodle! We guarantee that by the time this movie is over, you will be reduced to a tube of meat ready to be extruded through your brainstem. [Manos poster by Mariods courtesy of Deviant Art.]


Thursday (7/7) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
ALADDIN (1986)

Anyone expecting to see a kiddie movie along the lines of the 1992 Disney animated hit is going to be sorely disappointed. This bizarre and raunchy update of the Arabian Nights classic features European superstar Bud Spencer (Carlo Pedersoli) as a genie who pops out of a lantern in modern-day Miami and grants a teenager named Al Haddin his proverbial three wishes. When this movie aired in The Vortexx last April, it immediately shot to the top of our viewers' "worst movies" list. And tonight we're going to remind you why.


Vortexx-Jekyll and Hyde-20160715_Mansion

Friday (7/15) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)

MANSION OF MYSTERY with Scarlett Kaiju and CJ the Werewolf presents JEKYLL & HYDE: THE MUSICAL. Unfortunately, this is not the long-awaited film version of the Tony Award-nominated Broadway musical. It's an obscure, ultra-cheapo 1973 Made-for-TV adaptation of the Robert Louis Stevenson classic. Despite a stellar cast including Kirk Douglas, Donald Pleasence, and Susan George, not one of these thespians can carry a tune -- something of a fatal flaw in a musical. Douglas does manage a clever turn as the sinister Mr. Hyde, but he is horribly miscast as the kindly Dr. Jekyll and the infamous "bicycle scene" must be seen in order to be believed. All in all, a fitting entry for our "worst movies" week.

Vortexx-Santa Martians-20160716_CinemaInsomnia

Saturday (7/16) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)

Join us tonight for the second worst of "the worst" as CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964). Santa is kidnapped by the Martians, who take him back to their own planet where he brings fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars -- while inflicting untold misery on all the rest of us. Broadway veteran John Call stars as Santa. The supporting cast includes a prepubescent Pia Zadora as the little Martian girl Girmar, Tony Award winner Bill McCutcheon as the buffoonish Dropo, and Jamie Farr lookalike Al Nesor as Stobo. Mr. Lobo and co-host Miss Mittens make this steaming turd somewhat more palatable with hilarious yuletide humor, retro toy commercials, cuddly cartoons, movie trailers, and a special guest appearance by Ro-Man from Robot Monster.

Vortexx-Santa Ice Cream Bunny-20160717_BoneJangler

Sunday (7/17) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)

Join us tonight for the rock-bottom absolute "worst of the worst" as THE BONE JANGLER with co-hosts Nocturna and HARMony host SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972). This live-action feature begins with Santa (with a large sweat stain on his butt) and his sleigh stuck in the sand on a Florida beach, just days before Christmas Eve. The children from a nearby subdivision try to extricate the sleigh but nothing works, and the kids are afraid they won't get any gifts on Christmas. To boost their spirits, Santa decides to tells them a story. The setting then dissolves into a movie-within-the-movie -- Thumbelina (1970) starring Shay Gardner as a bouncy, bra-less, mini-skirted hippie chick who wanders through a tacky Florida amusement park imagining she is Thumbelina. When we aired this stinker in December 2014, we had to lock the chatroom doors to prevent our viewers from fleeing in droves. And poor Destroyah, who hosted the chat, still hasn't recovered from the experience despite more than eighteen months of intensive therapy. Watch it if you dare. You've been warned!


Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!


Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments