Lord Blood-Rah

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR DECEMBER 4 – 11, 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR DECEMBER 4 – 11, 2016


By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME! We've got a terrific line-up of shows, hosts, and movies coming up this week for your viewing and chatting pleasure, with one great new movie making its Vortexx debut along with several returning favorites. Our hosts are Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Movie House Ron, Riggor Mortiss & Nyte Angel, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Dr. Sigmund Zoid & Sluggo, Mr. Lobo, Dr. Lady & The Usual Suspects, Lord Blood-Rah, and Misty Brew. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

CHRISTMAS DADDY will make all your Christmas wishes come true!

Christmas is little more than a month away, and that means our very own bearer of Yuletide gifts CHRISTMAS DADDY will be coming to The Vortexx soon to make your Christmas wishes come true. A new slack module . . . a membership in the Puppy of the Month Club . . . a Dr Lady action figure . . . a singing Sluggo plushie that also does lap dances. . . . Those are just a few of the wonderful gifts that Christmas Daddy has given to our viewers in years past. Whatever your wish may be this year, just send an e-mail to Christmas Daddy at The Vortexx North Pole and he'll do his very best to make it happen. You can reach Christmas Daddy at christmasdaddy@horrorhost.net

BEWARE THEATER presents Ed Wood's PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)

Sunday (12/4). 9:00 P.M. (ET) BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People presents another gem from the golden age of black-and-white -- Ed Wood's PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959). A couple of pompous aliens in silk pajamas (Dudley Manlove and Joanna Lee) and their leader The Ruler (Bunny Breckinridge) plan to resurrect Bela Lugosi, Vampira, and Tor Johnson as slow moving zombies. Why? Because all you of Earth are idiots, that's why! Bela died shortly before shooting began, so Ed used some footage he had of Bela, wrote a script around it, and persuaded his wife's chiropractor (Tom Mason) to shoot the rest of the scenes with a cape hiding his face. Did he really think no one would notice? We're sure Arachna is going to have a lot of fun with this post-Thanksgiving turkey!

MOVIE HOUSE HOT TAKE presents SHUT IN (2016)

Please Note: Arachna's show will be preceded by a MOVIE HOUSE HOT TAKE with Ron Purtee. Tonight Ron takes a few moments to talk about the Canadian-made thriller SHUT IN (2016) starring Naomi Watts.

RIGGOR MORTISS PRESENTS presents Mario Bava's THE MASK OF SATAN (1960)

Monday (12/5). 9:00 P.M. (ET) RIGGOR MORTISS PRESENTS with Riggor and Nyte Angel presents Mario Bava's THE MASK OF SATAN (1960). Scream queen Barbara Steele plays a dual role as a vengeful witch who returns from the grave and the beautiful descendant whose body she wants to possess. On a personal note, Riggor is suffering from a cancerous tumor and needs help paying his medical bills. We hope that all who enjoy tonight's episode of Riggor Mortiss Presents will show their appreciation for this great host and this great show by making a donation to Riggor's GoFundMe page. No donation is too small!

BORDELLO OF HORROR presents DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974)

Tuesday (12/6). 9:00 P.M. (ET) BORDELLO OF HORROR presents DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974). Five psycho kids escape from a mental hospital and proceed to terrorize and kill a group of adults on a winter vacation at a remote mountain ski lodge. Hammers, axes, chains, and even a piranha and a snowman are all involved in the carnage. Boss Hogg (Sorrell Booke) plays one of the adults; former child actor Leif Garrett is one of the psycho kids. This is Mistress Malicious's debut show, folks, so don't miss it! In addition to the movie, Freakshow will be presenting musical guest DR.CHUD's X-Ward, a movie review by Mark The Movie Maniac from The Final Cut, and more!

ALTERNATIVE REALITIES presents WAR OF THE MONSTERS (1966)

Wednesday (12/7). 9:00 P.M. (ET) Thanksgiving may be officially over but were bringing it back tonight with the ALTERNATIVE REALITIES THANKSGIVING SHOW! Tonight Dr. Zoid and Sluggo are hosting WAR OF THE MONSTERS (1966) aka Gamera vs. Barugon, which first aired in The Vortexx as a special Thanksgiving episode on November 29, 2013. Gamera the Flying Turtle goes mano a mano against Barugon, the Demon Dog from Hell, in this second entry in the popular Gamera series. Needless to say, Tokyo takes its usual beating before Gamera finally saves the day.

CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents Dario Argento's DEEP RED (1975)

Thursday (12/8). 9:00 P.M. (ET) CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents Dario Argento's DEEP RED (1975). This stylish and imaginative shocker by the master of Italian horror was released a year before Suspiria. David Hemmings stars as an Englishman in Rome who witnesses a murder and then teams up with a feisty reporter to find the killer. He finds many of his avenues of inquiry cut off by new murders and begins to wonder how the murderer can track his movements so closely.

THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW presents Michael Winner's THE SENTINEL (1977)

Friday (12/9). 9:00 P.M. (ET) THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW with Dr. Lady and the Usual Suspects returns to The Vortexx to present Michael Winner's THE SENTINEL (1977). John Carradine plays a mute priest who guards the gates of Hell in this supernatural thriller, which also stars Chris (Fright Night) Sarandon, Cristina Raines, and Burgess Meredith. An all-star supporting cast includes Martin (Psycho) Balsam, Tom Berenger, Beverly D'Angelo, Richard Dreyfuss, Jose Ferrer, Ava Gardner, Jeff Goldblum, Arthur Kennedy, Jerry Orbach, Eli Wallach, and Christopher Walken. This movie generated some controversy when it was discovered that Winner had used real human oddities to play the misshapen characters in the memorable concluding scene.

LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents ATTACK FROM SPACE (1964)

Saturday (12/10). 9:00 P.M. (ET) LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents ATTACK FROM SPACE (1964). Paunchy superhero Starman must once again rescue the Earth -- this time from an invasion by an evil alien race called the Spherions. Dubbed and re-edited from the Super Giant featurettes of the late 1950s, this is an entertaining Japanese cheese fest with many unintended laughs. And we can depend on Lord Blood-Rah to liven things up with movie trailers, trivia, and other cool stuff, including we hope a cranial cavity search.

MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of Arthur Conan Doyle's THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (1939)

Sunday (12/11). 9:00 P.M. (ET) MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of Arthur Conan Doyle's THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (1939). The game is afoot tonight as Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce star in the first (and arguably the best) of the fourteen movies that they would make together as Sherlock Holmes and his bumbling sidekick Dr. Watson between 1939 and 1946. Richard Greene (who received top billing when the movie was released) co-stars as Sir Henry Baskerville, the heir to the cursed Baskerville estate. Cast members under suspicion include horror veterans Lionel Atwill as Dr. James Mortimer and John Carradine as Barryman the butler. Misty's show will be preceded by a MOVIE HOUSE HOT TAKE with Ron Purtee. Tonight Ron takes a few moments to talk about Kevin Smith's new horror-comedy YOGA HOSERS (2016).













SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY RE-ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments
VORTEXX HALLOWEEN SCHEDULE FOR OCTOBER 30 – NOVEMBER 6, 2016

VORTEXX HALLOWEEN SCHEDULE FOR OCTOBER 30 – NOVEMBER 6, 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!



Halloween is now just two days away, and our week-long Countdown to Halloween concludes with an old-time haunted radio show hosted by Cnl. Graves and an Atomic Age Cinema Halloween Special on Sunday followed by our third annual Vortexx Halloween Party hosted by Mortimer Van Creep on Monday. This week's line-up includes THREE new movies making their Vortexx debut along with several returning favorites. Our other hosts this week are Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Timber Wulff, Remo D. & friends, Dave Binkley & Mike Mace, Lord Blood-Rah, and Arachna & Deadly. And be sure to look below the promos to learn the identity of OUR NEWEST SPONSOR! Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Sunday (10/30). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
PUBLIC DOMAIN DRIVE-IN
presents
TALES FROM THE HAUNTED RADIO


PUBLIC DOMAIN DRIVE-IN with Cnl. Graves & Smiley Bones presents TALES FROM THE HAUNTED RADIO. Cnl. Graves and Smiley are back to celebrate Halloween again, this time with the Haunted Radio! Join us for audio tricks and treats as we listen to HP Lovecraft's Dunwich Horror, Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven, and the Washington Irving classic The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. But the chills aren't just for your ears as our two hosts also hit a Halloween Party and learn about Halloween Safety -- plus even more treats! This one is gonna be a lotta fun! Don't miss it!

Sunday (10/30). 10:45 P.M. (ET)
ATOMIC AGE CINEMA
presents
2016 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL


[Time Approximate.] Be sure to stick around after the radio show for the all-new ATOMIC AGE CINEMA 2016 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL! No movie or clip compilation tonight, folks. Just 30 minutes of hilarious hi-jinks courtesy of Dr. Calamari, Baron Mardi, Basement Boy, Woody, Reverend Polypus and special guests Kimera Minion, Joho, and Gabba D. Butt. There's a disturbance in the shack and the boys can't agree on what's causing it. Baron Mardi and Basement Boy say it's a ghost; Dr. Calamari thinks its something far more sinister -- Science! They decide to settle the argument by having a seance and calling on the Spirit of the Shack to find out who's right. Calamari's celebrity booger collection and Mardi's donkey porn tapes -- all 22,000 of them -- are riding on the outcome of their bet.

Monday (10/31). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
VORTEXX & SKUNKY CINEMA
presents
THE VORTEXX HALLOWEEN PARTY
and The Vortexx premiere of
CARRY ON SCREAMING (1966)


Join us tonight as we celebrate The Season of the Witch with our third annual VORTEXX HALLOWEEN PARTY! Our Monster of Ceremonies Mortimer Van Creep will kick off the celebration with a brand new episode of SKUNKY CINEMA. Tonight Morty will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of CARRY ON SCREAMING (1966). Kenneth Williams stars as the revived Dr. Watt and luscious Fennella Fielding is his vampirish sister in the twelfth installment of the long-running British "Carry On" series. Together they create two Frankenstein monsters named Oddbod and Oddbod Jr. who go around kidnapping hapless women. Mr. Hyde and a mummy join in the fun in this parody of the Hammer horror films of the 1960s. And for all you night owls, West Coasters, and Halloween junkies who took off work on November 1, the party continues at 11 (ET) with three full hours of MORT'S MONSTER SHORTS!

Tuesday (11/01). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
THE AMAZING MR. X (1948) aka The Spiritualist


BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, and Ali Katt presents THE AMAZING MR. X (1948) aka The Spiritualist. Turhan Bey and Richard Carlson star in this film noir about a grieving widow who is approached by a spiritualist (Bey) who claims he can help reach her lost love on "the other side." Is Mr. X a phony or is he the real deal? Join us tonight and find out. Carole Landis was originally scheduled to play the part of the grieving widow, but she committed suicide a few days before shooting began and popular World War II pin-up beauty Lynn Bari (aka "The Woo Woo Girl") was hired to take her place. In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with footage from September's HorrorHound Weekend in Indianapolis, punk-rock musical guests The Jasons, a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut, and more!

Wednesday (11/02). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
TOXIC TALES WITH TIMBER WULFF
presents
WEREWOLF IN A GIRL'S DORMITORY (1961)


TOXIC TALES WITH TIMBER WULFF returns to the Vortexx with a brand-new episode! Tonight our good friend and chat room regular Timber Wulff will be hosting WEREWOLF IN A GIRL'S DORMITORY (1961) aka The Ghoul in School. Despite the cheesy title and the lack of a compelling shower scene, this Italian-Austrian co-production is actually a pretty decent movie. Several students at a girls school are murdered by a snarling, wolf-like creature. Who is the killer? Is it the new science teacher (Carl Schell)? Or the creepy caretaker (Peter Lorre look-alike Luciano Pigozzi)? Or maybe the head master (Curt Lowens)? We suspect that most of our viewers already know the answer to that question, but we're looking forward to seeing Timber Wulff's take on this venerable chestnut.

Thursday (11/03). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM
presents
THE MAGIC SERPENT (1966)


REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM with Remo and co-hosts Dr. Montag and Kato the Black Hornet presents The Vortexx premiere of THE MAGIC SERPENT (1966). This Kaiju-Ninja fantasy, based loosely on a famous Japanese folktale, is the movie that supposedly inspired George Lucas to make Star Wars. It's the story of Ikazuchi-Maru, a young prince in medieval Japan whose kingdom is overtaken and his family killed by an evil warlord. Years later the now-grown prince, having mastered the art of ninjutsu and toad magic thanks to an old hermit named Dojin Hiki, returns from exile to take back his kingdom, facing ghosts, ninjas, and the evil wizard Oroki-maru along the way. The conclusion is an all- out battle between the prince and the wizard, who transform themselves into (respectively) a giant frog and a giant serpent. Meanwhile back at the Manor the inter-dimensional portal that Dr. Montag created has opened up again, and Hoichi-Maru the Snake Goddess is on the loose.

Friday (11/04). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE WEIRDNESS REALLY BAD MOVIE
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
THE LAST ALARM (1940)


THE WEIRDNESS REALLY BAD MOVIE with Dave Binkley and Mike Mace presents The Vortexx premiere of THE LAST ALARM (1940). Veteran character actor J. Farrell MacDonald has a rare starring role in this tale of a recently retired fire chief who becomes involved in the investigation of a series of suspicious fires. The finger of suspicion soon points to the keeper of an antiques shop that the chief's daughter has recently visited. The film uses footage of real fires and firemen rushing to fight them to add to the air of authenticity. In keeping with the theme of tonight's movie, the host segments were filmed at the Mansfield Fire Museum in Mansfield, Ohio.

Saturday (11/05). 8:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S
NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE

presents
MONSTER FROM A PREHISTORIC PLANET (1967) aka Gappa: The Triphibian Monster


LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents MONSTER FROM A PREHISTORIC PLANET (1967) aka Gappa: The Triphibian Monster. Reminiscent of the 1961 British movie Gorgo, this Japanese production features the Gappa family -- a trio of giant "bird lizards" who live in a remote area of Obelisk Island in the South Pacific. Problems arise when an expedition from Tokyo kidnaps baby Dweezil Gappa, and angry parents Frank and Gail take out their frustrations by leveling the Japanese capital city. As always, Lord Blood-Rah will be spicing up the mix with an assortment of trailers and other cool extras, including we hope another Cranial Cavity Search!

Sunday (11/06). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
Roger Corman's CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA (1961)


BEWARE THEATER returns to The Vortexx with a brand-new episode and another classic from the Golden Age of Black & White. Tonight Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly are hosting Roger Corman's CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA (1961). Anthony Carbone, doing his best Bogie imitation, plays small-time crook Renzo Capetto who hatches a scheme to steal the national treasury of a Caribbean island with the help of a mythical sea monster -- who turns out to be real. Betsy Jones-Moreland plays Renzo's girlfriend Mary-Belle Monahan. Ed Wain (actually Academy Award winning screenwriter Robert Towne) is agent Sparks Moran. Beach Dickerson steals every scene he's in as a guy who communicates with animal noises. Don't expect to be scared, because it's all played for laughs.












Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments
VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 9 – 16 OCTOBER 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 9 – 16 OCTOBER 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
9 - 16 OCTOBER 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts_02

THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS! We've got another great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure with an assortment of space aliens, zombies & other undead folk, vampires, and the Frankenstein Monster (or, at least, his cowboy cousin) coming your way this week to entertain you. Our hosts this week are Arachna & Deadly, Vincent Grimmly, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Nigel Honeybone, Professor Gillman, Dr. Mortose, Lord Blood-Rah, and Misty Brew. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

vortexx-night-of-the-living-dead-20161009_beware-theater

Sunday (10/9) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)

BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968). This is a movie that needs no introduction, but we're going to give you one anyway. It's about six bickering humans and a sick little girl trapped in a farmhouse with an army of zombies outside. Ben wants to be boss of the upstairs. Cooper wants to be boss of the cellar. Sparks fly and assorted body parts get devoured before it all comes to a flesh-ripping gut-munching climax. We know you've seen this movie more than a few times before, but tonight Arachna will be breathing new life into this venerable old chestnut with frequent host inserts and biting humor.

vortexx-jesse-james-meets-frankensteins-daughter-20161010_night-chills

Monday (10/10) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE
presents
JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1967)

NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE with Vincent Grimmly presents JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1967). The legendary outlaw, on the run from the law, hides out in the castle of Baron Frankenstein's granddaughter Maria. A chip off the old Frankenstein block, Maria performs a brain transplant on Jesse's wounded pal Hank and, for reasons known only to her, promptly re-names him Igor. Directed by the infamous William "One Shot" Beaudine, tonight's movie and its companion piece Billy the Kid Versus Dracula were One Shot's last theatrical films.

vortexx-i-bury-the-living-20161011_bordello

Tuesday (10/11) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
I BURY THE LIVING (1958)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt and Marijohuana presents a Vortexx favorite -- I BURY THE LIVING (1958). A cemetery caretaker (Richard Boone) discovers that by switching white and black pins around on the map of the grounds, he can cause the death of future tenants -- and revive the current ones. Austrian-born Theodore Bikel plays Andy the caretaker with the thickest (and fakest) Scottish accent you're ever gonna hear. This creepy little thriller is said to be one of Stephen King's favorites, and it's one of ours as well. In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests Psycho Charger.

vortexx-contamination-20161012_schlocky-horror

Wednesday (10/12) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
presents
ALIEN CONTAMINATION (1984)ALIEN CONTAMINATION (1984) aka Contamination

THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW with Nigel Honeybone presents Luigi Cozzi's ALIEN CONTAMINATION (1984) aka Contamination. If you can imagine Alien without a special effects budget or a talented director and with actors saying ludicrous things like "Help! Let me out! There's an egg!" then you'll have a pretty good idea what to expect from tonight's movie. It's about a one-eyed alien (grown from a seed that an astronaut brought back from Mars) who's incubating hundreds of green, pulsating, acid-spewing alien eggs at a coffee plantation in Colombia. Ian McCulloch (of Zombi and Zombie Holocaustfame) heads a cast of mostly unknown Italians. The cult band Goblin lends a helping hand by providing an out-of-this-world soundtrack. This was one of the 72 films on the UK's infamous "Video Nasty" list.

vortexx-ufo-20161013_prof-gillman

Thursday (10/13) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE PROFESSOR GILLMAN SHOW
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
UFO: THE TRUE STORY OF FLYING SAUCERS (1956)

THE PROFESSOR GILLMAN SHOW presents the Vortexx premiere of UFO: THE TRUE STORY OF FLYING SAUCERS (1956). This semi-documentary, released to capitalize on the UFO craze that was sweeping the nation during the mid-50s, promises "actual color films of UFOs kept top secret until now." Tom Towers (the real-life aviation editor of The Los Angeles Examiner) stars as Al Chop, a reporter who begins to investigate several reports of UFOs and by the end of the movie is convinced that they are in fact real. The 10 minutes of poor-quality UFO footage at the end is mildly interesting, but before the movie finally gets to it you have to sit through 80 minutes of boring stock footage, interviews, and dramatic reenactments with some really annoying Dragnet-style narration. We're betting that long before the final credits, you'll be hoping to be abducted by a real spaceship just so you can get away from this turkey.

vortexx-horror-20161014_doc-mortose

Friday (10/14) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
DR. MORTOSE COMMANDS
presents
HORROR (1963) aka The Blancheville Monster

DR. MORTOSE COMMANDS presents HORROR (1963) aka The Blancheville Monster. Although generally known by the latter title, this Italian-Spanish Gothic thriller, based loosely on Edgar Allan Poe's “The Fall of The House of Usher” and “The Premature Burial”, was originally released in Italy, Spain, and the U.K. under the somewhat bland title “The House of Usher”. Intended to capitalize upon the success of Roger Corman's popular Edgar Allan Poe adaptations, this visually striking but talky film stars Ombretta Colli as Emily de Blancheville, the beautiful young daughter of a crazed count, who fears that she will fall victim to the family curse. The movie ambles along about as slowly as The Giant Gila Monster, but it does have a few things going for it, including a creepy castle, some great exterior shots of a crumbling abbey and eerie forest locales, two very attractive female leads, and a willowy nightgown that shows Emily's perky breasts.

vortexx-killers-from-space-20161015_lord-blood-rah

Saturday (10/15) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S
NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE

presents
KILLERS FROM SPACE (1954)

LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents KILLERS FROM SPACE (1954). Peter (Mission Impossible) Graves stars as a scientist abducted by bug-eyed aliens from Astron Delta in this low-budget thriller directed by W. Lee (Willie) Wilder, Oscar-winner Billy Wilder's less talented older brother. Tonight, you will have a chance to see Willie's ineptitude in full display as the aliens, wearing ridiculous Phantom rip-off suits, plan to conquer the earth with giant stock-footage insects and reptiles. As always, Lord Blood-Rah will be spicing up the mix with plenty of movie trailers and other cool extras, including (we hope) another cranial cavity search.

vortexx-grave-of-the-vampire-20161016_misty-brew

Sunday (10/16) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE
presents
GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE (1974)

MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE (1974). Michael Pataki stars as Caleb Croft, one of the creepiest bloodsuckers you're ever going to see. No sparkly vampires tonight, folks. This guy really means business. William Smith plays Caleb's half-vampire, half-human son twenty-four years before Wesley Snipes did it in Blade. Writer David Chase would later go on to bigger and better things with The Sopranos.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

The Vortexx - Swirling Storm"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

president-sluggo

SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments
VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 11 – 18 SEPTEMBER 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 11 – 18 SEPTEMBER 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
11 – 18 SEPTEMBER 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts_02

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS! We've got another great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure including THREE indie movies marking their Vortexx debut along with several returning favorites starring Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, and Spider-Gary. Our hosts this week are Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Vincent Grimmly, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Dr. Lady & the Usual Suspects, Bobby Gammonster & Boris the Buzzard with guest host Vincent Grimmly, Mr. Lobo, Lord Blood-Rah, and Misty Brew. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Vortexx-Bride of the Monster-20160911_Beware Theater

Sunday (9/11) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
Ed Wood's BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955)

BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another gem from the Golden Age of Black-and-White -- Ed Wood's BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955). In his last starring role, an emaciated Bela Lugosi plays an aging mad scientist with a plan to create a race of supermen with the help of Tor Johnson. Bela shows off his acting chops in his memorable "Home, I Have No Home" soliloquy, and the final scene where he wrestles with a rubber octopus must be seen in order to be believed.

vortexx-beast-of-yucca-flats-20160912_night-chills

Monday (9/12) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE
presents
THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961)

Join us tonight as NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE with Vincent Grimmly returns to The Vortexx for its second appearance. Vincent and his pet raven Phydeaux will be hosting Coleman (Red Zone Cuba) Francis's masterpiece THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961). Tor Johnson gets to show his acting range, playing a defecting Russian rocket scientist named Joseph Javorsky. Pursued by KGB agents, Javorsky stumbles onto a nuclear testing site in the Nevada wastelands, gets wasted, and becomes . . . you guessed it . . . Tor Johnson! Director Francis, who also narrates, provides plenty of unintended laughs with lines such as "once a brilliant scientist, now just fatty grease for the wheels of progress." Francis, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Curly of The 3 Stooges, also appears briefly as a gas station attendant and as a man buying a newspaper. We're hoping that Vincent's sidekick Phydeaux will be more talkative tonight than he was in last week's episode.

vortexx-monstroid-20160913_bordello

Tuesday (9/13) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
MONSTROID: IT CAME FROM THE LAKE (1980)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Marijohuana presents The Vortexx premiere of MONSTROID: IT CAME FROM THE LAKE (1980). This low-budget indie, supposedly based on a true story, is about a rural Colombian village that is attacked by a sea serpent who's been aroused by the industrial pollution of a nearby lake. For an indie it's got a surprising number of "name" actors, including John Carradine playing a local priest who believes the monster is sent by God to punish sinners. Jim Mitchum (the spitting image of his more famous dad), Philip Carey (who played Texas tycoon Asa Buchanan for almost three decades on the popular soap opera One Life to Live), and veteran B-movie actor Anthony Eisley round out the cast. Carradine, whose contempt for this movie can be seen on his scowling face, reportedly said, "This is the worst piece of s--t I've ever worked on and I've worked on a lot of pieces of s--t." In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests The Malcolmexicans, a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut, and more!

vortexx-suspira-20160914_dr-lady

Wednesday (9/14) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW
presents
Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA (1976)

THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW with Dr David Lady and the Usual Suspects presents Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA (1976). A young girl (Jessica Harper) arrives at a fancy ballet academy run by a coven of witches in this stylish Italian thriller. Joan Bennett and Alida Valli -- both major stars in their heyday -- co-star as the school's directress Madame Blanc and her Nazified assistant Miss Tanner. Cult actor Udo Kier, best known for his lead roles in Andy Warhol's Frankenstein and Andy Warhol's Dracula, appears in a small supporting role. The shocks are plentiful, including a room full of barbed wire and maggots falling from the ceiling. And we guarantee, the sound track by Goblin is the loudest you'll ever hear.

vortexx-horrors-of-spider-island-20160915_monster-movie-night

Thursday (9/15) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT
presents
HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND (1962)

MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT with Bobby Gammonster, Boris The Buzzard, and special guest host Vincent Grimmly presents a Vortexx favorite -- HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND (1962). It's about a troupe of beautiful dancers who find themselves stranded on a deserted island with their square-shouldered manager Gary (Alex D'Arcy). Their skinny-dipping routine is disrupted when Gary gets bit by a spider and becomes . . . . Spider-Gary! Oh, the horrors of it all! Vincent appears in tonight's episode, live from Castle Pappdeckel, via Bobby's video scream-o-phone.

vortexx-mark-of-the-damned-20160916_cinema-insomnia

Friday (9/16) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
MARK OF THE DAMNED (2006)

We're celebrating Halloween early tonight as CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents the first part of a two-part Halloween Special from 2009. Mr. Lobo will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of Eric Miller's MARK OF THE DAMNED (2006). Miller's homegrown Midnight Movie masterpiece was made as an homage to the classic Santo movies such as Santo vs the Vampire Women (1962). It's set in a place called The Amplified World and it's filled with vampires, ghouls, robots, rocket men, masked heroes, and over-the-top villains like The Vampire Queen. In addition to the movie, Mr. Lobo will be spicing up the mix with off-beat humor, vintage TV ads, drive-in movie trailers, retro craziness, and informative interviews on location in Richmond, Virginia, detailing the making of the movie. In addition, there is a hilarious musical cooking segment with November Fire recording artist Slob Zombie and a taste of his hit single "40 Hour Weekend."

vortexx-daughter-of-horror-20160917_lord-blood-rah

Saturday (9/17) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S
NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE

presents
DAUGHTER OF HORROR (1957)

LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents DAUGHTER OF HORROR (1957). This "film noir" of a psychotic young woman's nightmarish experiences during one night on skid row was originally released in 1955 as Dementia with no dialogue whatsoever. It was re-released in 1957 with added narration by Johnny Carson's second banana, Ed McMahon. The cast includes Bruno (Fat Dave) VeSota, little person Angelo Rossitto, Jonathan (Seymour Krelborn) Haze, and comedian Shelley Berman. As always there will be plenty of movie trailers and other cool extras along with a Cranial Cavity Search.

vortexx-dark-garden-20160918_misty-brew

Sunday (9/18) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
DARK GARDEN (2004)

MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of DARK GARDEN (2004), a cool indie film by Patrick Bond. It's a psychological thriller about a downtrodden man named Warren (Kyle Van Pool), who finds himself having to choose between good and evil when he moves into a new house and befriends Harry (J.W. McCrary), who soon recruits Warren to assist him in his wicked ways. In addition to the movie, Misty will be entertaining us with a special interview with Mr. McCrary and previews of Misty's Coming Attractions.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

The Vortexx - heart"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

The Vortexx - President Sluggo

SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments
VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 28 AUGUST – 04 SEPTEMBER 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 28 AUGUST – 04 SEPTEMBER 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
28 AUGUST – 04 SEPTEMBER 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

EDITOR’S NOTE: House of Tortured Souls apologizes to The Vortexx, Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Lord Blood-Rah, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, and Remo D. & friends for missing the schedule post and, consequently, publishing this halfway through the week.

Paw Print microscopicWoofer McWooferson,
Editor-in-Chief

The Vortexx Hosts_02

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

We've got a great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies this week for your viewing and chatting pleasure with two new movies -- and one great host -- making their Vortexx debut including the final installment of Bordello of Horror's NinJuly in August. Our hosts are Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Lord Blood-Rah, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Remo D. & friends, Rizzle MaNizzle the Clown, Sicko Psychotic, Cnl. Graves, and Misty Brew. Check out the schedule for details about all the fine shows airing this week in The Vortexx. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Vortexx-Phantom from 10,000 Leagues-20160828_Beware Theater

Sunday (8/28) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES (1955)

Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another gem from the Golden Age of Black & White -- PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES (1955). Government agent Kent Taylor goes up against spies, an underwater death ray, and a ludicrous monster who looks like The Creature From The Black Lagoon's hillbilly cousin. There's also a mad scientist (Michael Whalen) with a beautiful daughter (Cathy Downs), who takes showers and falls in love with the government agent. Will Arachna be able to make lemonade out of this lemon? Join us tonight and find out!

Vortexx-The Terror-20160829_Lord Blood-Rah

Monday (8/29) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE
presents
Roger Corman’s THE TERROR (1963)

Lord Blood-Rah presents Roger Corman’s THE TERROR (1963) starring Boris Karloff, a very young Jack Nicholson, Sandra Knight, and Corman regulars Dick Miller and Jonathan Haze. Roger had just finished filming The Raven and Karloff had three days left on his contract, so he shot this film using the same sets! The plot involves a young officer in Napoleon's army who pursues a mysterious woman to the castle of an elderly Baron. Nicholson, Francis Ford Coppola, and Jack (Spider Baby) Hill were among the second-unit directors. As always, Lord Blood-Rah will be spicing up the mix with plenty of movie trailers, a Cranial Cavity Search, and other extras.

Vortexx-Street Fighter-20160830_Bordello

Tuesday (8/30) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR'S
NINJULY IN AUGUST

presents
THE STREET FIGHTER (1974) (1987)

Tonight Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Mary Johuana will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of the fourth and final installment in their month-long series of martial arts films -- THE STREET FIGHTER (1974). Sonny Chiba chews up the scenery as Terry Tsurugi, a martial arts master who uses his abundant talents as a mercenary gun-for-hire. After he is hired by the Japanese mob to kidnap the daughter of a deceased billionaire, he decides to switch sides and protect her instead. Much gore and mayhem ensue. If you want to see butt-whuppin' administered with balletic grace and artistry, then rent yourself a Bruce Lee film. If you want to see a guy mercilessly whip truckloads of butt, then this is the movie for you! In addition to the butt-whuppins, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guest Art Paul Schlosser, and more!

Vortexx-Demon Lover Diary-20160831_Remo DWednesday (8/31) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
DEMON LOVER DIARY (1980)

Tonight's film is not a horror movie but rather a movie about the making of a low-budget horror movie called The Demon Lover (1977). Unlike your typical "making of" movie, which tends to be more informative than entertaining, this one not only stands head-and-shoulders above the actual movie (which, frankly, stank) but also is a hoot to watch. It's about a couple of factory workers named Don Jackson and Jerry Younkins, who grew up on comic books and B-movies and have always wanted to produce their own horror movie. After Jerry gets some insurance money from an industrial accident (which he may or may not have orchestrated), he and Don decide to fulfill their lifelong ambition. Unfortunately both guys have more enthusiasm than talent, and once the filming starts everything that possibly could go wrong does go wrong. The story is told from the point of view of Joel DeMott, a professional filmmaker whose boyfriend Jeff Kreins was hired by Don and Jerry as the cameraman for their magnum opus. Rocker Ted Nugent makes a cameo appearance when the crew show up at his home to borrow some of his guns and ammo for a scene.

Vortexx-Double Feature-20160901_Rizzle

Thursday (9/1) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
RIZZLE MaNIZZLE
presents
RIZZLE MaNIZZLE DOUBLE FEATURE

Join us tonight for a RIZZLE MaNIZZLE DOUBLE FEATURE! First up Rizzle the Clown proudly presents The Vortexx debut of those three little rapscallions HERMAN SHERMAN AND TINA, who will be entertaining us with a mix of cartoons (1933's Betty Boop's “Crazy Inventions”), movie trailers (including Night of the Living Dead and Plan 9), public service films (Lunchroom Manners), and song parodies (concluding with a rousing rendition of "Happy Together"). Then stick around as RIZZLE MaNIZZLE's GINGERBREAD HOUSE OF LUNACY presents the one, the only, the incomparable MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE (1966). That's riiiiiiight!! All your friends will be back tonight! Torgo, The Master & his Wives, Michael & Margaret, little Debbie, the two teens in the car, the two girls in the convertible, and, of course, Peppy the Poodle. Believe it or not Rizzle has actually found a way to make this stinker watchable, mainly by cutting it down to less than 45 minutes and then riffing it to pieces a la MST3K!

Vortexx-Blancheville Monster-20160902_Sicko Psychotic

Friday (9/2) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
SICKO-PSYCHOTIC
presents
THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER (1963)

Join us tonight as SICKO-PSYCHOTIC returns to The Vortexx for his second appearance! Broadcasting from the Sick-Shack in Las Vegas, Nevada, Sicko and his co-hosts, Silky Harlot the spider and Cameo the camera obscura, were a big hit with the viewers when their first show debuted two weeks ago, and tonight is your chance to see them again! Tonight Sicko & friends will be hosting THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER (1963). Loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe's “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “The Premature Burial”, this visually striking but talky Italian-Spanish Gothic thriller stars Ombretta Colli as Emily de Blancheville, the beautiful young daughter of a crazed count, who fears that she will fall victim to the family curse. The film moves about as slowly as The Giant Gila Monster, but it has a few things going for it, including two attractive female leads and a willowy nightgown that shows Emily's perky breasts. We're confident that Sicko will relieve the tedium with more of the creative, imaginative, and hilarious host breaks that made his first show so much fun to watch.

https://houseoftorturedsouls.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Vortexx-Fists-of-Steel-20160903_PD-Drive-In.jpg

Saturday (9/3) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
PUBLIC DOMAIN DRIVE-IN
presents
FISTS OF STEEL (1986)

PUBLIC DOMAIN DRIVE-IN with Cnl. Graves and Smiley Bones presents FISTS OF STEEL (1986). Also known as Atomic Cyborg, Hands of Steel, and Vendetta from the Future, this Italian-made knockoff of The Terminator and Blade Runner has more alternate titles than an Al Adamson movie. Daniel Greene, whose robotic acting style perfectly fits his character, stars as Paco Queruak, a cyborg created by a sinister industrialist (John Saxon) to assassinate a blind scientist (Donald O'Brian) who stands in the way of his evil schemes. Despite the low budget and questionable acting, the non-stop action and rousing musical score (by Claudio Simonetti) make this a highly entertaining cheeseball of a movie from start to finish.

Vortexx-Dark Road-20160904_Misty Brew

Sunday (8/21) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE DOUBLE FEATURE!
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
DARK ROAD (2009)

MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of DARK ROAD aka The Devil Comes Home to Missouri. On a foggy night in the small southern town of Whitewater, Missouri, a local sheriff is called to the roadside scene of a violent execution-style murder. When the victim is identified as a mob-connected thug with local ties, the sheriff must determine if the murder is a message -- either to him or for him. However, the gathering storm of violence heading his way will leave no time for second guessing. This indie movie by Patrick Bond and Steve E. Turner was filmed entirely in and around Cape Girardeau, Missouri (Misty's home base) and features local talent including members of The Tone Def Allstars (Darren Burgfeld) and Drivin Rain (Skully Shemwell) in lead roles.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

The Vortexx - septagons"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

The Vortexx - President Sluggo

SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments
VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 07 AUGUST  – 14 AUGUST 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 07 AUGUST – 14 AUGUST 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
07 - 14 AUGUST 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts_02

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

We've got a great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies this week for your viewing and chatting pleasure. Three movies are making their Vortexx debut, including the second installment of Bordello of Horror’s NinJuly in August. We'll also be watching Vincent Price in his favorite movie role, one of our favorite episodes of Alternative Realities, an Indie vampire film from legendary horror host John Stanley, and a brand-new episode of Beware Theater. And be sure to come by on Thursday for the Mummy TV First Anniversary Show! Our hosts this week are Misty Brew, Dr. Mortose, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Dr. Sigmund Zoid & Sluggo, Mr. & Mrs. Mummy, Remo D. & friends, Lord Blood-Rah, and Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly. Check out the schedule for details about all the fine shows airing this week in The Vortexx. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Vortexx-Theater of Blood-20160807_Misty Brew

Sunday (8/7) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE
presents
THEATRE OF BLOOD (1973)

Join us tonight as MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE returns to The Vortexx for its second appearance! Tonight Misty will be presenting Vincent Price in his favorite movie role as she hosts the deliciously campy horror-comedy THEATRE OF BLOOD (1973). Price stars as Shakespearian actor Edward Lionheart, who murders the critics who snubbed him by using famous death scenes from Shakespeare plays (Macbeth, Richard III, etc.) as his models. Diana (The Avengers) Rigg plays his daughter and accomplice. The stellar supporting cast includes Robert Morley & a couple of very unfortunate poodles, Jack Hawkins, Diana Dors, Dennis Price, Milo O'Shea, Robert Coote, and Coral Browne -- an Australian actress whom Price met on the set and married a year later.
Vortexx-The Spider-20160808_Doc Mortose

Monday (8/8) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
DR. MORTOSE COMMANDS
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
Bert I. Gordon's EARTH VS. THE SPIDER
(aka The Spider) (1958)

A giant spider is killed by DDT and then hauled for storage to a nearby high school only to be revived by a loud dose of rock music from a teenage garage band. Its hatred of rock 'n' roll leads The Spider to rampage through the town and turn its citizens into dried-up corpses. Folks, we can't make this stuff up! Watch carefully for plugs for two of Bert's earlier movies -- The Amazing Colossal Man (1957) and Attack of the Puppet People (1958).

Vortexx-Ninja Death II-20160809_Bordello

Tuesday (8/9) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR'S
NINJULY IN AUGUST

presents
NINJA DEATH 2 (1987)

Welcome to BORDELLO OF HORROR'S NINJULY IN AUGUST! Tonight Freakshow & friends will be presenting the second installment of their month-long series of martial arts films -- NINJA DEATH 2 (1987). Tonight's movie chronicles the continuing adventures of Tiger and "Master," as they battle the evil forces of The Grand Master. "Master" has been training Tiger long and hard for the fight against the invaders from Japan and has finally revealed the secrets behind his origin and his ties to the Grand Master. Armed with this knowledge and his new-found skills, Tiger must set out to defeat the forces of The Grand Master once and for all. Of course, we know that ain't gonna happen because there's a Ninja Death 3coming our way next week. In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests Winning Ugly, and more!

Vortexx-Revenge of Dr. X-20160810_Alt RealitiesWednesday (8/10) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
ALTERNATIVE REALITIES
presents
BODY OF THE PREY (1970)

Join us tonight for an encore presentation of ALTERNATIVE REALITIES as Dr. Sigmund Zoid and Sluggo host BODY OF THE PREY (1970). Also known as Venus Flytrap, BODY OF THE PREY, The Revenge of Dr. X, and The Devil Garden, this movie has more alternate titles than an Al Adamson flick. It's about a mad scientist (is there any other kind?) who develops a way to turn carnivorous plants into man-eating creatures. Zoid and Sluggo call tonight's show "The Peanut Butter Episode." Join us tonight and find out why!

Vortexx-Mummy TV First Anniversary-20160811_Mummy TV

Thursday (8/4) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MUMMY TV
presents
SPOOKS RUN WILD (1941)

Join us tonight as we celebrate the MUMMY TV FIRST ANNIVERSARY SHOW! Our ancient hosts Mr. and Mrs. Mummy will be taking you on a strange journey back to their beginnings through their first year in the world of Horror Hosting with their trademark witty humor and bad puns -- tailored right to the funny bones of their friends in the Vortexx. The Mummys will once again be hosting the first movie they hosted in their premiere episode in August 2015 – SPOOKS RUN WILD (1941) starring Bela Lugosi and the East Side Kids. The show will also include a smattering of our hosts’ personal favorite bits, a special collection of music medleys, special facts about the show, classic movie monster trailers, some of the first show’s original bits (with re-edited audio) and commercial parodies. And there will be a "MUST SEE" for all at the conclusion of the show!

Vortexx-Night Stalker-201608012_Remo D

Friday (8/12) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM
presents
The Vortexx premiere of

NIGHT STALKER (1986)

REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM presents The Vortexx premiere of NIGHT STALKER (1986). For those who didn't know that the legendary TV series starring Darrin McGavin as Kolchak was in the public domain, we have news for you. . . it isn't. Tonight's movie doesn't have McGavin in it, but it does have horror icon Robert Z'Dar playing a seemingly indestructible killer named Chuck Sommers, who murders prostitutes, steals their souls, and paints Chinese characters on their bodies. Veteran character actor Charles Napier, who made a career playing hard-ass military types and menacing bad guys, co-stars as Sergeant Striker, an alcoholic L.A. cop who's on the case. Z'Dar's character is loosely based on real-life serial killer Richard Ramirez (also named the Night Stalker), and it was this role that got him the lead role in the cult favorite Maniac Cop.

Vortexx-Nightmare in Blood-201608013_Lord Blood-Rah

Saturday (8/13) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE
presents
The Vortexx premiere of

John Stanley's NIGHTMARE IN BLOOD (1978)

One year before he replaced Bob Wilkins as the host of San Francisco's "Creature Features," Stanley directed, co-wrote, and co-produced this horror-comedy about the guest of honor at a horror convention who turns out to be a real vampire. Stanley and Wilkins make brief appearances as a comic book store customer and a convention attendee, Bela Lugosi shows up in archive footage, and "name" actors Kerwin Mathews and Kathleen Quinlan have cameo roles. As always you can expect Lord Blood-Rah to spice up the mix with movie trailers, a cranial cavity search, and other extras.

Vortexx-Cat Women of the Moon-20160814_Beware Theater

Sunday (8/14) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
The Vortexx premiere of
CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON (1953)

Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly present another gem from the Golden Age of Black & White -- CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON (1953). A group of astronauts, led by Sonny Tufts, travel to the moon where they discover it is inhabited by attractive young women in black tights and heavy eye makeup with names like Alpha, Beta, and Lambda. Little do they know that these catty gals are up to no good -- they plan to hijack the space ship! And for those didn't enough arachnid action on Monday, there's also a giant spider. Veteran bad-guy Victor Jory plays one of the astronauts. Marie Windsor, who is miscast as the sole female astronaut, reportedly said that that this was the only film she was ashamed of. Soon-to-be-famous composer Elmer Bernstein, who did the score, is misspelled in the title credits as "Elmer Bernstien."

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

The Vortexx Eyeballs"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

Vortexx Sluggo & Arch Hall Jr.

SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments

The Vortexx – Hosted Horror: Schedule for 17 July 2016 – 24 July 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
17 - 24 JULY 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts_02

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!! We've got a great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure, with three movies, along with one great host, making their Vortexx debut. And check out the schedule to learn the identity of our newest Vortexx chat host! Our hosts this week are The Bone Jangler, Nocturna & HARMony; Lord Blood-Rah; Freakshow & the Bordello gang; Dr. Lady & the Usual Suspects; Bobby Gammonster & Boris the Buzzard; Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly; Mortimer Van Creep; and (making her Vortexx debut next Sunday) the one and only Misty Brew! Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Vortexx-Molly the K-Memory HoleOUR NEWEST CHAT HOST
WELCOME ABOARD, MOLLY!

The staff of The Vortexx extends a warm welcome to our newest staff member and chat host -- MOLLY THE K! Molly has been a chat room regular since August 2015, and her witty comments have made her a frequent winner of "chat quote of the night." Molly is also a cracker-jack DJ and host of Down The Memory Hole on Desert Rock Radio, which has become a favorite hangout spot for Vortexx viewers after our Friday night show. Starting this week, Molly will be keeping our chatters in line as host of our Saturday night show. Welcome aboard, Molly!

Vortexx-Santa Ice Cream Bunny-20160717_BoneJangler

Sunday (7/17) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE BONE JANGLER
presents
SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972)

We conclude our Worst of the Worst Week with the rock-bottom absolute "worst" of the bad movies selected by our viewers. Join us tonight as THE BONE JANGLER and co-hosts Nocturna and HARMony present SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972). This live-action feature begins with Santa (with a large sweat stain on his butt) and his sleigh stuck in the sand on a Florida beach, just days before Christmas Eve. After trying unsuccessfully to extricate the sleigh, kids from a nearby subdivision are afraid they won't get any gifts on Christmas. To boost their spirits, Santa decides to tells them a story. The setting then dissolves into a movie-within-the-movie -- Thumbelina (1970) starring Shay Gardner as a bouncy, bra-less, mini-skirted hippie chick who wanders through a tacky Florida amusement park imagining she is Thumbelina. When we aired this stinker in December 2014, we had to lock the chatroom doors to prevent our viewers from fleeing in droves. And poor Destroyah, who hosted the chat, still hasn't recovered from the experience despite more than eighteen months of intensive therapy. Watch it if you dare. You've been warned!

Vortexx-Boggy Creek-20160718_Lord Blood-Rah

Monday (7/18) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE
presents
THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK (1973)

Tonight's movie is a docudrama about a Sasquatch-type creature that terrorized the small town of Fouke, Arkansas for several years. Many of the folks who claim to have experienced these events actually play themselves in the movie. The film's visual style has been cited as the inspiration for the look and pacing of The Blair Witch Project. This one is definitely a "must see" for all Bigfoot fans, although Bigfoot himself (played by a guy in a gorilla suit) is somewhat of a disappointment. As always, Lord Blood-Rah will be spicing up the mix with some cool trailers, a cranial cavity search, and other extras.

Vortexx-Scream Bloody Murder-20160719_Bordello

Tuesday (7/19) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
SCREAM BLOODY MURDER (1973)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Mary Johuana presents SCREAM BLOODY MURDER (1973). A young man kills his father with a farm tractor, mangles his hand, gets sent to a mental hospital, goes even more nutzoid when he finds out his mother has remarried, and kills her and his stepfather. And that's only the first 20 minutes! Filmed in 1971, this was one of the earliest slasher films -- preceding Halloween and Friday the 13th by almost a decade. In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests Devil to Drag, a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut and more!

 

Vortexx-Drac vs Frank-20160720_Dr.LadyWednesday (7/20) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW
presents
Al Adamson's DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN (1971)

THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW with Dr. Lady and the Usual Suspects presents Al Adamson's DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN (1971). This is the second of three films bearing that title released between 1970 and 1972 and arguably the best -- not because it's a good movie (which it isn't), but because it's consistently entertaining. Stockbroker-turned-actor Roger Engel (aka Zandor Vorkov) and accountant-turned-actor John Bloom play the title monsters, but the real stars are horror icons J. Carrol Naish and Lon Chaney, Jr. making their final screen appearances as a wheelchair-bound Dr. Frankenstein and his dim-witted assistant Groton. Angelo Rossito plays Grazbo the Evil Dwarf, the doctor's other henchman. Anthony Eisley plays an aging hippy who helps busty blonde Regina Carrol (Adamson's real-life wife) search for her sister (decapitated by Chaney at the beginning of the film). Forrest J Ackerman makes a cameo appearance as one of The Frankenstein Monster's victims.

Vortexx-Revenge Zombies-20160721_MonsterMovieNight

Thursday (7/21) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT
presents
REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES (1943)

MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT with Bobby Gammonster and Boris the Buzzard presents The Vortexx premiere of REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES (1943). Since this movie was made in the midst of World War II, you might expect that there will be Nazis in it. And you won't be disappointed! Horror movie veteran John Carradine stars as Dr. Max Heinrich von Altermann, a mad scientist (is there any other kind?) working at an old mansion in the bayous of Louisiana. Mad Max has plans to create a race of living dead warriors for the Third Reich. But his plans are complicated by his deceased wife (Veda Ann Borg) -- a zombie who, in most unzombie-like fashion, has developed a mind of her own. Mantan Moreland reprises his role of Jeff from King of the Zombies (1941). Gale Storm (of My Little Margie fame), future Batman Robert Lowery, and cowboy actor Bob Steele co-star.

Vortexx-Bucket of Blood-20160722_Beware Theater

Friday (7/22) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959)

BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly present another monochromatic marvel from the Golden Age of Black & White -- Roger Corman's BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959). In his only starring role, veteran character actor Dick Miller plays Walter Paisley, a coffeehouse busboy who gains recognition and respect as an artistic genius after he accidentally kills his cat and covers it with plaster. And now everyone's dying (literally!) to see his next creation. Corman regulars Bruno (Fat Dave) VeSota, Antony Carbone, and Barboura Morris add great support in this delightfully campy movie, while Julian Burton hams it up as the ultimate beat poet Maxwell H. Brock. Look for Bert Convey as the undercover narc who finds himself on the wrong end of Walter's frying pan.

Vortexx-Bride and Beast-20160723_Skunky

Saturday (7/23) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
SKUNKY CINEMA
presents The Vortexx premiere of
Ed Wood's THE BRIDE AND THE BEAST (1958)

SKUNKY CINEMA with Mortimer Van Creep presents The Vortexx premiere of Ed Wood's THE THE BRIDE AND THE BEAST (1958). This may be a Vortexx premiere, but since Ed wrote the screenplay for this stinker, you already have a pretty good idea of what you're in for. It's one of the strangest love triangles ever depicted on film involving a man, a woman, and a gorilla named Spanky. Charlotte Austin and Lance Fuller, both of whom are (inexplicably for a Wood film) decent actors, play newlywed couple Laura and Dan Fuller, whose marital bliss is spoiled when Laura develops an attraction for the gorilla that big game hunter Dan keeps caged in his basement. It turns out that Laura is harboring a dark secret which, in typical Wood fashion, is revealed in the first 15 minutes of the movie. The soundtrack is by Les Baxter, who scored many a film for American International Pictures during the 1960s and 1970s. And be sure to keep an eye out for the Angora sweater. Trust us, it's there!

Vortexx-Dark Garden-20160724_Misty Brew

Sunday (7/24) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE
presents The Vortexx premiere of
DARK GARDEN (2004)

Join us tonight as we welcome MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE to The Vortexx! A true legend among horror hosts and a 2015 inductee into the Horror Host Hall of Fame, Misty has been entertaining viewers on various Fox TV affiliates and more recently on her own YouTube channel since 1983. And now you can also watch her in The Vortexx! Tonight Misty will be hosting the Vortexx premiere of DARK GARDEN (2004), a cool indie film by Patrick Bond. It's a psychological thriller about a downtrodden man named Warren (Kyle Van Pool), who finds himself having to choose between good and evil when he moves into a new house and befriends Harry (J.W. McCrary), who soon recruits Warren to assist him in his wicked ways. In addition to the movie, Misty will be entertaining us with a special interview with Mr. McCrary and previews of Misty's Coming Attractions. Don't miss it!

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

The Vortexx - Keep Calm"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

The Vortexx - President Sluggo

SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments

The Vortexx – Hosted Horror: Schedule for 10 July 2016 – 17 July 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
JULY 10 - 17, 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts_02

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

Welcome to WORST OF THE WORST WEEK in The Vortexx! Truth be told, we air a lot of crappy movies all year round in The Vortexx, but some are definitely worse than others. A few weeks ago we polled our viewers and came up with a list of the 7 ABSOLUTE WORST MOVIES we have ever inflicted on our viewing audience. This week we're airing them in roughly reverse order starting on Monday with the "least”worst and culminating next Saturday and Sunday with the absolute "worst” of the worst. Our hosts are Gorenard the Beerbarian, Sluggo and Sluggles, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Nigel Honeybone, Remo D., Scarlett Kaiju and CJ the Werewolf, Mr. Lobo, and The Bone Jangler, Nocturna & HARMony. "Enjoy" the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Vortexx-Lady Frankenstein-20160710_Gorenard

Sunday (7/10) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE GOLDEN HORDE
presents
LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971)

THE GOLDEN HORDE with that manliest of manly-men hosts Gorenard the Beerbarian presents LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971). Before we get to the really bad stuff on Monday, we're going to start off the week by watching a fairly decent movie. It's a heart-warming, gut-churning story about a daughter's love for her dad. The daughter is Tania Frankenstein (Rosalba Neri aka Sara Bay), who takes up where dear old dad (Joseph Cotten) left off, after he is killed by his stripey-pants creation. It's two monsters for the price of one, as the doctor's horny daughter creates a handsome new creature for her sexual pleasure and then screws him on the operating table while the Universal mob storms the castle. Co-starring Mickey (Crimson Executioner) Hargitay and directed by Mel (Gravis Mushnik) Welles.

Vortexx-Driller Killer-20160711_Sluggo

Monday (7/11) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
SLUGGO'S STRANGE TAILS
presents
Abel Ferrara's DRILLER KILLER (1979)

SLUGGO'S STRANGE TAILS with Sluggo and Sluggles kicks off our Worst of the Worst Week with Abel Ferrara's DRILLER KILLER (1979). Ferrara (billed as Jimmy Laine) plays a young artist who slowly goes nutzoid after a loud punk band moves into a nearby apartment and an art dealer laughs at his new creation, eventually resorting to power tools to take out his frustrations. Believe it or not, this movie actually has its share of fans, who admire its evocative depiction of 1970s New York City street life. And even in this less-than-stellar early effort Ferrara, who would go on to bigger and better things with The Addiction, Body Snatchers, Bad Lieutenant, and King of New York, shows the makings of a decent director. In between segments of the movie, Sluggo will be providing some sweet relief with Slime Time News and a musical guest.

Vortexx-Ghosts of Hanley House-20160712_Bordello

Tuesday (7/12) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
GHOSTS OF HANLEY HOUSE (1968)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Mary Johuana presents the movie everyone loves to hate -- GHOSTS OF HANLEY HOUSE (1968). For anyone not familiar with tonight's offering, it's is a really awful movie about a group of people who accept a bet to stay inside a house that was the scene of multiple murders. Imagine House on Haunted Hill gone horribly wrong, and that's the movie we'll be watching tonight. Our viewers ranked this one as "third worst" but we're airing it out of order tonight as a new-to-The-Vortexx episode of Bordello. Freaky will attempt to make up for the film's lack of quality with footage from Wizard World Madison, including interviews with Barry Bostwick, Muppet Babies creator Guy Gilchrist, and Rabbit Ears TV; musical guests The Pistols at Dawn; and a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut.

 

ortexx-Manos-20160713_Schlocky

Wednesday (7/13) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
presents
MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE (1966)

THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW with Nigel Honeybone presents the one, the only, the incomparable MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE (1966), which celebrates its 50th anniversary this year. That's right, folks! All your friends will be back tonight -- Torgo (John Reynolds), The Master (Tom Neyman), Michael (director Hal Warren) and Margaret (Diane Mahree), Little Debbie (The Master's real-life daughter Jackie Neyman), The Master’s wives, the two teens in the car, the two girls in the convertible, and Peppy the Poodle! We guarantee that by the time this movie is over, you will be reduced to a tube of meat ready to be extruded through your brainstem. [Manos poster by Mariods courtesy of Deviant Art.]

Vortexx-Aladdin-20160714_RemoD

Thursday (7/7) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM
presents
ALADDIN (1986)

Anyone expecting to see a kiddie movie along the lines of the 1992 Disney animated hit is going to be sorely disappointed. This bizarre and raunchy update of the Arabian Nights classic features European superstar Bud Spencer (Carlo Pedersoli) as a genie who pops out of a lantern in modern-day Miami and grants a teenager named Al Haddin his proverbial three wishes. When this movie aired in The Vortexx last April, it immediately shot to the top of our viewers' "worst movies" list. And tonight we're going to remind you why.

 

Vortexx-Jekyll and Hyde-20160715_Mansion

Friday (7/15) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MANSION OF MYSTERY
presents
JEKYLL & HYDE: THE MUSICAL (1973)

MANSION OF MYSTERY with Scarlett Kaiju and CJ the Werewolf presents JEKYLL & HYDE: THE MUSICAL. Unfortunately, this is not the long-awaited film version of the Tony Award-nominated Broadway musical. It's an obscure, ultra-cheapo 1973 Made-for-TV adaptation of the Robert Louis Stevenson classic. Despite a stellar cast including Kirk Douglas, Donald Pleasence, and Susan George, not one of these thespians can carry a tune -- something of a fatal flaw in a musical. Douglas does manage a clever turn as the sinister Mr. Hyde, but he is horribly miscast as the kindly Dr. Jekyll and the infamous "bicycle scene" must be seen in order to be believed. All in all, a fitting entry for our "worst movies" week.

Vortexx-Santa Martians-20160716_CinemaInsomnia

Saturday (7/16) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
CINEMA INSOMNIA
WITH MR. LOBO
presents
SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964)

Join us tonight for the second worst of "the worst" as CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964). Santa is kidnapped by the Martians, who take him back to their own planet where he brings fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars -- while inflicting untold misery on all the rest of us. Broadway veteran John Call stars as Santa. The supporting cast includes a prepubescent Pia Zadora as the little Martian girl Girmar, Tony Award winner Bill McCutcheon as the buffoonish Dropo, and Jamie Farr lookalike Al Nesor as Stobo. Mr. Lobo and co-host Miss Mittens make this steaming turd somewhat more palatable with hilarious yuletide humor, retro toy commercials, cuddly cartoons, movie trailers, and a special guest appearance by Ro-Man from Robot Monster.

Vortexx-Santa Ice Cream Bunny-20160717_BoneJangler

Sunday (7/17) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE BONE JANGLER
presents
SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972)

Join us tonight for the rock-bottom absolute "worst of the worst" as THE BONE JANGLER with co-hosts Nocturna and HARMony host SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972). This live-action feature begins with Santa (with a large sweat stain on his butt) and his sleigh stuck in the sand on a Florida beach, just days before Christmas Eve. The children from a nearby subdivision try to extricate the sleigh but nothing works, and the kids are afraid they won't get any gifts on Christmas. To boost their spirits, Santa decides to tells them a story. The setting then dissolves into a movie-within-the-movie -- Thumbelina (1970) starring Shay Gardner as a bouncy, bra-less, mini-skirted hippie chick who wanders through a tacky Florida amusement park imagining she is Thumbelina. When we aired this stinker in December 2014, we had to lock the chatroom doors to prevent our viewers from fleeing in droves. And poor Destroyah, who hosted the chat, still hasn't recovered from the experience despite more than eighteen months of intensive therapy. Watch it if you dare. You've been warned!

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

Vortexx-Sluggo in daisiesSLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments
The Vortexx – Hosted Horror: Schedule for 3 July 2016 – 10 July 2016

The Vortexx – Hosted Horror: Schedule for 3 July 2016 – 10 July 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
JULY 03 - 10, 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts

Welcome to THE VORTEXXwhere it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME! We've got a great line-up of hosts, shows, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure, including one terrific Indie returning to The Vortexx for "INDEPENDENTS" DAY on Monday as well as several additional returning favorites. Our hosts are Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Dr. Sigmund Zoid, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Dr. Lady & the Usual Suspects, Bobby Gammonster & Boris The Buzzard, Riggor Mortiss & Nyte Angel, Lord Blood-Rah, and Gorenard the Beerbarian. Check out the schedule for details about all the fine shows airing this week in The Vortexx. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

Vortexx-Beware Theater-20160703

BEWARE THEATER presents THE KILLER SHREWS (1959)

Sunday (7/3) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
THE KILLER SHREWS (1959)

BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another gem from the Golden Age of Black & White -- THE KILLER SHREWS (1959). On an isolated island, a small group of people are terrorized by giant voracious shrews in the midst of a hurricane. Who cares if the shrews are really just dogs with rugs attached to them? This is a highly entertaining movie! The all-star cast includes James (Rosco P. Coltraine ) Best, Ken (Festus) Curtis, and Ingrid (Miss Sweden 1956 ) Goude.

Vortexx-Puppet-20160704_Doctor Sigmund Zoid

ALTERNATIVE REALITIES presents PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE (2010)

Monday (7/4) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
ALTERNATIVE REALITIES
presents a Vortexx indie favorite
Dustin Wayde Mills' PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE (2010)

Join us tonight for our "Independents" Day Celebration as ALTERNATIVE REALITIES with Dr. Sigmund Zoid presents a Vortexx indie favorite -- Dustin Wayde Mills' PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE (2010). A group of teens are challenged to spend a night in the Wagner mansion on the edge of town. Little do they know that the owner, Dr. Wolfgang Wagner, has concocted a monstrosity in the basement and plans to make the hapless teens the creature's first big meal. The actors in this movie are all puppets, so if you've ever wondered what boobs would look like on Sesame Street, then this is definitely the movie for you.

Vortexx-Messiah-20160705_Bordello

BORDELLO OF HORROR presents MESSIAH OF EVIL (1973)

Tuesday (7/5) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
MESSIAH OF EVIL (1973)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Mary Johuana presents MESSIAH OF EVIL (1973). It's about a woman looking for her missing artist father who discovers a zombie cult that is wiping out a Californian seaside town. The film was written by Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz, who received an Oscar nomination a year later for writing American Graffiti. In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests Monster Mob, a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut, and more!

Vortexx-Blood Coffin-20160706_Dr Lady

THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW presents DR. BLOOD'S COFFIN (1961)

Wednesday (7/6) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW
presents
DR. BLOOD'S COFFIN (1961)

Dr. Lady and the Usual Suspects present DR. BLOOD'S COFFIN (1961). Kieron Moore chain smokes his way through this creepy British thriller as Dr. Peter Blood, who plans to kill "worthless" people and use their hearts to revive "worthy" corpses. The beautiful Hazel Court co-stars as the nurse whose late husband becomes a candidate for the doctor's experiments. Hey, Dr. Blood, if you didn't smoke so much, maybe you wouldn't be "coffin."

Vortexx-Gamera-20160707_Bobby G

MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT presents GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE (1965)

Thursday (7/7) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT
presents
GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE (1965)

Bobby Gammonster and Boris the Buzzard presents everyone's favorite giant flying turtle GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE (1965). An atomic explosion awakens our giant, fire-breathing title monster from his millions of years of hibernation. Will anyone be able to stop him before he turns all of Tokyo into turtle soup? Starring Brian (Quatermass) Donlevy, Albert (Dr. Cyclops) Dekker, and a whole bunch of Japanese actors you've probably never heard of, this is the very first movie in the popular Gamera series. And, yes, it is spelled Gammera in the original American release.

Vortexx-Mask of Satan-20160708_Riggor

RIGGOR MORTISS PRESENTS THE MASK OF SATAN (1960)

Friday (7/8) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
RIGGOR MORTISS
presents
Mario Bava's THE MASK OF SATAN (1960)

Riggor and co-host Nyte Angel returns to The Vortexx to present Mario Bava's THE MASK OF SATAN (1960). Scream queen Barbara Steele plays a dual role as a vengeful witch who returns from the grave and the beautiful descendant whose body she wants to possess. This film was originally released in the U.S. as Black Sundaywith some of the gorier parts cut out and a new score by Les Baxter. The version we're showing tonight is the English-language version of the original film (with all the gory scenes left in) and with the original Italian score by Roberto Nicolosi.

Vortexx-Magic Sword-20160709_Lord Blood-Rah

LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents THE MAGIC SWORD (1962)

Saturday (7/9) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S
NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE
presents
THE MAGIC SWORD (1962)

This delightful sword-and-sorcery fantasy from Bert I. Gordon (Mr. B.I.G.) stars Basil Rathbone as the turban-wearing evil sorcerer Lodac, who kidnaps the beautiful Princess Helene (Ann Helm) and develops seven challenges for her would-be rescuer Sir George (Gary Lockwood). The stellar supporting cast includes Maila (Vampira) Nurmi as a hag, Richard (Jaws) Kiel as a giant pinhead, Estelle Winwood as the bumbling good witch Sybil, and veteran B-movie little guy Angelo Rossito as (surprise! surprise!) a dwarf. As always, Lord Blood-Rah will be spicing up the mix with some cool trailers, a Cranial Cavity Search, and other extras.

Vortexx-Lady Frankenstein-20160710_Gorenard

THE GOLDEN HORDE presents LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971)

Sunday (7/10) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE GOLDEN HORDE
presents
LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971)

THE GOLDEN HORDE with that manliest of manly-men hosts Gorenard the Beerbarian presents LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971). It's a heart-warming, gut-churning story about a daughter's love for her dad. The daughter is Tania Frankenstein (Rosalba Neri aka Sara Bay), who takes up where dear old dad (Joseph Cotten) left off, after he is killed by his stripey-pants creation. It's two monsters for the price of one, as the doctor's horny daughter creates a handsome new creature for her sexual pleasure and then screws him on the operating table while the Universal mob storms the castle. Co-starring Mickey (Crimson Executioner) Hargitay and directed by Mel (Gravis Mushnik) Welles.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

The Vortexx cubeWelcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!
"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

 

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!

Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

 

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

Kurt will sell you a car at a steal!

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!

Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

 

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

 

Vortexx - Skull cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!

Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

 

 

 

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

 

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

 

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

 

Vortexx - Slugnado

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments

The Vortexx – Hosted Horror: Schedule for 19 June – 26 June 2016

VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
JUNE 19 - JUNE 26, 2016

By The Crimson Executioner
&
Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx Hosts

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME! We've got another great line-up of hosts, shows, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure this week with several Vortexx favorites and a field trip to the Peninsula of Horror on Saturday. Our hosts are Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Mr. Lobo, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Dr. Lady & the Usual Suspects, Ghosts on the Big Brown Couch, Lord Blood-Rah, The Bone Jangler & Coven girls Nocturna and Penny Layne, and (at the Peninsula of Horror) Professor Gillman, Freezer Mortis & Oliver. Check out the schedule for details about all the fine shows airing this week in The Vortexx. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

20160619_The Vortexx - Beware Theater

Sunday (6/19) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BEWARE THEATER
presents
THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE (1962)

BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly present another cinematic gem from the Golden Age of Black and White (and a Vortexx favorite) -- THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE (1962). Affectionately known to its many fans as "The Brain That Wouldn't Shuddup" and "Jan in the Pan," this film has everything that a B-movie fan could possibly ask for -- mutants, mad doctors, talking heads, cat fighting strippers, and some of the sleaziest, most infectious music you've ever heard. [Artwork courtesy of Arachna of the Spider People.]

Vortexx-Lobo-Plan 9-20160620

Monday (6/20) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO
presents Ed Wood's
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)

CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO returns to The Vortexx with Ed Wood's PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959). A couple of pompous aliens in silk pajamas (Dudley Manlove and Joanna Lee) and their leader The Ruler (Bunny Breckinridge) plan to resurrect Bela Lugosi, Vampira, and Tor Johnson as slow moving zombies. Why? Because all you of Earth are Idiots! Bela died shortly before shooting began, so Ed used some footage he had of Bela, wrote a script around it, and persuaded his wife's chiropractor (Tom Mason) to shoot the rest of the scenes with a cape hiding his face. Did he really think no one would notice? We're sure Mr. Lobo is going to have a lot of fun with this one!

Vortexx-Freakshow-Rattlers-20160621

Tuesday (6/21). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
RATTLERS (1976)

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, and Ali Katt presents RATTLERS (1976). When two young boys are savagely attacked and killed by a legion of rattlesnakes in a small California desert town, the local sheriff (Tony Ballen) calls upon herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson (Sam Chew) to discover why the snakes are displaying abnormal aggression. Their investigation leads them to a nearby army base, where the commanding officer, Colonel Stroud (Dan Priest), seems strangely reluctant to help them. In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests John Masino Band - JMB and more!

Vortexx-Dr Lady-Black Sabbath-20160622

Wednesday (6/22). 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW
presents Mario Bava's
BLACK SABBATH (1964)

THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW with Dr. Lady and the Usual Suspects presents Mario Bava's BLACK SABBATH (1964). This excellent trilogy of terror is hosted by Boris Karloff, who also stars in the third (and arguably best) episode -- "The Wurdalak." Based on a story by Tolstoy, it's about a family in nineteenth-century Russia who are plagued by a particularly vicious line of vampires. Boris sets out to destroy them, only to become one himself. The other two episodes are about a nurse who steals a diamond ring from the hand of a dead clairvoyant (with somewhat predictable results) and a hooker who receives threatening calls from a dead man she betrayed. Originally released as I tre volti della paura (Three Faces of Fear), this movie was Boris's only screen appearance as a vampire, so don't miss it! [Movie poster courtesy of Doktor Sick.]

Vortexx-Ghosts Brown Couch-Naked Witch-20160623

Thursday (6/23) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
GHOSTS ON THE BIG BROWN COUCH
present Larry Buchanan's
THE NAKED WITCH (1961)

GHOSTS ON THE BIG BROWN COUCH return to The Vortexx as our three lovely ghosts (Dori, Becky, and Babs) along with Johnny (the guy who moved into their apartment) present Larry Buchanan's THE NAKED WITCH (1961). A witch (who happens to be both beautiful and naked) is brought back from the grave and embarks on a campaign of revenge against the descendants of the folks who were responsible for her death. This is the film that helped launch Buchanan's career -- which, by the way, is NOT a good thing.

Vortexx-Lord Blood-Rah-Dead Men Walk-20160624

Friday (6/24) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE
presents
DEAD MEN WALK (1943)

George Zucco has a dual role as a Satan worshipper who returns from the grave to menace his twin brother, a kindly small-town physician. Dwight (Renfield) Frye plays bad-guy Zucco's hunchback henchman. It's fun to watch Zucco, who plays a villain in most movies, working both sides of the street. And you can depend on Lord Blood-Rah to spice up the mix with some cool trailers and a Cranial Cavity Search.

Vortexx-Peninsula 01-20160625

Saturday (6/25) @ 8:00 P.M. (ET)
THE PENINSULA OF HORROR
-- the showcase for Florida's finest horror hosts --
presents
A CASE OF MURDER CHAT NIGHT!

First up at 8 (ET) FORMERLY CRAPPICS with Freezer Mortis presents THE TICKET OF LEAVE MAN (1937). An ex-convict on parole ("ticket of leave") who is falsely accused of a series of murders must prove his innocence by catching the real murderer -- a crazed serial killer known as The Tiger (the aptly named Tod Slaughter). Along with the movie, there will be expert analysis and "color commentary" by our favorite serial killer and neighborhood psychopath -- Oliver from OLIVER'S TWISTED BARGAIN BASEMENT MIDNIGHT MOVIE STONER FRIENDLY FREAK SHOW. Then stick around at approximately 10 (ET) as THE PROFESSOR GILLMAN SHOW presents THE BLOODY BROOD (1959). Peter (Columbo) Falk chews the scenery as Nico, the psychotic leader of a drug-dealing gang of beatniks, while Prof. Gillman chews even more scenery as Lt. Gillumbo of the Lagoon Angeles Police Dept. in one of our all-time favorite Professor Gillman episodes. There will be a Pre-Fourth of July “Strike Up The Band” PreShow for The Early Boids at 7 (ET), and Professor Gillman will be broadcasting LIVE from Lagoon House between the shows.

Vortexx-Peninsula 02-20160625

PLEASE NOTE: Tonight's feature will be aired on The Peninsula of Horror's Livestream channel -- livestream.com/tpoh. Viewers who show up on The Vortexx channel Saturday night will be re-directed there, so you can save yourself a couple of steps by going directly to The Peninsula of
Horror
.

Vortexx-Bone Jangler-Devil's Hand-20160626

Sunday (6/26) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
THE BONE JANGLER
presents
THE DEVIL'S HAND (1962)

THE BONE JANGLER with co-hosts Nocturna and Penny Layne presents THE DEVIL'S HAND (1962). Tonight's movie is about a group of cultists led by Commissioner Gordon of the Batman TV series (Neil Hamilton) who worship a Devil God named Camba. The cultists spend most of their time chanting and dancing to exotic sounding flute and drum beats, but their leader also has a nifty sacrifice machine consisting of a wheel with sharp swords. Of course, the real fun of tonight's show is not the movie itself but the clever host bits, as well as the numerous sound inserts and nostalgic commercials that TBJ throws into the mix. This was Penny's second appearance on the show, shot a month after her famous "ladder" scene in the TBJ Christmas special.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

The Vortexx Eyeballs

"Every day is a good day that ends in the Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net

The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

Available in three convenient sizes!
Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of the Vortexx!

The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

The Official Food of The Vortexx!
Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

The Vortexx - Chia Host

BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

Two delicious pickle treats!

Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

The Vortexx - Egg Bleach

"Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

The Vortexx - President Sluggo

SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments
The Vortexx: Schedule for June 6 – 12, 2016

The Vortexx: Schedule for June 6 – 12, 2016

Welcome to The Vortexx - A Special Friend of House of Tortured Souls

By Woofer McWooferson

The Vortexx 5 years header

House of Tortured Souls would like to welcome The Vortexx as a friend of the House. Please give a warm welcome to those crazy horror hosts at The Vortexx and check out their shows this week.

The Vortexx Hosts

Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME! We've got another great line-up of hosts, shows, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure this week, with two movies making their Vortexx debut along with some cool indie films and several returning favorites. Our hosts are Doctor Mortose, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Edgar von Ghoul, The Reaper, Dr. Lady & the Usual Suspects, Rizzle MaNizzle the Clown, Lord Blood-Rah, and Bobby Gammonster & Boris the Buzzard. Please note that during the month of June, we will be adding a Sunday show to our weekly line-up, so there will be a featured movie and moderated chat every night of the week. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

20150606-12_The Vortexx - Doctor Mortose

DOCTOR MORTOSE COMMANDS
presents
SCARED TO DEATH (1980)

Monday (6/6). 9:00 P.M. (ET). DOCTOR MORTOSE COMMANDS presents The Vortexx premiere of SCARED TO DEATH (1980). No, folks, this is not the Bela Lugosi movie from the 1940s that we've aired a few times before. This film by Bill Malone, who was the chief designer at the Don Post mask studios, is about a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong. The result is an Alien-like creature with an appetite for spinal fluid called Syngenor (Synthesized Genetic Organism).

20150606-12_The Vortexx - Bordello of Horror

BORDELLO OF HORROR
presents
MONSTER OF GOLDEN GATE (2013)

Tuesday (6/7). 9:00 P.M. (ET). BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, and Ali Katt presents MONSTER OF GOLDEN GATE (2013). This throwback to those awesome black-and-white cheesy monster movies of the ‘50s and ‘60s was directed by Renya Young better known to horror fans as Miss Misery, the host of Movie Massacre. Freaky will kick off the show with two short indie horror films -- Hi Neighbor directed by Chad Halvorsen and Frigid Night directed by Robby McBride. There will also be interviews from the Milwaukee Twisted Dreams Film Festival with Christopher Kai House, Michael Viers, Alice Wilson, Hart Fisher, James Bett Jr and Kevin Jamison, as well as musical guests Kitty in a Casket.

20150606-12_The Vortexx - Your Final Answer & Midnight Chillers

WEDNESDAY DOUBLE FEATURE:
YOUR FINAL ANSWER and MIDNIGHT CHILLERS
present
GURU: THE MAD MONK (1971)

Wednesday (6/8). 9:00 P.M. (ET). Join us tonight for a WEDNESDAY DOUBLE FEATURE! We kick off the evening with a generous serving of YOUR FINAL ANSWER -- a weekly comedy series (2-3 minutes per episode) hosted by The Reaper who answers Q&As from his viewers. He's bumbling, idiotic, has a habit of never getting around to an answer -- and is absolutely hilarious. Next up is MIDNIGHT CHILLERS with Edgar von Ghoul, who will be presenting The Vortexx premiere of Andy Milligan's GURU: THE MAD MONK (1971). It's about a deranged chaplain at a 15th-century prison colony, who's got a vampire mistress and a one-eyed hunchback servant named (of course) Igor. Edgar's special guest tonight is former disc jockey Ray Green, whose main claim to fame is being one of the first to interview Elvis Presley (on his radio show in May 1956) -- and the first to record an Elvis concert in its entirety.

20150606-12_The Vortexx - Late Dr. Lady

THE LATE DR LADY SHOW
presents
CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (1972)

Thursday (6/9). 9:00 P.M. (ET). THE LATE DR LADY SHOW with Dr. Lady and the Usual Suspects presents a Vortexx favorite -- CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (1972). Although dismissed at the time of its release as just "another zombie movie," this film has since been recognized as being years ahead of its time in its frank depiction of same-sex undead marriage. It's about a group of friends who go to an island to act out a satanic rite involving a corpse they name Orville. Needless to say, it all goes horribly awry. Director Bob Clark would go on to bigger and better things with Porky's and A Christmas Story.

20150606-12_The Vortexx - Rizzle MaNizzle
RIZZLE'S FUNHOUSE OF LUNACY DOUBLE FEATURE!
GLEN OR GLENDA? (1953)
and
BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (1965)

Friday (6/10). 9:00 P.M. (ET). Join us tonight for a RIZZLE'S FUNHOUSE OF LUNACY DOUBLE FEATURE! First up is Ed Wood's GLEN OR GLENDA (1953) starring Ed himself as Glen, a tortured soul who is afraid to tell his wife (real-life girlfriend Dolores Fuller) that he enjoys putting on Angora sweaters and going out at night as Glenda. Bela Lugosi is also on hand, sitting in an easy chair in a room full of skulls, shrunken heads, and voodoo dolls, and uttering non sequiturs such as "pull ze string!" Then be sure stick around as Rizzle and co-hosts Midnight Murray and The Crimson Executioner present BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (1965) like you've never seen it before. There will be plenty of voiceovers, cartoons, accordion music and other audio goodies, and CE will be trying his hand as Uncle Crimmie, host of a children's show at the Crazy Castle of Lunacy, and as an anchor man on Crimson Action News. We guarantee you'll all be scratching your heads in total amazement! [CE artwork courtesy of Doc Mortose.]

20150606-12_The Vortexx - Lord Blood-Rah

LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE
presents
TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST (1976)

Saturday (6/11). 9:00 P.M. (ET). LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST (1976). After a beefy young mineralogist (Chase Cordell) gets boinked in the head by a meteor fragment, he is transformed into a hideous lizard-like monster whenever the moon comes out. Badly paced and badly shot, with a badly constructed story and a mostly talentless cast playing cardboard characters, its one saving feature is that soon-to-be-famous Rick Baker designed the beast. As always, Lord Blood-Rah will be spicing up the mix with some cool trailers and a Cranial Cavity Search.

20150606-12_The Vortexx - Bobby Gammonster

MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT
presents
EMBRYO (1976)

Sunday (6/12). MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT with Bobby Gammonster and Boris The Buzzard presents EMBRYO (1976). You don't have a lot of opportunities to see Rock Hudson in The Vortexx, let alone Rock Hudson playing a mad scientist, so come on by tonight and enjoy! In tonight's movie Doc Rock figures out a way to grow a fetus into adulthood within a matter of weeks, and, of course, things soon go horribly wrong. Sultry Barbara Carrera co-stars, with guest appearances by Roddy McDowall and Dr. Joyce Brothers.

"Every day is a good day that ends in the Vortexx."

So check out The Vortexx at horrorhost.net or click on the cube.

The Vortexx cube

Posted by Alan Smithee in HOSTED HORROR, 0 comments