By The Crimson Executioner
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS IN THE VORTEXX!!!
Welcome to THE VORTEXX, where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME! We wish all our friends in The Vortexx family Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! We have an eclectic assortment of holiday-themed entertainment coming your way this week with a mix of traditional Vortexx favorites and two new movies making their Vortexx debut. Beginning on Monday there will be Christmas shows from Deadgar Winter, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Remo D. & friends, Lord Blood-Rah, and Scarlett Kaiju & CJ the Werewolf. Our very own bearer of Yuletide gifts, Christmas Daddy, will be reading your e-mails on Saturday, and we'll conclude our celebration on Christmas Day with a Misty Brew Christmas Show. And be sure to come by this Sunday for a great show by Arachna of the Spider People and a movie review by Movie House Ron. Enjoy our shows and thanks for hanging out!
BEWARE THEATER presents Roger Corman's A BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959)
Sunday (12/18). 9:00 P.M. (ET) BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another monochromatic marvel from the Golden Age of Black & White -- Roger Corman's A BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959). In his only starring role, veteran character actor Dick Miller plays Walter Paisley, a coffeehouse busboy who gains recognition and respect as an artistic genius after he accidentally kills his cat and covers it with plaster. And now everyone's dying (literally!) to see his next creation. Corman regulars Bruno (Fat Dave) VeSota, Antony Carbone, and Barboura Morris add great support in this delightfully campy movie, while Julian Burton hams it up as the ultimate beat poet Maxwell H. Brock. Look for Bert Convey as the undercover narc who finds himself on the wrong end of Walter's frying pan.
MOVIE HOUSE HOT TAKE reviews BLACKOUT (1985)
Sunday (12/18). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) Please note: Arachna's show will be preceded by a MOVIE HOUSE HOT TAKE with Ron Purtee. Tonight Ron's new director has decided that he should talk about the 1985 HBO "classic" BLACKOUT starring Richard Widmark, Keith Carradine, Michael Beck, and Kathleen Quinlan. You might think with a cast like that, the director could have done a better job keeping the boom mic out of camera range!
DEADGAR'S DARK COFFIN CLASSICS presents SILENT NIGHT BLOODY NIGHT (1974)
Monday (12/19). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) DEADGAR'S DARK COFFIN CLASSICS with Deadgar Winter and co-hosts Sorceress Celeste & Maleva Ravic presents that perennial Christmas horror classic SILENT NIGHT BLOODY NIGHT (1974) starring Patrick O'Neal, John Carradine, and Andy Warhol favorites Mary Woronov, Candy Darling, Ondine, Kristen Steen, Tally Brown, and Lewis Love. A man returns to a house owned by his late grandfather that had once been an institution for the criminally insane. The grandfather died a horrible death in the house on Christmas Eve. Could the same fate be in store for the grandson? Join us tonight and find out. [Movie poster by Sean Hartter courtesy of Saturday Fright Special.]
BORDELLO OF HORROR presents DISMEMBERING CHRISTMAS (2015)
Tuesday (12/20). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Beelzabroad presents a heart-warming, gut-churning holiday treat from our friends at Slasher Studios -- DISMEMBERING CHRISTMAS (2015). It's a holiday of horrors for a group of teens at an isolated winter vacation house with a bloody past in this holiday-themed slasher film from the team who gave us Don't Go to the Reunion. If you think wreaths, candy canes, and Christmas trees can't kill anyone, better think again! Executive producer and co-writer Kevin Summerfield makes an uncredited appearance as the stepdad. During the host breaks Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests Droids Attack, a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut, and more!
REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM presents The Vortexx premiere of Rod Serling's A CAROL FOR ANOTHER CHRISTMAS (1964)
Wednesday (12/21). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM with Remo D. and co-hosts Dr. Montag, Kato the Black Hornet, and Firewater presents The Vortexx premiere of A CAROL FOR ANOTHER CHRISTMAS (1964). Rod (Twilight Zone) Serling wrote the script for this update of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and Academy Award winning writer-director Joseph L. Mankiewicz produced and directed this made-for-TV movie which first aired on ABC on December 28, 1964 and was not aired again until Turner Classic Movies broadcast it in 2012. The all-star cast includes Peter Sellers, Sterling Hayden (his co-star in Dr. Strangelove), Britt Ekland, Ben Gazarra, Steve Lawrence, Robert Shaw, and Eva Marie Saint. Meanwhile back in the Manor, Remo and the gang enact their own version of the Dickens classic.
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964)
Thursday (12/22). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964). No week of Christmas shows would be compete without this perennial holiday classic! We air it every year in The Vortexx, but tonight will be your first time to see Lord Blood-Rah's take on this unique Christmas stinker. John Call, who enjoyed a 30-year career on Broadway, stars as Santa; Tony Award winner (and Jamie Farr lookalike) Bill McCutcheon is the buffoonish Martian Dropo; and a prepubescent Pia Zadora is the little Martian girl Girmar. We expect that Lord Blood-Rah will liven up the proceedings with his usual assortment of movie trailers and other cool extras.
MANSION of MYSTERY presents The Vortexx premiere of IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE...IT'S SUPERMAN (1975)
Friday (12/23). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) Join us tonight as MANSION of MYSTERY ends its Second Season with a fun episode entitled Musical Crisis. As we learned last month, Scarlett Kaiju has contacted Tripp Punter and the new Legends of Fifteen Minutes Ago for help as people have suddenly begun breaking out in song for no reason. And what is the goal of the mysterious figure known as The Phantom of the Mansion? Fittingly enough, tonight's movie is a musical -- The Vortexx premiere of IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE...IT'S SUPERMAN (1975). It's a cringe-worthy made-for-TV adaptation of the 1966 stage musical that will make you nostalgic for Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. According to Scarlett, who appeared in a local production some years back, the original wasn't too bad. However, this version was apparently mounted by the only people in the free world unfamiliar with the characters and situations. Miscasting abounds with Kenneth (Young Frankenstein) Mars as a suave gossip columnist, Allen (Password) Ludden as Perry White, and Loretta (M*A*S*H) Swit as a spunky ingénue. Other actors -- Leslie (Cinderella) Warren as Lois Lane and David (Ellery Queen) Wayne as a grandfatherly mad scientist - just seem confused. And, sadly, our Man of Steel, David (Eddie and the Cruisers) Wilson, is both miscast and confused. The script suffers from having an entire plot line and major character removed, and the music - a large portion of which is scuttled - is presented in tinny 70s variety show style. This is gonna be the new movie you love to hate! [Superman artwork by Joshua Werner.]
Saturday (12/24). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) Tonight is The Night Before Christmas and that means our very own bearer of Yuletide gifts will be coming to The Vortexx for a CHRISTMAS DADDY SPECIAL! A new slack module . . . a membership in the Puppy of the Month Club . . . a Dr Lady action figure . . . a singing Sluggo plushie that also does lap dances. . . . Those are just a few of the wonderful gifts that Christmas Daddy has given to our viewers in years past. Whatever it is you asked for this year, Christmas Daddy will be here tonight to read your e-mails, show your videos, and make your Christmas wishes come true. As always, there will be plenty of cartoons and other extra cool stuff to keep you entertained throughout the night. Please note: For those of you who couldn't tune in earlier, or who just want to see it again, Christmas Daddy's show will be repeated at approximately 11:00 P.M. (E.T.)
LORD BLOOD-RAH'S TREMULOUS TRAILERS and A CLASSIC CHRISTMAS WITH MISTY BREW!
Sunday (12/25). 9:00 P.M. (E.T.) Merry Christmas to all our friends in The Vortexx! After you've finished opening the presents and enjoyed your Christmas dinner, come on over to The Vortexx for a special holiday treat! No Vortexx Christmas would be complete without Night of the Living Dead so we're going to air the very first episode of LORD BLOOD-RAH'S TREMULOUS TRAILERS and get LBR's take on George Romero's Zombie classic. Then stick around for A CLASSIC CHRISTMAS WITH MISTY BREW! Misty will be presenting a generous assortment of Christmas-themed cartoons, commercials, movie trailers, short features, and oddball items such as Alice Cooper's twisted rendition of The Night Before Christmas. And since it's Christmas, Santa will, of course, be making an appearance!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS IN THE VORTEXX FROM SLUGGO AND CE!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM DR. ZOID, DOK SICK, AND THE ENTIRE STAFF OF THE VORTEXX!