BOOK REVIEW: Tempus Investigations (2016)

By Woofer McWooferson

Tempus Investigations:
A Fictional TV Series

Author: Claus Holm; Publisher: CreateSpace; ISBN-10: 1534876294 | ISBM-13: 978-1534876293; Media: Paperback and ePub; Length: 268 pages; Genre: Crime / Horror / Fantasy; Country: USA; Language: English; Year: 2016

From the Amazon.com description:

Jim Corrigan died in 1933… but he returned to life. Now, he can’t die. Through the first season, Jim and his friends matches wits with the supernatural side of San Francisco, making both new friends – and a few enemies. Tempus Investigations mixes the world of TV and books, making a unique kind of story – a fan fiction so elaborate it needed to create the show itself. In this book, you’ll find the first four episodes, which form Season 1. If you love shows like Buffy, Angel and Supernatural – tune in for Tempus Investigations!

Tempus Investigations is the latest offering from Danish author Claus Holm and, as the snippet notes, it’s about an undead private detective with the ability to see and communicate with the spirit world and who specializes in unusual cases. Jim Corrigan is a hard-boiled detective in the vein of Phillip Marlowe who has had to adapt to the world as it has changed since he died. His occupation as a private detective keeps him busy and away from most people, and this is fine by him. Until it isn’t.

The overarching story of Tempus Investigations is the of how Jim’s life changes when he encounters various people who eventually become part of his investigative team. Each case not only has Jim uncovering clues to some truly heinous crimes but also uncovering people who find his specialty area as intriguing as they find him. The book is set up as a TV show with each case being an episode – or a series of episodes – and the reader is invited to imagine how it would play out on TV. This is not a difficult task for the reader as Holm’s narrative is both rich and descriptive. Not only can you see what he’s describing, you can practically feel and smell the crime scenes Jim investigates. Because his characters are people, they are fully realized with their own personal idiosyncracies and charms. We are not presented with the usual cardboard cutouts often found in modern fiction.

Although Danish, Holm has a good grasp of American culture and it is as true in this book as in his last. Dialogue, always tricky for a writer, is no problem here. Corrigan and the other characters speak naturally with no awkward exposition pieces shoehorned in to force the plot forward. What happens, happens naturally. Indeed, the speech patterns as well as the topics are as natural as one can wish for in a detective story. But it’s far more than just a detective story. It is also a tale of the supernatural, magic, history, and the human condition. And it’s damn entertaining.

Find out more about Claus Holm on his Facebook page or his author page at Amazon.com. Read the beginning of Tempus Investigations here, and purchase your own copy to finish reading it (you’ll want to!) here.

10/10 claws – Renewed for another season!

FULL DISCLOSURE: I was an editor for this publication, too. It was my great good fortune to be able to read this before it was available to the public.

SPOTLIGHT: Spirit Halloween

By Woofer McWooferson

Fall Means Halloween

As anyone who loves Halloween in North America knows, Spirit Halloween stores as much a seasonal tradition as trick-or-treating. For those who don't know,

Spirit Halloween (spirithalloween.com) is the largest Halloween specialty retailer in the country with more than 1,200 locations in strip centers and malls across North America. Celebrating 33 years of business, Spirit is the authority on all things Halloween, offering one-stop shopping for everything from costumes to decor and party goods to accessories. In addition to being a fun and interactive event for shoppers, Spirit stores offer complete selections of costumes and accessories for infants/toddlers, children, 'tweens, teens, and adults along with exclusive décor you won't find anywhere else.

For a lover of Halloween and things spooky, a trip to a Spirit Halloween store is like walking through the Winter Wonderland and Santa’s Workshop to those who favor Christmas. Being able to browse their wares in person is a real treat

Spirit Halloween retail locations feature larger-than-life, nightmare-inducing animatronic displays for the home. Those tempted to walk around the spine-chilling “Clock Tower” will be frightened by the motion-activated Howling Werewolf, a life-size Swinging Scarecrow, a crazed three headed dog Cerberus, and back by popular demand, the evil Lil Skelly Bones. Brave shoppers can also experience the “Haunted Hotel” where Floating Ghost Girl surprises from above with demonic laughter and a haunting cry followed by the Electrified Corpse, which hangs upside down, shaking and glowing from LED lights and equipped with screaming, moaning, popping and zapping sounds.

For those planning a party but still undecided on a theme,

Spirit’s wide selection of new Ouija-themed items allows the stylish hostess to match a Ouija dress and scarf with Ouija candles, pint glasses, shot glasses and more. With themed décor such as Spirit’s Haunted Séance Board, spooky Ghost Writing Book, motion-activated Spider Portrait and Whirl-A-Motion LED projection spotlights, it’s never been easier to transform a home into the neighborhood’s most talked about haunted house.

Costumes and Costuming

The most anticipated items are the costumes. What has hit Spirit Halloween for the season? Spirit Halloween offers a variety of costumes to satisfy all ages and costuming desire. This year’s top picks and can’t-go-wrong selections range from presidential candidates to superheroes and villains to animation and games. From their latest press release, here are the top ten costumes/categories for 2016:

Anti-heroes

2016 is all about the anti-heroes. And doesn’t it feel so good to be bad! Harley Quinn, the Joker and Deadpool all combine the daring and mischievous traits of a villain with the heart of a hero.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Spirit_Anti-Hero_Deadpool01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Deadpool
Spirit_Anti-Hero_Deadpool02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Deadpool Hoodie
Spirit_Anti-Hero_Deadpool03 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Deadpool Pants
Spirit_Anti-Hero_Harley-Quinn01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Harley Quinn
Spirit_Anti-Hero_Harley-Quinn02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Harley Quinn, Daddy's Little Monster
Spirit_Girl-Power_Batgirl01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Batgirl
Spirit_Girl-Power_Batgirl02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Batgirl
Spirit_Girl-Power_Supergirl01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Supergirl
Spirit_Girl-Power_Supergirl02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Supergirl
Spirit_Girl-Power_Wonder-Woman01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Wonder Woman
Spirit_Girl-Power_Wonder-Woman02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Wonder Woman

Girl Power

Who runs the world? Girls. Fierce, fearless females remain popular this year, with super heroines Supergirl, Batgirl and Wonder Woman (who celebrates her 75th super hero-versary in 2016!) as well as real-life heroes: doctors, police officers and firefighters. Daughters will be thrilled to coordinate with moms in costumes for all sizes.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Election 2016

America’s top candidates for president are the most controversial to date. Spirit Halloween has both realistic and humorous candidate masks and wigs for a creative political statement. Accessorize your candidate to show their sexy side, devilish demeanor or even what they’d look like behind bars.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Spirit_Election-2016_Hillary01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Hillary Clinton
Spirit_Election-2016_Hillary02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Hillary Clinton
Spirit_Election-2016_Trump01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Donald Trump
Spirit_Election-2016_Trump02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Donald Trump
Spirit_Assassin's-Creed01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Assassin's Creed
Spirit_Assassin's-Creed02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Assassin's Creed
Spirit_Gaming_Fallout01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Fallout
Spirit_Gaming_Fallout02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Fallout
Spirit_Gaming_FNAF01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Five Nights at Freddy's
Spirit_Gaming_FNAF02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Five Nights at Freddy's
Spirit_Gaming_FNAF03 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Freddy Fazbear, Five Nights at Freddy's

Gaming

Level-up with the phenomenon that took the world by storm this year: Pokémon. Other fan-favorite gamer costumes for 2016 include Fallout, Assassin’s Creed and Five Nights at Freddy’s.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Anime

This Japanese cultural icon has crossed the Pacific! Hone battle skills and dress the part of a Dragon Ball Z warrior, an Attack On Titan cadet or a Naruto ninja in anime-inspired costumes.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Spirit_Anime_DBZ01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Naruto, Dragon Ball Z
Spirit_Anime_DBZ02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Goku, Dragon Ball Z
Spirit_Anime_Titan01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Eren Jaeger, Attack on Titan
Spirit_Anime_Titan02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Mikasa Ackerman, Attack on Titan
Spirit_Crayola01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Crayola
Spirit_Crayola02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Crayola

Crayola

Color outside the lines with new Crayola costumes. Collaborate with friends to bring a rainbow of Crayola crayons to life. An easy last-minute costume for shoppers of every age, and perfect for teachers celebrating Halloween and creativity in the classroom.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Trending Tykes

Let the little ones’ imaginations soar as they transform into today’s most-loved cartoon friends, including official styles you won’t find anywhere else from PJ Masks, Shimmer and Shine, Paw Patrol and Blaze and the Monster Machines.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Spirit_Trending-Tykes_Paw-Patrol01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Rocky, Paw Patrol
Spirit_Trending-Tykes_Paw-Patrol02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Chase, Paw Patrol
Spirit_Trending-Tykes_PJ-Masks01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Romeo, PJ Masks
Spirit_Trending-Tykes_PJ-Masks02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Owlette, PJ Masks
Spirit_Trending-Tykes_Shimmer&Shine01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Shimmer and Shine
Spirit_Trending-Tykes_Shimmer&Shine02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Shimmer and Shine
Spirit_Trending-Tykes_Blaze / Image: Spirit Halloween
Blaze and the Monster Machines
Spirit_Pop-Culture_AHS03 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Countess, American Horror Story
Spirit_Pop-Culture_AHS02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Nun, American Horror Story
Spirit_Pop-Culture_AHS01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Twisty the Clown, American Horror Story
Spirit_Pop-Culture_Prince / Image: Spirit Halloween
Purple Prince Suit
Spirit_Pop-Culture_Labyrinth / Image: Spirit Halloween
The Goblin King, Labyrinth

Pop Culture

Go viral with looks from the most talked about topics of the year from FX’s smash hit “American Horror Story” to musical legends Prince and David Bowie.
Images: Spirit Halloween

#TBT

Throw it back to iconic characters of Halloweens past for a #trendingcostume. From horror classics to beloved characters Cat in the Hat, Thing 1 & 2 and TMNT, these costumes are a guaranteed high five.
Images: Spirit Halloween

Spirit_#TBT_Seuss01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
The Cat in The Hat
Spirit_#TBT_Seuss02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Thing 1
Spirit_#TBT_Seuss03 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Thing 2
Spirit_#TBT_TMNT01 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Spirit_#TBT_TMNT02 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Spirit_#TBT_TMNT03 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Spirit_#TBT_TMNT04 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Spirit_#TBT_TMNT05 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Spirit_#TBT_TMNT06 / Image: Spirit Halloween
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Spirit_DIY_Glasses / Image: Spirit Halloween
Glasses
Spirit_DIY_Wigs / Image: Spirit Halloween
Wigs
Spirit_DIY_Eyelashes / Image: Spirit Halloween
Eyelashes
Spirit DIY Makeup / Image: Spirit Halloween
Makeup
Spirit_DIY_Hats / Image: Spirit Halloween
Hats

DIY

Express individuality with a large selection of basics and beyond in every color to elevate a do-it-yourself look. Take a Spirit Halloween costume over the top with key accessories that strut your style, such as colorful wigs, bright eyelashes, bold makeup, statement-making suspenders, masks or hats of all shapes and sizes.
Images: Spirit Halloween

The Heart of Spirit Halloween

At the heart of Spirit Halloween is Spirit of Children (spiritofchildren.com), a program which focuses on making hospitals less scary for kids and their families. Since its inception in 2006, Spirit of Children has raised over $29 million for the Child Life department at hospitals across the country. Donations to Spirit of Children stay within local communities, with 100% of funds going toward a child’s life. For the 2016 Halloween season, Spirit of Children will be supporting 139 hospitals across the country, with a goal to raise $7.8 million. Spirit encourages customers to help make a difference in a child's life this Halloween season by donating at their local Spirit Halloween or spreading awareness via Facebook and Instagram by using #SpiritofChildren in their photos.

How to Find Spirit Halloween

  • Online and search for one near you: SpiritHalloween.com
  • Facebook: For discounts and the inside scoop on all things Halloween, "Like" us if you dare on Facebook Facebook.com/SpiritHalloween
  • Instagram: @SpiritHalloween
  • Twitter: @SpiritHalloween
  • Pinterest: Pinterest.com/SpiritHalloween
  • YouTube: youtube.com/SpiritHalloween
  • Upload your spooky Spirit Halloween shopping experience by tagging photos with #SpiritHalloween on your social media channels.
  • BOOK REVIEW: The Dartmoor Horror (2014)

    By Woofer McWooferson

    Cover art by Bob Berry of Bob Berry Illustrations.

    Joe DeSantisThe Dartmoor Horror came to my attention via an email from the author. Being a fan of Sherlock Holmes, I eagerly accepted his request for a review. Unfortunately, I was not able to read it immediately, but when I did get the opportunity, I was not disappointed. The Dartmoor Horror is clearly a labor of love that was carefully constructed to fit the Holmes canon as well as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s personal writing style.

    The Dartmoor Horror grew from DeSantis’ dissatisfaction with the ending of The Hound of the Baskervilles and his desire to right what he saw as a minor but important missed opportunity on Doyle’s part. Doyle himself was a strong spiritualist having famously supported the reality of the Cottingley Fairies, but his creation, Sherlock Holmes, was the exact opposite – a man of science and reason with no use for the fantastic. As DeSantis points out in his Author’s Note, The Hound of the Baskervilles is as close to a supernatural horror crime mystery as Doyle ever wrote and, as such, was ripe for showing Holmes’ flexibility in the face of evidence that counters his. Perhaps it is because The Hound of the Baskervilles was Doyle’s third Holmes novel or perhaps it is because Doyle doubted his own belief in the supernatural. Either way, DeSantis didn’t shy from it and this is where The Dartmoor Horror picks up.

    In The Dartmoor Horror, we are presented with the return of the Hell hound as well as information that strongly hints that it is a supernatural creature. Through the course of the novel, we are further introduced to another undeniably paranormal element, but DeSantis never wavers in his faithfulness to the great detective. On the contrary, DeSantis maintains the nomenclature and dialect of the period while simultaneously breathing new life into a story that has been part of English literature for over 100 years.

    DeSantis eases us into the story – aware that there might be a bit of hostility on the reader’s part since he is, to an extent, messing with what has been voted as the best Sherlock Holmes story Doyle ever wrote:

    The carriage ambled slowly and deliberately over the winding country road, leaving a long, low cloud of dust behind as it made its way into the outskirts of the town. The driver, briefly energized by the appearance of the scattered, outlying cottages gave his whip a short snap onto the rump of the solitary old horse pulling its burden along.

    The Dartmoor Horror was a delight to read. DeSantis’ prose, while faithful to Victorian norms, compels the reader forward, eager to discover how the great detective will piece it all together. Since DeSantis is working with established characters (for the most part), there is less character development than characterization, but this is to be expected. We know these people from the Doyle story, and they behave in exactly the way we anticipate they will even while we’re unable to perfectly predict it. Indeed, while DeSantis peppers the text with clues – both to the mystery itself as well as to where Holmes’ deductions lead him, exactly how the ending plays out is pleasantly unexpected.

    Final verdict: 7.5/10. A great addition to any Doyle or Holmes fan’s library.

    You can purchase The Dartmoor Horror here. Find out what else Joe DeSantis has written here.

    Cover art by Bob Berry of Bob Berry Illustrations.

    HoTS LIVE Welcomes BJ McDonnell

     

     

    This week the House of Tortured Souls crew of Lord Dixie, aka Allen, and John Roisland bring you another action packed episode. Our special guest is director and cinematographer BJ McDonnell. BJ is perhaps best know as the director of the horror film Hatchet 3, where he took over the reins from series creator Adam Green. BJ is also the director of a violent trilogy of videos for metal band Slayer, as well as being involved in some of the biggest Hollywood movies ever. Can you say Antman and Avengers 2, children?

    We will talk to BJ about the Slayer videos, Hatchet 3, and touch a little on the pros and cons of practical effects versus CGI.

    John and Dixie will also bring you up to date on recent HotS activity. This includes the new Blair Witch movie and of course Rob Zombie’s 31, which was just released on VoD. Love him, hate him, or wish you were married to his wife, he is Rob Zombie and he makes his movies bloody. Plus find out if Lew Temple says, “Tits on a boar hog”. Pssst, he totally does.

    Want to work for House of Tortured Souls? John will tell you how! Only on this episode of House of Tortured Souls LIVE. Which is, of course, pre-recorded. Ladies and gents, there’s only one way, yes one way to make sure the Creepy Clowns don’t get you, and that is by listening to House of Tortured Souls LIVE. That’s HoTS Live to all the cool kiddies. You got it – HoTS is cool!

     

    As always we have to thank the awesome Rocky Grey for the opening music, and of course thanks to BJ McDonnell for coming on and putting up with us. Until next time, peace out! And somebody bring me a Pepsi!

    And Keep It Evil!!

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 18 – 25 SEPTEMBER 2016

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
    18 – 25 SEPTEMBER 2016

    By The Crimson Executioner
    &
    Woofer McWooferson

    The Vortexx Hosts_02
    Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!

    Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS! We've got another great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure including THREE Indie movies making their Vortexx debut and a very special Vortexx Double Feature coming up on Saturday. Our hosts this week are Misty Brew, Freezer Mortis, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Remo D. & friends, Mr. Lobo, Dave Binkley & special guest Lil' John, Halloween Jack & Halloween Jacqueline, Mr. Maniacal, and Arachna & Deadly. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

    vortexx-dark-garden-20160918_misty-brew

    Sunday (9/18) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    DARK GARDEN (2004)

    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of DARK GARDEN (2004), a cool indie film by Patrick Bond. It's a psychological thriller about a downtrodden man named Warren (Kyle Van Pool), who finds himself having to choose between good and evil when he moves into a new house and befriends Harry (J.W. McCrary), who soon recruits Warren to assist him in his wicked ways. In addition to the movie, Misty will be entertaining us with a special interview with Mr. McCrary and previews of Misty's Coming Attractions.

    vortexx-crimes-at-the-dark-house-20160919_formerly-crappics

    Monday (9/19) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    FORMERLY CRAPPICS
    with Freezer Mortis
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    CRIMES AT THE DARK HOUSE (1940)

    FORMERLY CRAPPICS with Freezer Mortis presents The Vortexx premiere of CRIMES AT THE DARK HOUSE (1940). Veteran B-movie villain Tod Slaughter stars as a maniac who murders the wealthy Sir Percival Glyde in the gold fields of Australia, assumes his identity in order to inherit his estate in England, and then mercilessly kills everyone who might get in the way of his nefarious plan. It's loosely (ever so loosely) based on novel The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins. Freezer will be spicing up the mix with another episode of 13 Demon Street and a special guest appearance by The Angry Scandanavian Chef Assistant.

    vortexx-first-spaceship-on-venus-20160920_bordello

    Tuesday (9/20) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BORDELLO OF HORROR
    presents
    FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS (1960)

    Strap yourself in, space cadets, and take a journey with us to the amazing year 1985 as BORDELLO OF HORROR presents FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS (1960). Eight astronauts are sent to Venus to discover the origin of a metal artifact unearthed by some archaeologists. On the way over, they find out that the artifact contains a message outlining a sinister plan to destroy the Earth. Turns out that those wacky Venusians destroyed themselves before they could destroy Earth. But their radiation-bombardment machine is still active, and after one of the astronauts accidentally triggers it, a frantic effort to disarm it ensues. In addition to the movie, Freakshow will be entertaining us with special musical guests The Blacker Brothers Band and more!

    vortexx-magic-of-stell-20160921_manor-of-mayhem

    Wednesday (9/21) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    MAGIC OF STELL (1988)

    REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM presents The Vortexx premiere of MAGIC OF STELL (1988) aka Magic of Spell. Tonight's movie is a Taiwanese kung fu-fantasy -- full of eye-popping magical effects and feats of strength and sorcery -- that must be seen in order to be believed. Loosely based on the Japanese folk tale Momotaro, The Peach Boy, it stars Chinese actress Hsiao-Lao Lin as The Peach Boy -- born, so the story goes, from a large magic peach found in a river. The lad lives peachfully in the countryside with his old grandmother (played in gray wig and makeup, by one-time Shaw Bros. martial-arts star Cheng Pei Pei) until one day a band of demons raids the nearby village, abducts all the children, and attacks Peachy's home. The Peachmeister survives the attack and, accompanied by Dog Girl, Chicken Girl, Monkey Boy, and a walking talking ginseng plant, he sets out for the demons' castle to exact revenge on the ancient sorcerer who ordered the raid. The dialog is in Mandarin Chinese with ridiculous English subtitles. The English title of the subtitled release is supposed to be Magic of Spell. However, it’s mis-SPELLed Magic of Stell in the on-screen title, so that’s what Remo calls it.

    vortexx-mark-of-the-damned-20160922_cinema-insomnia

    Thursday (9/22) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    MARK OF THE DAMNED (2006)

    We're celebrating Halloween early tonight as CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents the second part of a two-part Halloween Special from 2009. Mr. Lobo will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of Eric Miller's MARK OF THE DAMNED (2006). Miller's homegrown Midnight Movie masterpiece was made as an homage to the classic Santo movies, such as Santo vs the Vampire Women (1962). It's set in a place called The Amplified World, and it's filled with vampires, ghouls, robots, rocket men, masked heroes, and over-the-top villains like The Vampire Queen. In addition to the movie, Mr. Lobo will be spicing up the mix with off-beat humor, vintage TV ads, drive-in movie trailers, retro craziness, and informative interviews on location in Richmond, Virginia, detailing the making of the movie.

    vortexx-terror-by-night-20160923_weirdness

    Friday (9/23) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    THE WEIRDNESS REALLY BAD MOVIE
    presents
    TERROR BY NIGHT (1946)

    THE WEIRDNESS REALLY BAD MOVIE with Dave Binkley and Kathleen Walder presents TERROR BY NIGHT (1946) with Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. The game is afoot, as master detective Sherlock Holmes and his trusty sidekick, Dr. Watson, hop the train from London to Edinburgh and try to find out which of the passengers stole the fabled Star of Rhodesia diamond and murdered the son of its owner. Dave's special guest tonight is horror host legend Lil' John Rinaldi so tonight's episode, appropriately enough, was shot at Rinaldi Jewelry, in Solon, Ohio.

    vortexx-goodbye-20160924_haunted-theater-mr-maniacal

    Saturday (9/24) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    HALLOWEEN JACK AND MR. MANIACAL
    BID FAREWELL TO
    LIVESTREAM!

    Join us tonight as we welcome Halloween Jack, Halloween Jacqueline, and Mr. Maniacal to The Vortexx for a FAREWELL TO LIVESTREAM DOUBLE FEATURE! As many of you know, Jack and Mr. Maniacal will be leaving the streaming world behind as they launch the Eerie Late Night Horror Channel on October 1. Tonight we're celebrating the launch with two great shows courtesy of our three hosts. First up THE HAUNTED THEATRE with Halloween Jack and and his co-hostess Halloween Jacqueline will be presenting the cult classic FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1958) starring Donald Murphy as the insane Dr. Oliver Frank (short for Frankenstein, of course), Sandra Knight as The Bucktooth Ugly Woman, and Harry Wilson as The Lipstick Monster. Then stick around for more insanity as MR. MANIACAL'S INSANITY presents THE SADIST (1963) starring Arch Hall, Jr. in what is undoubtedly the best – and scariest – movie role of his career.

    vortexx-house-on-haunted-hill-20160925_beware-theater

    Sunday (9/25) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BEWARE THEATER
    presents
    William Castle's HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959)

    BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another gem from the Golden Age of Black & White as they host William Castle's HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959). Vincent Price gives a stellar performance as the suavely malevolent host of a "haunted house party" who offers his guests $10,000 if they can survive a night in the murderous mansion. Carol Ohmart co-stars as Vinnie's scheming wife, and Elisha Cook, Jr. plays the timid owner of the house.

    ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

    Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

    The Vortexx - Swirling Storm"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

    The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

    If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
    Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

    The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

    Available in three convenient sizes!
    Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

    The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

    If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
    Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

    The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

    The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
    Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

    The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

    Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

    Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

    The Official Food of The Vortexx!
    Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

    The Vortexx - Chia Host

    BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

    Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

    Two delicious pickle treats!

    Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

    The Vortexx - Egg Bleach
    Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

    "Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

    Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

    sluggo-in-a-vortexx

    SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

    MOVIE REVIEW: Blair Witch (2016)

    The Blair Witch Is Back

    By Dixielord

    In 1999, movie making changed forever. A new subgenre of horror was born, the found footage shay cam film. It ushered in a wave of jiggly screens, bouncing videos and migraine headaches. It was a hit movie, and filmed in a way that way too many people believed it was real. It was The Blair Witch Project. Now, fifteen years later, a sequel is being made.

    Okay, it's a second sequel if you count Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, which didn’t follow the story line of the first film and may or may not be considered canon depending on which day of the week you ask the creators. But now we have a true sequel, following the storyline of the first film.

    The plot of Blair Witch (2016) concerns the brother of Heather (Heather Donahue) from the original film. After scouring the Internet, he finally finds what he believes is evidence to the location of his missing sister.. Gathering a group of friends and video equipment, they trek into the woods in search of Heather. Instead of his sister they find, just like in 1999, the Blair Witch.

    Sadly, however, the 2016 version doesn't have much of the magic of the original. Found footage and shaky cam is no longer a novel device but a pain in the ass. Plus, for a POV movie, there are times when you wonder just where the fuck the footage is coming from; there are some shots that are just not possible from one of their headsets. But that's a small nit picky point. I do think the film would have been better to just forget the shaky cam and go with a traditional steady-cam film. Too many times the quick spins were near nausea-inducing, and the dark scenes did little to build suspense.

    Which is my biggest qualm with the film. For a movie like this to work, there has to be a build up of tension. The first film, at least for me, managed to build a sense of fear as Heather, Josh, and Mike wandered lost in the woods. When Josh disappeared, we had no clue what happened; in the new film, even with the black outs, we see way too much. We aren't left to wonder if Josh was taken by the witch? Did he just get lost?Kill himself? Here we see the victims dragged away. It's good for a quick jump, but nothing else.

    There was also the decision to show the witch. And of course we have to make her creepy and inhuman looking so we can use the CGI budget. So they add to the back story, and now the witch has been hung from a rack so we have a witch that could give Slenderman a boner. To their credit, the witch does look creepy and inhuman and she's limited to a few quick views. So while it's somewhat effective the addition just seems cheap and unnecessary.

    A haunting scene from Blair Witch
    One of the more haunting scenes in Blair Witch
    Photo credit Lionsgate films. Fair use doctrine.

    But I wanted to try and review this on its own merits and haven't seen the original since it's first release. So I'm going to try and limit it to what I liked and disliked in this film. The main thing that killed my enjoyment was the pacing. The beginning was just too ungodly slow. Slow isn't always bad. If you are building tension or developing characters, slow can be good. But an hour in I still didn’t feel like I knew anything about these characters. Nothing beyond the stereotypical horror movie tropes anyway. Then once things become strange, they try to build that tension too fast - people disappearing, people reappearing, people getting lost - all in compressed time. Add to it headache inducing camera work and shifting perspectives that went on too long before the pay off.

    The Blair Witch is back
    The Blair Witch is back!
    Photo credit Lionsgate films. Fair use doctrine.

    There was also way too much time at the beginning showing the cast goofing off. There was no real reason for this, it didn’t tell us much about the characters and didn't advance the story, It seemed like nothing more than filler to pad out the length.

    Once you get close to the end, the action, and tension does finally ramp up. The POV camera works to the films advantage during the chase and hunt through the cabin. The confusion and claustrophobia starts to make the viewer uneasy (and not just in the tummy), but only the cabin scenes had this effect. The filmmakers tried for a claustrophobia-inducing tunnel scene, but it failed pretty miserably for me. The camera shots, from wherever they came from, made the space look too open. Film is all about illusion and those shots broke the illusion. To see claustrophobia done right check out The Descent or Crawl or Die, where you literally feel suffocated.

    I won’t spoil the ending, but I will say, even though it felt like a cheap rip of the end of the original Blair Witch, it did manage to build up my level of dread. There's also the hint that the entire film was some type of paradoxical time loop. Which doesn't really do anything for the film, but it doesn't really detract from it. It's more of an Easter egg than anything else. So let’s call it a push.

    So my final verdict? The last 20 minutes or so is serviceable and even scary at times. Sadly it takes way too long to get there and very little tension is built up along the way. It copies a few of the more well known scenes from the original, which is good for a nostalgic “ha”. While casual horror fans might enjoy it, most horror fans will be bored to tears before the action starts. As slow and plodding as the original was, it held me. That's not the case here. I definitely don't see Blair Witch (2016) having anything like the cultural impact of the original. And they didn't even try to convince us it really happened.

    The Blair Witch was directed by Adam Wingard (You're Next, The Guest) and stars Callie Hernandez (From Dusk til Dawn:The Series) and James Allen McCune (The Walking Dead). I really wanted to like it but unfortunately I just found it too slow, and the pay off, while not horrible, isn't worth the wait.

    4/10 stars

    NEW FEATURE! CROWDFUNDING PICK: Baphomet

    By Dixielord

    Crowdsourcing is becoming a more and more popular way to finance films although it was once almost exclusively the territory of low budget and Indie films. Now, however, directors from the likes of Spike Lee to Rob Zombie have used the public to fund the budgets of their films. While there has been some outcry among fans concerning established filmmakers using this avenue, it, nonetheless, remains a lucrative way of funding a film. In addition to freeing filmmakers of studio restrictions, crowdfunding enables them to connect with the fans via special offers for different levels of donations.

    With crowdfunding here to stay, House of Tortured Souls has decided to do a “Best of Crowdsourcing” series. It will have an irregular schedule to start, but we hope to grow into a monthly article. HoTS writers will scour the popular sourcing sites, Kickstarter and Indiegogo (and any others that may exist or come to exist), and find horror projects that look interesting to report back on for our followers. We also welcome suggestions from our followers. Just comment on this article as well as the upcoming articles and let us know what hidden gems you’ve found.

    I'm going to kickstart this (Heh, heh, heh) with a little movie I found late one recent Friday night. The name of the film is Baphomet, and it drew me in right away. The story concept kept me there. It's still early in the crowdsourcing for Baphomet, so it’s still anybody’s guess on how it will come out. But I'm really hoping this one is successful. After all, I already put my money where my mouth is.

    Baphomet the movie
    Promotional poster for Baphomet
    Art courtesy of Stu Schuckman

    According to the Kickstarter page, Baphomet is

    THE STORY OF HANNA, a beautiful and cold-blooded murderer, a born sociopath with no concern for societal expectations. While living as a drifter on the highways of the east coast, she meets a sensitive young musician and begins a relationship that will blur the line between victim and accomplice.

    Director Alex Sinesi describes it as a Southern Gothic road movie, and he means Gothic in the traditional way, not the Hot Topic way.

    The crucial lead role of Hanna will be played by Hannah Elizabeth Smith, an award winning film and theater actress. Apparently Hannah isn't afraid to get bloody with roles like Carrie (Carrie the Musical), and Lady MacBeth in her past. If that ain’t enough, just check out her photo on Kickstarter.

    Hannah Elizabeth Smith as Carrie White, in Carrie the Musical from the Baphomet Kickstarter page
    Hannah Elizabeth Smith as Carrie White, in Carrie the Musical

    Along with Smith, Baphomet will star Nicholas Reed and Christopher Marino. All three members of the cast come from East Coast theater backgrounds.

    There's a lot that drew me to Baphomet. While the idea of a female serial killer might not be new, it's far from common, and it's relatively fresh ground. Plus, the idea of a Gothic road movie is appealing. I grew up in the South, on Faulkner, and there was always a darkness in his stories. They always made me feel uncomfortable. I think Baphomet may strike that same chord in me, and that makes me excited.

    Baphomet- Never Behave again courtesy Kickstarter
    Baphomet- Never Behave Again
    Courtesy Kickstarter

    The director promises that it will be bloody, but it wont be cheap gore. Sinesi promises that we will see the effect the killing has, even on the killer. I'm trusting he will have the skill to follow through on those promises, and make Baphomet more than a cheap horror film. So give it a look, and if you agree that this is an interesting project consider giving them a hand. There's more information to be found on the movie's Facebook page or on the Kickstarter page If it looks interesting, consider chipping in and helping what could be a great Indie horror film get made. House of Tortured Souls, and I, personally, will be keeping our eye on Baphomet and updating everyone on any major happenings.

    COMING SOON: Young Frankenstein on the big screen!

    By Dixielord

    In 1974 Young Frankenstein had horror fans singing “Putting on the Ritz”, and now Fathom Events is putting it back on the big screen. Yep for one, and only one special night, the Mel Brooks comedy classic will be back in theaters. On October 5th, 2016, for one night only Young Frankenstein will be back in theaters. The movie will screen on 500 screens nation wide, and there will be a live presentation before the film with director Mel Brooks.

    Young Frankenstein credit Young Frankenstein
    Teri Garr, Gene Wilder, and Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein (1974)
    TM and Copyright © 20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved. Courtesy: Everett Collection.

    It's perfectly timed for fans of the film with Halloween just around the corner. Sadly Gene Wilder, star of Young Frankenstein and other Brooks classics, recently passed away from Alzheimer’s. Fans might be concerned about the timing, but director Brooks assured fans that this was not a move to cash in on Wilder's death. In fact, this had apparently been planned for some time before the star’s death, so there is no fear of disrespecting the memory of Wilder. Go out, enjoy it, and celebrate his life.

    Now for you people who have never heard of Young Frankenstein, and I accept the possibility there might be some people who haven't, here's the down low. Young Frankenstein is a comedy based on Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s classic Frankenstein story. But calling it a comedy seems such an understatement. It's one of the funniest films by one of America’s funniest directors. Now full disclosure: Blazing Saddles (which also stars Wilder) is my favorite Mel Brooks film. Young Frankenstein is a close second.

    Peter Boyle and Gene Hackman in Young Frankenstein Credit Young Frankenstein
    Peter Boyle and Gene Hackman in Young Frankenstein (1974)
    TM and Copyright © 20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved. Courtesy: Everett Collection.

    Ready for a roll in ze hay

    The plot involves the infamous Dr. Frankenstein's heir, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, returning to his father's castle. There, in classic horror movie style, he discovers the mad doctor's journals At first reluctant, he eventually falls to the hubris that doomed Dr. Frankenstein and creates his own monster. Cue the pissed off villagers! Lust, mayhem, and even a song and dance soon ensue, along with much laughter from the audience.

    YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, Teri Garr, 1974. TM and Copyright © 20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved. Courtesy: Everett Collection.
    Terri Garr in Young Frankenstein (1974)
    TM and Copyright © 20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved. Courtesy: Everett Collection.

    What is it that makes Young Frankenstein so popular with horror fans? It's not so much a horror comedy, in my opinion, as a comedic spoof. Yet as hilarious as it is, as irreverent as it is, it never seems disrespectful toward the source material. It's not like it is making fun of the horror genre or it's fans. It's like we're all sitting around, laughing together. With all it's absurdities, the characters are loveable, flawed, and sympathetic - just like the characters in the original Universal classic.

    Besides the comedic genius of Gene Wilder, the Young Frankenstein cast includes Teri Garr, Madelyn Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Marty Feldman, Gene Hackman, and Peter Boyle as the Creature. If you haven't seen Young Frankenstein, what are you waiting for? October 5th, that's what. Young Frankenstein is available now on DVD, and the usual outlets, but if you have waited this long why not experience it on the big screen? Check the Fathom Events website to see if it's playing near you. I'll be there, and I hope to see you there too!

    HISTORY OF HORROR: SEPTEMBER

    By Woofer McWooferson

    Join House of Tortured Souls as we celebrate significant dates in the history of horror in September. Click on thumbnails for full images.

    September 1 - 7

    09/01/1939 – The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939) released
    theatrically
    Poster The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939) Copyright RKO Radio Pictures
    Poster Universal Pictures
    09/02/1923 – The Hunchback of Notre Dame released
    theatrically
    09/02/1978 – Dawn of the Dead released
    theatrically
    Fair use doctrine.
    Image credit erinc salor
    09/05/1942 – Werner Herzog (director of Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht) born
    09/06/1879 – Max Schreck (actor who portrayed Count Orlok in Nosferatu) born
    Public domain
    Image Universal Pictures
    09/06/1925 – The Phantom of the Opera (1925) released theatrically
    09/07/1940 – Dario Argento (director, producer, and screenwriter of Suspira and other horror films) born
    Photo by Ian Gavan - © 2012 Getty Images - Image courtesy gettyimages.com
    Photo by Bobby Bank - © 2010 Bobby Bank - Image courtesy gettyimages.com
    09/07/1954 – Doug Bradley (best known as Pinhead in the Hellraiser film series) born
    09/07/2004 – Silent Hill 4: The Room released on the PlayStation, Xbox, and PC in North America
    Image Konami

    September 8 - 14

    Fair use doctrine.
    09/08/1990 – Bride of Re-Animator released theatrically
    09/09/1954 – Jeffrey Combs (actor in many horror films) born
    © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/09/1997 – Cube released theatrically
    09/09/2004 – Resident Evil Outbreak File #2 released for the PlayStation 2 in Japan
    Image Capcom
    Copyright 2005 Sony Pictures
    09/09/2005 – The Exorcism of Emily Rose released theatrically
    09/10/1993 – The X-Files premieres on television
    Fair use doctrine.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/10/2004 – Resident Evil: Apocalypse released theatrically
    09/11/1987 – Hellraiser released theatrically
    Fair use doctrine.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/11/1992 – Candyman released theatrically
    09/12/1958 – The Blob (1958) released theatrically
    Fair use doctrine.
    Photo by Apger - © MPTV - Image courtesy mptvimages.com.
    09/12/1992 – Anthony Perkins (actor who portrayed Norman Bates in the Psycho films) dies (b. 1932)
    09/13/1913 – Paul Wegener (director of The Golem: How He Came Into the World) dies (b. 1874)
    Photo by A7A08A39_023.jpg - © Archives du 7e Art/Deutsche Bioscop - Image courtesy photo12.com.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/13/1991 – Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare released theatrically
    09/13/2005 – Supernatural premieres on television
    Fair use doctrine.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/14/1960 – The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) released theatrically

    September 15 - 21

    09/15/1974 – The Ghost Galleon released theatrically
    © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.
    09/16/1963 – The Outer Limits premiered on television
    09/16/2002 – Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance released on the Game Boy Advance in the US
    Box art. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/16/2005 – Cry_Wolf released theatrically
    09/17/2004 – Silent Hill 4: The Room released on the PlayStation, Xbox, and PC in Europe
    Image: Konami.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/17/2004 – Resident Evil Outbreak released on the PlayStation 2 in Europe
    09/18/1963 – The Haunting (1963) released theatrically
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/18/1998 – The Dentist 2: Brace Yourself released theatrically
    09/20/1940 – The Mummy's Hand released theatrically
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/20/1975 – Asia Argento (actress in many horror films, daughter of Dario Argento and Daria Nicolodi) born
    09/21/1947 – Stephen King born
    Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/21/1984 – The Company of Wolves released theatrically in the UK

    September 22 - 28

    09/22/1986 – Castlevania released for the Nintendo Entertainment System
    Box art. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/22/1995 – Se7en released theatrically
    09/22/1999 – Resident Evil 3: Nemesis released for the PlayStation in Japan
    Box art. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/23/1988 – Dead Ringers released theatrically
    09/24/2001 – Silent Hill 2 released on the PlayStation, Xbox, and PC in the US
    Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/24/2002 – Vampires: Los Muertos released on video in the US
    09/24/2004 – Shaun of the Dead released theatrically in the US
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/25/1959 – The Mummy (1959) released theatrically
    09/25/1994 – Alone in the Dark 2 released on PC
    Box art. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/25/1998 – Urban Legend released theatrically
    09/26/1962 – Carnival of Souls released theatrically
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/26/1970 – Sheri Moon (actress in House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Toolbox Murders) born
    09/27/1985 – The New Twilight Zone premiered on television
    Fair use doctrine.
    Box art. Fair use doctrine.
    09/27/2001 – Silent Hill 2 released on the PlayStation, Xbox, and PC in Japan
    09/28/1987 – Friday the 13th: The Series premiered on television
    Title card. Fair use doctrine.
    Fair use doctrine.
    09/28/2007 – Moonlight premiered on television
    09/29/1955 – The Night of the Hunter released theatrically
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/29/1995 – Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers released theatrically

    September 30

    09/30/1984 – Tales from the Darkside premiered on television
    Title card. Fair use doctrine.
    Movie poster. Fair use doctrine.
    09/30/1988 – Elvira, Mistress of the Dark released theatrically
    09/30/2005 – Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow released on the Nintendo DS in the European Union
    Box art. Fair use doctrine.

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 11 – 18 SEPTEMBER 2016

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
    11 – 18 SEPTEMBER 2016

    By The Crimson Executioner
    &
    Woofer McWooferson

    The Vortexx Hosts_02
    Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!

    Welcome to The Vortexx where it's been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS! We've got another great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies for your viewing and chatting pleasure including THREE indie movies marking their Vortexx debut along with several returning favorites starring Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, and Spider-Gary. Our hosts this week are Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Vincent Grimmly, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Dr. Lady & the Usual Suspects, Bobby Gammonster & Boris the Buzzard with guest host Vincent Grimmly, Mr. Lobo, Lord Blood-Rah, and Misty Brew. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

    Vortexx-Bride of the Monster-20160911_Beware Theater

    Sunday (9/11) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BEWARE THEATER
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    Ed Wood's BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955)

    BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another gem from the Golden Age of Black-and-White -- Ed Wood's BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955). In his last starring role, an emaciated Bela Lugosi plays an aging mad scientist with a plan to create a race of supermen with the help of Tor Johnson. Bela shows off his acting chops in his memorable "Home, I Have No Home" soliloquy, and the final scene where he wrestles with a rubber octopus must be seen in order to be believed.

    vortexx-beast-of-yucca-flats-20160912_night-chills

    Monday (9/12) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE
    presents
    THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961)

    Join us tonight as NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE with Vincent Grimmly returns to The Vortexx for its second appearance. Vincent and his pet raven Phydeaux will be hosting Coleman (Red Zone Cuba) Francis's masterpiece THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961). Tor Johnson gets to show his acting range, playing a defecting Russian rocket scientist named Joseph Javorsky. Pursued by KGB agents, Javorsky stumbles onto a nuclear testing site in the Nevada wastelands, gets wasted, and becomes . . . you guessed it . . . Tor Johnson! Director Francis, who also narrates, provides plenty of unintended laughs with lines such as "once a brilliant scientist, now just fatty grease for the wheels of progress." Francis, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Curly of The 3 Stooges, also appears briefly as a gas station attendant and as a man buying a newspaper. We're hoping that Vincent's sidekick Phydeaux will be more talkative tonight than he was in last week's episode.

    vortexx-monstroid-20160913_bordello

    Tuesday (9/13) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BORDELLO OF HORROR
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    MONSTROID: IT CAME FROM THE LAKE (1980)

    BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Marijohuana presents The Vortexx premiere of MONSTROID: IT CAME FROM THE LAKE (1980). This low-budget indie, supposedly based on a true story, is about a rural Colombian village that is attacked by a sea serpent who's been aroused by the industrial pollution of a nearby lake. For an indie it's got a surprising number of "name" actors, including John Carradine playing a local priest who believes the monster is sent by God to punish sinners. Jim Mitchum (the spitting image of his more famous dad), Philip Carey (who played Texas tycoon Asa Buchanan for almost three decades on the popular soap opera One Life to Live), and veteran B-movie actor Anthony Eisley round out the cast. Carradine, whose contempt for this movie can be seen on his scowling face, reportedly said, "This is the worst piece of s--t I've ever worked on and I've worked on a lot of pieces of s--t." In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests The Malcolmexicans, a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut, and more!

    vortexx-suspira-20160914_dr-lady

    Wednesday (9/14) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW
    presents
    Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA (1976)

    THE LATE DR. LADY SHOW with Dr David Lady and the Usual Suspects presents Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA (1976). A young girl (Jessica Harper) arrives at a fancy ballet academy run by a coven of witches in this stylish Italian thriller. Joan Bennett and Alida Valli -- both major stars in their heyday -- co-star as the school's directress Madame Blanc and her Nazified assistant Miss Tanner. Cult actor Udo Kier, best known for his lead roles in Andy Warhol's Frankenstein and Andy Warhol's Dracula, appears in a small supporting role. The shocks are plentiful, including a room full of barbed wire and maggots falling from the ceiling. And we guarantee, the sound track by Goblin is the loudest you'll ever hear.

    vortexx-horrors-of-spider-island-20160915_monster-movie-night

    Thursday (9/15) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT
    presents
    HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND (1962)

    MONSTER MOVIE NIGHT with Bobby Gammonster, Boris The Buzzard, and special guest host Vincent Grimmly presents a Vortexx favorite -- HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND (1962). It's about a troupe of beautiful dancers who find themselves stranded on a deserted island with their square-shouldered manager Gary (Alex D'Arcy). Their skinny-dipping routine is disrupted when Gary gets bit by a spider and becomes . . . . Spider-Gary! Oh, the horrors of it all! Vincent appears in tonight's episode, live from Castle Pappdeckel, via Bobby's video scream-o-phone.

    vortexx-mark-of-the-damned-20160916_cinema-insomnia

    Friday (9/16) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    MARK OF THE DAMNED (2006)

    We're celebrating Halloween early tonight as CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO presents the first part of a two-part Halloween Special from 2009. Mr. Lobo will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of Eric Miller's MARK OF THE DAMNED (2006). Miller's homegrown Midnight Movie masterpiece was made as an homage to the classic Santo movies such as Santo vs the Vampire Women (1962). It's set in a place called The Amplified World and it's filled with vampires, ghouls, robots, rocket men, masked heroes, and over-the-top villains like The Vampire Queen. In addition to the movie, Mr. Lobo will be spicing up the mix with off-beat humor, vintage TV ads, drive-in movie trailers, retro craziness, and informative interviews on location in Richmond, Virginia, detailing the making of the movie. In addition, there is a hilarious musical cooking segment with November Fire recording artist Slob Zombie and a taste of his hit single "40 Hour Weekend."

    vortexx-daughter-of-horror-20160917_lord-blood-rah

    Saturday (9/17) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    LORD BLOOD-RAH'S
    NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE

    presents
    DAUGHTER OF HORROR (1957)

    LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE presents DAUGHTER OF HORROR (1957). This "film noir" of a psychotic young woman's nightmarish experiences during one night on skid row was originally released in 1955 as Dementia with no dialogue whatsoever. It was re-released in 1957 with added narration by Johnny Carson's second banana, Ed McMahon. The cast includes Bruno (Fat Dave) VeSota, little person Angelo Rossitto, Jonathan (Seymour Krelborn) Haze, and comedian Shelley Berman. As always there will be plenty of movie trailers and other cool extras along with a Cranial Cavity Search.

    vortexx-dark-garden-20160918_misty-brew

    Sunday (9/18) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    DARK GARDEN (2004)

    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of DARK GARDEN (2004), a cool indie film by Patrick Bond. It's a psychological thriller about a downtrodden man named Warren (Kyle Van Pool), who finds himself having to choose between good and evil when he moves into a new house and befriends Harry (J.W. McCrary), who soon recruits Warren to assist him in his wicked ways. In addition to the movie, Misty will be entertaining us with a special interview with Mr. McCrary and previews of Misty's Coming Attractions.

    ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

    Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

    The Vortexx - heart"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

    The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

    If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
    Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

    The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

    Available in three convenient sizes!
    Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

    The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

    If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
    Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

    The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

    The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
    Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

    The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

    Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

    Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

    The Official Food of The Vortexx!
    Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

    The Vortexx - Chia Host

    BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

    Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

    Two delicious pickle treats!

    Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

    The Vortexx - Egg Bleach
    Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

    "Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

    Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

    The Vortexx - President Sluggo

    SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

    MOVIE REVIEW: Don’t Breathe (2016)

    By Tracie Hill Prichard

    Director: Fede Alvarez; Writers: Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues; Stars: Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette, Daniel Ovatto; Rating: R; Run Time: 88 minutes; Genre: Horror/ Thriller; Country: USA; Language: English; Year: 2016

    After seeing the trailer for Don't Breathe on television, I was very interested and highly anticipated the movie's release. I was fortunate enough to go see it opening night in my area. I took my husband with me, who is not a horror fan but who enjoys a good thriller. Neither of us were disappointed in this film.

    Don't Breathe is about a trio of delinquents and friends, Alex, Rocky, and Money, who try to make a living for themselves by robbing the wealthy homes of the clients of Alex's father's security company and selling off the goods. Rocky's home life is less than ideal, and she dreams of taking her little sister away to California for a better life. Her boyfriend, Money, discovers a target (located in an otherwise abandoned neighborhood) with a large cash sum received from a settlement after his daughter was killed in a car crash. After casing the house, they discover the Army vet who lives there is blind and decide to go after the rumored money stash. What comes next is a suspenseful roller coaster ride. Stephen Lang, as the blind man, keeps you on the edge of your seat.

    Stephen Lang in Don't Breathe Copyright Sony Pictures
    Stephen Lang in
    Don't Breathe

    Copyright Sony Pictures

    Don't Breathe definitely has some twists, turns, and surprises along the way. The cast is small and convincing throughout. There is not an over abundance of dialogue, but it is not needed. The film relies on tension and suspense to keep your interest.

    Don't Breathe Copyright Sony Pictures
    Daniel Zovatto, Jane Levy, and Dylan Minnette in a scene from Don't Breathe
    Copyright Sony Pictures

    Don't Breathe doesn't need gore to get its point across either, so if that's what you're looking for, you might be disappointed. As a horror fan, I really enjoyed the intensity of the film, but did come out considering it more of a thriller than horror. I highly recommend giving this a watch whether you are a fan of the horror genre or not.


    (Sony Pictures image: Stephen Lang)

     

    (Sony Pictures Image:  Daniel Zovatto, Jane Levy, and Dylan Minnette in a scene from Don't Breathe)

    Don't Breathe definitely has some twists, turns, and surprises along the way. The cast is small and convincing throughout. There is not an over abundance of dialogue, but it is not needed. The film relies on tension and suspense to keep your interest. Don't Breathe doesn't need gore to get it's point across either, so if that's what you're looking for you might be disappointed. As a horror fan, I really enjoyed the intensity of the film, but did come out considering it more of a thriller than horror. I highly recommend giving this a watch whether you are a fan of the horror genre or not.

     

    MOVIE REVIEW: Holidays (2016)

    By John Roisland

    Holidays-Torrent-2016-Full-HD-Movie-Download

    Holidays is a 2016 horror film i just checked out. I want to say i liked it, but it’s not one that I think I'd add to my library.

    Holidays is another anthology film set much like the ABCs of Death, in that they gathered up a handful of writers and directors, and instead of them pulling letters out of a hat, a calender was thrown in the mix and each was given a holiday to make a short on.

    Holidays-2016-m

    Holidays tackled include:

    • Valentine's Day (a nerdy swimmer in high school cutting out a team member’s heart to give to their coach)
    • St. Patrick's Day (a woman giving birth to a snake with a pompadour)
    • Easter (a deformed half Easter bunny and half Jesus)
    • Mother's Day
    • Father's Day
    • Halloween
    • Christmas ( Seth Green puts a smile on your face)
    • New Year's Eve

     

    The New Year’s Eve segment, directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer, who brought us Some Kind of Hate in 2015, stole the show.
    Ending the year and the film was New Years Eve

    The big name throwing his hat into the ring is Silent Bob himself, Kevin Smith who brought us Red State in 2011 and Tusk in 2014 and countless non horror films. Smith brings us a rather different event for my personal favorite holiday, Halloween... webcam porn. I'm gonna leave it at that for you to check out, but i will tell you that it IS in Smith style and one other thing, i clinched!

    All writers and directors added their own dark twist and flare on not only the holiday, but added a bit of folklore into some of them as well. Some pieces I obviously enjoyed more than others, as I'm sure you will as well. Some were moved along, some tended to drag, others honestly made me wonder just what the HELL did I just watch!?!

    HOLIDAYSREVFEAT

    I for one am a huge fan of anthologies, maybe because if one sucks, you know its not going to be much more than 10-15 minutes long, or maybe its because my brain can only comprehend for that amount of time. Regardless, i enjoy and welcome them.

    Holidays is worth a watch and is currently on Netflix. Run time is about 1 hour and 45 minutes, and the film actually is not rated. But, no, this is not one for the kiddies!

    I give Holidays a 6/10

     

    Keep It Evil..

    Bill Moseley Joins Crepitus

    By Dixielord

    Crepitus poster photo credit Crepitus
    Crepitus poster
    Photo credit Crepitus

    Well it looks like Sid Haig isn't the only reject that can slap on the clown make up. It looks like his co-star from House of 1000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects, Bill Moseley has joined the cast of Crepitus, as the titular killer clown himself. Crepitus is the latest killer clown movie to surface, following Eli Roth's Clown and the remake of Stephen King's It.

    The plot of Crepitus revolves around 17 year old Elizabeth and her brother Julien. Their mother is an abusive alcoholic. Things go from bad to worse after the family moves into the home of their deceased grandfather. They they learn the dark secrets of their family's history and come face to face with an ancient force, the cannibalistic clown Crepitus.

    Creepitus Indiegogo photo of Bill Moseley, photo credit Creepitus Indiegogo
    Creepitus Indiegogo photo of Bill Moseley
    Photo credit Crepitus

    The Indiegogo page for Crepitus describes him as an ancient demon who subsists by feeding on children. Devouring children allows him to remain immortal, and he dresses as a clown to lure children in. The description sounds very similar to the demon in Clown, although the story looks to be different. Now with the addition of Moseley to the cast, they have some star power. And Bill Moseley is definitely someone who can play a demonic clown.

    The name Crepitus is real word with two different real world meanings, both of which are cleverly played off in the film. In medical terminology, crepitus is the popping and crackling sound made by joints and bones for various reasons. In the crowd sourcing comments, it is mentioned that Crepitus' (the character) bones pop and creak with every movement.

    The other meaning of Crepitus refers to a being, an ancient Roman deity. Crepitus in the film will be a ancient force playing on this meaning if the word. However, this deity doesn't have the same regal standing as Apollo, Venus, or Vulcan. Reportedly, Crepitus was the Roman god of flatulence. That's farts for those not familiar with the terminology. Which could be a totally different explanation for why he pops when he moves... yeah. It's thought Crepitus wasn't actually a being worshiped but was possibly a product of Christian satire. So blame Christianity for the first fart jokes.

    I love Bill, but hopefully he's not passing gas in the film. What the hey, I'll see it anyway. Clowns are creepy, clowns can be terrifying, and it seems they are all over the news right now - from Eli Roth's Clown to It to sightings of creepy clowns around the country. I don't think we have hit the saturation point yet, and this film could ride high on the clown craze.

    Crepitus, directed by Haynze Whitmore, also stars Lance Paul, Raiden Moore, and Caitlin Williams. If you want to support the film, you can do it here. Crepitus is set for a 2017 release.

    BRUTAL REALITY: The Lizzie Borden Case

    The Lizzie Borden Case

    By Bal Hergel

    Lizzie Borden circa 1889. Public domain.
    Lizzie Andrew Borden
    19 July 1860 – 1 June 1927
    Borden house at 92 Second St, Fall River, MA. Public domain.
    Borden house at 92 Second St, Fall River, MA

    One-hundred and twenty-four years ago on August 4, Lizzie Borden’s father, Andrew Jackson Borden, and stepmother, Abby Borden, were found dead in their house in Fall River, Massachusetts. They were both viciously and repeatedly gashed in the head and face with an ax or hatchet. The killing was as macabre as it was sensational. Many believe that this crime may have changed forever the usage of conventional mass media and traditional forensic science. In addition, the trial seems to have popularized the role of expert witnesses.

    Despite the sloppy police job, inconsistencies during the interrogation and suspicious behavior landed Lizzie in jail charged with the double homicide. She was defended by a celebrity attorney and acquitted after a highly publicized trial. Her star lawyer was former Massachusetts governor George D. Robinson who, as governor had appointed the judge presiding over the case, Associate Justice Justin Dewey.

    There have been many hypotheses:

    • That the couple was axed to death by an illegitimate son of Mr. Borden
    • That a disgruntled Portuguese worker of the family did it
    • That one of his many enemies executed them
    • That the murderer was actually Emma, Lizzie’s older sister

    The etcetera gets large and creative; however, it seems that all circumstantial evidence points to Lizzie.

    Lizzie Borden - Father and stepmother. Public domain.It was originally believed that the motive was money, but two other theories have been considered. The first speculates that Lizzie had been sexually abused by her father. The second posits that she killed her father and stepmother because they had discovered and strongly rejected to her sapphic involvement with the maid. Both scenarios could have coexisted.

    Strikingly, Wikipedia refers to an incident that occurred about three months before the alleged parricide. Andrew Borden had used a hatchet to kill the pigeons roosting in the barn to prevent neighborhood children from hunting them. Apparently, Lizzie was appalled by this drastic measure because she had been making a roost for the birds.

    The possible murder weapon AP Photo/Charles Krupa)
    The possible murder weapon
    AP Photo/Charles Krupa

    The encyclopedia.com entry indicates that a hatchet head with a freshly broken handle was found in the basement of the Borden’s residence. It is believed that an expert witness from Harvard University testified that this tool matched the wounds inflicted to the unfortunate couple. However, the blade had no blood. The same source states:

    It seemed possible that Borden, who was menstruating at the time of the murders, could have cleaned it off (and also cleaned her own hands and face) with one of the cloths that women of the time used as sanitary napkins; blood is much easier to remove from metal than from fabric. The cloth she used would then have blended in with those she had already accumulated over the course of her menstrual period when all were thrown in a bucket.

    Doesn’t this quote scream product placement? ARE THERE ANY SPONSORS OUT THERE??? No? Okay!

    I found the slaying of the pigeons and the use of sanitary cloths fascinating symbolically speaking. If we accept the sexual motive theories, could have menstrual blood been poetically used to wash the incestual wounds? Could the blood of the castration of her lesbianism had been used to wash the blood of her castrators? When he hacked the pigeons, Andrew Borden symbolically gelded his daughter. Moreover, if, in fact, he discovered her sexual orientation and roughly scorned her, he manifestly sterilized her sexuality as well.
    Who knows?  This is surely a sad, violent and intriguing crime.

    “Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one.”

    Would we share the same world if we tried so passionately to immortalize acts of kindness?

    Signature is public domain. Vector image created by Scewing.
    Lizzie Borden's signature
    Vector image created by Scewing.

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 04 – 11 SEPTEMBER 2016

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
    04 – 11 SEPTEMBER 2016

    By The Crimson Executioner
    &
    Woofer McWooferson

    The Vortexx Hosts_02
    Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS!

    Welcome to The Vortexx where it's now been ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME FOR SIX YEARS! On Labor Day Weekend 2010 we became the first Livestream channel to broadcast hosted B-movies 24/7, and this week we're celebrating our six-year anniversary with another great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies including FOUR movies and ONE great new host making their Vortexx debut. And be sure to come by on Saturday for our HorrorHound Weekend live show! Our hosts this week are Misty Brew, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Remo D. & friends, Mortimer Van Creep, Dave Binkley & Shannon Steele, Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, and (making his Vortexx debut on Monday) Vincent Grimmly. Check out the schedule for details about all the fine shows airing this week in The Vortexx. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

    Vortexx-Dark Road-20160904_Misty Brew

    Sunday (8/21) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    DARK ROAD (2009)

    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of DARK ROAD aka The Devil Comes Home to Missouri. On a foggy night in the small southern town of Whitewater, Missouri, a local sheriff is called to the roadside scene of a violent execution-style murder. When the victim is identified as a mob-connected thug with local ties, the sheriff must determine if the murder is a message -- either to him or for him. However, the gathering storm of violence heading his way will leave no time for second guessing. This Indie movie by Patrick Bond and Steve E. Turner was filmed entirely in and around Cape Girardeau, Missouri (Misty's home base) and features local talent including members of The Tone Def Allstars (Darren Burgfeld) and Drivin Rain (Skully Shemwell) in lead roles.

    Vortexx-Screaming Skull-20160905_Night Chills Theater

    Monday (9/05) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE
    presents
    THE SCREAMING SKULL (1958)

    Tonight we celebrate Labor Day (and the 469th birthday of The Crimson Executioner) by welcoming NIGHT CHILLS THEATRE with Vincent Grimmly to The Vortexx! Hailing from The City of Sin, the hilarious and talented Mr. Grimmly follows in the rich tradition of Las Vegas vampire horror hosts, keeping us entertained with his collection of nutty schlock flicks that he broadcasts from his studio at Castle Pappdeckel. Vincent is assisted by his sidekick and co-host -- a pet raven named Phydeaux (pronounced "Fido"), who unfortunately clams up on camera during his debut appearance. Tonight Vincent and Phydeaux will be presenting THE SCREAMING SKULL (1958). It's about a newlywed couple whose marital bliss is spoiled by the ghost of the husband's previous wife. The producers of this movie offered free burial services to anyone who died of fright while watching the film, so we're gonna make the same offer. Join us tonight . . . if you dare!

    Vortexx-Werewolf v Vampire Woman-20160906_Bordello

    Tuesday (9/6) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BORDELLO OF HORROR
    presents
    WEREWOLF VERSUS THE VAMPIRE WOMAN (1970) (1987)

    Tonight Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Mary Johuana presents WEREWOLF VERSUS THE VAMPIRE WOMAN (1970) starring Paul Naschy as Waldemar Daninsky the Werewolf and Patty Shepard as Countess Wandessa the Vampire Woman. Just imagine what would happen if a group of twelve-year-olds decided to make their own version of the old Universal monster movies. If you can picture that, then you have a pretty good idea of what this movie is all about. In addition to the movie, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guests John Masino Band - JMB, a movie review by Mark Krawczyk from The Final Cut, and more! [Movie poster by Sean Hartter courtesy of Saturday Fright Special.]

    Vortexx-Demon Lover-20160907_Remo DWednesday (9/7) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    THE DEMON LOVER (1977)

    Last week we watched Remo host Demon Lover Diary, a documentary about the making of Donald (Hell Comes to Frogtown) Jackson's first low-budget horror movie, The Demon Lover. Tonight, by popular demand, we're going to show you the movie itself. This little gem has everything that a B-movie fan could expect from a film of its kind -- bad acting, lousy writing, murky camera work, a little skin (not much), a little blood, characters named after comic-book artists and movie directors, and a surprisingly accurate look at what a lot of fringe-type folks were like during the late 1970s. It's got one big-name actor (Gunnar Hansen, best known as Leatherface in Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and one real comic-book artist (Val Mayerik, best known for Howard the Duck). The demon itself is not half bad, despite the low budget. With a larger budget, its creators Dennis and Robert Skotak would go on to bigger and better things with Aliens, Terminator 2, and Titanic.

    Vortexx-Tavern Maudite-20160908_Skunky Cinema

    Thursday (9/8) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    SKUNKY CINEMA
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    LA TAVERNE MAUDITE (1936)

    SKUNKY CINEMA with Mortimer Van Creep presents The Vortexx premiere of LA TAVERNE MAUDITE (1936) aka The Rogues' Tavern. Tonight's film is an English-language movie made in the good ole USA and released as The Rogues' Tavern. However, we're using the French poster and title so as not to create the erroneous impression that there's any connection between Morty's show and a certain group of miscreants known as The Rogue Elements. Tonight’s movie is kind of a cross between The Old Dark House and Ten Little Indians. A group of people arrive at an old hotel called the Red Rock Tavern, all having been invited by telegrams sent by a mysterious stranger. One by one, they turn up dead with crushed throats and bite marks. A wolf-dog tethered outside the tavern is the initial suspect. But a couple of small-time store detectives (Wallace Ford and Barbara Pepper), who have come to the hotel to meet a justice of the peace and get married, begin to suspect that a human is involved. As for the Rogue Elements, Sluggo has beefed up security to avoid a repetition of that unpleasant incident of last March, and with Destroyah hosting the chat, we're certain that Morty's show will run tonight without a hitch.

    Vortexx-Trapped By TV-20160909_Weirdness

    Friday (9/9) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    THE WEIRDNESS REALLY BAD MOVIE
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    TRAPPED BY TELEVISION (1936)

    THE WEIRDNESS REALLY BAD MOVIE with Dave Binkley and co-host Shannon Steele presents The Vortexx premiere of TRAPPED BY TELEVISION (1936). Released four months before television first became commercially available, tonight's movie is a sci-fi/comedy/mystery about a brilliant but penniless inventor (Lyle Talbot) who's working on his latest creation, a new form of television monitor and camera. His monetary problems are compounded by an aggressive bill collector looking for payments and competition from a rival scientist. When organized crime figures are added to the mix, the desperation level rises for our intrepid inventor. Tonight's show was hosted from the TV Dinner Club Museum in Akron, Ohio, where Shannon does her best to keep Dave out of trouble.

    Vortexx-Live from Horrorhound Weekend-20160910_The Vortexx

    Saturday (9/3) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    THE VORTEXX
    We interrupt our regular programming to bring you . . .
    LIVE FROM HORRORHOUND WEEKEND!

    That's right, folks! The staff of The Vortexx are going to take a break from their partying to present a special live feed from HHW in Indianapolis. Sluggo and CJ the Werewolf will be hosting the festivities and there will be guest appearances by anyone we can round up, including we hope Dr. Lady and the Sasquatches. Instead of the usual gawd-awful movie, we will be showing cartoons and other stuff between the skits. That way, we won't have to worry about whether the segments of the movie are running in the correct order or whether we remembered to air the end of it. If you can't be in Indianapolis this weekend, this is the next best thing!

    Vortexx-Bride of the Monster-20160911_Beware Theater

    Sunday (9/11) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BEWARE THEATER
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    Ed Wood's BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955)

    BEWARE THEATER with Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another gem from the Golden Age of Black-and-White -- Ed Wood's BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955). In his last starring role, an emaciated Bela Lugosi plays an aging mad scientist with a plan to create a race of supermen with the help of Tor Johnson. Bela shows off his acting chops in his memorable "Home, I Have No Home" soliloquy, and the final scene where he wrestles with a rubber octopus must be seen in order to be believed.

    ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

    Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

    The Vortexx escape reality"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

    The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

    If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
    Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

    The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

    Available in three convenient sizes!
    Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

    The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

    If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
    Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

    The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

    The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
    Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

    The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

    Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

    Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

    The Official Food of The Vortexx!
    Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

    The Vortexx - Chia Host

    BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

    Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

    Two delicious pickle treats!

    Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

    The Vortexx - Egg Bleach
    Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

    "Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

    Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

    Vortexx - Slugnado

    SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

    House of Tortured Souls Live Welcomes Billy Pon

    With Special Guest Billy Pon

    By John Roisland, Stephanie Roisland, and Allen (Dixielord) Alberson

    &npsp;

    During the Billy Pon interview about a minute and a half of audio was garbled, and some bits lost. It was either cut the entire section, leave it or try and piece it together and possibly lose or misinterpret the questions and response so I decided to leave it as is. Apologies to Billy Pon.

    13653311_1569525626682392_7545713216394679585_o

    Hello and welcome to Episode III of House of Tortured Souls Live! This week we discuss the sneak preview release of what has become the most anticipated horror film of 2016. We could be talking about, the one and only, love him or hate him...Rob Zombie's 31. House of Tortured Souls own Jonathan Patrick Hughes was there to check out the release on the big screen as well as give you his thoughts in his written review online at www.houseoftorturedsouls.com. We discuss the return of American Horror Story 6 being brought back the Fox network September 14th, with the return of Lady Gaga. The Misfits reunion with confirmed legendary drummer (SLAYER/ SUICIDAL TENDENCIES) Dave Lombardo will begin at Riot Fest. House of Tortured Souls pays tribute to and remembers comedic actor Gene Wilder who starred in such great films as Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstien and Blazing Saddles, and who all know was the real Willy Wonka. . The House of Tortured Souls takes a moment to also celebrate the birthday of Asian horror Master Takashi Miike. In the studio for Episode III co-founder of House of tortured Souls Stephanie Roisland> joined us and gets you up to date on Fangoria Music release of The Horde mixtapes. House of tortured Souls is also proud to announce that one of our own, Rocky Gray is currently directing his own horror Anthology entitled 10/31/ 16 and Allen Alberson also gives us an in-depth look at the problems with distribution in film making as he discusses lost movies that have never made it. The House of Tortured Souls Live was also honored with our first in studio guest for Episode III, director of Dolll Boy and Circus of the Dead, Mr. Billy Pon aka Bloody Bill, who discusses the making of Circus of the Dead , problems with distribution companies, his own Haunted House in his home land of Texas all that while we try to get Allen a Pepsi!

    Keep It Evil.

    EXCLUSIVE MOVIE REVIEW: Rob Zombie’s 31

    By Jonathan Patrick Hughes

    Rob Zombie - Fair use doctrine.
    Rob Zombie

    Most films by Rob Zombie are like a mixed batch of coffee flavors. Some we love, some we loathe, and some are just okay. With that being said, I was highly eager to check out his new film to see if what he promised was delivered. 31_TheaterSpecial thanks goes out to Fathom Events for having this one night screening.

    Love him or hate him, but we at least must appreciate the fact that Rob Zombie is one of the hardest working men in the industry. When he isn't behind the camera, he is recording an album and when he isn't recording an album, he is touring the world.

    Rob Zombie's 31 poster 01 - Fair use doctrine.His latest film, 31, was the first film to raise money by using a crowdfunding site, which he got a bad rap for from people stating, "He is a sell out” and " His movies suck, which is why he needs to do it this way, rather than having a studio back him up because he is a horrible filmmaker”. Well, as you all can see, he was still very successful at achieving a nice sized budget to make the film he wanted to make for hardcore fans, and that's exactly what he did.

    Rob Zombie's 31 04 - The 31 crew
    The 31 crew
    L-R: Harry, Jonathan, Sydney, Leeana

    I was fortunate enough to be one of the few people to check out 31 with longtime friends/co workers, Leeana, Harry, and Sydney, and I am really glad I did.

    The film takes place on Halloween, 1976, and we are introduced to five carnies who are traveling to their next stop. Let’s just say they don't make it as they planned. Instead, they are kidnapped and taken to a factory where they are forced to play a game of 31. The rules are simple. Survive the night for 12 hours and, if you have to kill by doing so, then that’s what needs to be done. We are treated to some of the most crazy lunatics I have ever witnessed on screen, and it made me want to see more of them. Some are more likeable than others, but they all did the job they were supposed to do.

    From the opening segment I was hooked. We are introduced to Doom Head who is played by Richard Blake (Halloween II (2009)) He is a soulless human being with some of the most powerful dialogue ever written by Zombie himself. His opening monologue sets the mood and it sums up what Rob Zombie has in store for the audience.

    Rob Zombie's 31 01 - Fair use doctrine.
    Roscoe and Charly

    The film delivers a very appealing cast, from the goodies to the baddies, and all the performances are on par which made the film even more enjoyable. I did not once feel that any character was lacking or overstepping their boundaries or their welcome. In every scene, each character, nails it, and you can’t help but enjoy them and are pleased by the things they say and do while they last.

    This is very rare in a Rob Zombie film since he likes to come up with many characters that may or may not be needed in a given film. Some just seem to be there to fill up space even though they don't serve a purpose. Not here.

    Rob Zombie's 31 - Schizo-Head and Psycho Head - Fair use doctrine.
    Dueling clowns?

    31 has some of the best editing in any Rob Zombie film. One scene in particular deals with two clowns with chainsaws in two different rooms, and the way that scene was cut may very well be my favorite scene in any Rob Zombie movie. The tension was high and the bloodletting is unstoppable.

    Rob Zombie's 31 poster 02 - Fair use doctrine.31 is nothing more than a rusty chainsaw blade to the Adam's apple, and it delivers on every level. I was in awe from start to finish. With that being said, I felt like 31 was The Devil's Rejects meets a psycho twisted carnage circus of terror.

    Croatoan?: American Horror Story season 6

    By Dixielord

    The makers of American Horror Story have gone to great lengths to keep the theme of the upcoming season under wraps. We know about the cast. We know that American Horror Story season 6 will bring back Lady Gaga. We also know that Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Sarah Paulson, and Evan Peters have either been officially announced or have dropped hints they will return. On the flip side, we know series favorite Jessica Lange won't be returning for American Horror Story season 6. We even know that the start date has been pushed up to September from the usual October. But we still don't know the theme. Or do we?

    "La

    On set photos posted to TMZ seem to heavily point to American Horror Story season 6 focusing on one of America's greatest mysteries. Not the Bermuda Triangle (which is kind of American) and not Bigfoot (and why the hell not Bigfoot?), but the mystery of Roanoke. The most telling photo was of a tree with the word “Croatoan” carved into it. When the colony of Roanoke, with all 117 settlers, disappeared, the only clue left behind was the a similar carving.

    "What

    TMZ has also published pictures that seem to show a colonial era village, and their “spies” have reported cast members dressed in pilgrim garb. With all this, it seems guaranteed that American Horror Story season 6 with focus, at least partially on the lost colony. Add to that that in season one, Murder House, Sarah Paul son’s character told a fictionalized version of the Roanoke mystery. FX president John Langraf has stated that the upcoming season will be set in the present, but with echoes from the past. I'd be willing the past is set in or around Roanoke.

    "Question

    Other media released by the network heavily features a question mark motif. So could season 6 be titled American Horror Story Mysteries maybe? Who knows. Right now we have a lot of hints, some very defining hints, but just hints. September 14th is just two weeks away, so at least we wont have to wait long to find out!

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR 28 AUGUST – 04 SEPTEMBER 2016

    VORTEXX SCHEDULE FOR
    28 AUGUST – 04 SEPTEMBER 2016

    By The Crimson Executioner
    &
    Woofer McWooferson

    EDITOR’S NOTE: House of Tortured Souls apologizes to The Vortexx, Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Lord Blood-Rah, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, and Remo D. & friends for missing the schedule post and, consequently, publishing this halfway through the week.

    Paw Print microscopicWoofer McWooferson,
    Editor-in-Chief

    The Vortexx Hosts_02
    Welcome to THE VORTEXX where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

    We've got a great line-up of shows, hosts, and movies this week for your viewing and chatting pleasure with two new movies -- and one great host -- making their Vortexx debut including the final installment of Bordello of Horror's NinJuly in August. Our hosts are Arachna of the Spider People & Deadly, Lord Blood-Rah, Freakshow & the Bordello gang, Remo D. & friends, Rizzle MaNizzle the Clown, Sicko Psychotic, Cnl. Graves, and Misty Brew. Check out the schedule for details about all the fine shows airing this week in The Vortexx. Enjoy the shows and thanks for hanging out!

    Vortexx-Phantom from 10,000 Leagues-20160828_Beware Theater

    Sunday (8/28) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BEWARE THEATER
    presents
    PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES (1955)

    Arachna of the Spider People and her friend Deadly presents another gem from the Golden Age of Black & White -- PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES (1955). Government agent Kent Taylor goes up against spies, an underwater death ray, and a ludicrous monster who looks like The Creature From The Black Lagoon's hillbilly cousin. There's also a mad scientist (Michael Whalen) with a beautiful daughter (Cathy Downs), who takes showers and falls in love with the government agent. Will Arachna be able to make lemonade out of this lemon? Join us tonight and find out!

    Vortexx-The Terror-20160829_Lord Blood-Rah

    Monday (8/29) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    LORD BLOOD-RAH'S NERVE WRACKIN' THEATRE
    presents
    Roger Corman’s THE TERROR (1963)

    Lord Blood-Rah presents Roger Corman’s THE TERROR (1963) starring Boris Karloff, a very young Jack Nicholson, Sandra Knight, and Corman regulars Dick Miller and Jonathan Haze. Roger had just finished filming The Raven and Karloff had three days left on his contract, so he shot this film using the same sets! The plot involves a young officer in Napoleon's army who pursues a mysterious woman to the castle of an elderly Baron. Nicholson, Francis Ford Coppola, and Jack (Spider Baby) Hill were among the second-unit directors. As always, Lord Blood-Rah will be spicing up the mix with plenty of movie trailers, a Cranial Cavity Search, and other extras.

    Vortexx-Street Fighter-20160830_Bordello

    Tuesday (8/30) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    BORDELLO OF HORROR'S
    NINJULY IN AUGUST

    presents
    THE STREET FIGHTER (1974) (1987)

    Tonight Freakshow, Mistress Malicious, Sgt. Drizzlepuss, Ali Katt, and Mary Johuana will be hosting The Vortexx premiere of the fourth and final installment in their month-long series of martial arts films -- THE STREET FIGHTER (1974). Sonny Chiba chews up the scenery as Terry Tsurugi, a martial arts master who uses his abundant talents as a mercenary gun-for-hire. After he is hired by the Japanese mob to kidnap the daughter of a deceased billionaire, he decides to switch sides and protect her instead. Much gore and mayhem ensue. If you want to see butt-whuppin' administered with balletic grace and artistry, then rent yourself a Bruce Lee film. If you want to see a guy mercilessly whip truckloads of butt, then this is the movie for you! In addition to the butt-whuppins, Freaky will be entertaining us with special musical guest Art Paul Schlosser, and more!

    Vortexx-Demon Lover Diary-20160831_Remo DWednesday (8/31) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    REMO D.'S MANOR OF MAYHEM
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    DEMON LOVER DIARY (1980)

    Tonight's film is not a horror movie but rather a movie about the making of a low-budget horror movie called The Demon Lover (1977). Unlike your typical "making of" movie, which tends to be more informative than entertaining, this one not only stands head-and-shoulders above the actual movie (which, frankly, stank) but also is a hoot to watch. It's about a couple of factory workers named Don Jackson and Jerry Younkins, who grew up on comic books and B-movies and have always wanted to produce their own horror movie. After Jerry gets some insurance money from an industrial accident (which he may or may not have orchestrated), he and Don decide to fulfill their lifelong ambition. Unfortunately both guys have more enthusiasm than talent, and once the filming starts everything that possibly could go wrong does go wrong. The story is told from the point of view of Joel DeMott, a professional filmmaker whose boyfriend Jeff Kreins was hired by Don and Jerry as the cameraman for their magnum opus. Rocker Ted Nugent makes a cameo appearance when the crew show up at his home to borrow some of his guns and ammo for a scene.

    Vortexx-Double Feature-20160901_Rizzle

    Thursday (9/1) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    RIZZLE MaNIZZLE
    presents
    RIZZLE MaNIZZLE DOUBLE FEATURE

    Join us tonight for a RIZZLE MaNIZZLE DOUBLE FEATURE! First up Rizzle the Clown proudly presents The Vortexx debut of those three little rapscallions HERMAN SHERMAN AND TINA, who will be entertaining us with a mix of cartoons (1933's Betty Boop's “Crazy Inventions”), movie trailers (including Night of the Living Dead and Plan 9), public service films (Lunchroom Manners), and song parodies (concluding with a rousing rendition of "Happy Together"). Then stick around as RIZZLE MaNIZZLE's GINGERBREAD HOUSE OF LUNACY presents the one, the only, the incomparable MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE (1966). That's riiiiiiight!! All your friends will be back tonight! Torgo, The Master & his Wives, Michael & Margaret, little Debbie, the two teens in the car, the two girls in the convertible, and, of course, Peppy the Poodle. Believe it or not Rizzle has actually found a way to make this stinker watchable, mainly by cutting it down to less than 45 minutes and then riffing it to pieces a la MST3K!

    Vortexx-Blancheville Monster-20160902_Sicko Psychotic

    Friday (9/2) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    SICKO-PSYCHOTIC
    presents
    THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER (1963)

    Join us tonight as SICKO-PSYCHOTIC returns to The Vortexx for his second appearance! Broadcasting from the Sick-Shack in Las Vegas, Nevada, Sicko and his co-hosts, Silky Harlot the spider and Cameo the camera obscura, were a big hit with the viewers when their first show debuted two weeks ago, and tonight is your chance to see them again! Tonight Sicko & friends will be hosting THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER (1963). Loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe's “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “The Premature Burial”, this visually striking but talky Italian-Spanish Gothic thriller stars Ombretta Colli as Emily de Blancheville, the beautiful young daughter of a crazed count, who fears that she will fall victim to the family curse. The film moves about as slowly as The Giant Gila Monster, but it has a few things going for it, including two attractive female leads and a willowy nightgown that shows Emily's perky breasts. We're confident that Sicko will relieve the tedium with more of the creative, imaginative, and hilarious host breaks that made his first show so much fun to watch.

    http://i0.wp.com/houseoftorturedsouls.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Vortexx-Fists-of-Steel-20160903_PD-Drive-In.jpg?resize=474%2C246

    Saturday (9/3) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    PUBLIC DOMAIN DRIVE-IN
    presents
    FISTS OF STEEL (1986)

    PUBLIC DOMAIN DRIVE-IN with Cnl. Graves and Smiley Bones presents FISTS OF STEEL (1986). Also known as Atomic Cyborg, Hands of Steel, and Vendetta from the Future, this Italian-made knockoff of The Terminator and Blade Runner has more alternate titles than an Al Adamson movie. Daniel Greene, whose robotic acting style perfectly fits his character, stars as Paco Queruak, a cyborg created by a sinister industrialist (John Saxon) to assassinate a blind scientist (Donald O'Brian) who stands in the way of his evil schemes. Despite the low budget and questionable acting, the non-stop action and rousing musical score (by Claudio Simonetti) make this a highly entertaining cheeseball of a movie from start to finish.

    Vortexx-Dark Road-20160904_Misty Brew

    Sunday (8/21) @ 9:00 P.M. (ET)
    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE DOUBLE FEATURE!
    presents
    The Vortexx premiere of
    DARK ROAD (2009)

    MISTY BREW'S CREATURE FEATURE presents The Vortexx premiere of DARK ROAD aka The Devil Comes Home to Missouri. On a foggy night in the small southern town of Whitewater, Missouri, a local sheriff is called to the roadside scene of a violent execution-style murder. When the victim is identified as a mob-connected thug with local ties, the sheriff must determine if the murder is a message -- either to him or for him. However, the gathering storm of violence heading his way will leave no time for second guessing. This indie movie by Patrick Bond and Steve E. Turner was filmed entirely in and around Cape Girardeau, Missouri (Misty's home base) and features local talent including members of The Tone Def Allstars (Darren Burgfeld) and Drivin Rain (Skully Shemwell) in lead roles.

    ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

    Welcome to The Vortexx where it's ALL HOSTS ALL THE TIME!

    The Vortexx - septagons"Every day is a good day that ends in The Vortexx." You can find us at horrorhost.net and livestream.com/allhorrorhosts. Remember folks, we're the Gooble Gobble Channel. We accept everyone. And we will keep the doors open as long as you keep coming around! If you're a horror host looking for an additional outlet for your show, email Sluggo at sluggo@horrorhost.net.

    The Vortexx - Bloody Pit of Health Fitness Centers

    If you don't get the results you're looking for within the eight weeks of the program, The Azure Executioner guarantees that he will personally throw you into his exclusive vat of acid!
    Introducing our newest sponsor -- Bloody Pit of Health! Want to eliminate those things that interfere with the harmony of your perfect body? The Bloody Pit has all the latest fitness equipment -- weight room, Olympic-sized pool, and even a spider room. To find the location nearest you, visit their website www.clubdesade.com

    The Vortexx - Mummy Fart

    Available in three convenient sizes!
    Mummy Fart! The perfect product to get those pleasant smells out of your tomb. Available in three convenient sizes!

    The Vortexx - Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium

    If you're interested, just e-mail us for Kurt's current location.
    Kurt Pasakivi's Used Car Emporium! At Kurt's Emporium you can buy the car of your dreams for a deep discount. If you see a car on the street that you like, just send Kurt a photo of the car and the license plate, and he'll negotiate with the owner and sell it to you at a steal!

    The Vortexx - Executioner's Ale

    The Official Beers of The Vortexx!
    Executioner's Ale! A bloody good red ale crafted in the torture chamber of the Crimson Executioner. Sock Stout! The sock with the hops. A thick and creamy head just for you. [Sock Stout is a trademark of Raen, used with permission.]

    The Vortexx - Amazon Andy

    Amazon Andy is the creation of Nick Polotta, a very gifted writer and comedian who, sadly, passed away on April 13, 2013.

    Totino's Pizza Rolls, Crimson Royal Jelly, and Amazon Andy's Southern Fried Tarantula Legs! The original sponsors of The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx Skull Cornbread

    The Official Food of The Vortexx!
    Skull Cornbread! The official food of The Vortexx, served piping hot from the oven of the Crimson Executioner.

    The Vortexx - Chia Host

    BORDELLO OF HORROR with Freakshow airs Tuesday at 9 (ET)

    Chia Host! The latest sensation from Mushnick Florists. You can see him every Tuesday night in The Vortexx!

    The Vortexx - Chilly Dilly

    Two delicious pickle treats!

    Chilly Dilly! A delicious pickle treat that's spiced just right for every bite. And now you can "pucker up" with the all-new Chilly Dilly Lip Balm!

    The Vortexx - Egg Bleach
    Jason "Egg" Brown was an integral part of The Vortexx as a staff member and long-time viewer until his passing on June 27, 2016. Jason may have departed this Earth, but he will live forever in The Vortexx.

    "Now that's a product I can really GET BEHIND!" -- Egg.

    Egg Bleach! The all-purpose antiseptic for treatment of cuts, scratches, and abrasions. And now you can touch up those "intimate" parts of your body with the all-new Egg Anal Bleach!

    The Vortexx - President Sluggo

    SLUGGO!!! OUR DEAR LEADER AND FREELY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE VORTEXX!!!

    THIS JUST IN: 1, 2, Freddy’s Coming for You… Again

    By Jonathan Patrick Hughes

    In 1984, writer/director Wes Craven and producer Robert Shay made everyone terrified to fall asleep with their hit film entitled A Nightmare on Elm Street. The film was about a child murderer who was killed by a bunch of parents to protect their children, but this horrible human being does not stay dead for long. The children, now teenagers, are finally beginning to understand the truth and to pay for their parents’ sins as they fall victim to this dream demon who has the power to invade their nightmares and kill them one by one. If he gets you in your sleep, you don't wake up at all. His name is Freddy Krueger, and he is coming back!

    Heather Langenkamp in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Photo by Melissa Moseley - © 1984 - New Line Cinema Entertainment, Inc.
    Heather Langenkamp in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
    Photo by Melissa Moseley - © 1984 - New Line Cinema Entertainment, Inc.

    The franchise is a sacred and well-loved piece of cinema, and fans all over the world can tell you their favorite lines, kills, and sequel. For me, the original was the best; it was scary, fresh, and terrifying. My favorite sequel is either Dream Warriors or Dream Master. I can't pick one or the other because for me three was the last one that was scary and four was a turning point where Freddy became more of a fun cartoon. And I believe that was the film where fans started to adore him and want to love him. A Nightmare on Elm Street spawned six sequels as well as Freddy vs. Jason in 2003. After the FvJ installment, there were talks about bringing in Chucky, Michael Myers, Ash, and even Pinhead. Things didn't develop as fast as people wanted. So, lo and behold, MICHAEL FRIGGING BAY decides to take his horror production label, known as Platinum Dunes, and remake one of the best iconic horror films ever made and he fucked it up!

    Robert Englund in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Photo by Zade Rosenthal - © 1984 - New Line Cinema Entertainment, Inc.
    Robert Englund in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
    Photo by Zade Rosenthal - © 1984 - New Line Cinema Entertainment, Inc.

    Warner Bros. Pictures/New Line Cinema and Michael Bay brought us a remake back in 2010, and, like most people, I only hope that one day I can forget about it. Looks like that won't be happening anytime soon, however, because Freddy is on his way back to the screen and a new actor will be putting on the dirty red and green sweater as well as the glove.

    As a loyal fan of the franchise as well as Robert Englund himself, I, for one, do not see a point in this at all. The first remake did horrendous at the box office and I'm sorry, but when you have an iconic character played by the same person (Robert Englund) throughout the entire franchise, fans only see that person playing that character. Freddy isn't Freddy without Mr. Englund. The infamous outstanding one liners, the body language and the facial features were all created by him and no one will ever be able to pull that off no matter how hard they try. You cannot replace greatness. A script is being written as we speak and casting has yet to be announced as well as a director, but in the end this is going to be another remake that people will toss to the side unless Robert Englund himself puts the glove back on one more time. Only 184 billion people can hope!

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