TV: Blood Drive (2017)

TV: Blood Drive (2017)

With their newest offering Blood Drive, the SyFy Channel makes the jump onto the horror series bandwagon by adding their own dark, twisted, and yet hip show to the mix.
Everyone who knows me also knows that I’m not much of a TV person. I’ve always been a movie kind of guy. Over the past few years, yes, I will admit there have been some very appealing shows. Bates Motel, The Exorcist, Ash vs Evil Dead, and Hellavator – very entertaining and I loved the concept of the show, and, most recently, American Gods.
Plus, I love seeing that more and more horror style shows are coming to the surface. It proves that horror is alive and well! When I first heard of Blood Drive and saw that it was a SyFy Channel series, I swore I heard taps playing far off in the distance. To me, the SyFy Channel (no offense to anyone), seems to put out the worst original shows ever made. They’re just pure low budget, badly acted piles of shit! Many people actually eat those kind of shows up, and more power to you, but they’re not for me.
Then I then saw the trailer for Blood Drive, and I have to admit that I was really taken by the quality of what I saw – good looking quality, great looking quality actually, high action, acting looking passable, and BLOOD…lots of blood!!!
The premise of Blood Drive is a race where people are forced to participate. Once the race has begun, it’s win or die. There’s a catch, you see, because the cars are fueled with human blood. So it is not only a race; it’s a race to stay alive as the blood that fuels your ride is that of your competitors.

The Blood Drive Facebook page calls it the “BLOODIEST SHOW ON EARTH” and welcomes all perverts, nymphos, freaks, and felons while also proclaiming , “finally a show for cannibals and psychopaths”!
I must admit that the show looks pretty damn good…kind of a Death Race, The Road Warrior, and The Fast and the Furious got together in an ugly threesome and the result was this bastard child. The show has a deliberate grindhouse feel to it as well. I like that! Who knows? Maybe this will be the SyFy show to win me over.
The show premiered Wednesday, June 14th, so check back Sunday for a review from Brenda Wilder Antlitz.
*Editor’s Note: We will have a review of Blood Drive soon and apologize for the misunderstanding.
-Woofer McWooferson, Editor-in-Chief
Keep It Evil
Blood Drive / Fair use doctrine.
Posted by John Roisland in TELEVISION REVIEWS, 0 comments
BOOK REVIEW: Cannibal Metropolis (October 31, 2014)

BOOK REVIEW: Cannibal Metropolis (October 31, 2014)

By Nick Durham

Cannibal Metropolis

Just when I thought my trek through cannibal land would come to an end, I discover this little fucker right here. A novel by Saurav Dutt (I just want to say right now that I am so fucking glad I have the luxury of typing this thing. If I had to try to say his name out loud for a video review or something, there’s no way I could ever pronounce it correctly.), Cannibal Metropolis is a glorious mix of zombie horror and cannibal trash. It also manages to beat you over the head with political social commentary, so that way the whole affair isn’t just flesh eating, genital mutilation, and rape.

In other words, this is what every kid in school today should do a book report on.

Anyway, Cannibal Metropolis follows a government-led experiment involving a cannibal tribe which eventually turns some soldiers into superhuman cannibal zombies (yes, you read that right) that enjoy raping, pillaging, and eating people alive. There’s tons of characters that all have names based on classic genre actors (Biehn, Saxon, Atherton, Englund, and Henriksen) that don’t really mean much to the overall story, because we care little about them. It’s the violence and brutal way that people are assaulted and munched on that is the main attraction here. Eventually the undead cannibals grow in number (zombie rules get followed to a degree, but just because these fuckers are undead doesn’t mean that all they do is shamble around and eat, their brains still function.), and shit begins to really hit the fan when New York City becomes the main target during an Occupy-style protest, and that’s when shit really hits the fan.

Needless to say, this book is absolutely disgusting…and super fucking enjoyable. Seriously, I read through this 250 page book in no time flat. Even though the characterizations are stock and boring, the events taking place definitely aren’t. The political stabs (no pun intended) are really heavy handed, though. Subtle social commentary is something this thing doesn’t really have, but that’s beside the point. Cannibal Metropolis knows what it is, and Dutt knows what he’s written here, and he delivers the goods that we sick fucks are looking for.

Cannibal Metropolis isn’t anything revolutionary or genre-changing, but like I said, it is really fucking enjoyable for what it is. That being said, if you’re a fan of zombies and want a little something different, or if you’re a fan of cannibals and want a little something different (I swear I didn’t type that way on purpose), then you should check this out. I can’t find much background info on author Saurav Dutt, so I have no idea if this is his first foray into this kind of thing. If so, I hope he churns out some more of this stuff. Anyway, check out Cannibal Metropolis. If you get it off of Amazon, try to grab a barf bag too.

Rating: 4 severed penises out of 5

Posted by Nick Durham in BOOKS, COMICS AND PUBLICATION REVIEWS, 0 comments
BLU-RAY REVIEW: Cannibal Ferox (1981)

BLU-RAY REVIEW: Cannibal Ferox (1981)

By Nick Durham


Here we go again…

Cannibal Ferox is the not as well-known little brother to Cannibal Holocaust, though it does have quite the following regardless. Directed by Umberto Lenzi (who like Ruggero Deodato, has a lot of experience with this type of filth), Cannibal Ferox, also known as Make Them Die Slowly, is somehow a tad more ferocious in tone than its more well-known brethren. Yes, I’m serious. Also like Cannibal Holocaust, Grindhouse Releasing has blessed us with a beautiful Blu-ray release of the film, which I’ll be talking all about shortly.

Anyway, Cannibal Ferox revolves around a handful of anthropologists that take a trip to the Colombian jungle in hopes of proving that cannibalistic tribes are just a myth. Of course things don’t work out that way, because then we wouldn’t have a fucking movie here would we? They run into a guy named Mike; who is a drug dealer on the run from the New York City mob. He’s also a total sick fuck, and has done some extremely terrible things to the local natives…and even if you’ve never seen this film before (or any cannibal film honestly), you already know where all this is going.

Cannibal Ferox is a truly deplorable film in every sense of the word, and I’m not afraid to say that either. Whereas Cannibal Holocaust is a nasty film that’s hard to watch, it has that little bit of subtext and social commentary that set it apart from others of its ilk that made it memorable. Cannibal Ferox has none of that…and you know what? That’s actually okay. This is a grindhouse/exploitation movie after all, and we’re all here to see people get tortured and eaten, and that’s what we fucking get. Body parts are severed, flesh is eaten, there’s animal death, and all the other elements that you’d expect from a cannibal film are here, and on full fucking display. It is absolutely perverse how enjoyable it all is…to a degree. It also features Cannibal Holocaust and Debbie Does Dallas star Robert Kerman as well…I’m not saying that as a negative point, I’m only mentioning it because this is the one film he’s in where he doesn’t show his cock, so I didn’t recognize him right away.

I won’t lie, I have a harder time watching this than I do Cannibal Holocaust. Where I had said that Cannibal Holocaust has subtext, etc. and Cannibal Ferox does not, that’s saying it lightly. Cannibal Ferox is just plain fucking cruel. It’s vicious to its core and unapologetic about it too. Not to mention the film as a whole feels uneven. The tone between the jungle scenes and the scenes in New York contrast each other so much it’s like you’re watching two different films. Maybe that’s an effect that Lenzi was going for? The civilized world versus the jungle?

Nah, I’m giving him too much credit with that one.

Grindhouse Releasing has outdone themselves again with this Blu-ray release. The picture and sound are absolutely brilliant as one would expect, and there’s a bonus remastered CD soundtrack as well. There’s also some rarely seen deleted footage, a commentary by Lenzi, new interviews, a horde of trailers, and a very interesting documentary that features interviews with Lenzi, Ruggero Deodato, Robert Kerman, and more. It’s an awesome set, even better than what Grindhouse provided us with the Cannibal Holocaust Blu-ray release believe it or not. My only gripe, and this is totally personal, is that there’s no feature to skip the animal deaths like the Cannibal Holocaust Blu-ray had. I just can’t watch that shit, and I’ve seen some really nasty stuff over the years. Maybe I’m soft. If I am, fuck it, I don’t care.

All in all, Cannibal Ferox isn’t nearly as impactful a film as Cannibal Holocaust, but if this is your kind of thing, you should check it out regardless. If you are a fan and you don’t own this, you’re missing out. Pick this up while you can, you’ll be happy that you did.

Also, I just want to say that if it’s one thing watching all these cannibal movies has taught me, it’s that if I end up in the jungle I will seriously blow my brains out before anyone tries to eat my dick.

Rating: 4/5

Posted by Nick Durham in MOVIE REVIEWS, RETRO REVIEWS, 0 comments

COMING SOON: Bone Tomahawk (2015)


Kurt Russell in Bone Tomahawk

Western horror movies are a somewhat rare thing, especially good ones. This Halloween, the genre gets a new entry with Bone Tomahawk, which will also bring Kurt Russell back into the horror genre. Russell is popular with horror fans from his starring role in John Carpenter’s classic The Thing, as well as Carpenter’s not quite horror, but still classics Escape From New York and Big Trouble in Little China. Bone Tomahawk won’t be Russell’s only dip into the western genre this year. December will see the release of Quentin Tarantino’s Hateful Eight which will also star the former Snake Plisken.

Bone Tomahawk will be the directorial debut of writer/director Craig Zahler. The cast, along with Russell will include Patrick Wilson, David Arquette, Matthew Fox, Sean Young and horror icon Sid Haig. Timothy Olyphant and Jennifer Carpenter were originally set to star in the project but have since dropped out, replaced by Russell and Lili Simmons.

Kurt Russell and Sid Haig in Bone Tomahawk

Kurt Russell in Bone Tomahawk

Bone Tomahawk is set in the 1800s on the border between Texas and Mexico. It tells the story of a small town raided by a group of “cannibalistic troglodytes.” The cannibals kidnap several townspeople, and a posse, led by Russell, sets out to rescue them.

Just on the surface the film bears a passing resemblance to The 13th Warrior, with cannibals attacking a small town, and a group of warriors going in pursuit. The 13th Warrior was in itself based on the classic tale of Beowulf and Grendel. Whether or not this is just a surface resemblance we won’t know until it releases next month.

The movie will world premiere September 25 at Fantastic Fest, and will screen at the London Film Festival October 15, 2015. Bone Tomahawk will is set for a limited theatrical release on October 23, 2015 just in time for Halloween.

Halloween is going to be a sweet time for Horror fans with The Green Inferno opening late September, Crimson Peak in October as well as Bone Tomahawk. And you can never go wrong with Sid Haig being back on the big screen.

Posted by Allen Alberson in COMING SOON, 0 comments

COMING SOON: Leatherface (2016)

Leatherface Returns Again

By Dixielord

Leatherface poster
Are you ready for more Leatherface? Well, ready or not, Leatherface is coming back in 2016 for the eighth film in the Texas Chainsaw franchise. What eight films? Yep, this makes number eight in the franchise. Casual horror fans are possibly unaware of how many Chainsaw films there are as the series is a bit more disjointed than most horror franchises.

The new Leatherface is a prequel to the 2013 Texas Chainsaw 3D, making it the second prequel in the series. The new film’s plot involves the events that lead young Jackson Sawyer (which is at least his third name) to eventually become the killer. Young Leatherface is being played by Sam Strike (Eastenders), making him the seventh actor to portray Leatherface (not counting Kane Hodder who did stunts in 3). Stephen Dorff (Blade) plays the Texas Ranger hot on his trail. Originally, Angela Bettis was attached to the film as Verna Sawyer, but scheduling conflicts necessitated her dropping out. Lilli Taylor was then tapped for the role.

One thing horror fans can get excited about is the directorial team of Julian Maury and Alexandre Bustillo who bring the Seth M. Sherwood penned script to life. The two directors were responsible for the acclaimed French horror films Inside (2007) and Livid (2011) neither short on blood and gore. This should guarantee that the new Leatherface wont be a film for the squeamish.

Texas Chainsaw 3D turned a profit but received mixed reactions from fans. One of the biggest complaints was the screwed up time and technology of the film, with it seemingly set in the early 80s and the 2010s at the same time. The new film is set in the 70s but only time will tell if they get it right this time and if fans will welcome back their favorite chainsaw killer. Lionsgate is scheduled to release Leatherface in 2016.

Posted by Allen Alberson in COMING SOON, 0 comments